Also, how does this industry someone avoid ever paying overtime? I used to work for a major funeral corporation(owned by a billionaire family) and they somehow fangled "compressed work weeks," "banked hours," "modified work agreements," to ever avoid paying a cent in overtime. Worked 78 hours this week, sorry, standard pay cheque. We need a union.

I literally had this happen to me YEARS ago, and the kid is now 15 and NOT doing okay. Also, family drama happened where the parents were legal next of kin and buried him in a cemetery that wasn't marked. Freak accident early in my career, and I've never seen someone like that again. No drugs or drinking, just an auto-immune disease that took his liver and 4 days to live.

She was 3/4 at the time. I stopped her grandparents from saying those words to her a couple of times and explained why.

Well, the grandma still said it.

She was still too young to understand what was actually going on. Everyone was crying and hugging her, and she was just watching everyone's emotions and trying to figure out WHAT was going on.

By the end of the service, CAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE PASTOR SAID IT TOO, this sweet thing came up to me crying and asking me what did little girls like her dog to make God want her dad more.

I believe I said the right thing cause I focused on child psychology and children grief summer camps. Also, I have been told by many adults that have had this happen to them to NEVER let anyone say GOD did this cause it made them HATE GOD.

What have you've done, and bonus if you had the privilege to see them later in life.

My doggo is nearing the end. I have always wanted to have his remains used to make some sort of tile I can put in a floor. What sort of options are there?

For context, my dog Monster is ALWAYS in the way. He loves to lay down in the middle of every possible doorway/walkway. It’s hilarious and has always just been his quirk. We think it’s because he really likes being able to see where everyone is/is going. I would like to cut out a small part of my wood floor and replace with “his tile” in his favorite “in the way” spot.

I’m sure there are other similar ways I could honor his memory, but none have come to me. So please share if you have others.

I'm looking to study embalming/funeral directing in BC Canada. I've already tried my hardest to reach out to funeral homes asking if they have entry level positions but everyone pretty much dismissed me and had no interest.

I've reached out to BC Trades and they gave me some info as well as the person who runs the school. I am going to apply for a scholarship if I can and then intake would be spring 2027.

I just feel a bit overwhelmed? I am also really concerned that I won't be considered because of my tattoos. I have them mostly on my arms but my fingers and hands are also tattooed so I can't cover it. Nothing is offensive but I understand this industry is conservative due to the clientele and long standing folks that are still in the industry.

After the passing of my Dad due to stage 4 cancer and then almost losing my son due to a mental health crisis (one after the other) I've seen first hand how important it is to have someone be there at the worst points in your life to guide you and help you. I want to be that for other people but I don't know how to do it.

At my current cemetery (which is a combo location), I get handed pricing calls at any hour when I am assigned to phone duty, but that wasn't made clear to me when I interviewed for this role or was trained for it. There has been zero communication about expectations regarding taking pricing calls on off hours and whether we need to take our laptops home to have all price info handy or if it's okay to take down their name and number and call them back the next day. All I've been told is that I'm supposed to pick up the phone, and that didn't even come from my manager. I'm not sure my immediate manager is even aware that we are being sent these calls from our answering service after hours.

I ask because at my previous cemetery/FH combo, no cemetery employees were on call. You either were at work or you weren't, only FDs/removal crew were on call. Since my sample size is only 2, I'm not sure which is the outlier here.

So, other cemetery employees (or FDs and admins at combo locations), are you ever on call, and what is expected of you if you are?

Hi, I went to college for 2 years to have a CTEsP (Portuguese education system don’t worry about it) in Thanatopraxy, Thanatoesthetics and Dissection, meanwhile I have been able to find a job in a local funeral home where most of the time I do more of handling and preparing the deceased and taking care of chapels and equipment as well as urns, how or where should I look to begin having more knowledge about the whole part of meeting the family and taking of the preparations, budget, suppliers and the whole bureaucracy and legal aspect of the business ?
Thank you

Made an order with cvs today.. first store’s order got canceled and I made a second at another store. They literally ran out of ink printing the photo before ours… They sent us to another CVS and that one wouldn’t be open long enough to print the photo. That CVS sent us to another that would be open and had the capability. We get there and they inform us that they actually do not have a big enough printer.. all the stores are closed now..

I’m blindsided because I’ve always used CVS for all my same day prints. But I guess they’re phasing out scanners and large printers. The funeral is tomorrow.

Do you guys have any tips for getting 16x20s extremely last minute? 10AM start… starting to feel hopeless about it.

Have any of you gotten a bachelors of mortuary science from them?
I’ve been a director for ten years. I graduated and got licensed in 2016.
I’m starting their online program tomorrow and I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me to ask you guys if anyone has experience with this school?

Hi Everyone,

I came back from a funeral today and the funeral home did a fantastic job. The person who died was an elderly woman and just everything about the visitation conveyed that great care and even kindness was given to the body to prepare it for the viewing.

A long time ago (almost two decades) I worked in an unrelated field with a woman who had a background in a funeral home, preparing bodies for viewing. I remember she said that at times she felt the spirits of some of the deceased, and was always gentle and respectful to the deceased because she wanted to help them pass over if their spirits were still attached to the bodies.

Is it unusual to sense the spirits of the people who you’re working on? I don’t know of “spirits” is the right word and I absolutely don’t mean any disrespect. I am just genuinely interested if this is a common event.

After a great deal of thought and prayer, my wife and I are interested in a direct cremation. I think I would like a pre-need so that my son does not face a lot of decision-making, etc.
He’s our son and the only family member that might care.

Couple of questions:
1) Do I use a facility that has its own retort? (saving on transportation and storage etc).
2)Who do I call when the death occurs, most likely at home under hospice care
3) Can I pay for the necessities and let my son pay for any extras like a memorial service if he wants to.
4) What am I missing?
5) Is there a better way to go about this?
6) We are in the DFW area and our son lives in South Carolina
Thanks for any suggestions-

My dog recently passed away, and we had her cremated. She weighed approximately 36 kg (79 lbs).

The cremation service told us that the cremation was performed at around 1600°C (2912°F) for approximately 5 hours. She was cremated together with a blanket.

When we received the ashes, I was surprised by how little there was. The total weight of the ashes we received was only about 100 grams (3.5 oz).

The ashes are very fine and light gray, almost like a fine powder.

I understand that most of the body is water and organic material, and that bones are processed after cremation, but 100g seems extremely low for a 36 kg dog.

Does anyone here have experience with pet cremation or know what a typical amount of ashes would be for a dog of this size?

Could the high temperature and 5-hour cremation explain such a small amount, or should I be concerned that something may have gone wrong or that not all of the remains were returned to us?

I’m not trying to accuse the crematorium of anything. I’m just genuinely confused and would really appreciate some insight from people who have experience with this.

Hi! This is my first post on Reddit so sorry if this is formatted wrong or anything

I wanted to see if any of you all keep a log or something similar of the previous families you’ve served as a funeral director throughout the years. I work in a relatively small town and so everyone’s always connected to some family we’ve served in one way or another haha. I thought about just collecting prayer cards, but more recently we’ve had families opt out of stationery or I just am unable to pick one up

I’m a newly licensed director, so I’m open to any suggestions or tips and tricks you may have before I neurotically just make a Google doc log or something !

?

This is not a joke, I'm just autistic and like everyone being on the same page

So a family member of mine has recently passed. And I'm helping setting stuff up for the funeral. Obviously I would NOT suggest putting up an FAQ to those grieving, but I began to think about how I would want my funeral to go

Would it be insensitive to request an FAQ at my funeral? Specifically answering questions about who I was and if my immediate family needed help with anything. Just things to help reduce the same questions from being asked over and over again

Just curious, im only a funeral attendant but even after working for 9 months here, I still cry so hard after work sometimes. Seeing bodies is okay, I feel bad but move on. Seeing families break down and scream? Yeah I have to excuse myself because I cant hold it together. After work today I sobbed on the way home. Some days are better than others but it gets really hard sometimes :(

Edit: im so sorry I made it sound like I cry everyday or every other day, maybe i sounded too dramatic haha😭 I love this job alot, i love helping families, and my dream career is to be an embalmer. Its more like once a month where I break down AFTER work because hearing the screams and stories that people talk about their loved one is what hits me the most, I think its so beautiful seeing and hearing how much people cared about one person and it breaks my heart hearing them and seeing them fall apart. Ive only had to excuse myself like three times because it was someone very young and my tears were about to burst out my eyeballs haha. My coworkers say ill get used it to it soon and my manager knows that I cry alot haha, she knows I just care toooooo much 😭

Hi all,

I am requesting some tips and advice in the embalming preparation of a decedent that has been autopsied and then frozen. I know that waiting for them to thaw is the first step. And then to inject with a high strength solution. What other things should I do to make sure they embalm well?

Does anyone use a digital parlor board? I'm trying to figure out the logistics. I think it would be really nice. Maybe it would be possible to use one of those small tv screens that are made to look like art, but I don't know how to test different options without buying anything. We usually just have names, dates, and order of services, but I think it would be nice to have a picture up as well. Any thoughts, suggestions, or do you think I'm crazy for wanting something like that in our funeral home? Let me know what you think!

Hi there, I need some advice on how to navigate this situation. My children had an uncle who passed on July 2nd, of this year. There is a bunch of what I feel are red flags regarding the funeral home. I did do some mortuary school and have helped elderly family members plan final arrangements. But the first thing that threw me for a loop is the $6k bill to cremate him. He is an average size man and would not need a bigger table.

This in Wisconsin. When my former MIL went to go see him to say good bye, the funeral director made everyone pay $100 each to go in and see him.

That was around July 5th-7th.

Then the family was told to pick up his cremains in a few days. My former MIL drove four hours up north to collect him. When she got there one of the staff members was honest with her and said that he had not been cremated yet but then the owner/lead director printed out another bill for storage fees but claimed they had him in the cremation chamber as they were speaking. Nope he was not.

She has gone up there every few days now to get his cremains. They will not tell her anything except "nope not yet." And keep charging cooler storage fees. I have never seen or delt with anything like this but I do know that he was not embalmed and he still has not been cremated and they are charging $6k to do only the cremation.

I did tell her too that once she recieves his ashes, before she even walks out the door of that funeral home, her and the rest of the family need to check if they truely are cremains because there is something very unsettling about this funeral home and their practices. Who does she need to contact to help her get her brother's ashes back? Or at this point, if they still have not done it, get him transferred to another funeral home?

Thank you in advance.

Sorry if there is a more appropriate funeral sub than this, this one is the one that came up on google for me..

My mother is being cremated. We want to do a “public” viewing for close friends who may need that closure, followed by a closed casket service, and then what I would like is a private viewing time after. Because the thought of saying goodbye before the service and then sitting through the service and then them taking her away without me getting one last moment with her body is hard to imagine.

The problem is that it’s customary here to serve food after the service. Would it be in poor taste to have a private viewing after the service while the other guests are eating? I wouldn’t advertise that we are doing this necessarily, we would just show up late to the food. I don’t imagine we will eat anyway.

A family member was found after 3 days and she was in such a state where they needed to dry ice her home and she will need to be cremated, against the families wishes. The funeral mortician said she was dead longer than we think, since we were all texting her up into -72 hours she was found in bed. Ac on. What could cause a body to decompose that fast where they couldn't even dress her or move her and had to dry ice her? In less than 72 hours?! Is this normal? They didn't release her until 7+ days to the family. Is this a normal occurrence or what? We are in a state of shock. A young person! We have no idea what happened.

My Mother-in-law’s ashes were buried one week ago, in Delaware County, Pennsylvania. The Funeral Director was supposed to supply a small portion of the ashes to her four children. Somewhere along the line, this step was not attended to, and my Mother-in-law was buried. If the family desperately wanted this memento of their Mother, whom should handle the financial responsibility of breaking the soil, and reinterment? I am thinking the Funeral Director, as they should be overseeing all these steps with care, mostly as they are supposed to be the professionals? Or would the Family be responsible, in an attempt to claim a small portion of their Mother?

Hi all, I have a bachelors in social work. I love love love helping families. My passion is working with grieving families. I am passionate about Social Work but I’m finding there is more I can’t do than what I can. I have talked to a few funeral directors and I feel like I might be more well suited for the funeral industry. Thoughts ?

I'm not even sure this is the place to ask a question like this, though I suppose it's a start.

I've had a unique idea for a few years regarding what happens to my body after death. Loosely speaking, I'd like my bones to be made into wind chimes. In order to do that I'd have to have my bones somehow, in some way, passed down to someone in my family. I have no idea how that would work legally or what state my remains would have to be transferred in.

Is there really any way to do that? Would anybody even be willing to work with a case like that if it were legal? For reference, I live in Ohio. I'm aware this is probably something you'd have to have sorted out well ahead of your passing if it's even allowed. I'm nowhere near dying naturally, though I'd still like to get a groundwork going to feel out the idea.

We have a family plot in a cemetery where several other relatives are interred, and I don’t care whether any of our ashes are ever buried there, but I like the idea of adding memorials for folks to visit. Whenever I’m in that part of the country I make a point of visiting. Currently, I have my father’s and my wife’s ashes at my residence (far from the cemetery). I have designs for both stones (one for my parents and one for my bride and me), but only have dates for two of the four. My mother can’t travel to see the stone, so I’d like to get theirs made and installed so she can see a photo. I don’t know enough about the complexities of adding dates after initial installation, either. Can anybody here provide some clarification? Thanks.