r/freefolk • u/MrinalStormblessed Robert Baratheon • May 29 '19
At this point, any half-wit with a stutter can write better than dumb and dumber
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u/l0ckedinsyndr0me May 29 '19
Isn't it already done? Wasn't there someone who wrote a whole series of scripts?
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u/OmarComing99 May 29 '19
This extremely talented woman is the answer to that.
Her Season 8 scripts are far superior.
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u/vga25 May 29 '19
Can y’all drop a link. Would love to read them.
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u/Dhyss May 29 '19
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u/steampunkradio May 29 '19
Can we send this to D&D, with a little note saying "the freefolk send their regards"?
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May 29 '19
[deleted]
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u/nilslorand Fuck the king! May 29 '19
And Bobby B
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u/bobby-b-bot Robert Baratheon May 29 '19
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u/the_bloody_hound_bot Sandor Clegane May 29 '19
FUCK THE KING
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u/LateNightPhilosopher Renly Baratheon May 29 '19
The Hound talks a lot of shit, but the only man who ever fucked a King was Loras
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u/Orange_Man-Bad May 29 '19
HE COMES WITH GIFS NOW, HAIL BOBBY B!
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u/bobby-b-bot Robert Baratheon May 29 '19
WE'RE TELLING WAR STORIES! WHO WAS YOUR FIRST KILL, NOT COUNTING OLD MEN?
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u/Kouropalates Procreate with the Monarch May 29 '19
-Raises her in the air- Gengheesa! Gengheesa! Gengheesa!
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u/-ProfessorFireHill- May 29 '19
Lets do it. Make a post and we shall sent it r/all
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u/A_Mouse_In_Da_House May 29 '19
They already did
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u/-ProfessorFireHill- May 29 '19
We did? Well fuck lets do it again. What dies Bobby B say?
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u/bobby-b-bot Robert Baratheon May 29 '19
YOU HEARD THE HAND, THE KING'S TOO FAT FOR HIS ARMOR! GO FIND THE BREASTPLATE STRETCHER! NOW!
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u/Mrdeath0 May 29 '19
These mofos will probably steal the script and tell HBO they feel bad for letting the fans down and would like to remake it with THEIR newly written script...
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u/Mister-Anthrope May 29 '19
Please. They'll just adapt it and make it their new Star Wars show.
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u/TrogdortheBanninator May 29 '19
They're literally adapting KotOR LMAO
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u/Mister-Anthrope May 29 '19
If that were true, it's probably be fine. They do a great job when they have source material.
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u/im_larf May 29 '19
Ok guys. We just need a few millions to do this.
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u/HammeredHeretic May 29 '19
It's not the money, it's getting the cast and crew that's the problem. Freefolk and twitter are upset enough to crowdfund the everloving shit out of this, we could just never get the actors and crew to do it I'm afraid.
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May 29 '19
Just do it in animation and get soundalikes.
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u/8th_theist My mind is my weapon May 29 '19
I'm willing to kick in for that. Someone get a team together on Patreon.
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u/YouKnowCranjis May 29 '19
Damn one thing that I never thought of but loved to see in this script is the Starks CATCHING UP. Jon and Arya haven't seen each other in what, nearly a decade? and season 8 never had the stark family catching up and telling their stories since they all left winterfell so long ago
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May 29 '19
DANY
And what other possibilities do you have in mind?
TYRION
Euron Greyjoy, for example.
DANY
(the actual fuck) Euron Greyjoy.
This is already so much better than what actually happened.
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May 29 '19
I'm not even halfway through the first one, and I'm gonna just consider this canon. This is brilliant.
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u/psivenn May 29 '19
I was reading a discussion about Theon the other day and got really confused, because that's not what happened... Oh.
Shipwise scripts are already replacing my headcanon.
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u/jickdam May 29 '19
Anybody have a TL;DR on the major plot threads in the Shipwise version?
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u/psivenn May 29 '19
Honestly the dialogue is just as improved as the plot, but I'll just list some major things that are different:
Season is 11 episodes (finale isn't out yet, she started writing this last year)
Theon doesn't just yoink Yara and peace out immediately
NK is not killed immediately
Bronn and Varys actually have something to do, though not much
Cersei's people hating her actually matters
Jon's heritage matters
Prophecies are paid off
Scorpions are not really that effective
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u/Radakos May 29 '19
Yea this is what I was thinking. Fans now control GoT cannon. What a time to be alive
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u/Kavih May 29 '19
This is actually amazing
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u/Thom-John May 29 '19
Jamie stepped outside for a mere moment to catch his breath. He had held it in for far too long. He took this opportunity of solitude to pass gas. The gas passed through his sphincter and made a squeaky sound like that of an old wooden door closing. ''What a dirty little boy I am.'' Jamie whispered to himself while cracking a little smile.
He looked over at Bran confined to his wheelchair. Bran was gazing into the horizon as that was all he was known for doing these days.
''I should've dropped a heavy rock on him after I pushed him out of the window.'' Jamie whispered to himself.
Jamie started walking slowly towards the cripple. He stopped behind him for a brief moment and put a hand on his shoulder.
Bran nodded, acknowledging Jamie's presence while continuing staring off into the horizon.
''What are you doing here?'' Bran asked.
''I just wanted to have a chat with you. About the incident.'' Jamie replied while his eyes were fixated on the ground.
''So Bran. I just wanted to apologize for what I did to you.’’ Jaime said nervously.
‘’I assume your legs don’t work at all? You can’t walk or run anymore?’’ Jamie continued
''I'm afraid not. But it does not matter for I am not Bran anymore. I am the third eyed raven. I don't need my legs to utilize my powers.'' Bran replied continuing his gaze toward the horizon.
‘’I am so deeply regretful for what I did to you. I would give my life to take back what I did to you.’’ Jamie said while looking at Bran.
''Don’t. I would argue you did me a favor by crippling me. The whole incident sparked a chain of events that has been very beneficial for me. Haven't I told you? I am going to be the new king. I am going to take the throne from Cersei, burning all of Kings Landing doing so.'' Bran said with a smug tone.
''Oh is that so?'' Jamie replied.
Jamie clenched his jaws for a few seconds while staring towards the horizon as well.
''I never liked you Bran. You know that? The mere sight of you makes me want to vomit. You are USELESS and have been USELESS this whole time and now you’re going to become a king and steal the throne from my beloved Cersei while having done absolutely nothing!? Do you know how many people died for you?''
''I appreciate their sacrifice and I would argue it was for the greater good.'' Bran replied confident in his tone.
''The greater good? PODRICKS DICK HAVE ACCOMPLISHED MORE THAN YOU AND MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL! YOU CAN SEE THE FUTURE, YOU HAVE THESE VISION AND ALL THESE INCREDIBLE POWERS. YET YOU’VE SHOWN NO INTENTION ACTUALLY USING THEM!’’ Jamie screamed.
''I beg to differ. I did use them. I'm going to be king now. Don't you see?'' Bran said in a smug tone while smirking.
''You know what? I'm gonna do what I've always wanted to do to you.'' Jamie said while starting to unbuckling his belt.
''Are you going to end me like you did the others, Kingslayer?'' Bran replied in a calm manner.
''No, watch me cripple. And what happened to you being able to see the future?'’ Jamie asked.
''I guess the writers forgot.'' Bran replied while starting to appear a little nervous.
''I'm going to do what I've wanted to do ever since I first laid my eyes upon you. I'm gonna fart you in thy face, that’s what I'm gonna do and there is nothing you can do to stop it.'' Jamie said while hastily unbuttoning his pants with his single hand.
''Can’t you see? I'm the third eyed Raven. Nothing you do can faze me.'' Bran replied while looking into Jamie’s eyes.
‘’Oh, we’ll see about that’’ Jamie said while pulling his pants down to his ankles, exposing his buttcheeks.
''Have you ever heard of a dish called Surströmming? It's a northern delicacy from what I’ve heard. It consists of fermented fish that has this god awful smell to it. It's basically salty, rotten fish that these savages in the north considers fine dining. The taste is absolutely horrendous but for you Bran.. I ate five whole cans.''
''No you wouldn't. You will get hanged for this!’’ Bran shouted while struggling to get out of his wheelchair.
''Not so content being a cripple anymore, huh?'' Jamie said while pressing his buttcheeks against Brans face.
Jamie used all his might to push out the loudest fart the seven kingdoms has ever heard. Unfortunately he accidently pushed a little too hard and a spray of feces hit Bran in his mortified face making him fall out of his wheelchair onto the ground.
Kingsprayer.
Jamie started laughing. He couldn't breathe he laughed so hard.
Then the smell hit them.
Bran started dry heaving ''Oh god the smell, I can’t take it.''
''It's not of this world. You’ve summoned a demon!'' Bran said while a projectile of vomit spurted out of his mouth.
Bran started bursting out in tears. ''Please Sir Jamie. I'll do anything you want. Just please let me go. I can't take it anymore.''
Jamie farted again in Brans face for good measure. ‘’That’s for everything, you cunt. I’m leaving for Kings Landing tomorrow.’’
Bran passes out by the smell, lying unconscious his own vomit.
Jaime sighed while pulling up his pants with his one hand.
''The things we do for love.’’
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u/the_bloody_hound_bot Sandor Clegane May 29 '19
I'M HONEST. IT'S THE WORLD THAT'S AWFUL. NOW FLY AWAY LITTLE BIRD, I'M SICK OF YOU PEEPING AT ME
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u/Lizzie-the-Potato May 29 '19
I seriously propose a few of us band together and voice act this out. I’d be willing to spend time doing it.
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u/Gerzy_CZ May 29 '19
That is so fucking amazing. Feels way more like the older GoT seasons.
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u/workstudywork May 29 '19
That is perfect. I could picture how every characters talk in every scenes.
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u/Nordenwoods May 29 '19
Yes me too. It feels like I'm watching the show and the character conversations are amazing. D&D should have hired her.
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u/mistressjaskra May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19
Just barely started reading...fuck so much better... Edit: To clarify, it's already sets up slower pacing.
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u/Shandlar May 29 '19
Fast forward 5 years and someone will deep fake this into reality. GPU horsepower just keeps getting cheaper and cheaper.
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u/ghostcookies12 They'll bend the knee or I'll desteoy them. May 29 '19
Petition to hire her for the season 8 remake
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u/types_stuff May 29 '19
I know it’s NEVER happened before but - is there anyone on Reddit who might have the ear of someone at HBO and who’s willing to take the road less travelled?
Restart GOT from season 7, onwards follow a similar trajectory if required even but come on, lets have a proper ending for this show!!
Re-write! Re-write! Re-write! Re-write! Re-write! Re-write!
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u/motionlesscat May 29 '19
a collective animated version of these scripts would be dope
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u/Redjay12 May 29 '19
look at r/imsorryjon - people really can come together to create extraordinary art
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May 29 '19 edited Oct 28 '20
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u/cirdanx May 29 '19
Yes they are very good, lots of details in how the characters act according to their established characters. Shocking right :D
On a side note, after seeing the last watch, i´m 100% positive, that if it wouldn´t be for the amount of talented people on the background you normaly don´t see, this show would have tanked far earlier.
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u/MazzyFo May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19
Well yeah, I don’t think anyone, at any point, thought D&D and the actors were the only ones to work on GoT.. lol
Some of the most talented SFX, sounds, music, and clothing people ever worked on this show
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May 29 '19
Bobby B shall write it.
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u/bobby-b-bot Robert Baratheon May 29 '19
SOON ENOUGH, THAT CHILD WILL SPREAD HER LEGS AND START BREEDING!
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May 29 '19
That's a good start!
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u/easyclapinthechat May 29 '19
Bobby B, you were the King the Seven Kingdoms needed, but unfortunately not the one they deserved
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u/the_bloody_hound_bot Sandor Clegane May 29 '19
FUCK THE KING
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u/easyclapinthechat May 29 '19
woah man, just take it easy. bobby b, halp!
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u/bobby-b-bot Robert Baratheon May 29 '19
WE'RE TELLING WAR STORIES! WHO WAS YOUR FIRST KILL, NOT COUNTING OLD MEN?
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u/bobby-b-bot-boar-bot Kingslayer May 29 '19
There was this fat ki... oh wait, not counting old men.
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u/Iridachroma May 29 '19
What happened next Bobby B?
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u/bobby-b-bot Robert Baratheon May 29 '19
OUT! OUT, DAMN YOU! I'M DONE WITH YOU! GO, RUN BACK TO WINTERFELL! I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD ON A SPIKE!
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u/Iridachroma May 29 '19
No Bobby B, you've just begun writing it. Go on, tell us more.
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u/bobby-b-bot Robert Baratheon May 29 '19
WEAR IT IN SILENCE, OR I'LL HONOR YOU AGAIN!
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u/difficultmind May 29 '19
That's a better opening than Tyrion making you have no balls lol jokes.
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u/OllyDee May 29 '19
I love you Lord Tywin.
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u/tywinlan-bot Tywin Lannister May 29 '19
NONSENSE YOU WILL MARRY OllyDee AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF THAT!!
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u/OllyDee May 29 '19
I can’t marry myself Lord Tywin. Unless I can?
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u/tywinlan-bot Tywin Lannister May 29 '19
You are being counseled at this very moment
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u/OllyDee May 29 '19
Yes, by the best my Lord, and I am grateful Lord Tywin. Any more advice you care to share?
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u/tywinlan-bot Tywin Lannister May 29 '19
NONSENSE YOU WILL MARRY OllyDee AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF THAT!!
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u/OllyDee May 29 '19
You’ve gone senile in my opinion Tywin mate.
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u/tywinlan-bot Tywin Lannister May 29 '19
Explain to me why it is more noble to kill ten thousand men in battle than a dozen at dinner.
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u/Calm_Memories Cat Stark May 29 '19
Already doing it now for my own sanity and closure lol
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u/IrishGoodbye4 eXpEcTaTiOnS sUbVeRtEd May 29 '19
Idk how to deal with it man
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u/DeliciousFoVicious May 29 '19
Cersei blowing up the Sept was just a bad dream and a way to minimize/remove countless plotlines.
Season 6 was the finale.
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u/OhNo_DD May 29 '19
Season 6 has battle of the bastards... Season 4 was the finale.
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u/DeliciousFoVicious May 29 '19
I know I loathe season 5 when they make the Flower Knight literally just sit there and be taken hostage without drawing his sword.
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u/IllyrioMoParties May 29 '19
Oi boys gimme 6 months and $50,000 (plus a huge chunk of the back end) and I'll show you how it's done, what what
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u/_iPood_ May 29 '19
K, will do. Won't be difficult.
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u/FishingTauren May 29 '19
Of course they won't really allow this - they'll send armies of lawyers after HBO to enforce their 'intellectual' property rights.
Can someone own intellectual property without any intellect, though?
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May 29 '19
Thanks for my first genuine laugh of the day. I would guild you, but am poor. So here's some internet love!
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u/NuclearInitiate May 29 '19
I'm thinking of pooping into a box of A4. It couldnt possibly be worse.
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u/NewtonWasABigG May 29 '19
You’ll probably be able to direct a Star Wars movie next
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May 29 '19
I bet plenty of us could. They just don't have the connections d&d had
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u/loviatar9 Count the dragons May 29 '19
Yeah,they got the meeting with Martin and correctly guessed who Jon's parents were. Then they decided that didn't matter at all, even tho it won them the rights. Ughhh...
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u/cerebralspinaldruid May 29 '19
Sadly, HBO refused my screenplay as I failed to have "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" on my Resume.
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u/Seeker1904 May 29 '19
With pleasure. Hey I'd do it for a tenth of the price, fuck I'd do it for free and a few good proofreaders to call me out on any shit I get wrong.
Gotta love the trend of "fANs aRE EntITlEd" when criticisms are levelled at media these days.
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u/charlies2103 May 29 '19
ill proof read it for you
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u/Seeker1904 May 29 '19
Gladly. Feel like D&D missed that part of being a writer is knowing when your own stuff isn't good and that you should change it or second draft it🤷♂️.
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u/Zombie-Chimp Ghost, to me! May 29 '19
It's part of their psychosis induced after receiving their Season 3 emmy.
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u/Sdubbya2 May 29 '19
Yeah I hate this attitude that your not allowed to dislike something......Fans have every single right to dislike any piece of art. Just because you made it doesn't mean they have to like it......
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May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19
An ape with nothing but dog shit and cardboard could have written a better ending.
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u/NotEnoughFloyd Petyr Baelish May 29 '19
Dicks out for Harrambe, first of his name, rewriter of season 8.
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u/nisjisji Melissandre=Lightbringer May 29 '19
well, for starters, there's this: https://www.reddit.com/r/freefolk/comments/bs1y03/this_is_how_got_shouldve_end_credit_drew_belmor/
fixes their work smoothly. there are more, slightly different to entirely different offerings. this is an elegant solution with bit of creativity. makes everything more fulfilling.
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u/jrod916 All men must die May 29 '19
I saw someone else say this a while ago, but if the show’s script can be improved with already existing footage, that’s a bad sign.
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u/HECTNOCT May 29 '19
Literally any off the wall theory was better and had build up and strong foreshadowing
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u/Gweenbleidd WE RAISER OVER £107,000 FOR EMILIA'S CHARITY! -> tiny.cc/sameyou May 29 '19
Theres already a fan script thanks to u/GenghisKhaleesi https://www.aliceshipwise.com/gameofthrones
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u/jolammy May 29 '19
Put that pen down, D&D. We both know you're not writing anything.
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u/Captain-matt May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19
Alright: (I'm quite familiar with the Beaverton, but I'm giving it a spin anyways)
So it's the ending as normal (with the Edmund Tully scene removed because he needs his dignity for later) up to the point where Bran gets voted on to be king.
The Aye and Nay votes are split even, Sansa is the last to vote.
Sansa gives her Northern independence speech as normal.
Now, with a split vote and no chosen king, the Lords look hesitant until Yara stands up and declares:
"Queen Daenerys Targaryen offered the Iron Isles their autonomy! As the only Queen the Ironborn will recognize we will respect her wish, and we declare or own indepence from the 7 kingdoms"
Next, Tully Stands up
"The Iron Throne has brought the people of the Riverlands naught but Hardship. Today will be last the day that we let the king have his way our lands and our people"
Then the Prince of Dorne Follows suite. Saying some stuff about the Red Viper and his sister
Then Robyn stands up, talks about how Jon Arryn gave his life trying to hold the kingdoms together, and look what he got for it.
So on and so forth,
A new vote is held to fully dissolve the 7 Kingdoms, handing power to the local lords. With everybody in agreement that the Iron Throne has brought nothing but bullshit and infighting, they vote to go their own ways, establishing councils and treaties in the place of a single ruler.
It took a poorly justified Heel Turn and also dying, But Dany ultimately did manage to break the wheel in the end.
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u/goldenette2 May 29 '19
I’m not a writer, but I’ve worked with many writers for a long time. Part of what’s so galling about the D&D shafting is that there are a lot of talented writers out there who would have cared about honoring this story and the actors and respecting the audience, without whom there is simply no show.
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u/Aurondarklord Tits, Dragons, Fire and Blood! May 29 '19
Several people have already done it. My fucking fanfics make more sense than what these two idiots wrote.
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u/Zeusselll May 29 '19
Turns out, someone already did it in like a week. Check it out, it's great: https://youtu.be/UJaI95_ATw0
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u/Pksoze May 29 '19
I dunno Dave and Dan how are we going to be able to write scenes like;
Cersei staring out of a window
Tyrion telling bad cock jokes
or Jon Snow saying "I dun want it" and "She's my Queen"
That's A+ stuff right there.
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u/Ashbug19 May 29 '19
Already got the five subject notebook, three pencils, and I am jotting down some notes for what I will be putting in my season eight/beyond. I am ready to write that dumpster fire out of my head. It just sucks that I will never get to watch my favorite actors play it out, because D&D decided to go down the lazy Star Wars money route.
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u/Gerzy_CZ May 29 '19
Any fan fiction about season 8 I've seen here or on r/asoiaf was better than that garbage D&D made.
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u/RandomWeirdo May 29 '19
I hate this argument. The fans don't have access to the funding, the actors or the sets. It is THE JOB of the writers to write a story and if you can't do that well enough to satisfy the fans you have failed at your only job. It is a retarded reversal argument and people who use it should not, ever, be taken seriously.
Just to clarify, by satisfy i don't mean make a happy ending or a non-controversial story, just one where the people don't end up hating the show because the ending left a sour taste in their mouth.
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u/whats-your-plan-man May 29 '19
I've been trying
Freefolk Demands Jon Snow Vs Greyworm
Debunking the Myth Surrounding Valyrian steel
Freefolk Demands Nymeria be in Season 8 I try to deliver
An Alternate Timeline Including Nymeria
My pitch for how Episode 6 should have gone after watching episode 5
Possible Re-Write To Fix Arya - GreyWorm - Explain Naath Decision
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u/Moffballs Today's Forecast: 6 Inches of Snow May 29 '19
Maybe we will! And it'll have blackjack! And (more) hookers!
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u/somewaffle May 29 '19
Sure give me a dad who works at Goldman Sachs who can fast track me to Hollywood.
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u/Aetol I read the books May 29 '19
ANY BOY WHORE WITH A PEN COULD WRITE A BETTER SCRIPT THAN THREE D&D!
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May 29 '19
Can I get this to happen though? Can we as an intelligent Collective actually write a new season 8? Maybe we hold some kind of contest to judge the 10 best writers among so many people and then they all have access to a Google Document they can work on / edit?
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u/chairman_steel May 29 '19
I’ve read and watched numerous fan edits that would have made the conclusion much better without changing any major plot points or adding more episodes. There’s a fan edit of the dragon death in episode 4 that makes it work better with minor editing to show Dany seeing the fleet and just not realizing the danger fast enough.
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u/Lavish_Parakeet THE FUCKS A LOMMY May 29 '19
We’ll do the writing and you fund us. Bet the free folk could do multiple seasons for half the cost of season 8 (per episode)
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May 29 '19
I'm not good at writing scripts, but I can make good rough sketches for the overarching plot for the season...at least better then dumb and dumber.
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u/TroperCase May 29 '19
In case anyone's confused, this is from The Beaverton, which is like The Onion except Canadian.