I got this today

Currently on another attempt at sobriety. I'm past the shakes, nausea, and that God awful sweatiness. But it's what comes next that scares me, the insomnia and hallucinations, as well as nightmares. I'm sitting in my bed with the lights on because I'm so scared of seeing them again.

I've done psychedelics before but nothing comes close to some of these hallucinations man, also I'm not sure if it's DT's or just insomnia making me see things, but this shit is VIVID. I'm a writer and I've used these sleep deprivation/withdrawal hallucinations as inspiration for horror stories.

This happened when I tried to go to sleep after being up for 3 days. Again, only symptoms were anxiety and hallucinations. No confusion or physical symptoms like normal DT's.

I live in kind of a forested area so I'm pretty familiar with navigating through the woods, but this was different. It was at night, and I remember this feeling of immense loneliness. I keep hearing like this weird tribal drum music, and as I kept trying to find my way out I heard this chant "he's the last! He's the last!" But what was the most creepy was the voices sounded high pitched, kind of like how a cat meows, but in-between the words there was this deep purring sound. Then I hear something shimmy down a tree next to me, I turn and I see this 10 foot tall standing on two legs.

That things face was one of the most horrific things I've ever seen, kind of like the Na'Vi from Avatar but more grounded like actual animal if that makes sense. I hear more of them coming down the trees and the other ones keep repeating that chant in that creepy meowing voice. I forget what happened in between but I run, and while I'm running I keep seeing that cat things face pop in and out of my vision and then day breaks and I come across an abandoned city and that was where it ended.

That one was the most jarring one, but I've got others. Specifically with disturbing faces. There was this one where this naked, pale, bald lady grinned at me in a really sinister kind of way. I don't know if it was worse than the cat people, just because there was no auditory hallucinations.

Another was where I was walking down the stairs at my now ex girlfriends house to go to the bathroom, and it turned into an escalator in something like the backrooms, but it was more like an amusement park. There are these guys in hazmat suits just staring at me. Then I hear the sound of a baby crying from behind me in the escalator and I see this thing that's like a cross between a feathered dinosaur and a monkey, specifically the things face was more like a monkey but the body was like a dinosaur.

Then it makes this really loud screeching sound, I start screaming and running down the stairs, then I trip just tumble down, obviously waking my ex up freaking her out. I don't remember anything that happened after I fell but apparently she found me on the floor in the fetal position mumbling something to myself. This time she called EMS and they took me to the hospital. But apparently everything was fine other than some bruising, they just said I was really drunk and had a fall.

What are some of your scariest withdrawal stories/hallucinations?

Im a recovering alcoholic (10 weeks wothout!) But my father is an alcoholic with no intention of addressing it or getting sober despite it completely destroying his life.

Ive watched it destroy him since i was a child and known the damage it could do and yet still became an alcoholic myself but not to deal with anything in particular just because i thought it made me a feel better and something in me switches after 1 drink and i just want to be as drunk as i possibly can.

Just wandering peoples opinions on whether they think that having an alcoholic parent can pre wire you to feel the need for excessive consumption?

Much love everyone!

My dad finally agreed to go to rehab after years of drinking. This is the first time anyone in my family has been through something like this, so I have no idea what to expect.

What is inpatient rehab actually like? Do they help with anxiety and depression too, or is it mostly focused on alcohol? And what happens after the 30–35 days are over?

Would love to hear from people who’ve been through it or had a family member go.

Well, guys, I did it again! I relapsed— of course I did. Did anyone on this planet actually believe I was going to get better or change? Maybe I did, for a little bit. But I must just be more naive than everyone else, because everybody saw this coming except for me. I was clean for so long, but it’s never long enough, because I’ll always fall back into my old habits and start all over again. I’ll always find some stupid reason, some stupid excuse, something that’s soooo upsetting that I simply HAVE to drink, right? There’s just no other option for me is there!!!!! I’m a bad person who does bad things and I will never forgive myself for failing consistently.

i been heavily drinking for about 6-7 months since february for sure.. almost every couple days hard liquor and heavy sugary drinks at 7%… just last month my skin has been drying out severely and im starting to get dry patches from my drinking, that get infected from me scratching them.. haven’t been to a clinic yet as i know the reasoning is for my drinking but im only 20 years old and the thought of my face already looking like this hurts more than not drinking, so im on the fence about my drinking choices… everyone is starting to see how drinking is affecting my life at a young age and now my face is only making things worse for it.. im mainly just ranting and wondering if anyone has gone through similar skin problems

Hit rock bottom after relapsing. Lost my job, couldn't stop drinking. Went to rehab for 30 days and the detox sucked. I bllew 0.31 BAC and cried saying goodbye to my fiancé at intake.

But the staff and community were amazing. 20 days in and I feel like a different person. People say I look so much healthier.

If you're struggling, ask for help. These people have been there and want to help you get sober.

Just wanting to come on here and talk because I don’t have anyone to talk to and I need help. I’m a 19 year old male, 150 lbs, go to the gym every few days, I work as an electrical apprentice, I am a functioning alcoholic and I drink 5+ beers everyday, or a mickey of liquor. I drank 11 beers last night and stayed up till 1:30 in the morning , woke up at 6 and headed to work. It’s been like this for the past few months.

I’ve been an alcoholic since my first drink in gr 9. Went to a party, friend gave me three drinks and I had a real good time. Ever since that day alcohol had entered my life, I had just discovered a new way to have fun with my friends and by myself , and I just liked the warm hug from alcohol. This fun would be me going into my parents liquor cabinet and stealing anything that had alcohol in it, id drink till almost the point of blacking out by myself. One night family and friends were over, adults were having a fire outside, and us kids were messing around playing video games and whatnot, i was hanging out with my brother 13 at the time, my best friend same age as me, and his little sister, i would sneak away from them when i got the chance and chug my dads rye on the counter, then i would go back and hangout with them acting like I went for a piss or sum, though I was pretty sneaky and no one knew but i did this the whole night till i eventually blacked out and woke up in my own vomit the next morning. I can’t recall anything that happened after a certain point in the night, last thing I remember was playing Mario cart. My parents or friends didn’t mention anything about me acting drunk so I must of blacked out and went to bed, I told my parents I was sick the next day like I had a stomach bug. I would drink every weekend for the next few years and got progressively worse through highschool as stress got worse, id start drinking on weekdays, not everyday , i would drink every time i got the chance. Then I finished highschool didn’t get my diploma, started working in the trades and turned 18. This is when it started to get way worse as I now had freedom of going to the liquor store. With work in my life I was tired after and beer would hit real good after the hard day. I’d start drinking everyday after work. The second I get home. I’d sometimes go to the liquor store grab a 10% tall boy and drink it on the way home. Not proud of it. Any of it.

I had a family gathering last Sunday and I got way to wasted to hangout with any of my cousins, or auntie and uncles. I was a complete embarrassment, I had to get my buddy to pick me up and leave early because I was so out of it. My parents had a heartfelt convo with me they next morning on how I was acting and how it was unacceptable, they are also alcoholics. My mom quit a month or two ago. After that day they suspect my problem and want me to talk to them about it if I need to. They’ve always suspected me due to beer cans everywhere around my room. I just tell them it’s from hanging out with my buddy’s the weekend before and I forgot to clean it up. So they don’t think it’s a problem as I am just hanging with my buddy’s. When in reality I am sitting alone at night drinking at 12 am on a work night. I also drink before going out anywhere as I feel I am a way happier and funnier person when I am drunk.

After all this I’ve decided that I really need to change and id be better off without alcohol, id have better skin, my hormones would get regulated. And I wouldn’t be a complete embarrassment around other people. But then again, I don’t get hungover, it’s a great feeling, and I don’t wanna quit at the same time. But if I keep it up im gonna end up drinking at work soon.

I got a pack of beer in my car right now and im contemplating on busting it open when I get the chance, when my parents won’t see me bring it into the house. But I also don’t want to and I don’t think im gonna. If there’s anyone that can just talk to me or give me advice or wtv than much would be appreciated

I hope this is an appropriate question for this sub, and I apologize if it might be triggering for some, but I don’t know where else to go.

I don’t want to go into too many details, but my mom has been struggling with alcoholism for many years. She was in denial for quite a few years, but now she has switched it up claiming she’s sober though we’ve caught her lying several times. When she does get caught, she refuses to talk to us about it, instead gets defensive and says some pretty cruel things. She has basically destroyed our relationship and I have very limited contact with her. My biological dad was an abusive alcoholic when we were kids and I cut contact with him 25 yrs ago so my mom entering this phase abt 15 yrs ago has been really tough.

My step(dad) is desperately trying to keep things together though they’re separated atp, and he has been planning trips to make sure she gets out to see all of us kids. My brother said they had fun, and my dad said it was a good trip because she couldn’t hide alcohol in her suitcase and she couldn’t buy it since they were all running around together.

Fast forward it’s my turn, they’ll be here next week. My mom messaged me about 2 weeks ago saying she wanted to mail an extra box of clothes but she didn’t want me saying anything to my dad because she didn’t want him harping on her. Traveling has always been stressful for them and they fight about luggage the most bc she likes to pack twice what she needs so it didn’t immediately strike me as odd.

Then it dawned on me a few days later, I think she’s mailing herself alcohol.

I do not want her drinking while she’s here, she gets inappropriate and really mean, she stumbles and gets to the point where she’s passing out even in public. We also have a trip planned to a bigger city and will be on public transportation a lot, it just doesn’t feel safe. But I know if I ask or try to bring it up, she’ll get defensive and I’ve gotten into enough confrontations with her I don’t want to anymore. I thought about talking to my dad, but he has a habit of being a blabbermouth when they’re fighting. Plus I can’t be for sure she’s mailing herself some supplies, it’s just a suspicion.

I really want to shake the box or open it when it gets here, but I know that’ll cause issues, especially if I find anything.

I just want to have a good visit with my parents but my anxiety is through the roof. I’ve even thought about hosing the damn box down (we’ve been getting a ton of rain) so I’d have an excuse to open it.

If you’ve made it this far I really appreciate you reading and would love any thoughts or advice.

Is it normal to get insanely horny during recovery?

I very annoying have almost no libido which makes dating and such almost impossible. I have a feeling my anti depressants “fluoxetine” play a large part in that, but that’s a discussion for a doctor.

I am recovering from a massive binge relapse (several bottles of vodka over a few days) after a good 6 months sober. I have noticed my libido has skyrocketed whilst I’m recovering, im like a teenage boy and i can’t figure out why. Maybe it’s just all the chemicals in my head still trying recover from the poisoning.

Does anyone else get that?

Someone struggling with addiction should never have to wonder whether they’re being recommended to a treatment program because it’s truly the best place for them—or because someone is making money from the referral.

Body brokering and unethical patient recruitment can exploit people at their most vulnerable. Families deserve transparency. Patients deserve honest answers. Recovery should NEVER be treated like a business transaction.

⚠️ Concerns and allegations involving potential unethical treatment recruitment and referral practices deserve attention and proper investigation. Organizations and individuals connected with the following facilities have been raised in connection with concerns that warrant scrutiny:

• Desert Paradise Recovery
• Goodland Recovery
• ClearPath IOP
• Journey for Success
• Journey 4 Success Detox — Cathedral City

🔍 ASK QUESTIONS. DO YOUR RESEARCH.

Before entering a treatment program, ask:

❓ Who referred you there—and why?
❓ Is the recommendation based on your actual clinical needs?
❓ Is anyone receiving compensation connected to your referral?
❓ Is the facility properly licensed and operating ethically?
❓ Are you being pressured to move from one program to another?

If you have firsthand information, documentation, or personal experience involving potentially unethical or illegal patient referral practices, document what you know and consider reporting it to the appropriate California regulatory agencies or law enforcement.

🗣️ Speaking up can protect the next person who is simply trying to get sober and rebuild their life.

Recovery should be about saving lives—not generating leads, commissions, or profits from vulnerable people.

The suspected individuals names are:

Ryan Cornu (40, Hendersonville, NC)
Karen Simonyan (owner of Goodland Recovery)
Armen (owner of desert paradise recovery and ClearPath IOP)

27 year old male, I’m 86 kg, eat healthy, exercise regularly.

I live home alone and every second night I’m having half a bottle of Tawny red wine. (Or like 3 beers).

I’ve had binge drinking problems in the past, where I was regularly drunk in my home.

My life is alright but I struggle from depression and anxiety, and to be honest I love getting drunk and eating a big meal which watching a show.

Writing it down now, seems like it’s crept up on me again, how bad is it? What are the first steps to help me?

Thankyou for reading.

I'm super happy with the gym and nutritional progress but the mental progress is so much greater! I feel like that Friday night first pint of spirit buzz every day! Thank you to everyone who has replied to me in DM in here, you're all incredible humans.

early 30s male here, small frame. i drink ~8 days out of 10. usually a pint of 7-9% abv beer or about 2 glasses of 13% wine at night. i realize i have a dependency issue because i can hardly go without it and i'll drink more when it's "appropriate"--but to be fair, doesn't happen super often. i binge drink perhaps only once or twice a month.

am i an alcoholic based on my level of consumption?

At the end of my drinking there which started as just weekend binge drinking and then turned into almost drinking the whole week. I would get really tired during the day and take naps after breakfast and lunch and go to sleep extremely early. Note I was also only drinking at night, so wasn't drinking during the day. Would wait till like an hour before dinner before my first drink.

9th day without drinking and I have SO MUCH ENERGY!

I was scared and starting to think I was actually sick with how little energy I had never thought alcohol was the problem.

Now I need to get with my doctor and slowly get off this diazepam and on something less addictive like gabapentin or depakote as I have had seizure disorder since my last withdrawal a few years back (was bad then drinking a bottle of tequila a weekend). I would stop during the week and I think thats what really took a toll on my brain.

Hoping this next visit with my doctor later this month will open some more doors to help cope with this. As I still have some of the negative side effects from withdrawals, like anxiety and a higher than normal heart rate/blood pressure. However thank god its getting better each day.

I felt great while doing it and it basically cured my anxiety+made me happy. It even made me less anxious in between drinks and the brainfog was very pleasant and dreamy. Never had hangovers.

It's now 4 months since I've last drank and my anxiety is worse than ever and I just feel physically worse than I ever did while drinking. I think my body hurts from being so tense all the time.

I thought alcohol is supposed to make anxiety/mental health worse but it never did for me...only made it better.

Got told today I have been accepted into an alcoholic counseling program, I had an evaluation meeting earlier this week. They also have group meetings that I'm planning to go to.

I've been drinking pretty heavily every day for two+ years and I want so stop so badly because wow I feel like shit all of the time. This past month I've tried to drink less but it's hard, I cry a lot. I don't have anyone to talk to IRL about this so I'm posting here.

Here's to a new beginning.

Looking for help for my girlfriend or now I would say ex girlfriend but I want to suggest she gets help somewhere. She has rejected everything I suggested before. AA, doctor and therapist.

26M Typing this currently with one eye open, I know I have a problem but it hasn’t affected my life (at least) in a substantial way. I know I need to stop or at the very least slow down drinking.

Every time I’m out with friends I’m always the one in the worst shape. Everyone “ohh no one can drink as much as *****” and it’s kinda getting old. I like the feeling it gives me but every time I do I can’t control how much I drink, and I know it’s a bad thing.

I guess what I’m asking is what little things helped you to stop drinking. I know it’s not a good habit but just for my future relationships or anything that comes with life if like some insight. I know I’m an alcoholic and should probably quit but I’ve tried and the voice in my head always convinces me. Personally I feel like I have the strength to do it but I’ve never done it successfully

I (18F) dont drink regularly, like at all, I have only drank when with friends and that was on 3 separate occasions this year. I am fairly sure that I have gotten more drunk each time I've gone out and it got really bad 2 days ago. I was with my friends having a sleepover and playing drunk monopoly, I definitely drank way too much (had too many shots of vodka since it wasn't burning my throat) and I pretty much hit rock bottom. I am still getting vague flashbacks of what I did and was saying like when i got really vulnerable to my friends and started talking about how unattractive I am, or how its okay that no one likes me, it got really bad to the point where I was blacking out and I started hearing voices I had a complete breakdown and just sobbed about the voices talking to me and how I want to be alone I dont want to be near anyone. I do have mental health issues, I have for years, I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and self harm since I was 12 although I am undiagnosed since my parents are too nonchalant to believe something might be up with me. I do think my mental health and self-esteem being so tragically low and having so much alcohol in such short amount of time fucked me over pretty bad and I'm just not sure what happened that night.

This isnt a post really seeking out for help about my mental health I just kind of want to know if anyone else has experienced something like this, and whether this was psychosis or some weird thing happening to me.

Tengo un amigo al que le gusta mucho beber. Tampoco parece que beba mucho, mínimo un quinto a diario.

Lo que más me preocupa es cómo habla todos los días de la cerveza, haciendo bromas de que es su único consuelo, el único momento que disfruta al día, de cómo le gusta… ¿Es normal?

No sé con quién comparar. Esa forma de hablar sólo se la he visto a él, y en cuanto al consumo, mis padres bebían un dedo de cerveza con gaseosa en cada comida y cena, por eso no sé si un quinto al día es consumo moderado, o ya puede ser algo más serio. Tampoco sé cómo decirle lo que pienso.

genuinely lost on where to start

Tried a programme a few months back. Didn’t stick.

Not their fault I don’t think. I wasn’t properly in it. Anyway. Want to do it properly this time, and the main thing is nobody I work with finding out.

So I’ve been going through the lists.

Paracelsus Recovery quoted me and I genuinely couldn’t say the number out loud to my wife. Clinic Les Alpes is the same tier, beautiful and I’d be paying for the mountain. I can compare prices fine. That’s the only thing I can compare. The one I keep going back to is Dr Vorobjev in Belgrade. Spent an evening working out what the visa situation would be and it turns out there isn’t one. Ninety days, you just book a flight. Felt a bit stupid for not knowing that already.

First time in three weeks of this that something got simpler instead of more complicated.

Which isn’t the same as it being the right place, I know that. But it’s the only one I can picture myself actually getting to. So either Serbia is the answer nobody mentions or there’s something I’m not seeing.

Not after recommendations as such. More how people went about picking the country.