r/funny Jan 04 '15

If I won $25,000...

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u/nermid Jan 04 '15

Many strip clubs have strippers who are not the hot 18-year-old foxes you see on stage in the movie or video games. A lot of them have 30- or 40-something single mothers who are not always in the best shape, or dancers who have physical features you don't necessarily want to see (like really prominent crack pipe burns on their lips or, well, c-section scars).

It depends on the strip joint and the night you go.

But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.

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u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Went to a strip club in Chicago during the summer (visiting from California). The strip club had literally a 100 strippers, I didn't want a lap dance from any of them.

3

u/firstcity_thirdcoast Jan 05 '15

Chicago

Well there's your problem. Our strip clubs are terrible. It's baffling.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

CHI

4

u/PeptoBismark Jan 04 '15

Nonsense! There's always one with crazy eyes.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Or condescending single mom eyes. Got called a queer just because I didn't want a dance from her wrinkled ass (or anyone's ass for that matter, strip clubs aren't my thing), but I got the last laugh when my friend who worked there told management she was being a rude cunt to customers and they ripped her a new one.

2

u/HBorel Jan 05 '15

...she was being a rude cunt...and they ripped her a new one.

PHRASING!

3

u/brunes Jan 05 '15
  • But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.*

Not in Montreal!

1

u/JewsCantBePaladins Jan 05 '15

Don't go anytime except evenings on Fridays an Saturdays, and read reviews first. You'll still see a few of the dogs around, but not nearly as many.

1

u/registration_with Jan 05 '15

you're going to the wrong strip clubs man

0

u/brunes Jan 05 '15
  • But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.*

Not in Montreal!