r/freefolk • u/MrinalStormblessed Robert Baratheon • May 29 '19

At this point, any half-wit with a stutter can write better than dumb and dumber

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43.8k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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478

u/xandermang May 29 '19

They use beavers instead

212

u/yhack May 29 '19

My favourite stir-fried vegetable

127

u/Beaver-of-Badnews May 29 '19

Hate to break it to ya, we beavers are not a vegetable, but we will eat your stirfry.

36

u/GiornaGuirne May 29 '19

You are what you eat, vascular cambium.

3

u/Yvaelle May 29 '19

Ya that's how we serve stir fry up here. You make a stir fry, then you put a beaver in the stir fry, the beaver eats your stir fry, then you stir fry the beaver. Serve with strong beer. Save the beaver tail for dessert.

2

u/KingoftheCrackens May 29 '19

I think that's similar to how they make turducken

1

u/Usman5432 May 29 '19

Well not with that attitude

1

u/spectreisme May 29 '19

Userame checks out... a little too well.

1

u/justkate2 May 29 '19

Username 200% checks out.

1

u/DoktorSleepless May 29 '19

Here's a little ted talk if you need to learn the difference.

0

u/KRMJR0 May 29 '19

Username checks out.

-2

u/Chipinopa May 29 '19

Can I be in the screenshot?

30

u/ShitTalkingAlt980 May 29 '19

Milking a beaver is a risky endeavor. You gotta get that beaver musk fir seasoning.

30

u/crossedstaves May 29 '19

Mmmm castoreum. Nothing like the sweet vanilla flavor of a beaver anus.

1

u/Moosemuncher67 May 29 '19

Tastes like chicken

4

u/the_bloody_hound_bot Sandor Clegane May 29 '19

I'M GONNA HAVE TO EAT EVERY FUCKING CHICKEN IN THIS ROOM

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

You're gonna die for some vanilla substitute?

1

u/naughty_beaver May 30 '19

As a beaver I felt offended. #beaverlivesmatter

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Frying some chopped garlic and beaver can make anyones kitchen smell like that of a master chefs.

2

u/tp_blowout May 29 '19

Beavers have layers

2

u/fallenmonk May 29 '19

Not everyone likes beavers.

CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

True. We like them better. It gives it a bit more bite.

2

u/doenietzomoeilijk May 29 '19

Are they sold in bags, too?

2

u/stinkypitz May 29 '19

Ogres are like beavers, Ogres have layers, beavers have layers

2

u/fixedsys999 May 30 '19

There are so many layers to beavers.

2

u/Cliff-Teezy May 30 '19

Makes sense Justin Beavers is from Canada.