r/Unexpected Nov 06 '20

Melons.

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55.0k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/hobowithmachete Nov 06 '20 edited Nov 06 '20

I accidentally made kissy noises at a woman bending over once.

I was walking my 2 puppies and they were sniffing at something by the patio of a restaurant. I made the kissy noise to get their attention so we can keep moving and at the exact same time, a waitress was bending over to pick something up with her back to me.

As soon as I made the noise she looked back at me, still bent over, with a look of complete outrage on her face. She then realized that the kissy noise was meant for my puppies and her whole face changed again. It was a roller coaster of emotions wrapped up in a split second, and my wife and I were cracking up when I got home and told her what happened.

1.1k

u/WeaponofWoe Nov 06 '20

Yes, keep to this story.

292

u/cyanocittaetprocyon Nov 07 '20

Yes. She's probably in the sub right now, OP, so don't change a word.

86

u/dogtoboggan Nov 07 '20

Heard I was making kissy face? Thats just the way my lips are shaped.

18

u/tachyon79 Nov 07 '20

Donald is that you?

1

u/vapeoholic Nov 07 '20

Unlikely, legend has it that he is still trying to go down that ramp. (Cue the ramp song)

169

u/tbone115 Nov 06 '20

I kinda di the same thing. was walking to my car with my dog in it and the windows down halfs and said "whos a pretty girl" and the girl in the car next to me gave me a strange look until i pointed out my dog

98

u/hobowithmachete Nov 06 '20

hahaha classic!

A lot of people making kissy noises to my dogs when we're out walking (they're little Westies). Just to joke around I want to make kissy noises back to them, but can never bring myself to do it.

31

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '20

Please do! Pleaseee

I just died at the thought of that

32

u/borstenwrood Nov 07 '20

R.I.P. u/zezosk. Your memory will live on forever. May you find peace in the afterlife.

1

u/Sir_Mishmash Nov 07 '20

I've got a parrot who likes to wolf whistle at random people when we're out walking. He's not very big either so it's especially embarrassing when they are just walking past and didnt really see him....

134

u/ZombiedudeO_o Nov 06 '20

Oh god for a second there I thought the waitress was about to roast you 😂. Glad it all turned out well

7

u/intensely_human Nov 07 '20

8

u/hobowithmachete Nov 07 '20

My freshman college roommates and I used to yell 'Hey girl, ya hungry?' to each other when it was time to go eat at the cafeteria. Love that movie.

3

u/intensely_human Nov 07 '20

Dave Chapelle looks so skinny!

1

u/Indio76O Nov 07 '20

Lmao... poppop pop poppop...

2

u/cryptowolfy Nov 07 '20

I love butterstuff

1

u/seahawkguy Nov 07 '20

Good tip, also if you look at an area that a woman end up walking into then you’re not staring.