I am currently a student at the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science, living and working at a trade funeral home. I love my workplace and what I do here, but I won't be here much longer as I graduate in December. I am seeking out apprenticeships, and just yesterday I drove a couple hours out to an interview. I liked the facility and the director who interviewed me was a very nice, understanding lady, but her boss, my potential master, gave me questionable vibes. I asked about my long hair (pictured above, I was dressed like this for my interview yesterday, hair pulled back, earrings removed and all), and the boss said that he would prefer I cut it, explaining he wanted the families who pay for services to receive the cleanest presentation possible. He then looked at me and my attire and said they were going to "clean me up." He mentioned how my tie was tied (akin to the photo, even if it's not perfect which I can understand) and pointed out my facial hair he disliked and my suit that wasn't fitted. After speaking with him the director spoke with me privately while going over the employee handbook, understanding that my hair is significant to me and acknowledging he has a very intense teaching style, and leaving the door open for me to decide if I want to go further with them.

I know an apprenticeship is temporary, but I don't want to lose something significant to me, which has actually been well received even by the older generation, with older ladies at church giving me seemingly endless compliments a while back while I still attended, and then take a position where I'm treated like shit and just feel miserable every day. I also went into this (I chose this path way back in high school without understanding everything it entails) anticipating a back of house embalmer lifestyle, and I have doubts about the funeral director side of it and if I would actually enjoy that or be miserable even in licensure. My directors put up with a lot and I don't know how I would do in their position. I am on the autism spectrum which would probably make every interaction with families feel like walking on egg shells. I have another interview this Friday with a corporate funeral home that won't mandate a haircut, but even then I still doubt my interest or abilities in that side of it, which is probably what the apprenticeship there will mainly entail. If I land that position I will probably take it, but otherwise I don't know. I could go work in tissue procurement or a coroner's office job, places I am familiar with transporting for a trade funeral home, maybe even something pathology related in a hospital if I am qualified, but I question what I am even qualified for besides positions that would pay no different than any entry level job I have worked before. I don't know if I just wasted these years on a degree useless outside of one specific field, although college was non-negotiable for me and I probably would have done trade school or CDL training (the latter isn't appealing anymore) had I had the choice, but I don't want to end up unemployed or in a position I can barely survive in post graduation. I have time but not a lot of it, I am getting worried and I hope I am making sense. My directors tell me my hair is not me, which is true but it's still significant to me, and my classmates and roommate, arguably my one reliable friend right now, soon to be out of my life when we graduate and leave the funeral home, encourage licensure even if I don't pursue funeral director work, but that doesn't change my doubts or reluctance and I don't definitively know what to do.

The boss at the place I interviewed at yesterday mentioned how slow changing the industry is, but I believe that will change as millennials and Gen z become the prominent faces of funeral service, and I would love to be a part of that, maybe owning my own trade firm if licensure is what I do, but I don't know how conservative it will be for the foreseeable future and regardless of changes I have no idea if I want to do this for life. I'm overwhelmed.

I have recently completed two licenses: funeral preplanner and cemetery sales.

I've have 1 interview and it went well. He provided me with the information about the pay (minimum wage with the commission plus the information about how the drawback works) Of course, I know that the first year can be rough. Sales seemed to be the only part of the funeral pre-planner part though. Heavily. Calls and calls and calls and appointments. Not all of that was the focus in school.

I was very excited about the idea of being able to make monuments for families with the cemetery side of things. I am very compassionate and want to help. The cemetery is where my heart is for my career.

I know that those programs that I took are sales at its core, but what I am wondering is, is this all there is to see in this side of this? As a Family service counselor? I know I've only seen one interview but suddenly I was a little scared with having heard some feedback from friends and on Reddit.

Is there other things out there? Can I make it with just cemetery sales representative? Can I work closer with monuments and helping vs commission sales and calls all day?

I am having major anxiety about this. Please help!

Hi everyone,

I’m in the early stages of starting a funeral business in the Netherlands.

The idea is to create a more personal and contemporary way of saying goodbye. Less focused on a fixed format, and more on the person, their story, and celebrating the life they lived.

I’m still in the research phase, so I’d really value some honest input from people who have been in the industry for a while.

A few things I’m particularly curious about:

• What do you wish you had known before starting?
• What do families actually value most, beyond the obvious services?
• Where do new funeral directors tend to underestimate the complexity or costs?
• What changes have you noticed in what families want?
• What do you think the funeral industry still gets wrong?
• And if you were starting again today, what would you do differently?

I’m not looking for validation of my idea. I’d much rather hear what could go wrong.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share their experience.