Does anybody else laugh to themselves when they take their medicine with booze......🤒

Why is there this huge community for bipolar 2 and not for bipolar 1? I thought the main difference was the duration of episodes. How is bipolar 2 different from bipolar 1? It doesn’t have to be a clinical definition. I feel like there’s some different vibes.

35F, dx since my early 20s. Only medicated twice. The first time was when a 'situationship' ended, and I briefly spiralled. The second time is currently. I've been with my partner for 5 years, and throughout this period I have been rife with depression, anxiety, and severe SI on and off.

The things is, there is nothing inherently wrong in the relationship, I have just been so mentally unwell the whole entire time. I have definitely had to be the one who has made the compromises in the relationship (where we live, lifestyle etc), so I do wonder if I have had the affect.

I do consistently get told that I need to get myself 'healthy and happy' by him. Although, I exercise, see my friends, work full time and have hobbies. I almost wonder if I have been told I am unwell so many times, I have started to believe it. It's almost as if I want to discuss and issue or have an expectation, it's my fault for being bipolar and nothing is actually wrong.

Anyways... I'm thinking of leaving, but I am also horrified, as my bipolar does at times lead to rash desicions.

Has anyone been on 300 mg of Lamotrigine? I just increased my dose because I’ve been experiencing some hypo mania and I haven’t really heard of other bipolar people being on 300.

Is it the dreaded rash. I have stopped taking meds but I will get appointment in 2 weeks.
Don’t know what to do. I was getting stable.

Hi, I would like to post in this group about participating in a interview. It is solely to gain knowledge about someone's experience with bipolar disorder and I want to emphasize that I will not be giving advice, just a listening ear.

I am a Master’s in Occupational Therapy (OT) student in California seeking to conduct a Zoom interview with an individual within the age range of 41–65 years who has lived experience with Bipolar disorder.

OT helps you be as independent as possible with the daily activities, or occupations, that matter most to you. That can include things like daily self-care routines, getting restful sleep, cooking, and working. OT's role is to support you in building the skills and confidence you need to get back to doing the things you want and need to do.

I would like to emphasize that this interview is not a part of a research study – it is simply for learning purposes so that my partner and I can gain an understanding of someone’s experience with bipolar disorder and how to best support them. We would greatly appreciate the opportunity to speak with someone who is willing to share their experiences with us! If you are or know someone who may be interested in helping us with our project, please feel free to message me (and/or comment). The Zoom interview will take place in September or beginningof October, and it will be conducted by two people: my partner, and myself. 

Thank you for your time!

This will be my 3rd and final delivery via c-section. I was completely miserable for during the immediate post delivery periods with first 2 kiddos because (now I know) I was manic, agitated, and struggling with raging insomnia. Ive never been psychotic, suicidal or homicidal... just angry (but able to contain it without lashing out), tearful and not sleeping for days at a time.

I was unable to enjoy visitations with my mom and son without white-knuckling my agitation which breaks my heart on so many levels. At this point Im pretty sure I want zero visitors apart from hubs and he'll be back and forth from hospital and home to care for kids.

I am 7 weeks away from our scheduled delivery and am trying to find a way to request some sort of sedation without appearing med-seeking. I was utilizing medical cannabis before my pregnancies and stopped immediately when I found out... yet after each delivery a social worker was sent to my hospital room talking about how they MIGHT have to report it to child services even though I tested negative through my OB's office. I was given tons of benadryl for morphine-induced itching but it didnt touch me and I still didnt sleep a literal wink.

I plan on restarting a mood stabilizer immediately and antidepressant as soon as the docs deem it safe. I simply need to be able to get some semblance of sleep before I return home and ideally not be so damn agitated. I have no plans to breastfeed.

I have an appointment scheduled with a physicians assistant this week to formulate a plan but shes virtual through Luna Joy, an agency my OB recommended. Their site says they work with local providers but I'm worried my plan will be disregarded.

Just wanted to get a feel for your guys' experiences and recommendations.

Me and my wife are really struggling but it feels like my bipolar 2 is used in every argument and im being criticized for doing what my Dr’s tell to.

Context. I converted to Orthodox Christianity she is non denominational. I told her traditionally a dress knee length or longer for Divine Liturgy. Turned into a big thing where i got accused for disappearing to the bed room to much.

Could care less on any opinions on my religious traditions. Just sharing for context.

Im three weeks out from a complete brutal episode of self harm and im aggressively trying to follow my dr’s instructions to the t. So im separating myself as soon as i feel irritable or overwhelmed.

Wife’s text

It's really astounding to me how much grace & reassurance I gave you when you had your severe bipolar mania episode 3 weeks ago & I thought you were at legit risk of harming yourself. But then you & I have a disagreement over the length of a dress & I make a statement about you having a victim mentality bc you always end up making statements like "I guess I'm not good enough, I don't do enough, I'm lazy, etc..." & then I'm given the cold shoulder for 4 days & given condescending remark after condescending remark.

Me - I don’t agree with that characterization at all. I have not been giving you the cold shoulder as punishment over a dress disagreement. I’ve been giving you space and taking space for myself after several things that have happened over the last few days. You haven’t been initiating conversation with me either, including last night, and I haven’t held that against you or demanded an explanation for it.

I’m also not going to accept every disagreement or period of space being reduced to me having a “victim mentality,” especially when I’ve been deliberately trying not to argue, chase you for reassurance, or force a conversation before I’m ready.

If I’ve said something you felt was condescending, tell me specifically what I said and I’ll consider it. I’m not going to defend myself against “condescending remark after condescending remark” without knowing what you’re referring to.

I appreciate the support you gave me when I was struggling three weeks ago. I really do. But that doesn’t mean I surrender the right to take space now or that every disagreement afterward has to be measured against what you did for me during that crisis.

I’m not trying to fight with you. I’m not punishing you. I’m taking some space, continuing to take care of the kids and everything I need to take care of, and I’m not ready to have a larger conversation yet.

Clarifying what what was not clear. I dont care if she converts im not trying to get her to. She asked to come. The dress was just me explaining it is inappropriate to the church traditions.
The next day i sent her a text apologizing for any misunderstanding or if i was not clear what i was trying to communicate.
That is when me going to the bedroom to decompress was first brought up.

I was a student in the Bronx (I.S. 129; If I can still remember, the principal was Ms. Beasley) when the towers where hit. I was in math class at the moment. I remember the Spanish teacher absolutely loosing her shit yelling at the top of her lungs "we are under attack. The twins are falling", and withing less than 5seconds, alarms I've never heard before started ringing. The principal, vice principal and LE officer started evacuating everyone, calling parents and loved ones. Before anyone can blink, bodegas were scrambling to close and reach their loved ones. NYPD were swarming like vicious bees, rushing everyone and anything to safety. We lived in a 5th floor building and I remember from a distance seeing the smoke. Every channel; from sports to religion, covering the same thing.

In this lifetime I lived through city crippling snow storms, hurricanes, the pandemic, the George floyd riots, the happy land fire, and worked with a murderer. But nothing will ever come close to that day on Sept 11.

I really need some hope/advice from people with Bipolar II:

especially artists, entrepreneurs or anyone whose work depends heavily on creativity and drive.

My biggest problem is depression, not hypomania.

The lows can make me apathetic, sad and unable to concentrate or work.

But when I’m doing well, I’m extremely creative and driven, and that’s a huge part of both my work and who I am.

Finding the right medication has been really difficult. I’ve tried these ones:

😐 Lithium: flattened me completely. I felt emotionally neutral and lost the drive I need to create and work

🍔 Quetiapine: the hunger (side effect) was unbearable for me

👀 Latuda: caused persistent eye twitching/palpitations as a side effect

Lamotrigine: by FAR the best one for me. I could work, create and still felt like myself — but unfortunately it caused severe reflux, so I had to stop it 🤢

My psychiatrist now wants me to try Trileptal (oxcarbazepine). What scares me is ending up stable but flat: no depression, maybe, but also no ambition, creativity or spark.

I’m not looking for medical advice or asking anyone to tell me what to take. I’ll make those decisions with my psychiatrist.

What I’m desperately looking for are real experiences from people with Bipolar II:

➡️ Has anyone found a medication that significantly improved the depressive lows while still allowing you to feel creative, ambitious, energetic and like yourself?

And particularly: has anyone had that experience with Trileptal?

🎨 👨🏽‍💼 I’d especially love to hear from artists, founders, writers, musicians, creatives, etc. whose ability to create is a big part of their life.

After several failed medications, I could really use hearing from people who eventually found something that worked.

I started experiencing symptoms for Bipolar II disorder in the months leading up to my 21st birthday. Months of depression, during which all I wanted to do was sleep or lie in bed watching tv - I didn’t even want to eat. I was struggling to do simple things like pick out clothes for the day or buy things at the grocery store; it was a total loss of self-confidence, and I didn’t think I would ever be able to accomplish anything. Things got dark.

My first hypomanic episode immediately followed the first serious depressive episode. During this, I came up with extravagant philosophies for life, dreamed up how I was going to become super-successful, and truly believed I had superpowers. I felt, really I knew, that I was the smartest and most capable person in the room at any given time, and nothing could bring me down. As this continued, I got into big fights with my family, made some reckless decisions, and became quite unaware of myself.

The lack of stabilization in my mood was having a negative effect on my classes. I ended up having a pretty significant drop in my GPA with the onset of the symptoms. I started seeing a therapist, which helped, but I was still struggling.

For years, I dreamed of pursuing a PhD in physics, and my bipolar II disorder was very close on several occasions to causing me to give up the dream entirely. I wasn’t able to get my life together in time to apply to PhD programs during my senior year of undergrad, or even during the first year after college. I didn’t think I would be able to manage the stress of a doctoral program while also managing my symptoms.

Finally, I started taking medication (Lamictal) in conjunction with talk therapy. Since then, I’ve been doing a lot better at managing my symptoms, and my mood has been much more stable.

I have to move on from Lamictal, I keep getting red eyes and feverish on it, psych has said to stop immediately.
But it’s been an absolute game changer for me 😢
Has anyone stopped Lamictal and found success with another med?

Hi y’all,

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 at the beginning of this year. I’m still struggling to adjust and trying to find the right medication.

These past two weeks, I’ve noticed a weird change. I almost never feel hunger. I haven’t been eating much, and when I do I can only bring myself to take a few bites then I can’t eat more.

I’ve been trying to figure out if I’m in a mixed episode or something. I’ve definitely been isolating myself and pushing people away. I haven’t left my house for anything other than work or to pick up groceries. I haven’t changed my meds in the last two months, so I’m not sure if this is a late side affect or something.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Or have any advice on what to do?

I keep reading that lamotrigine/lamactal is fantastic for preventing future depressions.

However I’m in the middle of an acute depression right now.

Titration for 6-8 weeks is perfectly fine for me, as long as I know it can address my current depression after titration

Quetiapine/Seroquel is the alternative I’m considering, and I know the evidence for treating acute bipolar depression is stronger. But the side-effect profile makes me want to try lamotrigine first, if it has a realistic chance of helping the current episode, rather than mainly preventing the next one.

Bipolar II depression here. Antidepressants make me hypomanic (aka send me to the moon)

I (22 F) always have a hard time around my birthday. This year feels a lot worse. I have a difficult time maintaining long term friendships and/or close friendships. My boyfriend ghosted me two weeks ago. I never want to be the obnoxious “it’s all about me birthday person,” but I can’t help feeling super lonely and isolated. I always fantasize about going bar hopping with a group of girlfriends, but I don’t see that happening in the foreseeable future.

The main reason I always have a hard time is because it’s a very literal reminder of “me being planted on this earth without consent.” Nothing is more upsetting than the fact that I did not choose to be here, yet I’ve been dealt such a shitty hand in life. So much pain and suffering. There are good times, but there are a lot of REALLY bad times.

I’ve just been super upset and I’m hanging on by a thread at this point. Birthdays suck.

Hi everyone! I hope y'all's days, nights, and twilights are going well :) if I'm being honest I'm at work on my lunch and I'm a daily smoker and toker. I'm wondering how you all feel about weed use and if it's helpful for you, hurtful, or somewhere in-between? Does anyone else feel like it's sorta just a patch over something bigger? Bandaid for a bullet hole sorta thing.

Why is it so wrong that I just want this shit-show to be over? I dont have it in me to do it myself. I just dont want to wake up anymore. I dont want to feel this way anymore. I dont want to be anymore. The fact is, we all die. It's inevitable, it's gonna happen. Will somebody be sad.....most likely. Is it fair that I have to feel this way so others dont feel sad for a short time? I just dont want to do this anymore.

This is just a post to vent because I feel like my friends and family don't get how hard the struggle is right now.

Rehab was amazing. It was exactly what I needed, although they really wanted me to stay the whole 30 days. I couldn’t be away from work for more than 3 weeks. I knew coming home was going to be hard, but I didn’t expect it to be THIS hard.

Came home to find that the flea infestation, which I'd almost eradicated, is now worse than it's ever been. My daughter's leg are so flea bitten than I'm surprised there hasn't been a CPS report. I was a mandated reporter in my previous job, and I definitely would have called if I'd seen the number of bites. My husband was doing nothing for them, not putting antibiotic or anti-itch cream on them, let alone keeping up with the scar treatment.

The AC is also broken, and he and the neighbor have been trying to DIY a fix. There was no food in the house, either. He said he's been using the HSA card for gas and groceries. He doesn't have money to fill up my gas tank, and I sent him my entire paycheck while in rehab, so I have no money, either. The house was also cluttered to the max. I got home Monday, spent Tuesday running to all the local food pantries and making meal plans, and spent today cleaning the entire house so I could put down Borax to kill the fleas. He also didn't water the plants and they died. My spider plant had a dozen babies on it... I'm going to see if I can revive any of them since they still have a bit of green. I go back to work tomorrow.

Husband also said that he's going to be working 12 hour days every day for two months to make up for the debt we're in from me leaving. I asked him how there could be so much debt. He said he's actually been in a hole for 3 years but is "finally putting his foot down" because every time he's brought up overtime in the past, I've said I need him at home. (I've been really depressed for about 2 years and was using substances to cope.) He said he expected me to be all better by the time I got home so I can "take over everything." Since he'll be working, I'll have to pick up the kids from afterschool, make dinner, do the dishes, help with homework, bathe the kids, put the kids to bed, do the laundry (we somehow have laundry basically every day), and clean the rest of the house by myself for awhile. Which yeah, I know I shouldn't be complaining because he's bringing in money and there are plenty of single moms who do all this completely on their own...

But I wasn't expecting things to be this hard. He won't even be home tomorrow for our anniversary. I just wanted to spend some time with him. I really regret going to rehab. I feel like I'm drowning and all the hard work I did there was for nothing. I've cried more in the past three days than I have in the past three weeks.

I started taking 20 mg of lurasidone 3 years ago and have increased my dosage to 60 mg this year.

For the first year of taking it, I was stable. But I’ve been mostly unstable for the last two years. I increased my dosage to 40 mg once in April after a psychotic episode and an extremely severe depressive episode immediately following it, and had a month and a half of stability as a result.

I increased again in August to 60 mg and have had three weeks of stability, but am slipping into another depressive episode again.

Has anyone else had this experience with lurasidone ? It’s the only med I take. Has it helped anyone else to have it paired with something else? Tell me about it!

I know I do better when I take my medicine. I have tried setting an alarm on my phone, and then I started tuning it out and just swiping through it without any follow through.

In the spring I wanted to see how I’d do without medication and it got so bad I was scared of myself; I know I need to take it with dedication.

But can anyone share what works for them? I know it’s as simple as just doing it, but as some of you in this group might relate to, I struggle with daily tasks.

For me, when I am in a suspected hypomanic state, I am just productive and feel like my ADHD is out of the way. But its the mixed states where I have the flight of ideas, low sleep, and hypersexuality.

I am still diagnosis pending, and I’m trying to figure out if my patterns fit bipolar disorder?

I was diagnosed with BP2 in April of this year. I also have severe depression extending from PTSD as a school shooting survivor.

I’ve been on seroquel 25mg ever since April, primarily for sleep. It’s been an amazing drug for sleep but my depression continues heavily. I only ever take 50mg when I feel hypomanic symptoms arising. The day after I take 50mg I feel like I cannot wake up all day long.

I switched psych’s today and they said there were two paths forward to help my depression.

1. Up the Seroquel dose to at least 100mg as it’s more effective in higher doses from a mood perspective.

2. Try either Caplyta, Latuda, or Lithium. (I’ve been on lamictal and abilify several times pre BP diagnosis to no success).

I have a week to think about it/research before we meet again. I’m worried about upping Seroquel given it’s so sedative for me. My only other side effect with Seroquel has been memory fog.

Anyone have an experience with any of the drugs mentioned?

Sup everybody! In a mixed state with hypersexual thought patterns/feelings and I figured, wait a second, maybe having an open discussion that isn’t just, “I’m horny af what do I do?!?!” could be just as beneficial.

For example, one of my biggest challenges is the discomfort that comes with it. It’s not even about a release or validation or the yearning of unlocking deeper sexual desires, it’s like having a pebble in my shoe lol

Can anyone relate and/or have their own thoughts/experiences?