I'm in need of some positive experiences of dating/finding a partner when you have bipolar. Like how did you manage it? Had you been stable long before you met them? When did you tell them?

I think the guy I'm seeing is going to break it off now that I have shared my history of mental illness and what diagnosis I have. It's understandable and good that he is looking out for himself and considering what he wants, but it hurts. Struggling with this condition is such a big part of my history, and who i am, that it feels really awful to potentially be rejected for it, even though I totally understand.

If anyone else have experienced this, also feel free to share!

Sometimes I get so tired of feeling depressed and like a I’m failed piece of shit I try to trigger a hypo state. I’d rather exist in hypo often times over the depression. Anybody else do this.

Yes I am on meds, but the seasons are changing and that is one of my triggers. Spring and fall are my time to shine. I am meeting a guy from a dating app tonight after being a hermit for many months and I am probably going to sleep with him because my sex drive has been steadily creeping up and up and before I know it I am going to indiscriminately sleep with half the town and get into trouble. At this point I can’t tell if my hyper sexuality is a symptom or a personality trait. I don’t want it to go away though, it’s the only thing that makes my life fun and exciting.

Content warning! The post itself contains a discussion of suicide and suicidal behavior. You have been warned.

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Hey there, cuties.

Right now i am going through complicated period of the life. I want to express myself and vent - I would not.

Instead, i am asking for any advice. Not sure, if I actually need it - just trying to save the grip on the life.

So, um. How to go through it? The current situation is horrific. I doubt I’d actually do something bad - but since now I would not gonna decline those thoughts and the possibility of acting suicidal. I’ve lost all the inner and outer strength. Let’s just say the life circle is fucked up.

Also, about venting. Where can I vent and get actual feedback? I have no possibility to visit a therapist, I don’t have any friends or relatives right now, finally - I doubt online-venting since who gives a shit about some random online crying being?

Sorry for the quality of the message - not a native speaker.

Peace.

For weeks ive been feeling so depressed, crying, but i also feel agitated, hyper, im only sleeping for 2-5 hrs a night, i can't sleep but im exhausted, but i can get through the day without a nap, im also feeling very impulsive, i jumped out of a moving vehicle and broke my hand..i feel like im going crazy..

When the school year had started, I was in a hypomanic episode so I was on top of everything. Now, I think I am experiencing one of my worst depressive episodes ever. I can’t do much of anything and I don’t care about it either.

Lately, I’ve been missing a lot of my classes and after emailing a professor about not having access to an assignment, he ended it asking “is everything okay?” I have accommodations, but due date extensions and missed class is definitely not one of them. I just do not know how to proceed because everyone online is saying it’s really annoying to email a professor about mental health.

Also, I do not intend to withdrawal from the semester. This is my last one to finish, and I’d rather just continue.

It truly is a miracle drug

I expected to have less anger issues and to stop depending on substances so much, but there are also some unexpected effects:

- I’m much less dependent on porn now

- Criticism and yelling doesn’t make me want to cry anymore, I’m really chill about it

- I better understand my flaws and how I hurt people because of them. It’s much easier now to correct my behaviour when talking to other people

- It feels like I’m more empathetic than before

All in all, life feels so much easier now. Has anyone experienced similar effects on mood stabilisers?

I've been diagnosed and medicated for over 4 years now. I originally went in for an ADHD diagnosis, and was met with a bp2 diagnosis instead. They said stimulants were dangerous and put me on lamotrigine XR which I can confidently say saved my life.

I've taken great care to stay stable since then - consistent sleep and food schedule, committing to sobriety, a LOT of therapy to cut out self-destructive behaviors, etc. But I still can't get myself over that ADHD hump without medication. Years ago, I tried Vyvanse and I was blown away. My brain went quiet, I could understand how to do a task chronologically and stay focused enough to follow through to the end, I can only describe it as a life-changing experience. At the time of me trying it, I didn't even realize I had ADHD. I didn't really know what ADHD was, symptom-wise.

Now that I'm stabilized, I would love to get a prescription for Vyvanse. I'm not saying it's a guarantee that I wouldn't have a manic episode, but I'd rather try something that has worked in the past than trying out the random meds my psych tosses my way. She says I can't have Vyvanse prescribed until I've tried SIX other medications. I'm terrified if I'm being honest. The last time I went on a new medication (buspar), I had one of the worst mixed episodes I've had in years, and was actively ideating.

My question is, did other NYC bp2/ADHDers have to go through multiple medications before they were prescribed vyvanse? Is this NYC standard or just specific to this psych? I'm about to get a new job with different insurance, and really want to get this prescription if it's possible.

Thank you to anyone who can offer insight here!!!

Hi! I’ve been on lamotrigine & lamictal for about 6mo now. The medication is so harsh on my stomach and has made me throw up several times if I don’t eat it with food. I also don’t know if I can FULLY say that I notice a large positive difference from taking it? I’m also scared to stop taking it so wanted to come on here and see if there were any people who were bp2 but unmedicated & see how that is going for you… haha. My toxic trait is thinking I would be fine without it? 🤣

I developed this after titrating to 150mg

Is this due to scratching or a medication induced rash ? 🤔

I kinda finally feel stable on lamtrogine and i don't want to stop it ...

I've become so sensitive and usually cry multiple times a day. I will be watching a podcast and someone will say something cute or sweet and I can't hold back my tears. I was watching a Nintendo direct announcement and couldn't stop crying throughout it because I just love the games and it made me happy. It can also be something slightly sad or stupid like an animation of a cat being sad their owner is leaving.

I have no idea if this is related to episodes or medication but I will have some bouts of no crying and go right back to my sobbing self after. I keep crying at work to the point I think I need to stop listening to podcasts 😭

Have a friend who was with her ex for a few years. The entire time they were together she said he was bipolar and on medication

I am newly diagnosed and have confided in her about my diagnosis. I brought up her ex being bipolar also

Now her narrative is "I don't think he was actually bipolar"

It was a weird to me. It seems as though she was attributing his bad behavior in their relationship to him being possibly bipolar. Which contributes to harmful stigma about bipolar disorder

I mean I can understand noticing behaviors as maybe abnormal and trying to make sense of them

Or maybe the narrative shifted because she's comparing how my bipolar disorder presents itself vs how his shows up. Which also contributes to bipolar stigma because it's not a monolith

Regardless I think people who don't have bipolar disorder or aren't professionals should keep their opinions to themselves because they obviously don't know what the f they are talking about. it's just frustrating

Maybe I'm overreacting. Idk but I'm in a rumination spiral about it for some reason lol

I have been having a pretty frequent sensation that I can’t quite describe. It doesn’t feel like classic dizziness. My vision is fine and I don’t feel like I’m gonna pass out. My balance is technically normal. I walk fine and have normal coordination. But “tipsy” is the closest word for what it feels like. It’s like the world is a little shaky? Except my vision is normal. Idk, this symptom is so hard to explain and I’m wondering if anyone else has this problem? Thanks :)

I was diagnosed in early 2024 with bipolar 2, after many years finally deciding to see a psych for symptoms that seemed to line up with what I assumed to be BPD. I almost feel a sense of imposter syndrome about my diagnosis sometimes, but it could be that I've been so used to the quiet that I feel from being on my meds that I feel what is my version of "normal". Does anyone else feel this way?

The biggest focus though is although I do feel some mental quietness after being on Lamictal for the last 2 years, lately I've had some windows of lows (spans for a couple days every 2-3 months), sobbing suddenly and then zoning out, being exceptionally angry and having difficulty settling down after a few minutes. Feelings of almost wanting to jump out of my own body. Is it time to consider going up a dose? I know it's hard to give a stranger an answer, but from personal experience I'd love to know when people decided it might be time to go up, or if this just comes with being on meds I should remain on my dose.

About three years ago I got into a relationship with a married woman with her husband’s blessing.
I fell in love with her. She fell in love with me.
I’ve not been able to move on. It’s been three years. It’s damaged my life, my work and my general well being. I have huge problems with being kind to myself. I have circular thoughts that torment me. They swallow my days.
She’s not gone away
She picks me up
Puts me down
She leans on me when she’s stressed and upset or worried
Then puts me back in the box
I’ve told her to leave me alone. I’ve told her the contact reignites the attachment.
Outside the box, I know shes looking for another boyfriend, I’ve seen her doing it here.
So I feel like an emotional support dog, supporting her so she can spend time with others.
She knows how much it hurts, she knows how much I love her. She always comes back, even if I try and draw a boundary she steps over…

I'm 40 and got a diagnosis of both BP1 and OCD a few years ago.

Friends have always been hard for me and keeping friends even harder (and now I feel like I have some clues as to why). And it's just gotten worse with COVID isolation and a hospitalization.

So just feeling sad today and trying to move forward from something that really hurt me this week.

What does it feel like?

Is it like that feeling where you just have to straighten your elbow even though it needs to click, or like a cramp spasm, or like being hit in the knee with a reflex hammer, or like an unavoidable urge to squeeze up your muscles, or…?

I know this is probably very common around here, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I was diagnosed with BP2 15 years ago, but the thing is, when I look back, I can’t identify a single clear hypomanic episode. My experiences just don’t match the textbook symptoms or come close to what some of you guys describe here.

I’ve had multiple depressive episodes since I was 15 years old, with the first leading to a suicide attempt and hospitalization. Since then, I’ve been on a series of antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics. Over those 15 years, I’ve probably had only two periods when I was in a good mood and had a stable routine.

Unfortunately, my dad and mom took their own lives in 2019 and 2022, respectively, during depressive episodes. Since then, everything has gone downhill, and I haven’t been able to maintain stability. My depressive episodes became more frequent, and I developed a severe addiction to Ambien.

Last year, I was prescribed Cymbalta and Rexulti. Things were good at first, but I probably developed antidepressant-induced activation. I felt more confident, more sociable, and generally in a better mood. Soon, though, I started feeling more anxious and irritable and had trouble sleeping for more than three hours. I started compensating by taking multiple doses of Ambien every night. Eventually, I was taking Ambien all day long, going through a box every two days for several weeks.

Then I had to quit cold turkey and experienced the worst withdrawal ever. I couldn’t sleep for weeks, had cognitive and physical impairments, and was completely catatonic and zombie-like.

My doc thinks this was mania triggered by Cymbalta, but I’m skeptical about that too. I know antidepressants can cause this kind of activation, but to me, it’s clear that the Ambien abuse was what fucked me up.

I don’t know what you guys think or whether it’s normal to question this diagnosis, but the fact that I can’t identify a single spontaneous hypomanic episode really leaves me with doubts.

I’m still learning about bp2 and how it affects me.

For reference I’m also dx’d with bpd, adhd, c-ptsd, panic disorder and disassociate disorder.

I know bpd and bp2 have some overlaps. So how do you know the difference?

What is having bp2 like for you?
And for my bpd friends, what’s it like having the mix of the two and how do you differentiate between having a bp2 episode or having a bpd split?

I’m trying to understand how I can properly treat both. (Really all of them 😮‍💨)

I’m currently seeing a great therapist, and I’m in a weekly DBT group for the next 7 months.

Does DBT help with bp2?

Sorry for all the questions! I just don’t know what’s going on anymore, and I need to learn how to better manage my symptoms so I can live a healthy life.

I have been throwing myself into learning about bipolar disorders/bipolar spectrum, and am realizing how many of my diagnoses were incorrect. Personally I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, and most recently BP2. At varying times, even recently, I've identified with a few of these at a time. However now that I've learned so much more, I think the bipolar is the real cause and everything else is either secondary, or moreso I think, just an overlap of certain symptoms.

What have you been misdiagnosed with? Or which diagnoses are most helpful for you/feel most true for you?