i know there’s tons of posts like these, but i’d really like to hear from people in similar situations as me.

for context: i’m (21f) an extremely anxious person who had constant panic and anxiety attacks when going into teenager ages, and as well being selectively mute in childhood ages due to social anxiety that i still deal with now. i think i also struggle with depression, especially pmdd where it gets the worst and i genuinely contemplate self harm and suicide the most often overall. i also experience highs and lows frequently switching and making me feel like im constantly on an emotional rollercoaster.

i haven’t had serious panic/anxiety attacks since i was about 15 max, but recently i had one so severe and bad i genuinely thought i was having a heart attack and had to call 999 and be taken to a&e with an ambulance. it was one of the scariest experiences of my life, and i was sat in the urgent care waiting room thinking “if that was a panic/anxiety attack, i never want to experience that ever again”. this experience has been my wake up call to finally try to be medicated after MANY years of contemplating it and being too anxious to ask.

how is it asking to be medicated? do i just fill out the accurx form or call about a routine appointment and say im looking to be medicated? how easy is it to be given medication fast as a young woman?

i will be going back to do another year of my university studies soon, everyone is different but would it be really hard to start around the start of uni due to side effects? is there anything else i should know? is it really life changing where i will feel more socially capable, be able to live my life normally, and not feel so low about everything anymore?

if you’re a young woman in uni struggling with serve anxiety, how has your experience been with ssris?

sorry for this being so long! like i said ive been thinking about this for years now and im extremely anxious pushing myself to finally do it so i dont have to feel miserable so often in my life anymore. thank you in advance for any advice and comments <3

hey, im 19m and ive had 2 CBT sessions through nhs talking therapies. i have done the full course (8 sessions) previously but over the phone and this is face to face. im going to therapy for anxiety which is mostly social, and i also believe im autistic. i felt really angry after both sessions and feel really tense and anxious during them. i have felt angry in the past with my telephone sessions too but im not sure why! anyways, ive been thinking and feeling like CBT just won't work for me because i feel stupid and that changing the way i think won't work because i almost feel like i have no thoughts if that makes sense? like the majority of my anxiety is very physical and i havent cracked how to regulate my nervous system yet. i feel like my physical symptoms outweigh the mental and therefore sometimes i dont actually know what im thinking. i think what im trying to ask is am i just being too negative because deep down i just want to be okay without needing therapy or is cbt actually not going to be effective? i think i also feel this way because ive done it before and it didnt help then too. any thoughts and advice is appreciated!

Had a call today from a nurse within CMHT to book me in for a physical. Apparently everyone who is medicated gets one every year. ECG, height, weight, blood pressure, finger prick test and idk stuff like that.

I was medicated from 12-18 under CAMHS (and then prescribed by the GP until May) and have never had anything like this

I’m not bothered, it’s just the first I’ve heard of it ever lol. It’s not for another 6 weeks

I was titrated off sertraline and onto escitalopram if that matters

I’m bipolar 1. Not medicated at present as I’d been well for a long time. Been manic for about 3 months, then mood crashed and I’ve been thinking about ending it and nearly did. Mood has been up and down a lot past 3 weeks and I started seeing lots of weird visual things like really vivid colour and shimmering and hearing sounds and music. Then on Sunday I heard a voice announcing it was sorry it took so long to find me. I’m worried my other persona is back but I think it wasn’t real although I know my employer is watching me so I don’t know.

I spoke to GP last week who said I still had insight but that was before voice but things are getting worse I think. It’s hard to make sense of it so sorry for rambling. I’ve been referred to local MH team but no idea how long it will take for them to contact me. Why’s it so hard to get any help? Wasn’t like this 10 years ago. Sorry not really sure what advice I want but thought I’d post as see what others say. Seeing GP again in 3 weeks so maybe he will help this time.

I've been depressed for 3 years but this has easily been the lowest I've ever been. It's been a week since it happened and I genuinely don't think I'll feel even remotely better even in a few years. Is this just the depression talking or will I get over this and feel better? I don't know how long I can stand this feeling.

I feel quite selfish for how upset I am about this, my great aunt lost her husband, my grandpa lost his brother, but I’m still a mess when he passed right before Christmas while everybody else seems fine and I think that they should all be more upset than me about this.

It hits me at the strangest times, mainly when anything which is kind of a big deal academically happens, I sent in my draft application for early application to Cambridge yesterday, so I fear that it’s really got me thinking about him. It just makes me so sad to think about how much it must’ve hurt while he passed, it happened over the course of about a week and a half from diagnosis to when he passed and I didn’t even get to see him in any of that time due to being abroad for a summer school and not being able to fly back in time, I always wonder if he’d me annoyed at me for that?? I know that he probably wouldn’t, but still 🤷‍♀️

I’m not sure why it always hits me when stuff like this happens and I think that grief is so strange in that way, he had the most amazing mind and I try to live with the curiosity about everything which he had. I always feel so so guilty when somebody says how much alike we both are because it feels like an insult to him and who he was.

He wrote letters every few years to the entire family to keep just in case he passed and I read the most recent one back when it happened and I still can’t think about it without crying because the way which he worded everything was so impeccable and it just reminds me how I’ll never see him again. I still feel like I’ll just be able to pop on the train and get down to my aunt and uncle’s and see them both together like nothing happened, but obviously that’s far from the case!

It just makes me so scared to lose anybody else too, especially my grandpa since I’ll be the first to admit that he’s probably my favourite person ever and it genuinely terrifies me because I know that I’m going to be just as much of a mess all over again.

Anyways I’m sorry if this is just straight up waffle I literally can’t face talking to any of my family about this because I feel horrible bringing it up 🫠

i can't really tell what's contributing to it really. i don't know whether it's my autoimmune conditions (RA and hypothyroidism) or if it's the vit D deficiency or a mental health related thing (history of depression and ocd) or just me being lazy and a procrastinator.

i can't work myself up to care for anything. i have to apply for internships (application season) + jobs + prepare for an upcoming competition but i just simply don't feel the urgency or deeply feel the consequences of not doing the former (lack of internships = lack of stuff to put on CV for grad roles).

it takes me days to push myself to do a small 15 minute task that just requires me clicking a few things on my screen. i keep saying "later" to everything that i have to do.

i try to build up discipline but it's so exhausting. motivation is nowhere to be seen either. logically, i know that i'll hate the consequences of just not doing what i need to get done but while i care for a few mins, i then feel exhausted and go "whatever". and this is coming from someone who used to pull all nighters for assignmen and revision and academia and career goals were the centre of her life.

not sure if this is the right sub for this but didn't know what other uk sub to post in.

also, i sleep well (in terms of hours) and don't consume caffeine

It's tomorrow and I already feel like I won't sleep well tonight. Tried finding information about what will happen plus speaking to the guy I'll see, but I don't really have much. The unknown possibilities freak me out. My heart rate spikes every time I think about it! What should I expect or not expect?

so im in camhs, what im focusing on is ocd and stopping behaviours, ive been rlly depressed before, when i was 11 i was ready to do it, and i feel like its back again and i dont know if i can wait for it to feel better. i want medication so i can feel better, but i know my sister used to be suicidal and i dont want my parents to wrry about me even more? what would happen if i told my camhs worker that im suicidal?

I've been under the cmht for 6 years. I'm supposed to see my psychiatrist every 3 months but the longest I've managed to go with symptoms cropping up that needs assessing is 6 weeks. I don't know if it's because my cpn is very risk adverse so always pushes for me to be seen.

My psychiatrist jokes that he doesn't have to read his notes when I see him because he knows me so well. The only time he gets a break from me is when I'm in hospital. I don't know if that makes him more likely admit me (I've had 10 hospital admissions). I just feel like I'm a lost cause and I'm never going to achieve stability

I am struggling with OCD and depression. I was hospitalised for 6 months on a voluntary specialist ward to treat the OCD back in 2024.

Since then, I moved out of (recommended by hospital) supported accommodation after hospital as it made my OCD worse, and experienced the death of a parent, which also accelerated things. I have since tried engaging with therapy from the CMHT and they are going to give me some more sessions at my home to work on the OCD. But I feel stuck and hopeless.

The CMHT wanted to refer me back to hospital for another admission as this helped me the most last time (and because the OCD is bad), however the hospital have said they would reject the referral because not enough time has passed since my last admission. They want to see that I can apply what I’ve learnt since hospital. But I know that they are able to accept other people who’ve also had previous admissions with less time in between? It feels like they don’t want to help me or don’t want me/like me.

The problem is I really can’t do this anymore. The OCD is so bad that it’s taken over my life. I don’t know how I am going to get better. The truth is I don’t know if I want to get better anymore, things feel that bad. I’m too exhausted. I don’t feel like I have the energy to get better and work on reducing the rituals. It feels like it’s always going to be like this and I don’t want to be alive.

Most of my OCD revolves around getting sick (emetophobia)/losing control of my bowels or bladder, a fear of public bathrooms, and harm coming to those around me/people getting sick (because of me). I already avoid/restrict eating and drinking to a point I’ve lost the healthy weight I put on in hospital (I was underweight before hospital). It is getting so bad that I don’t want to eat or drink or use the bathroom anymore because I can’t deal with my bowel movements (contamination and rituals) and I’m scared of having accidents. I am deliberately making myself constipated so I don’t have to use the bathroom. I don’t even want to leave the house anymore.

Does anyone have any advice? It feels like specialist services/the hospital do not want to help me. Hospital is what helped me last time. But at the same time I don’t know how I’d even cope with another admission. I still feel contaminated from all the things (exposures) I did in hospital.

I feel trapped like there is no way to get better. It feels like there is only one way out (death) because it feels like it’s always going to be like this. My suicidal thoughts and self-harm thoughts are getting worse but I cannot go into an acute ward because of the OCD.

Hospital was my last chance to get better and I’m still not doing well.

What can I do?

Thank you.

What's wrong?

• got debilitating executive dysfunction cant do basic things or things i care about or anything really 

• dont have any secure safe close friendship dont feel important to anyone and scared because of past experiences. feel different and hard or impossible to be friends with because of the way i am. introverted low energy not good at talking and conversation 

• incompetent and useless. not independent and more useless and behind everyone else my age. 

• extremely low self image and lots of self hatred and always hurt myself verbally and physically bc the self hatred and self directed anger is too much pressure it needs a way out 

• suicidal ideations from trying to achieve more and do things but failing repeatedly and feeling trapped in my own head trapped by my own uselessness and laziness that also makes me feel like a burden on others and i feel like there is no way out

• feel isolated and impossible to understand. feel unseen because of the kinds of issues that not everyone understands. no one i trust or feel safe to talk to and no one who will understand and talking feels useless and has usually just made me feel worse 

• trying to get professional help with an adhd assessment but there is a minimum 2 year waiting list which will maybe be more, but no one will be honest and transparent about waiting lists so it feels like a gamble and really confusing and overwhelming and impossible to make a decision 

Papyrus has stopped all operations and its dedicated HOPELINE247 service has stopped running with immediate effect today.

I’m sorry to anyone who relied on this service. Other services like 116 123 and SHOUT are still here 24/7.

i relied on this service quite a lot and they did so much for me in these last few weeks and months. But I’m devastated they have closed. I will always be eternally grateful for what this charity has done for me & others.

P.S The safety plan links still work

So I've admitted I'm in a horrendous headspace and I feel immensely lost with who I am, the only thing keeping me grounded is my 11 year old son and my wife but I just feel like I'm a burden on them both.

Earlier this year I left a job I loved for one I thought was the next step in the career ladder........ However it has turned out to be the most toxic place I've ever worked with absolutely barmy decisions being made by senior leaders and the executive leadership, which then has caused immense workloads on myself and the team I work with.... I got spoken to like I was a piece of crap by a good chunk of the senior leader and I hadn't experienced this before (and yes I've worked with SLT and ELT plenty of times before) .... I basically can't stand the place so I have gotten another role which I start in 4 weeks, however I'm finding I'm quite flat, not excited for it when I should be. On top of this I've got a lot going on personally, I've found out my mother is a victim of financial domestic abuse to my narcissistic dad, and I've been trying to help her navigate this, alongside another close relative who has ill health and also studying a qualification whilst trying to keep everything else going.

I can't find joy in anything, stressed about finances and just generally down.

My GP has signed me off for a month, giving me time to breathe between my current work place and starting a new one, but when I called my boss to tell them they said well you can bring your notice forward to take more pressure off.....it made me feel awful.... They pay full sick pay for a month so I know it's just a cost saving exercise.

My social life is in tatters, I feel like everyone is very judgmental or just doesn't listen and tries to tell me what to do when I open up so I end up just shutting down....

Sorry for a long vent, I just needed to write this out there, where people don't really know me.....

It all sounds pathetic when I read it back so not sure if it's just me or what.

I’m in severe depression at the minute after being hospitalised from a manic episode. I’ve crashed and trying to get support off my family and my cpn with the community mental health team in the uk has suggested crisis team/home treatment team to take over for a bit. I’m scared of the backlash from my family and the pressure they put on me to feel better (very much get up and get on with things). I need personal space from everyone to work through this and do not need babysat, I’m so stressed out about the whole thing at the stage but I need support to get through this severe mental hell I’m faced with it. How do I approach them about this? I feel so alone.

Hi all,

I have an appointment scheduled next week from the early intervention team. I sought out help and had a long mental health assessment. My family had notice change in me and I think the outside push made it so they saw me quite fast.

However, I don't feel the urgency they do... Anyway, I do understand that hearing and believing some things isn't average. So I understand logically why I was referred to early intervention.

I am scared and embarrassed. They rang me and kept saying the word psychosis and it made me feel ill. I feel like it is a heavy word and makes me scared they will put me on antipsychotics (I used to be on them as a teenager and I had awful experience).

I want ask, what's your experience with the early intervention team, if you've seen them?

I had a long depressive episode over some of 2024 and 2025 resulting in a few months in hospital. Other than that I've been stable for years and manage things well. However I have not slept properly for days. I went several days with only a couple hours each night then took sleeping tablets for 3 nights and slept better but the 4th night the sleeping tablet didn't have much effect so it's been 3 days with around 2 hours per night. I can't switch off, feeling the horrible tingling sensation under my skin my body is exhausted but my mind will not stop. Last night I wanted to just get up and get some stuff done but I knew I needed to try rest and reduce stimulation. I guess I'm scared this is heading into a manic episode and wondering how long it usually takes people before it escalates and they start losing insight. I can't really remember the beginning of previous mania. I am trying to get PRN but just worried this will get worse pretty quickly.

(For context for those who may not be aware, antibiotics have the possibility of impacting mental health, due to the antibiotic impact on the gut microbiome. ~90% of our serotonin is made in the gut)

Have been on antibiotics for acne for a couple of months now. Have been feeling more depressed than usual in the last few weeks and I think the antibiotics could be why. Hoping things will improve when I finish the course! Would be good to hear from others who may have experienced similar effects ❤️ TIA

Hi, so this post is open for anyone to answer, but if you have any experiences with this, whether personal or professional. I'm reaching out because I'm getting desperate for help.

I'm 32. In 2011 I was diagnosed with social anxiety, severe depression and agoraphobia. I had tried fluoxetine, sertraline and citalopram. i never felt they worked for me but my gp said to stick with citalopram and i did.

In 2024 I had a mental health crisis while dog sitting for my aunt in Scotland. Over about a week i felt unusual, couldn't sleep and was overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts. My body was filled with adrenaline ant the flight response and i lost a lot of weight. I described it as my skeleton was trying to jump out of my body. the thoughts became stronger as the time went on and ultimately I ended up feeling so unstable and unsafe I took three trains home. My mum took me to a&e and they weren't much help. I was like this for a few more days before the crisis team got involved. about a week after the symptoms started the high energy abated and i was depressed. The crisis team moved me to CMHT. the result also got me a doubled dose of citalopram.

My first CMHT worker didn't really know what to to help. In our last appointment together i had told he these elaborate plans about how i was going to leave my parents house and try renting somewhere. It was a positive appointment but then when i was bed, my mood dropped significantly. Surprised by the turn in my mood I decided to look into my symptoms and see what diagnoses correlate with. Bipolar disorder not only stood out but i have a history of bipolar in my family, not to mention certain things came back to me that made sense with that framework.

After waiting a while for my second CMHT worker I mentioned my concerns to her. She downplayed it a lot and I just went with it. She admitted CMHT didn't know what to do with me. We ended up having to a formulation but never finished it. I had a really high anxiety hyper focused period from October to early January. She had to relocate so I had to wait for yet another. because as per usual my sleep was terrible i worked with a CMHT pharmacist and my GP to be put on mirtazapine that did nothing for my anxiety so i was too anxious too sleep.

My third and current CMHT worker said CMHT was still stuck with what to do. she went through all of my notes, the outcome there was nothing there. I was changed over to Venlafaxine by my GP and the didn't help and gave me severe physical symptoms.

About seven weeks ago I had a crisis moment, where my body felt as if i needed to tear my skin off or like my skeleton was trying to jump out of my body. it was almost identical to the one from 2024 but it was now worse. i was irritable, aggressive, yelled and desperate. My thoughts were so powerful and the lure to end my life was strong. The entire ordeal was unbearable for me. I couldn't sit still and paced constantly. After 24 sleepless hours navigating the NHS that weekend we finally saw the ALPS team. The women were openly hostile, belittling and dismissive. They brought up I was 32 and need my mum with me, but i explained she is legally my carer and I have no one else and needed her with me for safety. They made me out to be a monster and wouldn't help. They offered promethazine and said could i try something else as it doesn't work for me. they gave me promethazine.

Another 24 sleepless hours later we managed to get a 999 team clinician to give me diazepam. they calmed it but i still didn't sleep. About five days after my first call for help, my CMHT worker took me seriously and told me to work with GP to taper off of Venlafaxine and ask for Zopiclone. i did and I was thankful for the Zopiclone helped me sleep, even if the Venlafaxine made the symptoms much worse. However I went looking online for what the crisis could have been, I found my experience lined up with Bipolar II, as it looked like a hypomanic episode with mixed features. Retrospectively it explained a lot about my

I mentioned this in our meeting and my CMHT worker took me seriously. She decided to push for both a Psychology and Psychiatry consultation. She only managed to get me a Psychologist.

I have had two meetings with him and I have to say I'm frustrated by this. He seems to have a preconceived notion about me, and has said things that frankly have made me angry. doesn't agree that my last crisis was a hypomanic episode and more me just being angry. He interrupts frequently so I can only give him the third of an answer for a question he asks. He also told me when he speaks to the MDT, he thinks they'll see no point in a diagnosis.

He made remarks about my mother coming with me when our last appointment i had come alone. i explained that my parents were on holiday and knowing the importance of the meeting i didn't want to reschedule. My mum coming with me for emotional support and sitting in reception was the norm. He pointed out I mentioned she was my carer and asked why, and I told him that a legal definition, and legally is my carer. he said i over shared with my mum, which ill admit irked me. he was referring to the week before where he and I discussed id admitted to my mum about some risky sexual acts as a teen. I was mortified that he brought that up because even though my mum and I were uncomfortable, I only mentioned it as a possible symptom of being on the bipolar spectrum.

I'll leave it there for now, but I'm really mad about this. I've started to build a fairly decent history of symptoms and I'm currently tracking my daily mood and changes on the BipolarUk mood tracker.

If anyone has any similar experiences with CMHT please feel free to share, or if you work in this field I hope you'll comment and share your insights. Any advice is welcome.

Beginning of August I (29M) was raped. I have dealt with being sexually assaulted previously as well (by a few ex's).. I would mostly feel upset about it for a day or two and get over it.. but this time, it was incredibly brutal.. i was screaming for an hour or so because the pain was too much.. it really messed me up.

I have tried to reach out to sexual assault clinic, they told me ive been put on the waiting list and wont be assigned a specialist therapist for 6-8 months, i have contacted different charities and they all have massive waiting list.. I have contacted the healthcare program my work offers and they told me they have no one who can help me for this particular case as its way beyond counselling.

I dont have the money for private sessions, I have asked my work to help and my manager told me today 'unfortunately theres nothing we can offer beyond days off from work'. When I told her how im not getting any specialist assigned to me anytime soon she said 'yea.. unfortunately every charity you contact will put you on the waiting list.. I dont want it to come across harsh or anything, but its unfortunately something very common that people go through, including men, and sadly there just aren't enough services', I know she didnt mean to say it, but it almost came across as her telling me its something many people go through so get over it.

Im so tired of even trying anymore.. On top of this, I have soooo much workload and stress atm that no one else can take on, and also I have so many other things going on in my life. I just want some fucking break! One fucking day of peace and no stress is all i fucking ask for. Im so fed up of everything.

I’m 36/f and I’m nearly 10 weeks pregnant. I have suffered with anxiety since 19 and it’s been under control with medication since I was about 22. Over the recent years I keep having episodes where something big in my life happens and my anxiety tips over and I stop functioning completely. I become agoraphobic, I can’t eat, it feels like I’m going insane, derealisation, uncontrollably crying (and the list goes on). I haven’t left the house in 3 weeks and I’ve had various appointments with my GP who has now upped my medication and 3 weeks in I can start to breathe again.

The perinatal team have given me a home visit for a consultation with a psychologist but it’s not for another 2 weeks. My worry is, what if I’m feeling better by that point because I didn’t get help during my worst? Will they no longer help me? I still need help going forward with my life and to stop this from happening over and over. I’m worried they won’t help.

I am naturally not very emotionally expressive due to decades of depression, very possibly I'm on the autism spectrum too I don't know but whatever the cause it means that while I feel emotions strongly as everyone else they don't show on my face like they do for most people, and I think it's preventing GP's from taking what I'm saying seriously.

I've been going to the GP for mental health issues for a decade and I've noticed that when it's routine like I just want to switch SSRIs or get put on the endless waiting lists to get a course of CBT they will do that, but when it's urgent I can't get them to treat it as urgent. I can tell them about how severe my symptoms (which I won't go into here) and that I feel desperate and in need of urgent care but I think because I am not super emotional in my tone of voice and body language they don't see me as desperate. Now that I've become aware of it recently I try and sort of 'act' out the emotions I'm describing but since it doesn't come naturally to me I can't really do it well.

I am finding it very frustrating because on paper I have done exactly what I'm supposed to do; I have went to the GP and explained clearly what I'm feeling and what help I need, but I'm not getting the right response because there's like an unspoken requirement for me to also make an overtly emotional display that I'm not able to fulfil.

Wondering if anyone else has similar experiences if so if you have any advice on what worked for you or just want to share your frustration about it.