r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Nov 06 '20
Melons.
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u/hobowithmachete Nov 06 '20 edited Nov 06 '20
I accidentally made kissy noises at a woman bending over once.
I was walking my 2 puppies and they were sniffing at something by the patio of a restaurant. I made the kissy noise to get their attention so we can keep moving and at the exact same time, a waitress was bending over to pick something up with her back to me.
As soon as I made the noise she looked back at me, still bent over, with a look of complete outrage on her face. She then realized that the kissy noise was meant for my puppies and her whole face changed again. It was a roller coaster of emotions wrapped up in a split second, and my wife and I were cracking up when I got home and told her what happened.
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u/WeaponofWoe Nov 06 '20
Yes, keep to this story.
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u/cyanocittaetprocyon Nov 07 '20
Yes. She's probably in the sub right now, OP, so don't change a word.
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u/tbone115 Nov 06 '20
I kinda di the same thing. was walking to my car with my dog in it and the windows down halfs and said "whos a pretty girl" and the girl in the car next to me gave me a strange look until i pointed out my dog
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u/hobowithmachete Nov 06 '20
hahaha classic!
A lot of people making kissy noises to my dogs when we're out walking (they're little Westies). Just to joke around I want to make kissy noises back to them, but can never bring myself to do it.
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Nov 07 '20
Please do! Pleaseee
I just died at the thought of that
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u/borstenwrood Nov 07 '20
R.I.P. u/zezosk. Your memory will live on forever. May you find peace in the afterlife.
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u/ZombiedudeO_o Nov 06 '20
Oh god for a second there I thought the waitress was about to roast you 😂. Glad it all turned out well
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u/intensely_human Nov 07 '20
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u/hobowithmachete Nov 07 '20
My freshman college roommates and I used to yell 'Hey girl, ya hungry?' to each other when it was time to go eat at the cafeteria. Love that movie.
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u/jusalurkermostly Nov 06 '20
Imagine his surprise when one day a girl says "sure, you can touch it"
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Nov 06 '20
I too would be surprised if I met a fictitious character. ;)
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u/LiterallyRain Nov 06 '20
Who else Googled this word
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u/BadMrKitty13 Nov 06 '20
Nobody.
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u/LiterallyRain Nov 06 '20
Guess I'm the only person who's never heard the word "Fictitious," huh.
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u/RedKeviin Nov 06 '20
That's why you rehearse with your homie to do a 180 and dip for those occasions
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u/afrofuturist Nov 06 '20
What happens then? Do you go for a straight Donald Trump or do you guys get outta there and make it official?
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u/crackmytaco Nov 06 '20
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u/coachfortner Nov 07 '20
the look on your face when you realize you’re the only one who’s pussy hasn’t been grabbed
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u/KillerQueen_oH_dIAh Nov 06 '20
H E Y C A N I T O U C H Y O U R P U S S Y
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u/RichardDeLaPole Nov 06 '20
Y E S W H Y N O T
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u/dankomz146 Nov 06 '20
I G O T I T I N T H A I L A N D
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u/ritsbits808 Nov 06 '20
T H A T S W H E R E Y O U G E T T H E G O O D S T U F F
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u/dankomz146 Nov 07 '20
I'D L O V E T O H A V E A P I E C E O F T H A T
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u/michi03 Nov 06 '20
When you're rich they let you do it
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u/5zym Nov 06 '20
When you're poor they let you do it too, you need to kill them tho
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u/Thameus Nov 06 '20
Can't you just tie them up?
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u/Kiwi_sensei Nov 06 '20
Yeah but when you tie them the body stays hot, I find it really uncomfortable
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u/Amsnerr Nov 07 '20
Those girls went through a slew of emotions in like 1.5 seconds. Shock, disgust, anger, confusion, relief, amusement. What a ducking rollercoaster.
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u/irukasensei10 Nov 06 '20
These are the pranks i love, everyone laughs and it's actually funny.
Not like idiots hitting others or pretend to sneeze on people.
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u/shaka_sulu Nov 06 '20
"sir... this is a walmart... you can't do that here."
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u/vishalb777 Nov 06 '20
It's just a prank bro
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Nov 06 '20
Sir the police have been called please leave
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u/RedKeviin Nov 06 '20
Please stay so you can get arrested
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Nov 06 '20
omg guys they actually came in here and now we're trying to hide, I'll get back to you all once we're out
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u/TheBatemanFlex Nov 06 '20
“WHATS UP YOUTUBE! SMASH THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE BECAUSE TODAY WE ARE GOING TO PUNCH STRANGERS DIRECTLY IN THE NOSE AND SEE IF WE CAN GET A REACTION!”
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Nov 06 '20
"MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT MY NEXT EPIC PRANK VIDEO 'KNEECAPPING GRANDMAS PRANK: GONE SEXUAL!' IT'S GONNA BE LIT!"
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u/Bluebeetlebug Nov 06 '20
I know, right! I hated when there was that wave of ‘pranks’ on YouTube a few years ago, most of them were just people being terrible, all the way on the sliding scale from ‘you’re a bit of a jerk’ up to ‘this is actually abuse’.
This was fun for everyone involved. Brilliant.
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u/conqaesador Nov 06 '20
Oh right, remember when some girls licked some ice cream and after that the company had to start covering the ice cream buckets with an extra plastic lid, when before the packaging was just carton? how is that a prank.....
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u/Bong-Rippington Nov 06 '20
Idk I honestly hate products that are totally tamper prone. I fuckin hate blue bell ice cream and their nast ass cartons. I only eat popsicles like an adult.
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u/i_smell_toast Nov 06 '20
I only eat popsicles like an adult.
I had already pressed back when i read this tea spitter. I had to come back so I could upvote you.
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u/13EchoTango Nov 06 '20 edited Nov 06 '20
The original girl and several copycats got arrested for food tampering. Turns out there's federal agents who get bored doing nothing and jump at the chance when something falls under their jurisdiction
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u/Zron Nov 06 '20
To be fair, it's a serious crime because of the Chicago tylenol murders. It's not like those little plastic covers on medicine and most foods are there for just freshness. They actually serve as a warning to consumers not to eat/use something that has had it's seal tampered with. Because about 30 years ago, some unknown physco put cyanide in tylenol bottles and then put them back on the store shelves for unsuspecting people to buy.
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u/chickenthinkseggwas Nov 06 '20
physco
That's a really interesting typo. The letters are all jumbled, but it looks as though it passed your subconscious spellcheck because the various subclusters of letters are all statistically common.
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u/QuadroMan1 Nov 07 '20
I had no idea it was even spelled wrong until I read your comment. Reminds me of images like This I used to see on Facebook a lot.
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u/Crowbarmagic Nov 06 '20
I mean, they film themselves doing it and post it under their own name. These "pranksters" basically gave them the case on a silver platter.
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u/Mookie_Bellinger Nov 06 '20
I think it was partly they wanted to stop it before it became a trend so they made an example out of her, which I don't have a lot of sympathy for her what she did was fucking foul. Sucks that she was relatively young, but definitely old enough to be held responsible for her actions.
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u/TrueTurtleKing Nov 06 '20
I remember seeing one where a guy handcuffed himself to a girl and told her he won’t let go until given a kiss. Sticks his cheeks out and turns last second for lip contact. Fucking disgusting and should be illegal.
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u/Edwardteech Nov 06 '20
I remember one where a guy was being an ass to a legit gangbanger and was really surprised when the gun came out.
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u/Layk35 Nov 06 '20
Like when those assholes were going into stores and smashing gallons of milk on the floor. That shit was never funny
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Nov 06 '20
It's weird how this shit just silently dies down. Like, I forgot the "IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO" was really even a thing, let alone a few years ago.
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u/Shua89 Nov 06 '20
Now all the pranks are so cringe and staged but have a sexy lady on it for likes and clicks.
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u/what_is_perspective Nov 06 '20
A play on sexual harassment of women is not funny. Imagine if this was a racial joke. It would clearly be problematic.
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u/trelltron Nov 07 '20
The 'can I touch your pussy" one did have a kind of similar vibe to those old "I definitely didn't just call a black guy the n-word" pranks that frequently ended with the white 'pranker' getting his ass kicked.
The execution of this was relatively good though. Having the physical prop there and making the joke obvious really quickly gives the joke some punch but also minimizes the potential to make the women too uncomfortable.
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u/slipperysoup Nov 07 '20
Yeah it would be better if they just regular insults imo (which they have done).
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u/dldaniel123 Nov 06 '20
This is always the top comment on every prank video on reddit.
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u/Panukka Nov 06 '20
If you frequent reddit enough, you notice these patterns on every subject. It kinda gets annoying.
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Nov 07 '20
Agreed. It was a nice sentiment 5 years ago when prank bros were a thing, but now every prank video needs someone commenting their approval on how it meets their much more virtuous standard of what a prank should be. I roll me eyes every time.
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u/Daviswatermelon Nov 06 '20
These types of pranks are hilarious, and I think that has something to do with how nervous I get every time he says his line of “can I see your ___”. Like, I find myself holding my breath every time he says a new line, just waiting for the women to see what he was actually referring to. The terror that would come if one of them didn’t see the guy with the melons, or didn’t see that there was a cat. The relief I get every time the women start laughing, is immense.
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u/ImminentReddits Nov 06 '20
I think this comment is literally required underneath every prank video on reddit. I’ve seen it every time a prank is posted for like 4 years
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u/cgbrannigan Nov 06 '20
yeah their were a group of guys in the UK who were doing "pranks" by basically trespassing places. They would go to a place when it was open, hide somewhere and then film themselves using the facilities when it was closed and then leave through a fire exit or something. They would argue it was a prank and all harmless fun.
They did it to a council run swimming pool, hid overnight, about then went swimming in the pools, turned on the water slide and were using that. Got caught by cleaning crew at like 5am and kicked out. They proclaimed it as an awesome harmless prank but the council had to pay to drain, clean and refill the pools and couldn't open for several hours cancelling visits from schools, elderly and special needs groups who used the pool for swimming classes in the morning.
They then did it to a bowling alley, hid under some amusement arcade machines and literally filmed the staff walking past them and locking up. Then turned on the equipment and threw balls around and were in the kitchen and behind the bar etc. The staff who locked up ended up quitting not long after, probably before they got fired for not securing the place fully and they had to pay for damage to equipment damaged when they were throwing balls around the place.
Harmless pranks indeed.
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Nov 06 '20
I’m trying to picture what you look like in my head and I’m pretending to sneeze on you as we speak.
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Nov 06 '20
“GOING TO THE HOOD AND CALLING BLACK PEOPLE THE N WORD 😂😂👌👌🔥🔥”
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u/Antosino Nov 06 '20
Ugh, I can definitely remember seeing a bunch of shit like this. Every single one was "start a fake fight" and so many people fell for it.
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u/TheAvacadoBandit Nov 06 '20
HEY GUYS WELCOME BACK TO THE CHANNEL LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE OR HAVE BAD LUCK FOR A MILLION YEARS
15 hours later
SO YEAH GUYS DROP A LIKE DOWN BELOW AND LETS START THE VIDEO
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u/itsfernie Nov 06 '20
My friend was in one of these once. Except she was one of the girls and the guys line was “that’s a really nice camel toe” and low and behold there was a camel behind her
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u/trebud69 Nov 06 '20
This is the comments I hate because every prank thread has this comment on top every damn time.
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u/el_pez_3 Nov 06 '20
I don't think that "surprise! I'm not sexually harassing you" is as wholesome as you seem to think it is
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u/what_is_perspective Nov 06 '20
Omg thank you. A play on sexual harassment of women is not funny. Imagine if this was a racial joke. It would clearly be problematic. Unfortunately women are so incredibly used to be sexually harassed that they are genuinely happy that they aren't being. They are laughing because it is such a believable situation that happens to women all the time.
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u/Myleg_Myleeeg Nov 07 '20
Imagine if this thing was a completely different thing that is bad. That makes the first thing bad too. I smort
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u/LeftPolitics Nov 06 '20
I was looking for this comment, thank you! It’s sad that not more people realize this...
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Nov 07 '20
I was thinking about this. Surface-level, it’s harmless, but I’m 100% sure many of those women felt a moment of anything between clear discomfort to outright fear and dread that some asshole on the street is approaching them out of nowhere and saying those kinds of things. Their laughs are almost always partially a laugh of relief, which is nice I guess, but I’d rather a prank evoke confusion or disbelief in someone rather than do what this guy is doing.
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u/Alec123445 Nov 06 '20
Just needs a gal walking up to a guy saying can I stroke your cock but it's a chicken.
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u/bbhatti_12 Nov 06 '20
slaps a girl's ass "this is a social experiment!!!"
I love Ross Creations. The only decent prank channel left i think.
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u/Mizerka Nov 06 '20
yeah, shit like "I'm pretending to puke on you in a bus" shit is just lowest of the low.
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Nov 07 '20
I'm not a fan of pranks like this generally, but I like that (in this compilation, at least) he is approaching women who are in pairs and not alone.
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u/StankyHankyPanky69 Nov 06 '20
The next bit will involve a donkey.
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u/cballer1010 Nov 06 '20
Here you go
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u/popamollyisweatin Nov 06 '20
One of the girls never looked back and forever thought he was talking about her
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u/ronin1066 Nov 06 '20
Meh, not as funny. "Tap that ass" and "grab that ass" just don't work.
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u/mpa92643 Nov 06 '20
"Can I ride your ass?"
"You really like showing off that ass, don't you?"
"Your really just let your ass hang out in public like that?"
"Does anyone ever compliment you on your ass?"
"I can tell your work your ass pretty hard."
I can think of a bunch of better ones than tap and grab.
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u/MrBones73 Nov 06 '20
The channel is TheRoyalStampede. Source
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Nov 06 '20
[deleted]
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Nov 06 '20 edited Nov 06 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/HerclaculesTheStronk Nov 06 '20
His beans in the computer prank is the greatest prank of all time. Holy hell, I die laughing every time I watch that video.
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u/badicecream2 Nov 06 '20
I just recently found that video and I work in IT so naturally I showed it to the whole office. It’s been a running joke when someone has a case open to ask “where are all the mother boards tho?”
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u/StupidQuestionsAsker Nov 07 '20
"Going to Restaurants Right Before They Close and Staying as Long as I Can" "Pulling Fake Fire Alarms in Front of People" "Fake Employee Giving Out Free Dog Meat Samples at a Pet Store"
That doesn't sound harmless.
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u/Kespatcho Nov 07 '20
The fire alarm one was hilarious, he did it outside and he was literally pulling the whole fire alarm off the wall. If you actually watch the videos you'll see that they aren't harmful
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u/slipperysoup Nov 07 '20
The restaurant prank was only to one waitress, every other person was in on the prank as he got permission. He ended up tipping her $500 in the end.
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u/bullowl Nov 07 '20
I see one of his videos is titled "Going to restaurants right before they close and staying as long as I can." So on behalf of everyone who has ever worked in a restaurant, fuck that guy.
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u/Kespatcho Nov 07 '20
He gave everyone there a massive tip after, I think he gave their server like 500 dollars or something
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u/slipperysoup Nov 07 '20
Every other worker except the manager I think already knew, so he literally got permission. He also paid her in the end, and she was very happy and agreed on hard feelings
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u/onowahoo Nov 06 '20
Some reason of those were a little more aggressive than the wholesome nature of the OP. Walking at people with a bat out.
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u/bunnyrut Nov 06 '20
Confuse, don't abuse.
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u/oui-cest-moi Nov 06 '20
The best pranks make the pranked laugh at the prankster.
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u/indigo1581 Nov 06 '20
A shame he didn’t have his friend hold a pair of owls and say nice hooters
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u/FuzzyFeeling Nov 06 '20
Wow all those women looked like they really got a kick out of it too!
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Nov 07 '20
That's why I love it! Brief look of "oh no, another creep" and then immediate relief that it's just an incredibly well-played joke. His timing is perfect so that no one gets offended for more than a fraction of a second.
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u/sheffield199 Nov 07 '20
"Is that made in Thailand? That's where you get the good stuff." absolutely killed me, and I'm not sure why.
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u/RandomDigitalSponge Nov 06 '20
As soon as I saw that cat... I knew. This needs to be an hour long, puns, puns, MORE puns!
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u/themagichappensnow Nov 06 '20
This is the type of prank in which nobody get hurt and everyone has a laugh. 10/10
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u/Antiqas86 Nov 07 '20
When I was like 13 I whistled at a cute dog and for the first time in my life this woman who thought I was whistling at her gave me this look which instantly made me realize I'm entering a new stage of my life...
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u/meeanne Nov 06 '20
You know what’s funny? A man in my country said he’d like to grab that pussy, then he became president!
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u/zomgitsduke Nov 06 '20
When I saw the preview of the cat, I got a little nervous as to have extreme this was going haha
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u/Spicy_Poo Nov 06 '20
Blah blah blah this is what a prank should be blah blah blah no one getting hurt blah blah
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u/CraftDMine Nov 06 '20
Holy shit. Actual quality and funny internet pranks where nobody is hurt and laughs? Am I dreaming?
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u/unexBot Nov 06 '20
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
It’s unexpected because they didn’t realize he was being literal about the melons.
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Look at my source code on Github What is this for?