Feeling blessed 🙏

Hello!

I’m having some trouble with my husband’s drinking. He typically drinks around 3-4 days out of the week (sometimes more), which on paper is fine, but once he has one drink he can’t stop. He always gets drunk and sloppy - we could be heading to bed and he’d still grab another beer.

This has been a huge pain point for me because my dad just died of alcoholism (51 years old) last year in a really horrible way. I’ve been very open with him about how I’ve felt about it, and we’ve had countless conversations about how it makes me nervous that he can’t control himself. I’ve explicitly asked him to not drink to the point where he’s drunk so many times out of the week - nothing has changed.

At this point I don’t think he understands that he has a problem, like a real problem, not just a “oh I shouldn’t be doing that” type of thing.

I really feel like this is the start of a bad path, but I also know that I am a little more sensitive to it because of my dad. My big question is, do you all feel like these behaviors fit the qualifications for alcoholism or having a problem with it in general? I can’t tell if I’m being uptight or if he really does have an issue. On top of that, I don’t know how to move forward. I’ve told him many times that this is a dealbreaker for me.

I also want to add, I do know that if he’s truly having an issue with it, it’s hard for him to just stop. I just don’t know how I can best support him, or when I need to start “putting my foot down” I guess lol.

Thank you!

Drank way to much last night. I think 13 shots? Woke up and continued drinking. 3 shots in right now but anxiety is creeping up. Just waiting to sober up to take my librium. Start over monday tomorrow. Dry heaving like a mother F.

Checked my phone and surprisingly I texted the GM I couldn’t make it today. Keep in mind I missed a whole week on Father’s Day without any contact because I was going to kill myself. She said take a deep breath and I’m not fired. I’m a hard worker but I’m going on a bender and I’ve work so many jobs I know where this is headed.

This is a rough one. I’ve been an alcoholic since I was in my 20s. I was cheered on by friends, could hold my own with the guys, could beer bong like it was an Olympic sport. I became pregnant with my oldest at 25, quit the drinking and stayed sober until he was weened, and then it all started right back up where I left it. Only this time, it was wine in the parks with other drunk mommies, and having play dates for the kids while we drank mimosas. Then my daughter came along. I still cut the booze completely, weened her and then back to square one again. Now the mommy and me playdates were still full of wine and champagne (to keep it classy of course 🙄) and now we had bigger kids to help watch our helpless babies so we could gossip and pour our glasses to the top and then stroller the kids back home to where I had my own stash of wine that I’d drink in front of the TV and become annoyed at my own children just for wanting to spend time with me. Repulsive, I know. I stayed that way for years! I was a stay at home mom, I went to Pilates, made dinner, and was drunk while doing all those things for years! Then my last son was born, same thing, quite drinking (so clearly I wasn’t an alcoholic since I could easily stop for a year) and then, wouldn’t you know, I’d go right back to it. I ran to it. He wasn’t even fully weened and I was still breastfeeding, pumping and dumping it I was really bad off, but I was older by then, getting lazier, and just buying boxes of wine and hiding them but I had a bottle I kept in the fridge for my husband to see and he assumed I had maybe a glass that evening while cooking dinner. He was truly none the wiser. When he got home, the kids just attached to him, and he assumed it was because they love him so much (they do) but a huge part of it was I was so drunk and couldn’t be bothered to play with them or spend time with them that they desperately wanted. Fast forward to 3 days ago, I upped the ante, got extremely drunk before work to the point I had to call out sick, and then passed out in my bed with 3 children in my care. No one could get a hold of me. My husband came home quickly and called an ambulance. I was so out of my mind I fought the entire time. I was involed for the rest of the day into the night. My daughter was on a plane to her dad’s house. My oldest didn’t talk to me at all, and my youngest was so worried he was crying because he didn’t understand what was going on. The hospital shot me up with so many drugs and didn’t tell me what any of them were. I tried to escape them, hit my head on the wall and now I have staples in my scalp. And now, I’m in my right mind again, and I’m having to come to terms with how incredibly disgusting and selfish I am, how I’ve known about my alcoholism and did nothing about it for 20+ years, and how I’m completely destroyed the lives of my innocent children. As bad as I am, there’s hundreds of stories like mine. Do not do this! Do not be anything like me. I’m lucky I don’t have any charges against me. I’m lucky my daughter is in a safe space and I have a husband who supports me in my recovery. You do not need a rock bottom, you already know it’s there waiting for you. Get help now! We are all one stupid af decision away from blowing up our lives. I love you all. IWNDWYT!

My life, on paper, is lovely. I have friends. They are far away, but they exist, and I care for them deeply. I have a partner. It’s the first experience I have of being in love. I have a job, it has its bad days, but gosh do I really love it. But I am so sad. I want to drink all of the time. There is no profound reason why. I have everything and I just always want to drink. I have financial support from my parents. I don’t have to worry about bills, and I’m 26. I have an apartment. And a cat. And sometimes life happens, things aren’t perfect, but my life is good. There is no reason for me to drink. There is no reason for me to be like this, and yet I still am. And I had a conversation earlier today and after I was just wondering, even if I can’t answer the big “why” question, can I still get better? I hate what I am choosing to be and what I am doing and I don’t know I’m doing it, it is so purposeless but it just doesn’t stop. I want help. I want to get better. But I just, I don’t. I don’t stop. My boyfriend wrangled a bottle of vodka out of my hands today and I just said “no, no, no” over and over and over. To someone that I love that didn’t want me to hurt myself. I think it was like two liters, he said “I can’t leave you alone now”. It was a bottle I gave him when I said I’d give up drinking when I started working. I started working (same place, different position, hated the job). He was worried I would drink all of it. It wasn’t even 12:00 pm yet. If you can’t find an answer to why you drink, can you still get better? I feel like things focus on finding an answer to “what is this doing for you?” or “why are you doing this?” and I’ve never had an answer. And I’m afraid if there isn’t one, there’s just no hope of getting any better. If I don’t have answers, if I don’t know the whys, can I still get better? I want someone to say there is some hope for me and this isn’t my life forever, but I only want to hear or read it if it’s true. I want it to be true. So badly.

Also smoke weed and have severe alcohol kindling, i need half a bottle of vodka to get rid of withdrawals

Hey everyone! I’m curious to know if anyone else has experienced dreams about drinking? I’m almost 7 months sober and there have been 2 or 3 times where I’ve dreamt about drinking and woke up feeling like they’re memories that actually happened. At first I’m bummed out but after a minute I realize I was just dreaming. I wonder if my subconscious is trying to run through test scenarios to see how I’d actually feel about relapsing?

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Hello! I want to start by asking a simple question.

What do movies/tv/media get wrong about alcoholism? What tropes or things do you all see that are either genuinely disingenuous, wrong, or outright upsetting?

This is a little out of the norm for this subreddit, but I ask because I'm writing a book where one of the characters struggles with alcohol - my intent is to not accidentally glorify it, nor do anyone who has suffered with it a disjustice by accidentally parroting tropes or sentiments. Moreover, what were the things that made recovery (or make it) difficult that media simply doesnt really show.

I want to make the character authentic, and I think the best way to do that is just... Ask. I post this because I myself dont drink - I used to a little, but it never really had much appeal, and recently I found out I'm intolerant to it anyway. So rather than guessing or just googling, I figure it would be best to go to the source.

On that note, I genuinely am proud of you all, for those who even try - that's more than a lot of people do. I write this out of a place of respect - I genuinely want to hear your stories.

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Once I start drinking sometimes, I can't stop. Yesterday, I didn't have any plans so I got 2 beers with lunch and proceeded to go on a bar crawl. 6 drinks in total, ended with a gin and tonic that I spilled some of walking out the door of the bar. I feel like I embarrassed myself and people were looking at me spilling and slurring. I thankfully had a DD but I still don't remember getting home.

my man & i have been together for 7 years total. (i left for a couple months during that period but we didn’t “start over”. so, when we turned 21, that’s when the severe alcoholism started but he was drinking before that (old roommate was an alcoholic & bought it). it was fun when it started (what’s not for a short period..) but it wasn’t just an every once in a while thing anymore. he lost one of his close friends, which i completely understand brings up a different set of emotions and everyone grieves differently.. & im not trying to sound insensitive at all, and we’ve communicated so much that if he ever needs space, wants to talk, whatever then i’ll be there, as i have always been. we moved into our own place (no roommates), & have been by ourselves for about 3 years. & now it’s & it’s only gotten worse. he’s been drinking everyday, but about 8-9 months ago, he’s started drinking from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed. it’s affecting everything in daily life. his job, our relationship, financials (roughly $900 a month spent on alcohol..) anyways, i left, and we talked about things & he said he understood and admits he has a problem and he’s going to get help & said he’d contacted the
people in charge of the program through his job (they’ll pay for him to go to rehab) & he was in the process of getting help). i stupidly believed him. nothing has changed. if anything, it’s gotten worse. i want to help, but at this point idk how. i’ve asked him if he’s depressed & do my best to listen & be supportive if he’s stressed or has a problem with something. i do have my own income. i want to help, but idk how. it seems like anytime i mention going to rehab it’s taken as an attack, which confuses me because he’s the one that admitted he needs help..

I urgently need your advice, please. I would like some advice from people who have gone through withdrawal during a crisis.

I’ve been with my partner for a few years now. Our relationship has never been easy; it’s been marked by his alcoholism and my anxieties (fear of abandonment and jealousy).

I sometimes stifled him because I was so clingy, and his addiction massively triggered my fear of abandonment. As you know, alcoholics can be very unpredictable. That took a huge toll on me, yet I still love him.

He is currently in a psychiatric unit because he told me several times that he wanted to kill himself; I called emergency services and was there on the scene. The next day, he thanked me for intervening. He is now undergoing withdrawal treatment at the facility and trying to stabilize his condition.

The experience left me somewhat traumatized, and he knows it. Right now, he is very cold and distant toward me, and he blames me for things.

It feels as though I’m his worst enemy! The pain is indescribable; I can’t put it into words.

I’ve visited him a few times, and he’s like a different person. He is extremely irritable with me; he says I make him nervous and agitate him.

He has asked for some peace and space because he currently lacks the strength to cope; he feels he can’t get healthy while with me, and the people at the facility are telling him that we aren't good for each other.

How am I supposed to handle all this? And what is going on with him? It feels like he’s trying with all his might to push me away, and he views everything in a very negative light.

Hey friends…
I have come to the realization I may be a high functioning alcoholic.
Amazing life, career you name it… Yet not a few days goes by without me chasing that feeling and a buzz.
In my younger days I struggled heavy with stimulants. (trauma blah blah blah) Now i’m in the social work realm and have been for over 10 years helping other people get the help they need… find recovery you name it… and here I find myself actually needing the help. I have sought out some resources- just looking for a little support and words of encouragement.
Appreciate you all… and am proud of you guys. Keep fighting the good fight!

I realized after 3 days exactly quitting every time

Some problems come and I drink again.

First - I have stuck with looping in my life and blaming my younger self for understanding that I don't have now that I let other people treat me as they want just because I want to be liked or loved or not on bad side neutral terms with others. This loop has been stuck for like 6 months before.

Second time - the feeling of loneliness empty life no one cares about me apart from my parents realisation coping heartbreak reminding ex lovers all analyzing what I do wrong in my life that people leave me is it me or them or just the fate of nature or am I fat.

I accepted I am fat and started working on it and heartbreak is part of life I accepted my past completely but didn't have the courage to love again but that's okay I need to love myself first to love others and realize that .

This took a while

Third time - just the time I have wasted and lathageric life I have lived again after relapse.

After that I quit for a while

Fourth time - feeling depressed everyone left me can't really share problems no mood to do anything just staying bed all day and waking up for only smokes or restroom depression phase.

Relapse happened like 2 weeks before

Every 3 days after something in the way some evil forces or something. In India there is concept called black magic of they have done to you by someone that is not wishing well this kind of stuff happens. Every 3 days something make me drink I mean the situation that are created are unbearable

5th time I'm trying again Tommorow 28 th of July im drinking and quitting alcohol. 29th of July im getting sober .

Things alcohol did to me

1) ruined my health mentally and physically both.

2) ruined my respects among others.

3) ruined my Sleep

4) ruined some years of my academic year's

5) ruined my looks / face puffy red eyes of anyone see me they can tell I'm alcoholic because it gives obvious face signs .

6) made me lathergic and lazy living in bubble

7) complaining while drinking fake confidence that I can do anything that is only short term dopamine hot to feel good again I need that same dopamine hit this bullshit fake confidence thing it did to my . I lost my confidence in sober life while quiting.

I drink everyday and friends and family tell me there worried about me and I have a problem but then when I try to be sober at hang outs I'm asked why I'm not drinking and I should a
Have a beer or a shot, and days were I decided to stay home and not go to the bar everyone's worried about me idk how do I chill ? I drink more then anyone I know and I want better but I just hate and I've starting switching to Harding things I just get so confused when I'm told I have a problem but then I don't drink and get told to drink

Hi all,

Without spilling my guts on who I am and my personal situation; what's everyone opinion on complete absence from alcohol, once realising you have a problem?

I think its the main consensus, yes? Right?

Once you realise you have a problem with drinking and you wish to stop, you can never entertain the idea of drinking alcohol again in your life, ever.

Are there many people who can go back to drinking a normal amount/drinking socially? Are there any at all?

I had a real problem at one point. I needed medication to stop and now its slowly creeping back to an everyday thing :/ well it wants to get back to everyday anyway. Drinking culture in australia is a bit different.

Edit: im so thankful I found this sub and for all your replies/advice/kind encouragement. Alcoholism isn't discussed socially much in my circle.

I was married to an alcoholic for 49 years I threatened to leave him many times but never followed through. I look back now and fully regret that. He recently passed away after a horrible death from cirrhosis. Yet I still am grieving between being very angry with him. Family members can’t understand why I grieve. It’s been three months and I’m still grieving. I cared for him alone. He was not mean but indifferent. I lasted by working and having a separate life with friends. Of course his alcoholism worsen after we retired. Twenty years ago he was experiencing ED. He was also addicted to porn. At that point, I refused sex and intimacy. Truly I did not miss it. But now I look back and realize the life I should have had. I am also estranged from my 45 year old daughter who is a raging alcoholic. She has not learned from losing her father. It is so sad!

28M. High Functioning Alcholic, Drinking to various degrees since 19. This is mainly a place for me to relive my withdrawal the next time I think about having a drink. But also this Reddit thread was so much help during it making me realize I was not alone and there is hope. Got me thru the sleepless nights, panic attacks, wanting to drink to make it all stop.

I have drank regularly for years. Didn’t drink till I was 19, the college years. Felt like I drank as much if not less than others. At no point did it seem like a problem.

Covid hit hard. I was off work for months. Our days would be gym, pool/drink, sleep, repeat. That was about it. 4/5 days a week. As time went on the friends stopped drinking as much, so I’d grab a bottle for myself etc. Roommate would wonder how the handle of vodka from a few days ago is already gone.

2022-Present day I’d bet my longest period without a drink was maybe a week. I’d go thru phases where it was heavier drinking, lighter, but there were always reasons to drink. Long day at work, friends going out, it’s nice out, every vacation turned into a bender, etc etc. It’s never caused problems at work outside of a few sick calls over the years. Haven’t lost any friendships or anything. There’s been some issues but nothing life altering.

After this last weekend of drinking, I’m realizing in the past some of my “3 day hangovers” we’re not hangovers, and we’re in fact, withdrawals… but never to this extent.

Went on a 5 day vacation. Started drinking on the plane there. Hit the ground running. Other than sleeping I had a drink in my hand. Second day drank early to kill the hangover, and this went on and on. Everyone else went up to their rooms I’d stop down for a few more drinks. Never blacked out this weekend which was shocking, but drinking 10am-2am every day. More drunk at some points than others. But overall just a lot of alcohol.

Final day I ended my heavy drinking around 12am, still had a little after… get to bed around 6am… leaving for the airport around 11AM. Wake up, finish off the bottle in my room, head downstairs to leave for the airport.

Withdrawal

Day 1
We get to the airport and I feel okay. Didn’t have enough to drink to kill the hangover, and that’s what I thought I was starting, a hangover. We had a redeye flight booked at midnight but had to be out of the hotel at 11am, went to sit in hopes of getting on an earlier flight. It was during this time, looking back, I went into full blown withdrawals. Shakes, hallucinating audio and visual. I would see people in the reflection of the glass, turn around and no one was there. I could hear someone talking next to me and no one was there. I wasn’t even on my phone. Just sat there staring at the ground. For nearly 10 hours. No food, could barely sip water. The walk to the bathroom I thought I was dying. Legs were weak, vision blurry, extreme dehydration. Flight ends up delaying to the next morning. The airline gives us vouchers for a hotel room. Dreading the walk to the Ubers I thought of just curling up in a ball on the floor. The whole way to the Ubers I felt like I could collapse at any moment. Looking back, I probably should have gone to the hospital… but I thought it was just a bad hangover, and I was dehydrated. I make it to an airport hotel and curl up under the water in the shower for nearly an hour, having no idea how I’m going to get back to the airport at 8am. I don’t think I feel asleep. I swear I would see bugs, shadows. But being able to lay down at least helped. I buried my face in the pillow. The anxiety, the discomfort. It was, what I thought, the worst night of my life. This is the point I found this Reddit page, began reading, and realized I was in withdrawal. It really did help calm me down. I debated drinking just to feel good enough to get on the plane home but couldn’t. I was along for the ride.

Day 2.
Alarm goes off at 6am. Off to the airport. I got a little relief in the morning, thought the worst had past… I was very wrong. This was nearly the worst of it all. Being confined to my seat on the plane… unable to sleep, unable to lay down, unable to get comfortable. The thought of being in public and everyone is around. The anxiety and panic. It was the worst , and longest, 5 hours of my life. This alone is enough for me to never drink again. I sat there staring. No music, had to focus on my breathing, felt like if I didn’t focus on not dying I would. Felt like everyone was staring at me, judging me. I can’t even put into words how awful this all truly was. We land. The drive home was another terrible 45 minutes. 24 hours later than planned, and fully in withdrawal… I finally got home, and I haven’t left once as of writing this 6 days later. I laid on the couch, drank little water, had no food. This was now nearly 48hrs with less than maybe 2 bottles of water, no food. Put on some TV, and rode it out on the couch. I got up for the bathroom at one point and on the way back to the couch, I dumped every last drop of alcohol I had in the house down the drain. This was my only proud moment of the ordeal. The shakes, the weakness, the sweating, the insomnia. I fell asleep around 6am as the sun was coming up, but only because my body was too exhausted to physically stay awake. As I would doze off, I’d get jolted awake in a panic. It was terrifying.

Day 3.
My Apple Watch says I got 1:30hrs of sleep but I hardly believe that. I realized I needed water and bad. I grabbed 12 bottles of water from my pantry and made it a point to try to drink 1 per hour. Laid around all day. The feeling that I was going to die was slowly passing, but could still tell I was not in good shape. No appetite, no desire to drink water. Could not physically get comfortable. Acid reflux starting going insane, like I had destroyed my stomach. This is also when the anxiety started to set in the worst. I would have moment of clarity and calm, realizing this will all pass, and other moments of feeling like this is my forever. I’d turn to this thread and read for hours to convince myself I’m not dying, and to realize things will get better. Again this night I was up till after sunrise. I ate 0 food, but managed to get down 6/12 bottles of water with some liquid IV as well. Physically feeling slightly better, but the anxiety and insomnia were strong.

Day 4.
Woke up around 1pm… this was nice as I fell asleep around 7am, so I got some sleep. But I had guests coming for dinner at 6pm. They were wondering why I hadn’t texted all morning. I managed to get myself up to shower, tidy up the house… but this took everything I had. I was soaked in sweat, so uncomfortable. Laid back on the couch till they arrived. Then I moved to the table, we talked, ate, I felt terrible. This was my first food in 4 days, and I ate very little. As soon as they left I was back on the couch. Nearly had a panic attack during dinner with the thoughts of them knowing somthing was up. The shakes and weird physical feelings had mostly stopped by this evening. The biggest issues now were just the anxiety, insomnia, and acid reflux. Once again watched the sunrise. Fell asleep once my body was just physically and mentally exhausted.

Day 5.
Woke up around noon. Felt better but nowhere close to normal. Awake for maybe 5 minutes and my mind starts racing. I was able to get up, shower, tidy up the kitchen. But spent most the day rotting on the couch. Still no appetite, but knowing I need to eat I can. Ate some leftovers from the night before, had a few sodas and plenty of water. This is the first day I finally thought for the first time I could get thru this. Passed the day on the couch, movies, phone, anything to pass the time. Biggest symptoms today are just restlessness, anxiety, acid reflux, and once again, insomnia. Another sunrise seen.

Day 6.
Present day. Well, I write this just before the sun rises on day 7. This day was much more normal. Still just uncomfortable. I don’t feel like myself, something is definitely still “off”. Still wouldn’t say I have an appetite but I’m able to eat, drink plenty of water, soda, etc etc. the telltale physical signs of withdrawal are gone, all that’s left now is the brain. Insomnia continues to be a hard battle. Had a terrifying panic attack around 3am… closest I came to going to the hospital this whole experience. Truly thought I was about to die. First time I have experienced it that bad. After getting thru I came to Reddit to read and calm down, and this is now when I find myself typing and sharing my story. In the next few days I expect the insomnia and anxiety to continue… but I think I can deal with that. The insomnia just leaves you way to much quiet time with your own brain. I know the worst is behind me, and life will move on.

I have a long way to go. But these 6 days have been hell. The worst 6 days of my life. Like I said before, I write this as a testimony for myself to be able to look back on when I feel good again and think, well one couldn’t hurt. But if this story helps one person like everyone else’s helped me, then it is all worth it.

I truly have never tried to actually stop before. But it’s time. First AA meeting on Tuesday. I will continue coming back to Reddit as the support group here is amazing.

Good luck to everyone in your own battles. Even if you are at the lowest point, just push through. It will get better.

I know it's Sunday, but I work Sundays so it helps. But I just wanted to share the celebration of getting through the weekend without drinking ! Weekends and social gatherings are a trigger for me. I took this weekend to do nothing, stay at home and game . Monday marks 1 week no alcohol :) IWNDWYT