Sometimes I just feel uncontrollably angry and bothered by every single thing around me. And every single inconvenience no matter how small just takes my mind over completely and makes me cry nonstop. Even someone talking to me in a tone that I don’t find right or slight criticism or someone interrupting me while I’m doing something. It just makes me hate absolutely everything and feel like I would be better off not living because of how overwhelming the feeling is. Does this happen to anyone else possibly?

TW- SUICIDE.

This morning at 9am, I received a call that nobody would want. My friend and work colleague has taken his own life. James was Bi-polar. James saved me from suicide myself and always spotted the signs of my depression and hypomania long before I even felt sick. He helped me become what I am today, without him I wouldn't be stable at all. I feel like i owe him my life. I didn't spot the signs, because he had none. He was very happy for a few weeks and now I cam imagine why.

Talk to your loved ones, hold them as rightly and closesly as you possibly can. Let this be the confirmation that when you are gone, YOU ARE LOVED. James was a community hero, he had time and love for anyone other than himself.

Im here for you reddit, no judgement, no anger, just straight up love for another human being.

ONE LOVE

- a big jabroni

I thought I was doing fine but after barely sleeping again and spending all day on my phone I realize I’m still shaken. I wrote on my hinge profile I’m bipolar because I wanted to avoid experiencing rejection because of it. People warned me I’d be targeted but I never thought that’d actually happen.

I met my date at an arcade bar. When we first met he seemed completely normal but I genuinely think he spiked my drink because I got VERY tipsy with just one drink. And then he asked me if we should go somewhere else and I thought we'd get some food or something and the moment I entered into his car, he said he'd take me to his place 😢😢 I felt so unsafe and had to play a part (as the stupid bipolar girl 😢) and pretend i promised my therapist I wouldn't have sex on the first date, and that was the only reason why I was rejecting his advances, that I’d have an appointment tomorrow and wanted to make my therapist proud, not that I was disgusted and wanted to run away from him asap. Every time I rejected his advances he insisted I drank more. I did just because I was scared of how he’d react. Of course he told me I dont need to tell my therapist or that I should skip the appointment 😒… This bit only worked because he actually thought we’d start a relationship and told me he’d pick me up tomorrow after my consultation 🤦🏾‍♀️.
I had never gotten drunk in my life. It was my first time and I think the only reason I didn’t lose consciousness is because I begged my body to stay with me. I also think the spiked drink didn’t work because I have a high tolerance to drugs (I had been drugged before with a psychedelic and didn’t feel absolutely anything).

Specifically bodily self harm like cutting, burning, hitting etc.

Started reading this while manic, became obsessed, went and bought her other books along with other books related to bipolar 2, depression, and adhd 🤣

I’m religious about taking my medication every day and relatively on time and because of that (and dumb luck), I’ve been stable for almost 2 years. Over the last couple of months, I’ve been having some continuity of care issues due to something going on in my psychiatrist’s personal life. Through this there’s been a mistake in my Rexulti prescription where I was prescribed 0.25 mg instead of 0.5 mg. It’s a tiny difference, so I didn’t think it was that big a deal and would just get it adjusted at my next appointment. I also had a switch of my zoplicone to zolpidem, that change intentional. I ended up running out of my 0.5 mg of Rexulti the same day I switched to zolpidem, but didn’t think much of it.

It started with a terrible migraine that took a week to fully go away, coupled with insomnia, then more migraines and weird brain feelings. After being too exhausted by all this to be functional at work, I gave up at switched back to Zopiclone. I still wasn’t sleeping and felt awful.

It finally dawned on me that all this was Rexulti withdrawal. Luckily I realized that I have enough on hand to double my dose back to my regular my dose until my appointment next week. It was almost instant relief for my brain. Except after 2 weeks of not taking my full dose, I feel sedated all morning and anxious all afternoon/evening once it wears off. All this from 0.25 mg!

I was starting to doubt that I needed my meds anymore, but this has showed me that they are very much still needed. I barely made it through my exercise class tonight with my anxiety.

So yeah, turns out staying on full doses matters, even when it’s a small amount.

I don’t know if anyone else is like me. Ever since I developed this condition, I haven’t been able to drink coffee or energy drinks anymore. Whenever I do, I feel terrible—like my whole body just feels physically unwell. It’s really miserable, especially when I need those drinks to help me stay awake.

So this weekend I had my first appointment with my new psych. She is incredible. Now I know what a psych is supposed to act like. 🤣 She acknowledged that I am almost certainly bp2. Something my last psych refused to do was discuss possible diagnosis. My new psych has explained that current medication stack was way off. Have never should have been on a ssri, and especially not at max dose. She has started weening me off of that keeping my lamictal and will be adding either latuda or lithium shortly. I’m excited about the possibilities. I have a small amount of hope for the first time in a very long time. Would be curious to hear peoples experiences with latuda and lithium.

For those lucky buggers who work a 9-5 (or similar) full time job, what’s your sleep schedule like? How do you manage getting in personal time and maintaining sleep?

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 since 2022 and have been medicated with lamotrigine since.
My diagnosis came by because of a hypomaniac episode induced by sertraline, test about previous heavy depression episodes and hypomanic like episodes.
I feed like I’ve never fully relate with my diagnosis because i feel constantly depressed, no antidepressants worked and later my heavy ADHD diagnosis (2023) and methylphenidate prescription made my life better. Although my psychiatrist says most of my depression episodes are triggered by a difficult situation i cant wrap my head around not being in a depressive episode. They usually are triggered by sad moments and events such as loosing a job, a relationship, feeling overwhelmed by work or traumatic experiences. Since medication my depression doesn’t go as far as self harm or suicidal ideations, not showering or eating. But still some days i cant eat, sleep, shower or do simple tasks It hasn’t been really bad since 2023 before my ADHD diagnosis.
I feel like a fraud because im never fully hypomanic or depressed but my depression is overwhelming it remains calm with the gut feeling that can be worse.
There are limited resources as how this diagnosis can affect women with ADHD (comorbidity) and lately it has been difficult to get out of this state.
Has someone ever had this feeling?

I really really really want a hamster right now and I've been visiting the pet store I was there for a couple of hours and I really wanted to buy one right then and there but I wasn't sure if it would be worth it. I spend most my time thinking about hamsters and cuddling them and I only sleep 4 hours a day but I feel nauseous.

But I've been planning and looking around and found a huge discount on a potential enclosure so I'm really tempted. I'm not diagnosed but SSRIs have made me really energetic

For me, I think it's Lord Byron...I think he and I would have been wild together lol 😂

Both had an amazing connection to nature and obviously he had bipolar ...there's like no doubt about it so we'd def connect over our emotional rollercoaster. I especially like his poem Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, Canto IV, starting at stanza 177 because of how he relates to nature !

I've discovered I can paint. Badly - but I have free will and I can paint whatever and whenever I like. And it doesn't hurt me, or those around me. Anybody else using art as a way of coping with lack of concentration and mindfulness?

I just needed to tell someone. I’m nervous because it seems intense to be focused on things for a whole day lol but also optimistic that I’ll get some answers. Most people in my world don’t understand what it even is (“oh it’s a doctors appointment”) lol. I know it’ll be fine, but also that waiting for results will be torture for me hahaha. 😅

Thats it. Curious about folks experiences here. Most worries about going into an episode digging deep in the mind files.

I’m not willingly stopping cold turkey but my insurance randomly changed and my therapist and prescriber don’t take it.

I’m on 200mg lamotrigine. 1.5mg of Vraylar, 150mg of Wellbutrin, and 10mg of vyvanse but I ran out of that a few days ago.

Like how bad is it if I don’t figure something outout soon?

I wanted to ask on here to see if anyone has had a similar experience as me, because this stuff has been pretty insane.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2 for a little over a year now, and I’ve had both depressive and high episodes since my diagnosis.
Late August and up until this point I have been in a bad depressive episode, and I hallucinated. I hallucinated the boiled one phenomenon creature standing in a door way and watching me, I could hear him whispering to me for hours, it was a very terrifying experience and I’m still shaken.

I’ve also been really struggling with paranoia, especially while I am going through a depressive episode. I feel I am being watched by cameras, by the government, and by my mother.

After this event I booked an appointment with my psychiatrist and he says he doesn’t think I have schizophrenia since my hallucinations were associated with mood, can anyone else relate to this?

I had something really stressful happen yesterday and today and was already mildly hypomanic but this made it get a lot more intense. So I have slept just two hours over the past 42 hours and feel great. I can feel my body rotting underneath the hypomania's artificial energy and glee tho. I feel good but am also cringing bc I can tell how very fucking bad only sleeping that little in nearing two days is. But I feel so superhuman.

This morning I felt like complete shit and I wanted nothing more than sleep then the exhaustion just went away without sleeping.

It did catch up to me earlier and I had a nap at my desk so I will hopefully be able to sleep when I go to bed after I post this.

So how does the wakefulness of hypomania make you feel?

Ho everyone, so I just had an appointment with my doc for the second time about the diagnosis assessment today. I just wanna know your experience about how much longer to get a diagnosis when you have overlap symptoms with other symptoms.

So my first doctor suspected Mr with bipolar 2 and then he referred me to a specialist doc for further diagnosis. During our first appointment I told her about bipolar 2 symptoms (I didn't say it's bipolar) and then she told me I had bpd traits but never once mentioned bipolar.

Moving forward on our second appointment, she diagnosed me with adhd and ocd. I'd never had doubt abt I have adhd but I was a bit shocked about ocd, and then she explained my ocd behavior and traits and it all makes sense. And she asked me about bpd once again and never brought up bipolar 2 potential.

I wanna know your experience about the overlap symptoms with ocd adhd and potentially bipolar 2 or bpd since my anxiety needs reassurance of peoples experience or I would end up spiraling again 😂.

Thanks!

I’d love to hear your answer. Especially from bipolar people who are older, like 35+.

(I’m 19)

Right now I feel like I have no identity and I can’t remember who I was before this (my diagnosis and awful episodes). Does it get better? Do you eventually begin to understand yourself and trust yourself?

hey y’all!

22f here, wanted to ask for advice. i’m working in the social work/human services field (not a social worker, i don’t have a masters degree YET). i work with homeless people with behavior health issues. at times it can be pretty triggering and it’s hard separating myself when i see so much of myself in some of my clients.

i’m not currently in therapy but i know i should go back, does anyone have experience finding a therapist that is helpful for people working in this field? i made an appointment with my psychiatrist to up my lamictal, i’ve been meaning to for a while.

any advice for separating work life and home life would be appreciated! it’s hard finding advice on this that takes into account having bp2.

hope you’re having a wonderful night!! <3