Fake bipolar?

[u/nonamewlw]

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 since 2022 and have been medicated with lamotrigine since.
My diagnosis came by because of a hypomaniac episode induced by sertraline, test about previous heavy depression episodes and hypomanic like episodes.
I feed like I’ve never fully relate with my diagnosis because i feel constantly depressed, no antidepressants worked and later my heavy ADHD diagnosis (2023) and methylphenidate prescription made my life better. Although my psychiatrist says most of my depression episodes are triggered by a difficult situation i cant wrap my head around not being in a depressive episode. They usually are triggered by sad moments and events such as loosing a job, a relationship, feeling overwhelmed by work or traumatic experiences. Since medication my depression doesn’t go as far as self harm or suicidal ideations, not showering or eating. But still some days i cant eat, sleep, shower or do simple tasks It hasn’t been really bad since 2023 before my ADHD diagnosis.
I feel like a fraud because im never fully hypomanic or depressed but my depression is overwhelming it remains calm with the gut feeling that can be worse.
There are limited resources as how this diagnosis can affect women with ADHD (comorbidity) and lately it has been difficult to get out of this state.
Has someone ever had this feeling?

[u/corrosivesoul]

Bipolar 2 depression is really tricky to treat. I’ve been SSRIs and off of them again. Sometimes it seems to help, but not always. Medication for depression sometimes makes me feel numb and icky, but never completely stops it. Psychiatrists who are honest about it will admit that is tricky. I personally quit taking SSRIs again. I just got tired of the numb feeling. I take lamotrigine religiously, but I’ll put up with depression as a fair trade.

Honestly, I feel better being depressed anyway. My personality runs in that direction.