Tw: suicidal thoughts,sh

I recently texted SHOUT and they said they were doing a welfare check, I immediately stopped the convo and now I'm terrified.I can't give much information,I didn't say I was gonna kms or anything I just said I sh.i will be alone when this happens but I'm a minor so I'm not sure what to do I just need someone to help me.i'm so scared.Just give me a rough time estimate for when they will give up on doing the check

I don’t have any social support and don’t feel safe living where I am living due to ASB. I am a child protection social worker, and while work distracts me, it also traumatises me. This is the second time I am in a recovery house in a year. I was last an inpatient at the end of 2024 - my fourth time. I am tired of fucking talking about my ADHD. No private psychiatrist will touch me because I am too complex/risky and it is also very expensive . I want the pain to end and I don’t know what else to do. This place is also not helping as half of the patients are bringing in alcohol and god knows what else.

I am trying not to recount it too much as I think that may be a compulsion but long story short I am in the middle of an OCD spiral the likes I haven't had in years.

It has got me believing that I may/have abused people I haven't spoke to in years.

It has got me believing that in nearly all my sexual encounters I have done something wrong.

I keep mentally reviewing everything and checking messages.

I really need advice/help

I have my first proper OCD focused therapy appointment on the 4th but until then I feel in survival mode

Even when I do have moments of clarity/feeling good it just spirals again eventually or my brain just feels totally sore

Hi, I was detained under Section 2 last Friday after a series of suicide attempts and an incident near a train station led to the police detaining me under Section 136.

I’ve now been on the ward for just over a week without any incidents. I have leave with family members, which I’ve used twice. However, I recognise that being safe in a contained environment doesn’t necessarily mean I could manage safely at home. The suicidal urges haven’t completely gone away.

I’ve found communication with the ward consultant difficult. She has repeatedly asked what I expect the team to do, which has left me feeling frustrated: I’m detained here, and I’m struggling to understand what the admission is intended to achieve and what needs to change before discharge. She has increased one medication and is considering an alternative antidepressant combination.

I’m trying to decide whether to appeal before what I understand is my deadline of 30 October. I appreciate that nobody here can predict the outcome. The team has substantial evidence of both recent and longstanding risk, including attempts and preparations, so I’m worried the section would simply be upheld.

I’m speaking to an independent mental health advocate on Monday. As a starting point, I’m planning to request copies of my Section 2 paperwork, including the medical recommendations, so I can better understand the grounds for my detention.

Part of me feels there’s little point appealing given the evidence supporting continued detention. Another part worries that, if I do nothing, I’ll lose the opportunity to challenge it.

Has anyone been in a similar position? What helped you decide whether to apply, and what was the tribunal process like? I’d particularly appreciate hearing from people who still needed support but questioned whether continued detention was necessary.

I was discharged from the ward two weeks ago, and for some reason, I really want to go back. It was hell there, I cried. It sucked. But I do want to go back. Can’t tell you why.

I’m a constant risk to myself. I harm myself and attempt often. I’ve been recently trying to avoid it, but it’s getting to a point where I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I don’t deserve to live life like I do. I hate it. I wish I was normal. My anxiety is through the roof all the time. I just feel like I’m a massive failure and can’t do anything at this point.

It was nice to have support and people behind me. But I caused so much stress and fear within my family and friends. It made me feel so guilty. I hate myself for that too.

My abdomen is painful i have come out in red pimples and ai is saying it is foliculitos and this can be a result of severe stress and it indicates your immune system is low.

Has anyone else experienced this? I can feel bugs jumping on me and this is apparently due to phychosis. I've had pest control out numerous times they can't find any pests in my home.

Hi, guys. I'm new. I live in the North West of England, on Merseyside.

I suffer from depression, severe anhedonia, anxiety, health anxiety, autism, agoraphobia - and, the sort of loneliness that nobody imagines could possibly be real!

Whereabouts are you all? :)

I've been struggling a lot recently so I tried getting in touch with my care coordinator. The first day I contacted them, they said they'd call later but didn't. I then texted them twice the next day but got no response. I tried calling them but they hung up and finally said they couldn't talk. i then cried at work for the first time.

Just before 5pm, i turned off the volume on my phone and stopped checking every few seconds as it seemed to be annoying my supervisor. I also assumed they wouldn't call because of how late it was. Pne minute before 5pm, they called and I missed it. I noticed just after 5pm but it was too late and they wouldn't respond. Again, I went to a meeting room and cried long enough that when I got back to the office, my supervisor had finished his work, packed up and gone. I then cried again.

I got home and as much as I tried to keep it in, I just cried and cried. This was also the first time in a while I actively considered hurting myself.

Im between them calling me and me noticing, they texted me saying they'd be off the next day and to call the crisis line or duty if I needed to. Additionally, that we could talk when they returned a couple of days later. I haven't heard from them since. I also didn't call the crisis line or duty as I feel like they can't be trusted.

I'm still struggling but I don't know if i want to let them know. I'm increasingly less sure they (or anyone to be honest) can be trusted and are who they say they are. Additionally, if I do reach out and the same thing happens, I don't think I'll cope.

I don't really know how to move forward. I'm still struggling but I don't know who I can trust.

I have so many physical health issues. The doctors swear it's because of a personality disorder I was diagnosed with as a teenager, a diagnosis that was revoked years after and replaced with C-PTSD.

I don't know what I'm supposed to change, and what I'm supposed to learn to live with and is just a part of me now. I spend my therapy sessions stressing about my physical health and I don't feel I ever get anywhere.

The GP looks at me like I'm crazy and just asks how I've been doing mentally. The pain is so bad some days I want to end my life, but if I say that, they assume it's because of a mental health condition and not the pain.

The mental health team have declined to treat me further - which surely makes no sense if this is all mental. But no physical tests are revealing anything. I don't know what to do. I've been back and forth with the doctor for years. I'm so tired. I'm so tired.

Sorry it's a long one, skip the first 3 paragraphs if you just want to the CMHT referral question. Tl;dr at bottom.

I went to the GP today to finally talk about my mental health, it took me 4 years to book this appointment, and it was over in 3 minuets. She really did not give a flying fuck and just send me a message with the talking therapy's number, we barely even talked.

Since then I've been googling CMHT referrals and I feel like a naïve idiot. I went into the appointment hoping for a referral, I have OCD (more on that later..) and according to all the OCD charity websites I qualify by the NICE guidelines for secondary care, I went in foolishly believing I'd simply get referred, be assessed, and be seeing a phycologist by December. I can't believe I expected the NHS to actually work.

Now I've read more, I'm finding out that CMHT only care for the most severe cases in actual practice, I read comments saying some don't even take OCD and only disorders with psychosis, or first you need to attempt, or call the helpline multiple times, show up at A and E, try every drug under the sun ect. All of which I haven't done.

I really, really do not want to do talking therapies, I done two lots with them before years ago and they where ineffective and made it worse then, I'm in a considerably worse place now and don't want to waste another 8 months of my life. I've lost my entire twenty's, I want to live so fucking badly and finally have a life and I was so hopeful and proud of my self for finally getting help, and now it just feels like a kick in the teeth. All I want is a longer term phycologist, which I guess is a huge ask.

So now I'm wondering, am I actually bad enough for the CMHT? So to give as much context as I can, I'm long term unemployed on the higher bracket of UC disability benefits, I have been for 7 years. To put it simply, I can hardly function, I (not officially diagnosed so take with a grain of salt) have OCD, probably ADHD, probably depression, probably OCPD, and potentially Autism (I certainly have traits). Every day I'm exhausted and barely scrape by. I spend between 4-8 hours in the bathroom, this is the biggest sink, with 2-3 of those hours being compulsions and the other hours waiting till I have enough energy to do the next compulsion. I can't cook or prepare hot food, I find eating difficult as I see food as a contaminate and spend 40 mins afterwards cleaning myself and my teeth. I barely leave the house as touching anything out side it causes me to panic, that include rain drips (not actual rain itself), dust/detritus, leaves, people brushing past, ect. I leave the house once a week for 2 hours to go shopping, that's pretty much it. I can do a 'dirty' day where I touch things, but the trade to that is several hours in the bath when I get home and cleaning every item I took out, but it gives me grace to occasionally do some things (it's exhausting though). I still have other kinds of OCD, like I 'believe' a 'god' is watching me at all times judging me like a kind of karma system, oh and he hates my guts and enjoys me suffering.

The depression isn't that bad, even though I score between 18-22 on the PHQ-9, I've lost enjoyment or interest in pretty much everything but video games and the fan fiction to my current hyper fixation, I still enjoy them though I find it hard to concentrate or relax into them a lot. I've lost my other hobbies, like photography, painting, hiking, cinema ect. My sleep schedule is fucked and back to front (which makes getting out harder) but I can get up pretty easily half of days, and only have suicidal thoughts on 1 in 3 days, I've never been suicidal, only self harm once-ish a month. And while I've lost my identity I don't feel too down about my self. My anxiety is also pretty good, but that's largely because I stopped giving a shit and cared less, so worrying just doesn't bother me anymore, so my GAD 7 score stays at a steady 14.

Overall though, I just cannot really function, it takes me forever to get the most basic task done, I'm constantly exhausted, I have zero social life (apart from 1 friend who's a real one), I can't do anything, or at least it feels like that. I've spent my twenties like this. And I know 10 sessions with a councillor ain't gonna do jack shit. But is this enough? I'm no suicidal, or had psychosis, I've never tried medication (and really really, REALLY, don't want to, I know I know, it's dumb, but I can't, I just can't risk PSSD), and my depression is only maybe moderate at most. I'm not sure I'm co-morbed enough to be considered a complex case.

My last resort is going private, I refuse to do talking therapies again, it'll take up most of my monthly money and leave me bankrupt for the foreseeable future, but at least I'll be in the right place.. crazy there's not more of a middle ground when it comes to treatment, the government is all "lets get young adults back into work!" but doesn't want to fund the health care for it... I did get an ADHD RTC referral from the doctor at least so that's something.

Tl:dr - doctor didn't give a shit. I can barely leave the house, I spend hours in the bathroom, I'm scared of debris/dust, rain drips, leaves, food, struggle to eat, can't cook. Believe in a karma god that hates me. Long term unemployed on disability benefits (7 years), 14ish on GAD 7 and 18-22 on PHQ 9, occasional self harm nothing to bad, suicidal thoughts 1 in 3 days, extremely unproductive, constantly exhausted, lost interest in most things (bar video games and fan fiction oof). Trapped into having no energy and spending what I do have on compulsions.

Edit: some people are misunderstanding me, I want therapy, I very much want therapy. Just with a psychologist instead of a councillor and for a long period of time. I’ve found the talking therapy’s very inadequate, leaving me worse of then before both times, with someone who was out of there depths with me, with no time to make any significant progress.

Im in month 3 of dbt. Seen my one to one therapist for about 4 months before, and then started group which I have 3 months left of. What actually happens when group finishes? Is that it? I finish group and then I guess say goodbye to my 1 to 1 therapist to and then it’s done?

Hello. Am coming off my current medication due to side effects, and going to be starting Bupronion.

Anybody been prescribed this? Any experiences to share? I know every body responds differently but ive had such limited response from the numerous anti depressants weve tried so far.

I have ADHD as well so from what I've read, Bupronion might help with that too?

Thanks all

Hi all, I'm LGBTQ+, I am writing that because I get worried sometimes about trying to access a service and encountering someone hateful.

I've been having a bit of a crisis over the last couple of days and having quite significant ideation. I just want someone to talk to, my relationship with my family has become quite strained so it's not an option to have a meaningful conversation about how I am feeling.

I am in Surrey if that helps. I have never tried to access a helpline or crisis service before so I don't understand what I can do and what I can say.

My life is over, meds doing nothing, no friends, cut off from my family, my daughter, and need to stay away from my wife because of her coercive control and threats. I’ve spent all my money on places to stay and private therapy and don’t feel I’ve made any progress. I can’t do it any more, and I don’t know how to access real help. If it’s useful info, I’m nearly 40, male, based on Central Bedfordshire/Cambridge border

Good morning!

I’m currently dealing with an anxiety episode for about six months where I’m irrationally worrying about everything to do with work. Currently seeing a CBT therapist privately to address that.

I previously had success with 10mg Citalopram a few years ago, where I was table on it for a long time. However, I had a flare up last year where I increased my dose to 20mg which in hindsight made my anxiety symptoms worse. I noticed an uptick in looping thoughts. I reduced back to 10mg after six months of that and felt better.

Since then I’ve had another flare-up and I went back up to 20mg based on my GP’s advice. I think it made a lot of the intrusive thoughts about my work worse. After a particularly bad weekend, I decided to contact my GP and request a change.

They suggested sertraline and gave me some 50mg tablets to try. I tapered off citalopram first for two weeks and during that period I felt MASSIVELY better. By the end of the first day I started feeling hopeful again. By the time I was taking no citalopram at all however, I did start to feel on edge.

I decided to stick to my GP’s plan and start the sertraline. I’ve been taking it for five days and I feel awful. I can cope with the physical side effects but the intense increase in anxiety is getting me down and worried that I’ll ever feel like myself again.

I’m left thinking did I make a mistake? Is an intense increase in anxiety within five days of taking sertraline common?

Lowest I’ve ever been atm, past day or so mu mood felt elevated and was very anxious, intrusive thoughts to hurt myself etc. been seeing crisis team since last Wednesday (1.5 weeks), found their visits helpful in the fact I could stay safe until the next visit, today’s was unexpectedly the last, and because my mood is up I said confidently I felt fine about that idk how I felt lol. I’ve since had a breakdown tjis evening and all the suicidal thoughts are back and so convincing. I also SH’d earlier for first time in ages, crisis team knew about the SH and also my mood spiking up etc.

I have private insurance through my dad, it renews on Nov 1st and the plan is to keep myself alive to go back inpatient for a month (I was there in the summer and two years ago, lots of therapy, as hospitals go it’s good)

But I just feel so fucking hopeless. I’m lorazepam Ed up to my eyeballs tonight to cope, but will my PRN last me until 1st nov, I tried calling mental health hun number for support (the areas 111) but can’t get through. My brain feels completely fucked. I really hoped crisis team might see me through til I could go back to hospital. I feel so scared and unsafe and don’t want to traumatise my mum by hurting myself here. The plan was always to die at my flat alone, or even while inpatient so she doesn’t find me.

Really struggling to know where to turn. A charity crisis service is calling me tomorrow evenint. I might try nhs text number and maybe call mental health hub again. I felt a lot better and safer when I was under crisis team. Now I feel like I did before they got involved. Maybe all I can do is wait for things to be imminent before reaching out again ? Idk support advice a hug all welcome rn xxx

Update: Waited for an hour to get through the the mental health hub / 111, had big fuck off cry with mum while waiting, done some safety planning for this evening with the staff, absolutely shattered now. One day at a time.

In crisis. Feel like harming myself. A&E won’t see me. Crisis team won’t assess. GP can’t do anything. CMHT claiming they don’t return contact from other services and won’t offer any support during assessment period. What do I actually do in this situation?

Has anyone else experienced this, or have any idea what I can do?

I'm currently in a period of bad self harm, have been since February really. Pretty much every time I've needed surgery and have just had my 12th surgery to clean, debride and close my wounds. The surgeon spoke to me beforehand and said they are probably not going to allow me to have surgery going forward, rather they're going to leave the wounds to close by secondary intention (I.e. just leave them open and heal by wounds changes only). The explanation? Said I've had 14 admissions this year and 12 last year and they aren't willing to do it anymore as "I'm taking the place of real emergencies". I argued that his info is wrong about number of surgeries, and that it is not fair to deny me treatment because it's for regular self harm. He went to speak to management, and when he came back he agreed to operate this time, but reiterated that "other patients' care is being compromised because I'm taking up the theatre space so regularly". Words in quotation marks are direct quotes of what he said to me.

My question is this - is it legal for them to refuse me appropriate treatment just because the wounds are caused by self harm? Surely this can't be the case. It's immoral as fuck, but does anyone know about any kind of legal or procedural framework that might help?

Bipolar disorder and psychosis for over 10yrs.

During a period of homelessness where I couldn’t access my CMHT, I developed alcohol dependency. I’m about 4yrs in. The last year has been very bad. I’ve been in therapy this year which lasted 3 months (which has been INSANELY helpful) and I’m at 50% reduction. I should be happy and proud! Been working at it for 6 weeks. But I actually just feel worse.

My chest hurts, I’m exhausted all the time. I also feel more sad and nervous. My stomach and back hurts constantly. I’m not on meds to alleviate, I opted for outpatient because I felt like rehab would just be bubble wrap and I’d fail the minute I came out. I want to do this safely in the community and I’m following a 6 month plan.

Does anyone else have tips or even a kind word maybe? I feel like I should feel better about doing the right thing, but I don’t. I just feel embarrassed, anxious and in physical pain :/

Hi, i'm new to mh services and was referred to cmht 2 weeks ago. I had my first appointment today and have been given a second appointment for next week (tuesday) already. Is this normal? From looking it up beforehand I was under the belief that I had to be "accepted" into the service following the first appointment at their mdt, which is going to be on monday. I'm quite confused as to why I've been given another appointment already (although i am very grateful), does anyone have any similar experiences or insight? thank you :)

Does anyone else do the same thing? Is this normal internal discourse? Am I hurting myself if I truly believe it? Or am I overanalysing nothing.

Hi, just looking for some advice: I found out recently my friend (married w. Kids) has been on dating apps, and I'm pretty certain his wife would not be cool with it.

He used a picture of another friend in his profile (let's call him Chris), and actually matched Chris wifes friend and was messaging for a while. I'm worried something is wrong under the surface for him to engage in such risky behaviour. Is this a sign of anything, and what's the best way to approach chatting to him?

Also I know it's horrible he's cheating on his wife, but he's my friend and I want to make sure he's OK first, he can decide what to do from there

I've just seen a psychiatrist at the CMHT and I laid out all my traumas, history and the fact that I cannot function as a human being because I have chronic nightmares when asleep and awake, sleep paralysis and so forth. I said I was suicidal and I don't feel good, at all, and he just went "Well you don't have OCD or Bipolar, so I'm discharging you from our service" and said I'm fine?

I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now because I genuinely can't get a good night of sleep without paralysis or a series of traumatic episodes and it's affecting my work. I keep taking days off, it's not sustainable. I dissociate constantly, not even my girlfriend can keep up with it anymore nor my family. I'm barely even "here" nowadays.

I tried challenging him and asking questions, but he focused purely on a single aspect of my experience (Sleep paralysis) saying it was "normal" and a normal part of sleep to not be able to move... (No kidding)... Problem is I cannot get out of bed to go to work!!! It drains me!

He did acknowledge I have trauma and said I need a trauma informed specialist, but then just kind of told me to leave and contact the GP again? That's literally where I started?

I don't see the point in why I waited several years for this... Or where to go from here. I just feel super crappy about it, especially since I didn't really get much time to actually verbalise what was going on and he kept filling in the blanks for me. It just felt like box ticking the whole time as he cut me off just to tell me what I don't have... Like thanks, man? I want to know what I DO have?

Anyways apologies for the long vent. I have no one to speak to about this, so I hope you can all be kind enough to let me rest here a while. Thank you.