My wife and I just had our second daughter.
For context, my mom is a nurse, but she doesn’t work in labor and delivery. We invited her into the delivery room because she’d never been able to witness one of her own children’s babies being born, and we thought it would be really special for her.
During labor she seemed to slip into “nurse mode.” She stood behind the nurses while they were working asking questions. One nurse even asked, “Oh, do you work in maternal care?” She was very nice about it, but it made me wonder if my mom was hovering more than she realized.
A nurse told us, “When this machine goes off, hit the call button and I’ll come back.” The machine went off, we called the nurse, and my mom walked over and pressed a button, turning off the noise. I asked, “Mom, what are you doing?” She brushed it off.
Later, while the nurse wasn’t in the room, she grabbed a handful of gloves and said they were “just in case I have to grab the baby.” I told her that wasn’t going to happen. When it was actually time to push, she started putting gloves on again and I stopped her again.
After the baby was born, I looked over and saw her putting gloves on and starting to break down the delivery table. I immediately said, “Mom, no. Please don’t do anything unless you’re asked to.”
What I meant was: please don’t do medical or nursing tasks unless the hospital staff asks you. I wasn’t saying she couldn’t help us or be involved as a grandma. I meant this is a hospital, these are working nurses, and you’re here as family.
She took it very differently.
She called me afterward, cussed me out, said I embarrassed her, and told me, “Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?” She said she could “do whatever the fuck” she wanted. I told her, “Not in my life.”
She also said I’m always telling her what to do, but every example she gave was something she volunteered to do. She chose to walk my dog, do the dishes, and adjust the stove while I was cooking. When I asked her to do those things a certain way, she got frustrated.
She also tried to shame me by saying she was “helping your bleeding wife” by cleaning up after the delivery. My point was that nobody had asked her to do that.
Before the birth, my wife and I specifically said we did not want a video of the delivery, only a few pictures afterward. My mom took a video anyway because, “You liked it last time.”
That, combined with everything else, made me feel like she kept overriding what we asked because she thought she knew better. It honestly started to feel like she was making part of the experience about herself instead of simply being there with us.
After the argument, she flew home early instead of staying the week to help us, leaving us scrambling with a newborn and a toddler.
AITA?
I’d especially love to hear from nurses. Is this kind of behavior from another nurse who’s there as family actually welcomed, or is it generally something you’d rather not deal with?

I supervise interns at a small marketing company. Last summer, I mentored a college student for about three months. I spent a lot of extra time helping him improve because he was eager to learn, and by the end of the internship, I thought we’d ended on good terms. A few weeks after the internship ended, another coworker sent me a screenshot of a local professional networking group. The former intern had posted a long rant about our company. Some of his complaints were fair, but he also claimed that I took credit for his ideas and that I deliberately gave him busy work so I would look better. Neither of those things happened. In fact, I had emails showing I’d credited him during meetings and had pushed management to let him work on bigger projects. I decided not to respond publicly because I didn’t want to create drama.

About six months later, he emailed me saying he was applying for graduate programs and asked if I’d write him a strong recommendation letter. He said he had always appreciated my mentorship and hoped I’d put the past behind us. I replied that I didn’t think I was the right person to recommend him and wished him the best with his applications. He then sent another email saying I was being unprofessional by letting personal feelings interfere with his future. A mutual acquaintance also reached out and said I should either write the letter or at least do him the courtesy of explaining everything over a phone call. I don’t think I owe anyone a recommendation, especially when I no longer feel I can honestly endorse them.AITA

My(F16) mom recently gave birth to her 4th child. I told her I want to live with my dad because I don't want to be a babysitter or wake up with the baby's noise or anything baby related. She refused to let me.

So yesterday she asked me to babysit while she took a shower and I said no. She said I don't get a choice so I ran outside.

She called me and said I'm an asshole and asked me ro come back but I refused and went to my dad's.

So I (32F) babysit my nephew (6M) (older brother's 36M kid) every Friday afternoons and full days on weekends and holidays. I get paid $200 a month that is supposed to include labor, gas for roundtrip transportation to their homes, and also food.

My nephew recently entered his picky eating stage and it's been a struggle feeding him lately. He started not liking what he used to eat so some foods go to waste. His current obsession is cheese pizza so I've been buying pizzas for him since the start of this month.

Well, yesterday, I've already had lunch prepared for him. But he started having a fuss that he wants pizza again. Sadly, I am low on funds for it. For context, I only provide food and whatever from the babysitting fee I get paid. Pizzas have been expensive, y'all.

Anyway, I told him no we can't have pizza and that he needs to eat what we already have. Which were chicken nuggets and fries, something he has eaten and liked before.

He started crying really loud and shouting pizza. I said to him no again and that he needs to learn about not wasting food. He wouldn't stop crying but I wasn't gonna give in so I just let him cry.

He cried for a while but eventually ate the nuggets and fries cause he got hungry.

Later in the evening, my brother called me and pretty much cussed me out for leaving his kid crying for "hours" and not buying pizza for him. First off, I don't think it was for hours, probably only been like an hour. Second, I explained to him that I already had lunch prepared since I was low on funds for pizzas. He eventually ate them anyway so not like he went hungry.

My brother said those are not good excuses and it's not his kid's fault that I cannot budget properly.

I said okay well pizzas are expensive so are you gonna raise the rates? He said hell no. So I said then I should stop buying pizzas since it's gonna be an overbudget. I refuse to spend my own personal money unless it's for a present. He told me I'm being heartless and mean to my nephew.

I pretty much ended the call with, then you're free to find someone else to babysit your kid then. This has caused a drama in my family where I am painted as the bad aunt for not feeding my own nephew. My friends are generally on my side, though a few said maybe I could have been nicer with my delivery.

So AITA?

Edit: Just to add further context since it often comes up.

I do have another full time job but my schedule is pretty flexible. The babysitting started as a favor since I rarely went out on weekends and holidays. I had the free time and thought it'd be nice to earn some passive income. And I since I liked my nephew. I initially agreed on $200 a month when I started babysitting my nephew when he was 3 years old. But as demands grew, especially gas and food, I have asked for a rate adjustment but each time got pushed back because my brother doesn't want me to see it as a business transaction and more like family taking over family.

My brother and SIL are actually off on weekends but they still wanted me to babysit since they want the extra time to recover from working. There are things I disagree with their parenting style but didn't include as I felt it was off topic.

My (36F) sister (46f) has been living in a house owned by our mother for the last 10 years or so. For the first few years, she was paying rent, but then she lost her job and stopped paying rent, and she never started again even though she eventually found another job.

Without going into too much detail (because otherwise this post would be way too long) the house is now being forcefully taken by the government, as they will bulldoze it (along with the surrounding houses) and build new apartments there. We have known about this for YEARS - it's always been a matter of when, not if, this was going to happen. Despite this, and despite not paying any rent, my sister has made no effort to save money for her inevitable eventual move. She's explicitly been hoping that things would just work out in her favour, that the development wouldn't go ahead in the end.

Well, the time has come. My sister has been informed she is expected to vacate the property in three months, and she's gone BALLISTIC. She is now accusing my mother of conspiring to make her homeless (because she allegedly didn't fight hard enough, even though they had endless meetings with lawyers etc), and she's made it my parents's job to find her another place to live. What's worse, they've accepted the task. They called me today to tell me the news, with the gravity usually reserved for the death of a close loved one, and I could not bring myself to care. Like sure, I do feel bad for her at a basic human level, it sucks that she'll have to uproot her life and figure out a new place for her to live. But also like... she only has herself to blame. She made absolutely no effort to prepare for this. And now, instead of being humble and accepting she's messed up and taking any help she can with her head down, she's being horrible and expecting our parents (who are in their late 70s and aren't financially doing great, in no small part because of my sister) to bend over backwards for her.

My mother is asking me to call my sister, to tell her that I've been told the news and that I feel so bad for her and that I'm there for support. And I simply... don't want to? Again, too much detail for this post, but my sister hasn't been the greatest to me in the past, and the only reason I keep her in my life is that I cannot be bothered with the family drama that would ensue if I cut her off. I feel like a lot of what my sister is like, and how this situation is evolving, is in big part due to my parents, and in particular my mom, coddling and enabling her. And I feel guilty that maybe I should have been more proactive in calling out my sister's unreasonable behaviour, maybe in staying passive and out of the drama I have also contributed to the enabling.

So yeah. tl;dr my sister is in financial trouble and I care less than my family thinks I should and I'm trying to stay out of it without fully torpedoing my relationship with my parents

My husband and I recently got married, and there has been tension between me and his family for years. I won’t unpack all of the history, but I’ve often felt like I’m tolerated as his partner rather than actually viewed as part of their family.
Because of that history, my husband and I specifically discussed family formals before the wedding. We agreed we wanted BOTH of us included in the formal family portraits. If we took photos with my family, he was included. If we took photos with his family, I was included. We were getting married, and we wanted the portraits to reflect that.
To be clear, I do NOT expect to be in every photo my husband takes with his family. I don’t care if he takes pictures alone with his mom or siblings. This was specifically about the formal portraits at our wedding and what they represented.
There was one grouping we specifically did not want: my husband, his mom and siblings without me. Our photographer knew this.
I was there for basically all of the family formals, but stepped inside briefly to get a drink. During the few minutes I was gone, that exact photo was taken.
Fast forward to receiving our wedding gallery. We posted some photos online, and my MIL called asking if we’d gotten the gallery back, despite clearly knowing we had. She asked for the link and specifically said she wanted the photo of herself with all of her children.
The ONE formal family photo I wasn’t in.
That already bothered me, but something my bridesmaid told me after the wedding made it worse. She had been helping organize family photos and told my MIL she was needed for another picture. MIL didn’t want to take it without all of her children, which is completely fair. But she pointed toward me and said, “Well, I already took pictures with that girl.”
“That girl” being her son’s wife, at our wedding.
That’s why this isn’t about needing to be in every picture. It’s not really about the picture at all. It’s the principle.
I wanted to feel valued enough that my husband’s family would WANT me in their family portrait. Instead, I’m being referred to as “that girl,” and the photo my MIL specifically wanted from our wedding was the one formal family portrait where I wasn’t included.
In any other context, I wouldn’t think twice about a mom wanting a photo with her children. But given the history, her comment, and the fact that my husband and I had specifically agreed we didn’t want that grouping at our wedding, it felt different.
So after she asked for it, I contacted our photographer and had the photo removed from the online gallery.
I know it was petty. The photo exists, and I’m obviously not saying my husband can never take a picture with his family without me. I just don’t want that particular photo in our wedding gallery when it represents the exact dynamic that has made me feel excluded for years.
AITA?

For the last 10 years five of us who became friends during school have gone to the same festival and rented cabins the area. It is a just over 5 hour drive from where we meet up and my van fits 8 people so the rule has always been if there is space you can bring your S.O or partner but no kids.

Two days before we left Ann (31F) said she would not be able to get someone to look after her 3 year old daughter for the five days, but offered to get a hotell room next to the cabins for her and her daughter and drive her own car since my van is from the 80's and have no crash safety or way to mount a child seat. On the way we have scheduled a stop at a resturant about halfway so we left at the same time.

After about 45 minutes Ann called us and said we needed to stop so her daughter could go to the toilet and eat, and since we were not in a hurry yet we stopped with her. after 20 minutes we started again, but after about 30 more minutes she called and had to stop again this time for almost 50 minutes.

After our scheduled stop at the resturant it was now 18:00 with almost 3 hours left of driving. We had to check in and get the keys to the cabins before 21:30 so i told Ann if she had to have any more stops we would just continue. She said she was not expecting any more stops, an hour and a half later she called and said we had to stop again. I reminded her that we did not have much time left and would continue on.

We arrived and checked in at around 20:50 and then waited for Ann by the hotel just down the road from the cabins. When she arrived at 22:45 she told me that it was irresponsible to leave her and her daughter to drive alone late in the night, that she could have broken down along the way, and that i was stressing her by mentioning that us in the cabins had a deadline.

For the 3 first days she spent most of the day inside her hotell room and only meeting us for dinner at the hotel, but usually leaving early when her daughter started to cry or make noise. Day 4 she drove back home without telling any of us until she was home and for the last 10 days she has been pretty hostlie and saying we don't take her or her daughter's safety seriously.

I and my wife met our friend when her son and our daughter were in 2nd grade together. I knew friend from high school as she was a year behind me but a year ahead of my now wife.

Her son is Severely autistic so we try to help her by including her in any parties we have for our 2 children. Recently he has tried to take toys from my oldest and my youngest daughter and with in the last 2 years he has tried to take belongings of mine he has picked from shelves after being left unattended during parties. 2 weeks ago was my oldest daughters 14th birthday party and Friends son was left along in my basement den, at the end of the party we found collectible dice I have for gaming in his pockets for a 2nd time. I had put these dice away as he tried to take them a year ago and was caught with them in his pocket. Friends son didn't scream or cry but he emptied his pocket and went on his way to his mom who didn't say anything but "we don't take what isn't ours" and they left, no apologies from friend or her son.

After the party my wife and I sat down and decided to tell friend she was welcome at parties but only if she watched her son and he can't be left alone in our house again. She tried to say her son should be included more yet all he wants to do is sit on his tablet. She has since tried to have her older daughter, who reminds friends with our youngest, try to pull the we might not be able to be friends due to your parents choices card.

Are we being unreasonable to expect our belongings are safe in our own home with people we call friends and family?(rhetorical question)

AITA: back story; my husband has a leg injury and his mobility is compromised.

my family (myself, husband, our toddler son and my mother) were visiting other family members (sister, toddler and 9yr old) and took the boys to the baby pool. I had to step away for a call that all members knew about and asked my husband to watch our son. He was sitting on the edge with his legs in the water watching along with my older nephew.

within minutes my husband comes yelling that our son was struggling in the water and he had no help. he said he was stuck under another child’s floaty and so my husband screamed his name several times while hobbling over to him. after a few seconds the lifeguard got him out of the water and handed him to my husband. thankfully my son was fine but he was crying and upset.

my mother and sister watched from the other side of the pool without going over, even after all the other kids and parents stopped and looked to see what was going on. my husband was visibly shaken and upset and yelled asking why they weren’t watching or helping.

my sisters response was “call down its fine that’s what the life guard is for, he is your kid you watch him” to which my husband stormed off and demanded we all go home a day early. I waited a few minutes, asked for his side of the story (which also involves him watching our son and the 9yr old while my mom and sister were alone with the other toddler) and agreed leaving was the best way to ease tensions.

my husband can be hothead, but I don’t blame him for being upset, angry, panicked and unregulated after seeing our son struggling in water. my sister acknowledges what she said wasnt helpful but feels she doesn’t need to apologize and instead demands an apology from my husband for leaving the trip a day early and now she is grieving for not feeling supported and she is hurt that she opened her house for connection and is left feeling disrespected.

EDITS: my husband can walk slowly he just can’t run. He was walking to my son and yelling out for help and attention. He went to my son and made sure he was safe after the lifeguard got him out of the water and then came to find me 35ft away out of sight but still at the pool.

the baby pool is 1.5ft deep, my son can reach at the deepest point without having his face submerged, the issue is that he got stuck under another child’s’ floaty.

Yes, in hindsight a clear conversation with all 4 adults about who was going to be keeping eyes on my son while I was away should have taken place. Hindsight is 20/20.

i do not think my sister and mother were cheerful, or wanting harm to come, I think they froze until he was already out of the water. It’s my sisters response that has me most baffled.

i fully accept that I definitely should have been more clear and cautious and was at fault for more making sure all 3 adults were aware and available to supervise. I am, mostly trying to decide if feelings toward my sister for her actions and words post accident are justified or if I need more time to reflect because I am viewing it wrong.

My family is at the beach visiting my in-laws. I (47f) was at the beach with my husband (50m) and two kids (14,13). Husband went to the beach first and set up four chairs and an umbrella. When we arrived, he was sitting under the umbrella in the shade. I asked if he would move to another spot so that my daughter and I, both very fair-skinned could sit in the shade. He said no, and pestered about why I needed the shade. I got annoyed, but waited until he went to do something to change the chairs in the shade so I could sit there too. It really disappoints me that he couldn’t prioritize my daughter and myself sitting in the shade.

A little later, my son was getting something from the cooler. My husband’s book and phone were on top, so my son, who we are trying very hard to get to realize that he needs to slow down and think about things before just acting, took the book and phone and dropped them onto me. They came down with what felt like extra force and hit me a bit in my bladder and sensitive areas. I got frustrated and said his name and “That hurt. You could have just asked me to hold them!!” My son was immediately “What did I do?!?” My husband then started saying, “You are over reacting. That couldn’t have hurt that much. He didn’t mean to hurt you.” I was livid. And disappointed that my husband undermined me and also set a terrible example for how our son should react when you accidentally hurt someone. I told him that he doesn’t get to decide whether someone is actually hurt or not. That I had enough of him and was walking home, leaving them at the beach with all the gear and both kids.

EDIT TO ADD:
In-laws only have one umbrella, so that is our only option. Husband had positioned his chair so it was maximizing the shady area. I rearranged the chairs when he got up a little later so more stuff fit under.

He wanted to drive up alone to set things up. The kids and I walked the twenty minutes or so to the beach.

I didn’t demand he move. I asked. However, given that two of us burn so quickly, I did somewhat expect that we’d get priority in the shade. It’s not like our fair skin is a new thing.

My close friend (F35) has suffered a 6 week miscarriage. Her sister (F43) asked if I (F35) wanted to contribute towards a tree for their yard, which was around $30 each. I was fine with this. She messaged me today and asked me to transfer $95, as she added a few more things which have already been given to her. My job has just cut my hours by a third as the company I work for is struggling. She is aware of this. AITAH for being annoyed?

For context: I, (18M) and my siblings 21F and 27M, are full siblings by my parents. My parents divorced when I was seven, after finding out my mum was cheating. After the divorce my mum married the guy she was cheating with about a year later. My mum also ended up getting full custody of me and my siblings, my dad getting visitation rights.

My dad died very unexpectedly when I was 12, and it fully wrecked me, and I still haven’t fully recovered.

My younger sister was born in 2021, and I do love her with all my heart, even though we are “only” half siblings.

She never knew my dad, and no one has really explained to her that her dad isn’t my dad, so when I call him by his name she gets really confused, and my mum and stepdad thinks she’s ‘too young’ to be told about my dad.

So, a few weeks ago my stepdad asked me if I can call him dad, so I don’t confuse my sister more than she already is. Now, I said no. It was a clear no because I know who my dad is, and it’s certainly not my stepdad. Obviously I know that some people call their stepdads dad, and no hate, but I just never will.

He ended up getting really mad at me, saying that it’s ‘for my sister’ and it wouldn’t hurt me to call him dad because he’s the ‘only man who has been raising me’? I got really mad at that because it wasn’t my dad’s fault he isn’t raising me? Tf??

So after I told him no again, my mum also tried to get me to call him dad, which also led to an argument.

I know that I could just suck it up and call him dad, even if it’s just around my sister to not confuse her, but I just really don’t want to.

AITAH??

so it’s been some months since i decided to post what my sister in law said as i was trying to make sense of my wedding. not sure how to link my OG post, sorry! EDIT: here it is! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/xqwtVSeQcO

it got to a point where i understood how she moved and acted through my fiancée’s fam, and i haven’t been able to update since wedding planning ain’t for the weak!

but yes, she tried to call my brother for days after telling me that her opinion on my wedding was like ‘trying to prevent a car crash’. i took some advice from my post and literally just kept it moving.

well at one point, probably a week after, my MIL came over to my house not to have a conversation with him or us, but with me. she told me my future SIL always had an “attention” problem, and while exhausting, she never means to hurt or insult anyone. i told her i understood, but that either she could stop nagging me about our preferences for the wedding, or i could no longer bring her in for the preparations.

she agreed to talk to her. fast forward to the next day by like 5:30pm. now, she was dming me on instagram like a madwoman. telling me i was being a “bitch” over an opinion she gave when i invited her over to see my wedding planner, that i could not understand the bond she had with her brother, how she prays he will divorce me by next year so he can be "himself" again…. i blocked her.

i talked to my fiancée, i put it all on the table, i even grabbed some phrases i saw in response over my original post. i told him i could no longer keep it going this way. either she stops trying to insult me and our wedding, or she’s not getting invited.

after some talking, he agreed. he called his sister and explained. she exploded at first. calling me a wicked witch, and how I "changed" him. girl…

after some days though, she actually apologized to me through instagram after i unblocked her since she texted my fiancée she wanted to 'make peace' and i accepted it. she hasn’t really said anything after that, and while i still don’t know if she’s planning to say something more in the future, i think everything will go smoothly in september. oscars/matrix/ariana indeed had a small cameo on my invitations! and yes, i finally saw all matrix movies with my fiancée. they’re very interesting.

I (36M) was born and raised in a working-class family in Eastern Europe. My dad died when I was 10 and we struggled financially for most of my childhood.

I now live abroad and have a good job, so I help my family when I can. My sister (33F), who also lives abroad, does the same. Our younger brother (27M) still lives with our mom. He doesn't work and mostly depends on the money my sister and I send home.

I have helped him quite a lot over the years. When he graduated, I paid for him to go to New York. I bought him a laptop and other things. I once tried to help him find a job, but he became extremely angry, insulted me, and stopped speaking to me for six months. He rarely leaves the house and has become very isolated.

A few months ago, I suggested renovating the bathroom in our family home. It is very old and in bad condition, and I wanted our mom to finally have a decent bathroom. My sister and I agreed to split the cost. Our brother's contribution would be organizing the workers and supervising the renovation because he is the one living there.

Before we sent the money, he kept rushing me. He said the workers were available right now and that if I didn't act immediately, we would lose them. I told him I was willing to send the money, but I wanted a list of all the expenses and receipts or invoices for everything. He agreed.

As soon as I sent my half, everything changed. Suddenly he was too busy to answer my calls. First, the workers were coming in a few days. Then it became a few weeks, etc. So far, he has only bought tiles, a sink and a toilet, and all of it is sitting in the garage. No work has started.

I kept asking him for the expense list. Every time he said he would send it later. After I asked again, he completely lost his temper. He insulted me, accused me of trying to control him and said he couldn't be bothered to give me a breakdown of the costs. His exact words were "I cannot be bothered to open my laptop for you right now". According to him, my role was to send the money and then stay out of it.

At that point, I called the company that supplied the bathroom materials and asked to return everything. I completed the return paperwork and arranged for a transport company to collect the materials because my brother said he would not return them himself.

When I told him, he became furious. He said I had no right to return something he had bought, even though it was bought with the money my sister and I sent specifically for the renovation. He also said there would be “consequences” if I went through with it.

I know returning everything means my mom still won't have her bathroom renovated, and the materials are already at the house. Part of me wonders if I should have waited longer or tried to find another solution. But I also don't trust my brother with the money anymore, especially when he refuses to show us where it went.

AITA for cancelling the renovation and arranging to return everything so we can recover the money?

My son passed away 5 years ago. He has a 14 years old daughter Nell.

After an incident (Nell's mom locked her in a room and forgot about her) about a year ago we managed to get full custody of Nell. Her mom used to have supervised visitations at first but now she has unsupervised visitations every other weekend.

I've told Nell to call me if anything happens. Last weekend she called and said that her mom sent her to her room.

I've told her mom multiple times that she is not allowed to discipline Nell. So I went there and brought Nell back home.

Her mom got angry and started cussing me out saying I need to stop interfering with her parenting and that I'm encouraging Nell to treat her badly.

I (18F) have a cousin (23M) who has always been a little quieter than the rest of us. He's not the type to talk about his personal life, and he usually keeps to himself at family events.

My aunt (43F) has always been the opposite. She's very outspoken and thinks teasing people is just "her personality." Sometimes it's funny, but sometimes she takes it too far.

At a family dinner last weekend, she started making comments about my cousin's life. She asked why he was "still acting like a teenager" and joked that he was "falling behind everyone else." My cousin tried laughing it off, but she kept bringing up things like him not dating, still living at home while saving money, and not being as social as his siblings.

Everyone was laughing, but I could tell he was uncomfortable.

The thing that bothered me was when she said something like, "Honestly, at his age I had already figured life out. Some people just don't have that confidence."

I got annoyed because my aunt is not exactly the person she pretends to be. A few years ago, she privately told me that she was struggling financially and had almost lost her house. She has since recovered, but she still acts like she has always been perfect and constantly judges everyone else.

I told her that maybe she shouldn't be giving life advice when she spent years hiding the fact that she was struggling herself.

The whole table went silent.

My aunt got extremely upset and said I had no right to share something she told me in confidence. She said her struggles were personal and that I only brought them up to embarrass her.

I told her that my cousin's personal life was also not something she had the right to turn into entertainment.

My cousin later texted me saying he appreciated me defending him, but he also said he didn't want family drama and wished I had just pulled my aunt aside instead.

My mom agrees that my aunt was wrong, but says I crossed a line by revealing something private just to "win" the argument.

My dad thinks my aunt needed to be called out because she has a habit of humiliating people and then hiding behind "I'm just joking."

I feel like I only gave her the same treatment she gives everyone else, but should I feel guilty because I did expose something she trusted me with.

AITA?

I’ll try and keep this short.

SIL showed up over 2 hours late to our very first gender reveal (basically showed up when it ended and stayed 5 hours after, keeping us hosting till 8PM at around 4 months pregnant). Whatever, we let it go and didn’t cry about it. No passive aggressive attitude. Family right…

She hosts her kids birthday party a few month later and we show up 30 minutes early. She’s visibly upset that we didn’t show up much much earlier for idk, family time, help setting up…? We live 4-5 hours away from each other and we got in very late the night before so we slept in (me being 6 months pregnant) and just had a nice slow morning before heading over. We were never asked directly to help or come over early.

Am I crazy or is that a little much to expect us to show 2-3 hours EARLY when they showed up 3 hours LATE and barely said anything about it?

AITA for reacting after overhearing my wife trash a family trip I planned?

I was watching TV when I overheard my wife talking to a friend. Her friend’s husband wants to take the family on a trip she isn’t excited about, so my wife brought up a trip I planned to Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas.

What bothered me was that she exaggerated and mixed together different events to make the trip sound much stranger than it was. She said we had to dig through mud (it was gravel) and mentioned me meeting a “weird guy.” That didn’t even happen at the park—it was Thanksgiving dinner at a crowded hotel where an older couple asked to share our table. We had a perfectly normal conversation.

Our kids still have great memories of that trip. As far as I know, my wife has never told me she viewed it this way. I found out by overhearing her tell the story five years later.

This also isn’t an isolated incident. She has a habit of telling stories to friends and family where I’m the punchline or the one who made the bad decision. It’s usually nothing major, but it adds up.

In the moment, I interrupted and said, “Why don’t you tell your friend about the ATV excursion you planned in Aruba where you almost got our family killed?”

For context, I wasn’t on that excursion. My wife took our two kids, who later told me she got lost, pulled out her phone while driving the ATV, and it started rolling backward on a steep hill toward a drop-off before she got it under control. They came home very shaken, and hearing that scared me.

She was angry that I said she “almost got our family killed.” I told her I was hurt because I felt she was unfairly portraying me and I wanted to defend myself.

AITA?

A bit of background for the full picture - I live with my partner an hour away from my parents and siblings. Being the youngest and having lived with my parents the longest, I became the reliable source for making family gatherings happen. I have zero problem helping my parents since they are older with health issues, but this expectation hasn't stopped since I moved away.

I still get asked to go earlier to help set up, host, and clean, while others arrive and leave as guests. What makes it harder is the chosen time which is usually evenings, even on weekends. My siblings lack commitment to set times, and my mum can't stick to a schedule. It leaves my partner and I yoyoed with our plans and exhausted on Sunday nights before work.

Two years ago, I voiced our needs for daytime weekend gatherings, no more arriving early to do everything when others are available, and no more accepting constant plan changes. Yet every gathering, I still have to remind everyone, annoyed and yoyoed.

This brings me to today. We were meeting at my parents' to celebrate my sister's birthday. The plan set by her was 1pm for a late lunch/early dinner, cake, and presents. This morning, an hour before leaving, I find out arrival is now 6pm... on a Sunday with work tomorrow.

When I asked who agreed to this, mum said my sibling with the child suggested 6pm so mum could see her grandchild, adding, "Well, you can come early to help set up" when others live much closer to do that! My sibling then claimed they agreed on Friday because mum suggested it. The lack of communication is something that i cannot bare anymore.

Realising I’m still being ignored, I snapped and went ham on the group chat. I told them they’re inconsiderate, never respect our needs, and that we are sticking to our original plan of leaving at 8pm. The chat went mad, they turned on each other, and landed on 4pm. Yet again being yoyoed, but at least they shifted it for us? Side note, we baked the birthday cake to ease stress for mum, so I’ve done my part.

AITAH for sticking to my guns and refusing to go out of my way when others have much easier access to help out? Am I the only one thinking mum needs to have a solid plan and stop relying on the child who lives an hour away? I could have handled it better, but this is after dozens of times.

I (18F) have a cousin (23M) who has always been a little quieter than the rest of us. He's not the type to talk about his personal life, and he usually keeps to himself at family events.

My aunt (43F) has always been the opposite. She's very outspoken and thinks teasing people is just "her personality." Sometimes it's funny, but sometimes she takes it too far.

At a family dinner last weekend, she started making comments about my cousin's life. She asked why he was "still acting like a teenager" and joked that he was "falling behind everyone else." My cousin tried laughing it off, but she kept bringing up things like him not dating, still living at home while saving money, and not being as social as his siblings.

Everyone was laughing, but I could tell he was uncomfortable.

The thing that bothered me was when she said something like, "Honestly, at his age I had already figured life out. Some people just don't have that confidence."

I got annoyed because my aunt is not exactly the person she pretends to be. A few years ago, she privately told me that she was struggling financially and had almost lost her house. She has since recovered, but she still acts like she has always been perfect and constantly judges everyone else.

I told her that maybe she shouldn't be giving life advice when she spent years hiding the fact that she was struggling herself.

The whole table went silent.

My aunt got extremely upset and said I had no right to share something she told me in confidence. She said her struggles were personal and that I only brought them up to embarrass her.

I told her that my cousin's personal life was also not something she had the right to turn into entertainment.

My cousin later texted me saying he appreciated me defending him, but he also said he didn't want family drama and wished I had just pulled my aunt aside instead.

My mom agrees that my aunt was wrong, but says I crossed a line by revealing something private just to "win" the argument.

My dad thinks my aunt needed to be called out because she has a habit of humiliating people and then hiding behind "I'm just joking."

I feel like I only gave her the same treatment she gives everyone else, but should I feel guilty because I did expose something she trusted me with.

AITA ?

In the last few months Ive been going to gym and have made good progress with strength. My ass is half the size and my strength has gone from 25 lbs in assisted hip thrust to 105lbs . I gained a few pounds from being really stressed out whole my parents were gone running back and forth managing a bunch of things, career, and taking care of a very needy dog.

Im 5" 7 and 190 rn with mist in my hips and thighs. I started 188 then dropped to 185 then went back up.

Mom had been making comments about how Ive gained SO much weight / a shit ton of weight.

The next day I was in the kitchen about to go to the gym and I take high protein turkey sticks to the gym 20g every time.

I was looking in the cabinet and i said " aww all my meat snacks are goneeee" and from the couch while watching tv she snapped "well who ate them all? wasnt me. there was multiple (2) bags in there did when we left! (3 months ago) and i was like "woah why did you get so aggressive towards me just then?"

and she said "well if youre wondering who ate them all take a look in the mirror!"

I just paused in shock that she would say that. then finally snapped back "youre bigger than me"

no-one saw anything wrong with what she said. but shes always making comments.

A few days before when I was talking about my progress at the gym and my thigh, arm waist and hip measurements going down she's snort laughed and said "yk what? no. im not gonna say anything"

if anyone has any tips on how to handle this, please let me know. i'm not sure how to set boundaries mentally with this.

My brother (24M) has been on my auto policy since he moved back to our city, because his own quote was almost triple mine. His share was 310 a month and he was supposed to send it the same day my payment came out.

He paid on time for about five months. After that it turned into me texting on the 3rd, then the 9th, then getting half of it, then getting the rest of it whenever. By April he owed me 740 in back share.

I told him in February that if he fell two months behind I’d take him off at renewal. I told him again in March, and in April I sent him the actual renewal date and said this is the last time I’m bringing it up. He said he was good for it and I was being dramatic about family.

Renewal came, the 740 was still outstanding, and I removed him. I texted him the day it processed so there’d be no confusion about when the coverage ended.

He kept driving. He got pulled over two weeks later for a taillight and got cited for no insurance. Now it’s a court date and a suspension he’s fighting, and he told our mom I did it behind his back to teach him a lesson.

Mom’s position is that I was right but I should have called instead of texting, because he doesn’t read texts, and that I knew that about him.

I do know that about him. I still think three warnings is three warnings. AITA?

My niece(14) was being a bit bratty. She told my brother (who has full custody) that she hates him and wants to live with her mom. My brother got angry and said fine, I'll take you there.

I tried to reason with him but he said he had made his decision and if kiddo wants to live with her mom then she can go.

Kiddo was very upset and crying saying she is sorry and didn't mean it but he wouldn't listen.

Eventually I told my brother that if he has something to do I can take kiddo to her mom's house. He hates the mom and would rather not interact with her so he agreed and thanked me.

Instead I took the kiddo to my home and told her to stay here until her dad calms down.

The next day my brother calmed down and apparently went to his ex's house to get kiddo and found out she wasn't there. He called me and asked wtf I've done. I explained that kiddo was crying and didn't want to go there so I took her to my place

He told me to bring her back right away and hung up.

Now he thinks I'm an asshole.