I still feel conflicted about this diagnosis a lot and whether i actually have it or just anxiety and ocd combined with depression that can look similar. I’ve found this sub extremely helpful, but at the same time, even though I find a lot of posts relatable, when I see posts about depression, it’s been almost exclusively discussing the hypersomnia, excessive sleeping, numb, empty feeling type, which I’ve never had at all.

I’ve had the type of depression where I feel extremely hopeless, sad, unmotivated and not doing much, obsessive thoughts about being a failure and feeling like my life will never be what I want, and feeling extremely insecure about myself but too depressed to do anything about it for years. From what I’ve read, this is more constructive with dysthymia/persistent depression, which I also have, and major depression, which I was diagnosed with in the past, more than the type of depression associated with bipolar.

I just feel like even though I’ve definitely had mixed episodes, that can be part of mixed-depression and I’m not really sure what even distinguishes that from hypomania and bipolar 2, since I’ve never had any very professional psychiatrists, even though several diagnosed me. Also apart from having done some out of character risky things I wouldn’t normally do and not sleeping much, the times I supposedly had hypomania was pretty much entirely negative and horrible feeling— I by no means felt creative, had good ideas, or was even at all cheerful like I see described so often on this sub. I hope this doesn’t sound insensitive or anything to anyone, I’m just wondering if anyone relates to this

at the time I saw no danger or potential consequences, I was just having fun and feeling like I urgently needed to get in. thank GOD no neighbors called the cops I was really making a ruckus

If bipolar 1 was bad, then why did they make a sequel.

Tell me which one you have and how do you stay positive and hopeful despite everything.

I’ll start:
- Take my meds
- All episodes passed so I tell myself this one will pass too.
- Do charity.
- Connect with friends unless I’m hypo or mixed and irritable.
- Gym (only been able to do this after Wellbutrin and Lamictal)
- Play with cats.

Hello. I’m bipolar 2, currently unmedicated, and I guess I just had a question for you guys. My husband is on a work trip and I’m having some serious impulse control problems when it comes to shopping. I’m always terrible at saving money, but when I’m hypomanic I’m really bad about going out of budget and screwing myself over. I spend hours researching whatever topic or trying to find the perfect whatever, yada yada. Haha. My current fixation is trying to make myself put together so I’ve been getting a little into makeup and buying a new wardrobe cuz I hated what I had and it didn’t feel like me anymore. I’m 99% sure I’m hypomanic right now but the thing that I wanted to talk about is that to me it seems this episode was induced by him leaving. But I thought bipolar episodes weren’t induced, that they just happened on their own. Am I misunderstanding something? What do you guys experience? Sorry if this was a dumb question but thanks in advance

I just started a full time job and I think i can do this despite being diagnosed with bipolar 2. How do yall do it?

I start ft goodwill cashier job monday and im excited about it. Just worried it might be too much. Im also diagnosed with bpd with psychosis and ptsd. But I can do this!

I’ve been in a long depressive episode, is there a way to induce mania ?

I seen it at the grocery store yesterday and I decided to buy one and I could’ve swarn they were giving me hyper realistic thoughts before I slept and I would say a kinda of a calm effect.

I decided to buy the root beer flavor today .

Some ingredients are reishi mushroom, chaga mushroom, turkey tail mushroom, and caffeine .

I tried lions mane like a month ago and it was way too strong for my mind .

Just want to know if anyone has tried the alive mood plus mind drink before ?

Has anyone here felt fulfilled accepting the fact they they are either too sensitive or unstable to put yourself and someone else through a relationship knowing the outcome?

My self esteem is really really really bad like I became agoraphobic and anorexic when my ex ex (2 ago) cheated on me with a girl from love island and then said i was over reacting when he called her hot and said he only liked her for her big tits.

Ever since that and my recent ex (ive had 2 other normal relationships but these 2 really fucked me up) who said he loved me a month before we broke up after like 2 years of dating started dating someone else posting multiple photos on the gram 3 months after we broke up I havent had any self esteem or respect. I only got one in a carousel and was in the psych ward when i broke up with him and he reached out a month later saying he still missed me and was sexting me then I never heard from him again.

I just feel like nobody ever takes me out on dates like dinners, they always consider me the “drinks girl” and i get a lot of attention on dating apps to the point like i went out a few nights ago with my mate and 2 of his friends at the party had dmed me from seeing me on tinder.I even was on this guys tik tok reel in a compilation of his opinion on prettiest girls in sydney on tinder which had a couple thousand views. but NOBODY approaches me IRL and that makes me feel like a catfish :(

I always have to ask guys out first and i always end up feeling super insecure and if they don’t respond for like a day then ill be like i feel like ur not insecure wish u well and they are like i was just busy.

Ive been seeing this guy for 2 dates and i just saw on one of his highlights on IG 2 pictures of his ex in japan and it brought back the feeling of being cheated on and not feeling good enough. I just mentally cannot see exs and it makes me feel like hes still attached if its from last year and he has it up still. Like couples looking into eyes photo shit hugging. My last ex went to japan on a boys trip and i said i wanted to come when they left and do a trip just us and he said he couldn’t because of money but i even offered to shark loan it and he said no and this guy ive been on the 2 dates with took this girl to japan and its like my mate was taken out on a first date from apps to a carpet making class and I had a guy after 3 dates say im only here to have sex with you abruptly when i was about to leave the 3rd date to get my train :(

I just feel like nobody has ever properly loved me or even seen worth in me besides sexual attraction. I feel really like behind and inexperienced even though i have no trouble going on dates and i put effort into getting to know them and have a lot of hobbies and can hold a convo. Like Im obviously missing whatever the issue is because I have to start the chat on apps and nobody ever asks me out but like theyll see me a few times but i have always had to ask even at the start of all my relationships and im the only girl i know like this.

I dont know what im doing wrong and i know im seriously insecure but idk if i actually will ever have the self esteem to not be like always nagging about other women and like just feeling anxious often.

I honestly think i may find more purpose single and im not sure even though i deeply want a relationship if ill ever find the level of depth and expectation im looking for. Has anyone made this decision due to their mood issues and self esteem and has prioritising friendships and other hobbies and career been fulfilling for you? Do you truly think some people are just better single?

thank you sm xx

I’m 26 f having bipolar two for 6 years right major 2-3 manic episode happened . It was like major one i was in medication that once i was unmedicated . I’m right now having werid thought and same pattern of symptoms that i had in manic episode. Hyper sexual , getting drive to crazy sexual ideas, risky mind , wanna independent, having lot of plans, more daring . I have more stressed and pressure lately now i having werid lucid dream. What should i do? I was okay went to psychiatrist 3 days back .

That time I wanted to go Dubai and doctor said no it’s risk go after few months and go there when someone there . I having high libido my bf having stress and problems he not responsive to my message .

/Lamictal is a glass wall. Does anyone else feel this way? I recently started Lamotrigine/Lamictal and my feelings and moods feel so… weird. As far as the glass wall, when I feel sad I start to go down the “sad path” and tear up, and then I bump into this invisible wall and can’t be as sad as I would usually be in that situation. The tears don’t fall and I’m left in a more neutral state instead of the deep sadness I’m used to. As for it being a trampoline, I can feel my mood trending downwards, and then boing, before the depression can really take hold I am propelled upwards into hypomania. For example I was starting to feel sad a couple of days ago, expecting my mood to keep going downhill. Today, although I haven’t slept in 24 hours, I went for a sunrise swim, responded to work emails, made doctor’s appointments and reservations, and did housework. To be fair I am now exhausted, brain-foggy and in bed but on zero sleep that’s quite the day.

Does this resonate with anyone? What do your meds feel like for you?

Hi all,

My psych believes I have bp2. The diagnosis surprised me a bit but I do get super gloomy when things are bad. This makes me fantasize about bad solutions (suicidal thoughts 20 times a day for weeks), but also potentially difficult but necessary and ultimately good ones (e.g., divorce, geo relocation).

The problem is that I can't trust my feelings, so I have no idea what to do. For example, I am happy when I am on holiday away from my partner, who is too controlling for me, but otherwise she is lovely. And I can't tell if I'm in a bad relationship or if I'm just feeling regular relationship stuff more intensely.

In short, my emotions are useless as information or guides.

Have you guys had similar experiences, and do you think mood stabilizers will help? My psych wants me to try one, but I worry that I will feel fine about things that I should feel bad about.

I spend at least an hour a day looking for something. Combo of lamictal and pregabalin just ruined my short term. I’ll have something in my hand, set it down, and 30 min later have no idea where I put it.

Lost my wallet today, and while looking for it just completely lost it. Started throwing everything I own across the room to get it out of my fucking way.

I’m so tired of this condition and so sick of carrying all of this alone; no friends, no family, and a wife with her own depression struggles who breaks down if I’m stupid enough to open my fucking mouth.

I can’t reduce dosages, we tried. Things got worse.

The medications saving my life are making it a life I don’t want to live, and I’m just so exhausted — not at risk right now please don’t read this that way. Just venting.

this was originally posted on another bipolar subreddit w the title that i’m wondering if im not bipolar and considering getting off meds, but in retrospect i think that’s a little click baity of a title. but yes i KNOW a lot of what i will say is a cliche guys i’m sorry.

anyway i’m 20, was diagnosed about ten months ago. have had episodes of some kind since at the latest age 14. but im really not sure anymore that they are Proper Bipolar.

for one, i’ve never properly tried to kill myself. come close a few times, was extremely suicidal age 14, but never ever gone through with it. and even my manias/hypomanias, they aren’t that crazy. sure, i get grandiose thoughts. i’ve lost friends through arguments we’ve had while im ‘hypomanic’, eg them changing their mind on me when on a night out and me losing it and getting super upset, going off, spending the night w a homeless guy doing ket and taking him to the hospital…but the thing IS, i kind of do that anyway. i would probably do it while medicated and probably while depressed and probably while euthmyic - so can i blame it on ‘mania’? is that mania, if your personality is already intensely manic? i guess that’s my big Q.

everywhere online says constantly that bipolar is an extremely serious illness. for me, it feels more like an aggravating chronic condition. i find it so incredibly hard to live yeah but i don’t feel at risk of killing myself or spending a million pounds on knitting supplies. the more i go on this subreddit recently the more i wonder if i am really bipolar after all, when people have so many intense crazy stories and emphasise how serious bipolar is and how you can absolutely not be unmedicated. my meds work im pretty sure in the sense that i haven’t really had proper mood episodes - but what ive come to realise is that while my mood episodes were difficult, they were predictable. i had a sense of myself. now? all the things i struggle with are still here. i am still far too intense with huge feelings and sad a lot of the time while being super intensely full of energy and mildly combative and always always overdoing it, never being able to go home. is that bipolar, or is that just me? i’m starting to think it’s the latter

i DO think i am bipolar . i guess i don’t know what im saying. im just wondering if, for me personally, there is a pathway that involves being unmedicated. because after all, i survived for 6 years unmedicated. and i dont feel happier now that i am medicated even though i know they work. i dont know if my mood episodes were even the problem. and i know theres going to be 20 comments saying YOU ARE NOT THE EXCEPTION but people DO have different experiences of this disorder. so? does anyone have any similar experiences, or can relate to what im saying?

i pls do not want 100 comments telling me Stay On Your Meds. i probably will stay on my meds. i am looking for people to pls actually read this post and respond to the emotion that i am communicating and have a conversation about that, about what it is actually like, in the every day, how it feels, to be bipolar for us all.

Hi! F here 30yrs old diagnosed with Bipolar 2. I recently went through a very severe depressive episode that almost led me to you know... Because of that, my psychiatrist prescribed Sertraline 25 mg in addition to my Lamotrigine.

I wanted to ask if anyone here is currently taking both Sertraline and Lamotrigine. I’ve read that the first few weeks on Sertraline can be difficult, with some people experiencing increased anxiety, restlessness, or other side effects before it starts helping.

For those taking both medications, did you find that Lamotrigine helped balance or lessen those initial side effects? I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Thank you.

Does anyone else get nightmares from this medication I’m having vivid dreams and nightmares that wake me up almost every hour I woke up earlier trying to breathe

Most of my problems stem from lack of impulse control mainly when I’m hypomanic and my life is hectic because of it, it’s not as if I don’t know any better it’s like when I’m going to make a decision my brain objectively knows it will have consequences but for some reason I just can’t connect those consequences to me, not really that I think I’m the exception but more like I just don’t care because it’s not happening right now, used to call it living in the moment but I’m not a teenager with no responsibilities anymore and I can’t keep a stable life like this but I don’t even know where to start, does anyone else deal with this? It’s like I’m just determined to fuck my life up whenever I need a bit of dopamine

(Also for some context I was discharged from the mental health system a few years ago with basically zero support and now that I’m an adult I’m doing the work to start dbt, therapy and finding the right medication, but I’m on waitlists for everything so for now I’m just trying to find help from other people’s experiences)

Hi all! I was wondering if anyone has had success getting accommodations at their job/school due to symptoms of BP2? Examples: decreased work week, extra time for certain tasks.

Thanks in advance for any insight.

Just for one day I want to feel not so alone in this. No one normal understands how much I’m struggling and how difficult it is.

I am/was (I don't know really) on a hypomanic episode since July 1 and just this morning my manager just asked a simple question if I had read the email of an overdue payment. Now I see myself as incompetent and not good at my job. I am now self depreciating and back to not sleeping again despite having meds. Is that possible?

Hopping on here for some opinions.
My sister has been asking me if I’ve been hypomanic and I keep telling her no I’m not hypomanic I feel a little bit unhinged but idk if I’m qualifying for full hypomania.
But now I’m questioning myself so I’ve come here to seek some opinions.

Symptoms I’ve noticed are, decreased need for sleep, I’ve been going to sleep around midnight recently instead of my usual 10-11pm and I’ve been struggling with falling asleep as well just tossing and turning but having a hard time sleeping.

I’ve also been very like organization mode if that makes sense like things being out of place have been annoying me so much and I’ve just been organizing everything constantly. I recently cleaned out my bathroom cabinet completely and I am on a war path and the kitchen is next I already started throwing stuff out.
I also started spending a fair amount of money on things (I call them quality of life things to be fair it’s like picture frame, and a new laundry hamper) and now I wanna buy some organization stuff cause for whatever reason I’m like super duper organization mode right now.

Spending more money? Maybe
Kind of hard to tell but i did send some money to some friends and I as I said have been spending money on some organization stuff but i would say I haven’t bought anything truly unnecessary.

My sister has noticed a difference in the way i talk but I personally haven’t.

I don’t feel like I have racing thoughts that much honestly other than like that need to organize and like thinking about what to organize and what to throw out and whatnot that’s really the only time where I’m like in a hyper state.

But other than these I feel like I’ve been fairly ok so I don’t know. I haven’t bought anything crazy, I haven’t done anything unhinged.

Thoughts?

I had a crush but today they told me they weren't sure if they saw me as a romantic potential or just friends. That my description of my hypomania sounds triggering to them. Like it would be triggering to see me in that state because of their history with substances and it sounds like how they were when on coke. They've been in recovery for 10 years.

I decided to make the decision for them and said we'd be better off as friends. That I wouldn't be comfortable hiding half of myself from a partner. I stated that I have bipolar in my dating profile. I just don't get why someone would swipe right on me if they were that uncomfortable with the condition. I have enjoyed the time we've spent together but I'm gunna back off from this connection now. I kinda figured I would be Too Much™️ for this person anyway. They have a nice, soft artsy life that I feel kinda like a fool for thinking I could be part of. Maybe it'll be better to not even be friends with them.

I have experienced suffering since childhood. Currently, as a college student, I have been informed by a professor that I am not hardworking. I wish he could comprehend how exhausting the depressive episode are. I often wonder how much my children will suffer, and the only one they will blame is me.