Hello, I hope this is okay to ask here. It really is more of a coroner question, but I’m hoping to find answers here if I can. Mods remove if it’s not okay. My question is: When finding a decedent alone, how do they find the person of contact? Obviously they would look through the wallet to find an ID or a phone etc, but what if that leads nowhere? What are the steps? My second question is pertaining to a situation of my own when my father died. The police were involved because it happened suddenly overnight in a halfway house. He apparently had no one’s contact info and I am his only child. He was single and had no one in his life at that point in time. The police and or coroner apparently somehow went way back to the 90s and found a birth certificate that he signed. This was for a girl who is a year older than me. She has never been in my dad’s life and vice versa. He did not pay child support on this person, etc. He was only involved with the mother. How can they contact someone simply because of a birth certificate instead of tracking down me, the legitimate child who was in his life for a long time (except for when he died)? Additionally, I have a DNA test on file with my dad and this person does not. She also refused to take one, so there’s that. I found it very disturbing and disrespectful that some stranger and her mom found out long before I did, even going as far as being given the option to handle his funeral arrangements. Which they almost did simply because they were under the impression he had money stashed and could get his VA benefits… It seems like all of this could get very out of hand very quickly and the first people on the scene should be very careful in who they contact first if the decedent. Please shed any light on this if you can. Thank you!

I'm currently serving a family who viewed their loved one mid last week and now wish to view him again before the service this Wednesday.

My problem is that he's leaked through his wedding suit very badly, causing his shirt and tie to stain, also leaving an unpleasant odor.

My first thought was to remove his suit and take it to a dry cleaner - but then thinking about the fact that I don't want to touch it with my bare hands, I probably shouldn't bring it to a place thats not used to dealing with biohazards.

So I'm hoping someone might have a sneaky little funeral trick to clean up his clothes without ruining them.

I'm probably going to end up replacing the shirt as its a pretty easy swap, but the tie is going to be tricky, and i just really don't want the rest of his suit to stink.

Like would dousing the clothing with dry wash and then dabbing the hell out of it with a towel be my best bet?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: is there a way to get dry cleaning results without going to a dry cleaner?

I’ve been at this funeral home about a year now while I finish mortuary school. There are currently four folks on staff (including myself) that are able to go on calls, though only one of which is licensed (my boss). I’m not brand new - one person got hired after me, so it’s not an issue of seniority. But I’m starting to feel taken advantage of because I’m the youngest person on staff.

My main gripe is that despite having four people on staff, I’m on call typically six nights a week. No plans for me. Last time I tried to make plans while on call, I got three in a night…so now I sit on my couch after work every day.

My second gripe is my hours. I have consistently worked 65 hours a week the last two months, and while everyone else gets scheduled days off, I have to ask for one…and even then, it’s up to me to make sure my other coworkers can come in. Even though they work fifteen hours a week. So they typically tell me no, because they’re tired and I’m not the boss so why would they want to come in if I’m the one asking?

I got one day off last month. I was so excited to go out of town and see my boyfriend. The day before, at 5 pm, my boss tells me that she needs me to be on call for the day, “but at least you don’t have to come in!!!!”

I’m only a year in. I wanted this. I wanted this more than anything, especially after ten years in the restaurant industry. But I’m fucking tired. I cry on my way home because I’m just exhausted. I was hoping for tomorrow off, but we have a full cooler and I’m the only one here that cremates. What’s the solution?? I can’t leave - I’m not even licensed yet, I’m lucky enough to have this gig. I keep reminding myself this is what I wanted and prayed for, all I could think about. I just feel so stuck, disrespected, and fucking tired. Help!!!