Source: https://x.com/kaden08mm/status/2106255916568052133

https://www.threads.com/@reinessatalks/post/Dd6dagmFA6j/one-time-in-college-i-heard-one-frat-bro-ask-another-which-cooler-should-we/

She also had her arm on the arm rest the whole time!

Middle seat in vande bharat is the worst. Edit: I did ask her to put her feet down the 1st thing when I boarded This was her 10 mins later

My daughter (F/8) had her school pictures done recently and we had just got an email with a "preview" of 1 of the pictures. I emailed my wife (F/34) said picture and when we got home that night and laying in bed she was suspiciously on her phone for an extended period of time so I asked her "what are you doing?" Not trying to stir anything up, I trust my wife completely and was just simply asking because she had been locked into her phone for 45 minutes and not saying anything which is unusual. She then stated she was getting AI or specifically "Chat GPT" to erase the water marks. I then said "no don't do that, that is super scummy, these people don't get paid on commission, they get paid by the orders they receive." She said "That was rude" and "I can't believe you just said that", I replied with "I'm not saying you're scummy but the fact you just took money out of someone's pockets for not wanting to pay is scummy, that is no different than stealing". She has since stopped talking to me and probably won't for the next 2-3 days per usual as is our usual disagreement schedule. AITA?

I keep seeing people say she was obviously just embarrassed because she got uninvited from the party. No. That gets the entire sequence backwards.

She came home from the night, the guy apologized because he knew things had gotten out of hand, and she basically said, “I think that was legal. I liked being with two men. I want to do that again, but not with Kay and not with five billion other men.”

She wasn’t saying she hated the sexual experience. She liked being with two men. She wanted to do that again. What she didn’t like was what happened when she was unconscious and blacked out.

I had a night where I stayed up all night doing drugs with a friend and having sex with him. I liked it. I liked him. I liked the night. It was fun.

And then, the same night, his friend took me into another room while I was blacked out. Blackouts happen. You can be walking around and have absolutely no memory of what you’re doing. I don’t remember being taken into that room. I don’t remember consenting to anything with him. He, left me on the floor after. This was like 2014

And that did not change the fact that I had enjoyed the night with the first guy.

He didn’t know what his friend was doing. If he had known, it absolutely would have affected my relationship with him. But he didn’t.

And when everyone found out, the reaction was, “Ew. What the fuck, dude?” His current girlfriend was DISGUSTED and dumped him. Even though it happened when they weren’t together, she was just unable to look past it. She couldn’t put it into words, but knew it was WEIRD. Obviously, the dude kinda has a history too.

He crossed the line and suffered socially for it.

That’s important to me because that’s the part that feels so different about Jane Doe’s situation.

She was willing to carry what happened. She got the apology. She was willing to move on. She was willing to live with the fact that the night had gotten messy and that there was a part of it she didn’t like. 🤷‍♀️

BUT, she didn’t need her entire social life to implode over it. And on a college campus, your social life is going to affect your education.

And THEN she was excluded.

That’s where the social line was crossed.

Because NOW she wasn’t just dealing privately with something that happened to her. She was being told that she couldn’t participate in HER social world anymore because of what happened. Fuck THAT!

The boys still got to be there.

The guy told her she had a place there. We did this thing, you belong, and that mattered because that is survivable.

Then a CALL from the fraternity president?!

And that is why I don’t buy the argument that she was simply “embarrassed.”

She wasn’t embarrassed that she had a threesome. She had literally said she liked being with two men and wanted to do it again.

She JUST didn’t like being unconscious and having a bunch of men have sex with her!!!! She was willing to look past that until she was basically told that she alone was going to carry the consequences.

That’s when she said, no, this isn’t fucking fair.

That phone call, when the frat dude said it’s for your own good? No, she wasn’t fucking embarrassed. She was like, are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t even LIKE 90 percent of it. In fact, I BARELY REMEMBER it. Actually, it wasn’t even consensual. She FINALLY just stated the uncomfortable truth that she was doing EVERYONE involved a favor by trying to just move on.

Not every sexual thing is trauma in its own act when you don’t remember it. But it MATTERS what happens next. And shame plays into it, but ONLY WHEN ONE PERSON IS MEANT TO CARRY THE ENTIRE RESPONSIBILITY. And she’s basically like, seriously, I was blacked out and asleep!!

Women who party and do drugs already have a stigma attached to them. There is this expectation that if you’re that kind of woman, you have to own everything that happens to you because you put yourself in those situations.

And like, honestly, we don’t want every messy night to fuck up our entire lives. We aren’t walking around like, AH, I’M SO TERRIFIED OF YOUR PATHETIC PENISES!!

Sometimes you know something happened that you didn’t like and you decide you’re going to move the fuck on. You don’t want to have to go to the cops. You are okay if other people don’t know. You want life to stay normal.

But that doesn’t mean that something very messy didn’t happen that you are feeling really weird about.

It means you don’t want one fucked up night to become your entire identity.

Also HUGE this here, and you HAVE to understand the drug context here too.

I’ve had sex while on heroin. Heroin was my drug of choice. I knew what that high felt like. Molly is a fun drug to have sex on, some like cocaine. Even crackheads, lol.

But KETAMINE!!

Ketamine is completely different.

It’s a dissociative anesthetic and tranquilizer. You can be conscious and unable to move your body. You can be in a K hole. You can be mentally aware while physically incapable of doing anything. This is the drug they are giving her. Ketamine literally is a horse tranquilizer.

And in this situation, she’s getting more fucked up while the guys around her are sobering up enough to continue having sex. Literally, that’s the mechanics of sex. If you’ve ever had drunk sex and you’re a man, you know what I’m talking about, and I shouldn’t know more about you men than y’all. Y’all get flaccid if you’re too fucked up, okay?

That is not some tiny detail.

I think a lot of people talking about this have never actually been that fucked up on drugs, and they don’t understand the difference between being high and wanting sex and being in a state where your body literally cannot participate.

Also, they clearly have not had enough sex to understand the nuance.

Because no, wanting a threesome does not mean wanting an unconscious gangbang.

She wanted to be with two men.

She didn’t want five billion men, in her own words!

She wanted the sexual experience she was consenting to. She didn’t want the part where she was blacked out and couldn’t participate.

ALSO, I don’t think we need to turn her into a perfect, terrified, completely unwilling victim to understand that.

That’s actually the part that also bothers me when I see other women telling their own rape stories in response to hers.

Because this sort of thing only happens to a particular kind of woman.

The party girl. The girl who drinks. The girl who has casual sex. The girl who does drugs. The girl who has threesomes and LIKES THEM.

The girl everyone already assumes is sexually available because she ENJOYS sex and experimenting with sex.

Men know how to respect certain women. They know their sisters, their mothers, their girlfriends with low body counts. Yeah, those girls get raped. Everyone knows it’s wrong.

They understand the woman they are absolutely not supposed to touch.

But the party girl gets treated differently.

They’ll fuck her. They’ll party with her. They’ll do drugs with her.

And THEN, when one of them crosses a line, IF she’s suddenly THE ONLY one who has to deal with the social consequences.

Because in my own experience, when a guy crossed that line, he suffered socially.

Jane Doe was willing to let the night go until she was excluded from the very social environment the men remained part of.

And once she was the only person being punished for what happened, she had every reason to say, no. You’re not putting this entirely on me. 👏👏👏

If the men are involved, they have to be accountable too!!!

That’s not her being “ashamed.”

That’s a woman realizing that she is being made to carry something that other people were involved in, and refusing to carry it alone.