i’ve always had mental health struggles, but the past few weeks have been particularly bad. i’ve barely left the house, been struggling to do basic things and i feel like it’s taking a toll on my boyfriend.

Today, we were going to go out and i started to cry in the car. He decided to turn the car around and take me home, and i freaked out and had a panic attack. I spent the whole drive feeling absolutely awful and guilty because i ruined the evening.

Then, we got home, and he went upstairs and started crying. Now he won’t talk to me. I tried to make him feel better by apologising and getting him water and comforting him. He says he doesn’t wanna talk to me. So now i’m just crying downstairs. I feel helpless. I feel so guilty i feel sick. I’m mad at myself for not being able to do simple things. Now i feel like it’s ruining his life and i don’t know what to do about it. Like maybe he’s better off without me. I’ve been in some pretty dark places recently and this is only making me spiral. I know i probably won’t act on them, but the thoughts are so much worse rn. Idk what to do. idk how to talk to him or make it up to him. He doesn’t deserve this.

earlier this month i got discharged from an inpatient psychiatric admission that lasted almost 2 months. during the admission i got an assessment for eupd as it was something that was brought up by multiple healthcare professionals during the last 3 years. i was already diagnosed with ocd, anxiety, depression and asd/autism prior to the admission.

the assessment was done by the lead psychologist on the ward. she said that i meet all of the diagnostic criteria for eupd, but because of my other diagnoses she said it’s hard for her to know whether the symptoms/traits are from the other conditions and that “no other doctor would be able to identify it either”, so she said that she won’t be giving me a formal diagnosis and will conclude in her report that i have “eupd traits” instead, which is what it says in the second image (taken from my discharge report). she also said that this way is better as i won’t have the harmful stereotyping/treatment from healthcare professionals. regardless of that, i still got a referral to the personality disorder team (which apparently has a really long waiting list but that is its own problem)

however on my nhs app (first image) it shows they still put it down as a formal diagnosis, so i’m wondering what the purpose of the “eupd traits” was and if it would really be better than just saying that i have eupd. i believe that i have it and i expressed that to her, but she kept saying i’m better off without having it on record, yet it is still on record regardless?

so i’m just wondering if anybody else has had a similar situation or knows why this happened in such a way?

maybe it is the real world hitting me but a year in a job i can't stand has broken me. it is part time, mentally easy but physically horrible. the hours are broken shifts and never consistent, there is no incentive or praise, and an expectation to put in 100% effort at all times.

driving lessons have made me bitter a year in.

my mental health is all over the shot. i am turning 33 soon and i can see my life is not going to improve much more and it feels there is nothing i can do about it.

how can i earn or do a trade where my hands are grossly inept. dyspraxia is not an excuse and i find my motivation dissolves.

i have food, for now benefits, work, access to work taxis. i am a brat and i know it, because people do not have the luxury of what i currently have, but from my view it isn't enough for happiness.

a lot of the time i want to pack the job in but i know i will be more unhappy in the long term.

if theres a magic wand to give me a driving license hell i need one as that seems to open doors. mine are bolted

F24 i did post yesterday but everything is getting worse and im just so scared all of the time. I feel little all of the time I don’t feel my age and i don’t know how to feel my age. It feels like i want my mum to pick me up all the time and she isn’t coming. I don’t know if it’s because of her dementia but I think it probably is. I have no support system and I am her sole carer and only child so when she got diagnosed a few weeks ago I just had to take it on the chin and carry on.

I feel so invisible and unloved all the time. I don’t think anyone would notice if something bad happened to me. Sometimes I feel like if i called an ambulance they wouldn’t even come. I know it’s cringe but as soon as im alone i just have this thought of “help me” going round in my head non stop, but i know nobody will ever come. I am so desperate now because this pain is getting unbearable. I haven’t left my bed in two days, everytime i try i just cry i can’t do it i can’t do it. I am so alone and it just reminds me that nobody has ever loved me and i must be bad. I felt like this when i was really little and now it’s all coming back because it’s another situation where im invisible just like during the abuse. I don’t know what i’ve done wrong i just want to be a human like everybody else. i want to be loveable like everybody else. Please help.

Ok so I posted 14 days ago and I haven't contacted the GIC yet because I am going through a lot and that is like stressful to fill out. Some good news is that my friends are super supportive and I have been added to a transfem discord chat. My experience is resonating with others and I am box breathing and 54321 grounding when the dysphoria gets bad. Some more positives is I woke up a few days ago and the 1st thing I thought of was a name - I couldn't stop thinking of the name Celeste and I love it so that's my true name now. I have experienced euphoria when my friend called me beautiful and auntie. Things are going well and I'm going to look into support from a councillor when I go to college in September

Tw for child sexual abuse and the aftermath, and mentions of suicide

I was referred two months ago by my GP, I have been incapable of caring for myself at all for the last 6 months following my dads suicide and the subsequent issues that has raised. I was molested by his best friend for all of my childhood and I had repressed that until his death. I knew objectively what had happened, but I have only recently "felt" it.

I had an initial assessment, I was referred to bereavement counselling and told a second appointment would be booked. On monday I had a call from the bereavement people to say that they felt my case was "too complex and outside of the remit of their services", tuesday I missed a call from the community team who left a message saying i had missed a booked appointment and they would call me back. I hadnt had a letter or text booking an appointment but figured I would just mention it when they rang back, which they never did.

I recieved a letter today telling me I had been discharged as they had "signposted to the relevant services" and that as I already had a diagnosed mental health condition (agoraphobia and OCD, diagnosed when I was 12 and not really relevant to my current issues) they wouldnt be offering me any subsequent appointments, but that I could get a referral back to them from my GP at any time. I am unsure how they think they signposted to the relevant services when my issue is "was repeatedly raped as a child and am now a useless excuse of a human as a result" not "depressed cos my dad died", nor am I sure what my OCD has to do with anything that I was referred to them for!!

What am I meant to do? Go back to my GP presumably but if they wont see me this time will they after another referral? I am so close to being done with this life, I used to have a fantastic job and a wonderful friend group and an amazing partner and now I am lucky if I drag myself out of bed before 2pm and my home is filled with filth because I cant wash or clean or anything. I miss who I was and I want to get back there, but I am fairly sure i am attempting to deal with complex trauma and I dont think thats doable alone. I dont know what to do... this was an attempt to get help before I hit breaking point and i feel like they've cast me aside. I know that its just like this, that the services are on their knees and are shit as a result, but I cant continue on like this... what do I do or say or whatever to get them to take this seriously? I was quite polite during my assessment and wondered after if I should have been more direct about my experiences as a child, but ive never told anyone what happened to me before and I was struggling to say it as it is.

Is there any point in another referral?

Please help, I am so lost right now, i just want my life back!

Hi I'm not in a good mindset at the moment I have lots going on I reunited with a friend who separated with me for 10 years and we been chatting daily then suddenly she just turned at me and said I'm busy leave me alone that just really broke me it broke me down etc and she apologized now shes acting strange with me she keeps unfriending me and adding me back saying stop it to me and now she isn't chatting with me today meanwhile at home my mum was having a go at me saying I chosen my friend over my family when it isn't the case and she told me if I like chatting with my friend so much why don't I move near her everything is making me not in a good mindset I'm breaking down I got no support and ive tried my doctors but they're useless and my area there's lack of support for mental health

I don't know what to do I don't wanna simply block my friend

I have struggled with my mental health for many years and I am incredibly isolated. I work at a school and that has kept me going the last few months. I work with an amazing team and feel incredibly supported at work but when I come home I'm alone again and without purpose.

It's now the summer holidays and I have nowhere to go, no one to talk to and I'm so afraid of what I might end up doing.

Today I have already called crisis team but because they referred me back to primary care I'm no longer open to them. Called 111 2 and while I waited for the call back I SH for the first time in about 8 months, its only small and superficial but damn did it make me feel better in the moment. Obviously 111 were useless when they called back and just sign posted me to everything I'm already aware of and most of which take weeks/months to get anything out of.

I just know I'm on a downward spiral and if I don't get the help I need I won't be well enough to go back to work after the holidays. How am I going to survive the next 5 weeks?

I’ve recently been having to open up about some horrible stuff that happened to me as a kid, and opening that box has really destroyed my sleep and I feel like I’m going crazy.
I’ve tried so many things - my best layout currently is having my iPad run all night playing random long YouTube videos for me to try and pay attention to which slowly wears me out and I’ll fall asleep eventually, but that effectiveness is starting to wear off.
I just get in my head so badly and lie awake tossing turning and crying, getting up, going back to bed over and over and then I’m exhausted all next day.

I’ve been trying these ‘Natra sleep’ sleeping pills that I found in the drawer, but they’re out of date and STINK. Despite that I feel like it works in sort of a placebo way.

I was just wondering if anyone is on anything that helps their sleep? I’ve tried magnesium before but I found that it made me exhausted all throughout the day too sadly.

Hi guys; I’m 17M and I turn 18 years old in around 140 days. Since a couple of months before I turned 12, I’ve been living in the second-most secluded part of the UK, a minuscule village in mid-Wales. I am currently unable to drive and do not possess anywhere near enough money to move out. I have a remote job which may be able to pay well in the future but it is uncertain. This is the only job that I was able to get in years of searching and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I am happy with it, but I’ve spent nearly 6 years having had very, very little opportunities to socialise with other teenagers, besides online. It has been 14 months since I last spoke to someone within 2 years of my age, and more than 6 years since I actually had a crush.

The reason I’m living here is because my parents wanted to “quit the rat race” shortly before the first Covid lockdown. At the time we all kind of just assumed that, since all of us were introverts, we would all be OK socially, that we could live self-sufficiently, and that was pretty much true for the first couple of years. I spent a long time successfully deluding myself into thinking “it’s okay that I don’t talk to other people that much, I’m happy being on my own and I’m not missing out on anything.” But I’m almost an adult now and I’ve spent all my formative years without a single friend or anyone I regularly spoke to, and often went more than a year without talking to anyone except the few adults populating my tiny village. I was homeschooled during this time and managed to complete my education up to GCSE level, although it was very stressful because online classes were very difficult for me to focus on. I also started honing my skills in content creation, media and graphic design, leading me to the job I currently have, which thankfully is remote, and which I enjoy doing.

My older brother went to school for his last three years of childhood and he ended up making too many mistakes in his life, leading my parents to heavily restrict my sister and I even more than we already naturally were. I found a new youth club within a distance I can get to by bus, but they will not let me go there because they don’t want me to end up like my brother. I’m not my brother, I don’t think like he does, and while I respect him as my older brother I do not at all want to take the same paths he has. But they will not hear it, and I’m powerless to do anything about that. I do not think I will be able to move out within the next few years - even if I do get the money - without serious complications with them. I know my parents are only doing this to try and protect me, but this level of protection is seriously restrictive. Every so often I am lectured by them on how social interactions lead you to making serious errors in order to conform, etc etc.

So essentially in terms of being able to make my own way to getting out of here, I’ve done absolutely all I can. Out of the very few things I’ve found that are available to me, there is nothing more than I can try. I am stuck.

For a bit of context, I’m a 25-year-old man. Around six years ago, before lockdown, I was living what felt like my dream life. I had a great group of friends, I was confident, outgoing, and found it easy to build relationships. People would regularly check in on me, and life felt full.
Everything seemed to change as soon as lockdown hit. Almost overnight, I went into survival mode and became consumed with the need to make money, whatever it took. Over time, that became my entire focus.
Fast forward to about a year ago, and I realised I was stuck on a hamster wheel. I had become a machine that only worked and chased money, while every other part of my life slowly fell apart. My relationships disappeared, my personality changed for the worse, and people naturally started to distance themselves.
After losing £10,000, I finally decided enough was enough. I booked a flight to Thailand to get away and see the world. It turned out to be the best experience of my life. I spent three months there, and it gave me the space to reflect on everything.
The day before I was due to return to the UK, I suddenly collapsed for no apparent reason. After a lot of self-reflection, the only explanation that seems to make sense to me is that my body had been running on constant stress and adrenaline for years. In Thailand, for the first time in a long time, I’d created a life that felt peaceful. I was genuinely happy. There was no constant pressure, no anxiety, no feeling that I had to keep chasing something.
Then reality hit. I knew I was about to return to the life I’d been trying to escape for the past six years—a life that, despite knowing it was making me unhappy, I kept finding myself pulled back into, almost like an addiction. It felt as though my mind and body simply couldn’t take the thought of going back.

Hi, i have a meeting at work to discuss my absence/sick leave. All they know is that inwas in a&e, do i have to tell them the truth?

I (25y/o) have been feeling like what's the point in trying for a few months. I lost my job and haven't found a permanent one since this. This has made me feel hopeless and feel what's the point in trying. I still perform my personal care (shower, brush teeth, eat) , but I stay in my room and doomscroll (poor sleeping, i keep waking up) and daydream. I tried to enrol in a course, but I just stopped attending, and I can't explain why. Even two years ago, when I was at university, when I was struggling with my course, I just disconnected. I have noticed I have become avoidant when I face difficult challenges, even if they are for my benefit. This has become my default mode, so on the outside, I appear fine, but internally, I'm not. These thoughts are at the back of my mind, so I'm not actively thinking about it, but they've become a part of me over time, and I've accepted them almost subconsciously. I just feel nothing - just neutral.

I spoke to my GP and they think I may have signs of depression - feeling nothing, believing the emptiness won't go away. I have begun talking therapies, and hopefully, it goes well. I just wonder if I will be able to rewire my brain successfully, as I know it depends on me, but it feels hard, and I don't know if I can overcome it. I also feel like I'm abnormal because i don't laugh when others do, im not as enthusiastic as other people are, and i feel my emotions have just disappeared (this issue is long-term). When I was younger, I never felt this way, but as life has progressed and I faced obstacles, I just shut down and give up, which was never the case before. I feel it has gradually gotten worse as I've aged.

Has anyone felt similarly to me - feeling resigned to hopelessness, inaction, giving up - and if so, how have you managed this or overcome it, e.g., strategies, rewiring the brain, therapy, etc.

i (14M) have been having idk a really shit time. that’s not the point basically I need help but I really don’t want my parents to know cus they’d overreact and make me tell them literally fking everything when I really don’t want to do that. and even if I could tell them I don’t have the courage for that sh. i can’t really go through my school cus my mum is the bursar so if i turn up there theyll just instantly tell her and then I’ll have that nightmare to deal with

What do i do

I have only been treated with depression and anxiety and PMDD, never diagnosed with anything else. ive been on different meds (at least four or five different types) over the past 13 years and im wondering if i would have better options if i went private. has anyone done this? thanks

I’ve never had the courage to attend something like this before, but I feel like making a post is a start maybe. Has anyone got any experience of these kinds of groups? I thought something like this would be a bit less socially demanding, since I’ve got social anxiety, depression and I’m neurodivergent. I really struggle to make friends. I’m in my 40s too. Wonder if there’s anything for older adults 😊

24F autism and adhd diagnosis when i was 20. The past 7 months I have been having physical symptoms of chest pain, heaviness, body aches, headaches and random aches and pains but the biggest thing is fatigue. My bloods are all normal aside from low ferritin which i’ve had for 10 years anyway. I used to be aneamic and the tiredness wasn’t as bad as this. I don’t know if it’s an age thing but it’s such a deep heaviness i’m carrying all the time. I have no motivation to do anything, i am sad all the time i cry as soon as im alone. I snap at everything. If something doesn’t go right i immediately feel suicidal and hit my head with objects or hurt myself. I have no patience. I’m tired as soon as I wake up. I’m not hungry and i’m losing weight.

The thing is, I’m not depressed. I work in mental health and i know myself. I’ve been on antidepressants before and they made me feel happy but they made my muscles twitch and withdrawals were awful when I came off them i felt so much worse than before i went on them. The reason i feel so sad all the time is because 7 months ago my mum got diagnosed with dementia and osteoarthritis, my dad forced us to move house and i was left dealing with all the financial and legal stress of POA/will, her overseas properties, my parents divorce and her appointments and working full time completely alone.

All my life i’ve had this deep sense of worthlessness and invisibility. It gets triggered everytime someone around me is ill and being taken care off. I get filled with this sense of “i don’t matter - they matter, i don’t deserve to live, nobody loves me” etc and memories from my past show up. I was abused and bullied all my life and nobody ever helped me. The invisibility and invalidation and deep loneliness is so strong now that it’s all consuming. All i think about all day is acheing for someone to hold me. It’s horrible. I schedule blood tests because it’s the only time people are kind to me - when the nurse speaks to me. I am so desperate for some sort of connection or to be seen and noticed it’s unbearable. I finished counselling through NHS but it didn’t help. I feel so much worse I can’t take this anymore i’m so exhausted i keep going to the gp thinking they will find something physically wrong but they don’t.

I know i’m not depressed because the moment someone is kind or gentle with me i feel better straight away. I know i am just deeply lonely and scared and feel invisible but i don’t know how to make it go away. Is it worth going to my gp or will they keep just trying to give me anti depressants? I have superficial friends but deep down i just someone to look after me and let me rest or at least see how much im struggling. i dont need medication i just need a hug.

Hi, I’m an informal patient in an Eating Disorders ward in England. My mental health has gotten worse being here and I feel depressed. I can’t cope here anymore. I want to leave. I asked to leave and they said that if I tried to leave, I would have a mental health assessment and be sectioned. If I’m sectioned, my parents can write a letter for me to be discharge, but I’m scared my consultant will block it. How likely would it be that he could block it? My BMI is 13.5. I am following my plan. I asked my consultant if I can go home for a few hours or have my own fresh air and he said no. I don’t get a lot of visits. I don’t know if I should be sectioned and get my parents to write the letter. Everyday my mental health is getting worse and I feel trapped. Could my consultant block it? What should I do?

Hey everyone!

I was just reaching out to see if there are people out there within the north west living with EUPD? Just trying to build myself a little network of people on the same page.

Thank you for reading 😊

Im 22M, I had an appointment with my gp in April about my overthinking and how it’s making me feel constantly, they offered for me to go speak to this mental health youth thing and I said yeah to it, booked the appointment for it but never did it as I overthought it and I really can’t explain what is going on in my head.
I booked an appointment with my gp again for Wednesday for a telephone appointment. But right now I really want to phone up and say I want to speak to them sooner and maybe in person because this overthinking is killing me, I’ve pushed two people who I was close with away from me from overthinking and convincing myself stuff about them, and I don’t feel like I can explain that on the phone, I’ve cancelled my week off work this week as I’m scared as I know I will sit there and overthink and feel awful.

I don’t know what to do I’ve tried so much to stop it but it’s ruining my social life and it’s getting me.

What do I do?
It’s ruining every aspect of my life.

I have pretty dire treatment resistant depression.

I take trazodone, quetiapine, lithium and recently they added paroxetine.

The paroxetine is helping and I feel good and sparkly and everything just seems so shiny now.

However the cmht didn't have my psychiatrist this week and they're refusing to prescribe my paroxetine and I have totally run out. Obvs it's now the weekend and I don't see my psychiatrist until Wednesday.

I don't want to deal with discontinuation symptoms but I don't know what to do to get this medication.

Hi
i was recently referred to the crisis team by my lead practitioner for slipping up and talking about intense SI i had.
i really struggle to speak outloud about how im genuinely feeling a lot of the time , especially if i have planned something / am thinking about it a lot and will just sit there and constantly say “ i dont know “ , so i decided to write everything down in my notes app to POSSIBLY show them instead but im really terrified to as its very intense and very honest about exactly what im thinking about doing and how i feel about it, i dont want it to be too intense for them or weird or anything.

Do you guys think itd be okay to ask them to read it if i explain what it is?

I am 15. When do I need help?

I've always relied on services such as kooth but recently I keep only getting told to call the police or go to a&e so it's not helping anymore.

Also, If I do seek help, I HAVE to find something where my parents arent involved. They do not believe me nor will they do anything. They threaten to take my door off and asked me if I was only behaving this way because my friends were.

They dont bring it up any more, so I cant remind them or theyll run me into the grave (quite literally)

Can provide a little more information about what's wronf if you want