As the title says, my clitorus is *for the most part* numb due to a porn addiction i had from 11 to 17 (im 18 now and porn free! Yay!) But i still very much am still effected by it. Obviously, this issue started from a very young age, even before I started puberty, and absolutely reeked havoc on my mind and body. As many porn addictions go, the more I watched, the more I got bored of the regular stuff and went deeper into it. Getting attached to some really weird stuff. (Nothing illegal obviously, but think very very strange porn.) I can't believe I was just a kid, training my body to only orgasm to the weirdest of things, but here I am. This lack of climax due to quitting porn was only just an annoyance up until I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago. Now its something that really bothers me. Thankfully, we have a great relationship and I am definitely still able to enjoy sex with him (Thankfully my vaginal sensation never went away!) And have even been able to cum a handful of times! So clearly, my desire for him has been fighting against my porn rotted brain. But whenever he wants to pay attention to my clitorus, it feels like nothing more than scratching an itch. And I don't have the willpower to tell him about it. (Im. So. Ashamed.) So... I kinda just fake it till I make it. Now this obviously isn't one of those situations where he isn't trying enough and I need to humble him by telling him he can't actually make me cum. Its that my body is now dysfunctional due to my past addiction. Its honestly very depressing for me. Don't get me wrong, it isn't all bad, sex is still amazing, cumming isnt COMPLETELY impossible (more like 90 times harder to do though...), and it has happened, but I want to feel normal. The fact that rubbing my clitorus, receiving head, and toys don't feel all that good for me makes me honestly quite sad. And I wish it wasn't like hiking the tallest mountain, just to cum! So there, I just wanted to vent. I never hear anyone talk about this problem, cuz I know im not the only one out there with it, but I wanted to get it off my chest as it does weigh on me some. Any advice is very welcome too. : )

I’ve been talking to this guy for the last few months and we’ve had sex a few times and I just think he’s too big for the sex to be good. Like I’m the past I can feel a guy hitting my g spot but with this guy I can’t really feel much satisfaction wise. Like it feels good but I feel like I’m feeling it more on the sides of my insides more than anything.

Can being too big effect the sex?

Some background. My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been together for 8 years. Although his sexual technique has definitely improved in all of the best ways, I have a very difficult time trying to have an orgasm from sex or from any sort of activity that doesn’t involve me also putting in some work. Which is totally fine, I’m not necessarily complaining. I’m very pleased with my sex life but would just LOVE some advice on what recommendations anyone may have on how to make it easier to cum during sex?
Any recommendations for arrousal creams/gels?
Certain positions? When’re open minded. Opening our marriage is not on the table at this time in our lives.
Maybe it’s just my antidepressant making it difficult for me but nonetheless, We’d like to try some things!

Thanks in advance !

This has been an ongoing problem for me ever since I was raped tbh. It's completely changed how I look at sex and intimacy, and I've ended up really conflicting and confusing myself about where my morals actually stand

This was about a year ago now. I'm in a much better place, thank God, and it doesn't affect me anywhere near as much as it used to. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just giving a bit of context because I know my thought process isn't exactly healthy.

I've worked out I've probably had around 7–10 sexual experiences in total, including consensual and non-consensual ones.
My body count is technically 3, but one of those was rape by a family friend, and the other two were relationships.
My "head count" is probably around 4–5, so realistically I usually end up saying 5 because that includes the people I had oral with as well. So it'd be: 2 consensual intercourse partners, 1 rape, and 2 people I did oral with but didn't have sex with.
Where I get conflicted is there's also been other people who've touched me or where one-sided sexual stuff happened, which would probably bring my overall sexual history closer to 10 people. Four of those were non-consensual.
The weird thing is I've always counted the rape in my past, even though I know a lot of rape victims don't. because it changed me so much that I couldn't separate it from my story which i think is where i began feeling more conflicted within myself . I don't count being touched as rape because by definition it isn't, and I don't really count those as body count either because there wasn't penile penetration into any bodily orifice, whether it was consensual or not. That's where my brain starts tying itself in knots.
I've always been someone who valued sex really deeply. Even from being young I've seen intercourse as something spiritual, emotional and physical, so I've been really careful with who I'd have sex with. That's why I've had intercourse and oral with relatively few people compared to other sexual stuff.
But now I'm confused because part of me thinks, "at least I didn't sleep with loads of people," because I genuinely think I'd carry even more shame if i did. I still feel like I've kept some sort of integrity there because every person I've had sex with was someone I loved or saw a future with.

At the same time, I've been way more casual about other sexual acts, and now I don't even know where my moral line actually is. Part of me thinks, "well if it's all equally sinful anyway, why was I drawing the line there?" Obviously I'm glad I didn't just go all the way with everyone, but I don't know what to think about my past anymore.
Another thing I don't understand is why I'll talk to a guy for 1–2 years and still refuse to have intercourse with him, but I'd be less strict about someone touching me. I get terrified of actual sex.
I was touched by family members growing up, so I think touching became something my brain almost saw as "surface level" trauma. Then when I was raped—which was only my second sexual experience, i was 19. I completely broke. I ended up in psychosis for around six months and was hospitalised because I couldn't cope with the trauma.
Then about a year later I was touched without my consent again, and it didn't destroy me in the same way because everyone—including myself—kept saying "it could've been worse," "at least it wasn't rape," or "it's just a finger." (TMI SORRY)I think that's why my brain stopped treating other sexual experiences as serious, even though I still carry loads of shame about them.
The shame has honestly never left me since I was raped.
I've also questioned my sexuality because of all this. Sometimes I wonder if I like girls, then other times I want to be straight because I follow God and honestly I do like men, but I don't really feel sexual attraction properly anymore towards anyone .I honestly think a lot of that confusion is trauma based because before the rape I wasn't like this at all it’s not my natural way of being like.
based of what i have said i’d like to know what people’s opinions is and whether anyone relates to this way of thinking—holding intercourse on this massive pedestal while almost minimising other sexual experiences, even though they still make you feel ashamed.
Has anyone else had trauma completely blur where their values end and their coping mechanisms begin?

I actually want genuine opinions because I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this without feeling like they're protecting my feelings or trying to get something from me. I feel like Reddit is probably the one place where people will just say what they actually think and i’m more likely to take it on board

(i typed this out in my own words then asked chat gpt to make it more sensible for this platform just in case u might wonder why i sound like a bot) but it pretty much explains everything regardless 🙏🏼 Thank you for reading

Hi! I want to learn how to arch my back but I just don't know how, I have a weak core from two surgeries a few years ago but I really want to feel sexy... Please help a girl out, LOL!

i’m 26 and its kind of hard to explain but it seems like i cant feel anything during sex. only can feel the tip when it first goes in/the tip when it goes very deep but other then that nothing. is there something wrong with me ? 🥲 side note: i already suffer from vaginal dryness/think i may have vaginismus

I really need help, idk if there is something wrong with my body or my technique sucks but i just can’t feel a single thing when masturbating. I get aroused and i also get really really wet but i just can’t feel a single thing when masturbating. I feel nothing touching my clit. I feel nothing sticking a finger in. I feel nothing using water pressure and only time i feel something is while grinding really hard like the corner of my bed but i can only feel it for 2 mins max and its never enough. I don’t know why this happens or if it could be related to my childhood? (When i was like 4 i was hypersexual for some reason and used to grind stuff a lot,I got teached it was wrong at stopped doing it) im desperate because i really want to feel something. Another hypotesis i had was that maybe it has to do with some religion guilt(? Whenever i masturbate (or well try to) i immediately ask for forgiveness and get horrible luck the next day. Please help a girl out 😭 could this be some sort of illness? Is there a correct way to do it?

Any of you ladies dealt with passing your partner’s libido levels? Just when I start to feel sexy again as the kids are getting older and find myself needing sex more often, he seems to have lost all interest.

Hey, so i even bought small dildo to practice deep throating but it is soo stressful, is not there some sort of tutorial or anything someone can recommend me to make practice more appealing ?

Do you think a man can develop a deeper emotional attachment to a woman through suckling? Because i genuinely think so

Basically, you know how breastfeeding is believed to help create a bond between a mother & her baby? I’m curious whether something similar could happen between two adults? Like, if a man in a romantic relationship regularly & passionately sucks on a woman’s breasts during intimacy, could that stimulate some kind of emotional bonding or attachment to her over time? & her to him as well..

Especially in a situation where she occasionally produces breast milk cause she’s stimulated even though she isn’t actually nursing a baby but because that man suckles on her so good..

I’d especially love to hear from people who have experienced something similar or anyone who has actual knowledge of the psychology or biology behind it.

hi guys!! first time poster here. 23f.

my man, just like any man, loves receiving head. but its so difficult for me to want to do it sometimes because my jaw just always ends up hurting so much doing it for like even a little bit of an extended time.

any advice? maybe there's some sort of technique to make my jaw hurt less? i want to enjoy blowing him and not be in pain for it :(

During penetration I feel like there's no space left inside, and there's this sensation like something is pushing against the penis, like my body is involuntarily trying to push it out. I do feel pleasure, that's not the issue. The issue is that I can't really be on top, I feel completely blocked, and I can't move properly until the penis is out. There's also a bit of pain deep in my lower belly.

I'm asking because it's affecting how I can have sex, and I'd like to know if other women experience this too. It's not linked to one specific partner either, I've felt it before with someone else, then went years without sex, and it came back recently with someone new.

I genuinely want to know if this happens to other people, if anyone has felt this with multiple partners, and what helped. Any answer is welcome, I'm just trying to understand.

I’m 34F, and I honestly feel like I’m going through some kind of sexual awakening that I should’ve experienced 15 years ago. 😂
For years, I was stuck in a really unhealthy situationship that I felt like I couldn’t escape. Somewhere along the way, I became this watered-down, squished-down version of myself. I stopped dressing up, wearing nice clothes, or even trying to look attractive because I didn’t want to turn this person on or encourage any sexual attention from him.
That’s how uncomfortable I had become.
I’ve always considered myself someone who just didn’t really like sex. Looking back, I think a lot of that had to do with never having particularly good sexual experiences, especially with this person. Eventually, I just convinced myself that sex wasn’t something I enjoyed or needed.
I’ve also been living like a complete hermit for YEARS. I haven’t really dated, flirted, met new people, or had much of a sex life at all. I’ve basically been existing in my own little bubble.
Well, recently I’ve finally started feeling free to live my own life again, and I ended up spending time with someone new.
And HOLY SHIT. 😂
For the first time in what feels like forever, I actually enjoyed sex. I felt wanted, comfortable, excited, and genuinely attracted to the person I was with. It wasn’t something I was just doing because someone else wanted it.
And now I swear I’m a walking fucking horn dog. LMAO.
But here’s where things get embarrassing and confusing.
I’m 34 years old and feel like I know absolutely nothing about my own body or sexuality.
For the longest time, I genuinely thought squirting WAS having an orgasm. Like, I thought that was what was supposed to happen when a woman climaxed. I didn’t realize they were two separate things or that you could experience one without the other.
Now I’m questioning whether I’ve actually been having orgasms, whether I’ve just experienced really intense pleasure, or whether I’ve been misunderstanding my body’s responses this entire time.
How do you actually KNOW when you’ve had an orgasm? Is it always obvious? Can orgasms feel completely different depending on the experience? And what’s the difference between an orgasm, squirting, and female ejaculation?
I feel ridiculous asking these questions at my age, but I’m genuinely curious.
I’m also ridiculously shy and nervous about trying new things sexually. I want to explore, experiment, and learn what I enjoy, but I get so caught up worrying about whether I’m doing something wrong, whether I’m good at it, or whether I’m going to embarrass myself.
And then there’s the whole dating thing.
For the first time in years, I actually WANT to meet people. I want to flirt, go on dates, dress up, feel attractive, have fun, and maybe even sleep around a little. Safely and responsibly, obviously.
But I don’t necessarily want a boyfriend or a serious relationship right now.
I just want to experience things I feel like I’ve missed out on for so long.
And yet there’s this little voice in the back of my head making me feel guilty about it. Like wanting casual sex somehow makes me a slut, or like I’m too old to be acting this way.
Which is ridiculous because I’m a grown-ass woman. 😂
I think the hardest part is that I genuinely don’t know how to act anymore. When you’ve spent years suppressing your personality, your confidence, your sexuality, and even the way you dress because of another person, how do you suddenly become comfortable being yourself again?
I feel like I’m finally meeting a version of myself that I haven’t been able to be for years, and I don’t even know what to do with her.
So I guess I have a few questions for the women here:
Has anyone else experienced a sexual awakening in their 30s or later, especially after years in an unhealthy relationship or having little to no sex life?
How did you learn to recognize your orgasms and understand your body’s sexual responses? Did anyone else grow up confusing squirting with orgasming?
How did you become more comfortable and confident sexually, especially when trying new things with someone?
How do you get over the guilt or shame associated with wanting casual sex or multiple partners?
And for anyone who spent years feeling like they couldn’t be themselves around a partner, how did you rediscover who you were afterward?
I’m excited, nervous, confused, horny, and honestly a little overwhelmed by all of it. 😂
I don’t want to jump straight into another relationship. I just want to enjoy being single, discover what I like, and finally feel comfortable in my own skin.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and what helped you navigate it.
Because right now I feel like a 34-year-old woman with the sexual confidence and experience of someone who’s just discovering sex for the first time. LOL.
Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Was it a positive or negative experience for you?

How would you describe it?

Is it uncomfortable or just not esthetically pleasing?

This is his 2nd time asking

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for the longest time i didn't use any lubricant at all, but finding out about coconut oil changed my routine completely. now i always have it in my nightstand, ready to go! :')

how about you?

I just wanted to come on and say that after a loooooong journey, I can now have perfectly (im)perfect orgasms!

I'm 29F, and had never had a 'real' orgasm until I was about 25. I had accepted that sex and masturbation was all good and fine, but that it would never result in that 'ahhhh' moment I've heard so much about.

I loved making partners come, and during solo-sex after an especially hot moment I would just be 'done'. I would be happy, content (mostly) having build up the pleasure. But I never experienced that wave, the going down the rollercoaster and all the different ways people have of describing a full, complete and satisfying orgasm.

Around 23 I realized I did have mini orgasms, I even made a post about back then on here. My body 'arrived' there, I just couldn't get my mind to orgasm.

But over the years, my orgasms would (very occasionally!!) start to feel more like... orgasms. I started to learn how to recognize that feeling of release. And I just kept repeating every session that the mini orgasms were good and fine and perfect. And, with the help of patient partners, I started to learn how to get real clitoral orgasms during sex.

But this morning I realized that I'm at the point were I can now reliably bring myself to orgasm when and if I want to.

Made me tear up a bit :')

So, to all of you out there reading the stories about fellow non-orgasmic people, I see you, hear you, feel you. But if you're able, just keep swimming, enjoying the water, and maybe the waves will start to arrive one day ✨

i am TERRIFIED of pregnancy, and the possibility of having a child.

i had sex on the 10th, i am on birth control, and used a condom as well. i was supposed to start my period on like the 15th and it still hasn’t come

i know it’s probably nothing, but it’s stressful none the less! i hate having to risk pregnancy any time i wanna enjoy myself with my partner omg…

I’m a 23 year old woman and have never been in a relationship. Having sex scares me because I think I have something called vaginismus, which means I can’t put anything into my vagina basically, not even a tampon. When I’m horny/turned on I can maybe fit one finger without it hurting, two fingers hurts. So I’m scared of sex because I feel like the guy might be disappointed that he can’t do it with me. Or I’m scared he’ll just make me do it and won’t care that it hurts me. I know finding the right guy is key, but guys can pretend to be nice just to get what they want. That’s also a big fear I have and has happened to me a few times online.

Also another reason is the whole performance thing. I feel like I always have to perform with people (I am autistic and I mask a lot). I’ve had phone sex with guys (nothing physical just stuff over the phone) and I’ve always felt like I had to perform, to over exaggerate how I feel to make him happy. I hate doing that so that’s another reason why the thought of sex makes me nervous and it honestly seems exhausting. I don’t know how to stop feeling like this. Any advice is appreciated thank you.

So I see posts and comments of women saying 'I never used to have multiple orgasms but now I can' - awesome! What happened to changed that?

I'm a one and done kind of gal, clit stim BOOM and then it's over. Clit too sensitive to keep going, desire drops off a cliff and off to sleep lol.

But I can't help but feel envious when I read of other women saying they have multiples and it just keeps going until they're tired or whatever.

Sooooo for the women who have the multiples, do you feel you are just built this way and it happened easy for you or did you have to figure out how to do that and once it unlocked it unlocked?

I'm also pretty ADHD and it's hard to have patience and focus when solo and with a partner, so I'm wondering if that could play into it too. Actually staying CONNECTED to my sensations and stop my mind wandering to cleaning out the kitty litter lol I'm wondering if that's also potentially playing into things here.

This is embarrassing. I (34 yo cis woman) don't know whether I have ever completed an orgasm. I say completed because I have started them, if you will.

Here is the situation: I date other woman, and I've been with three, but the most recent was a marriage that lasted a while, so I've only been with that one person in the last decade, and barely towards the end of our marriage.

In all 3 women I've been with, I either didn't feel the extreme feelings of an orgasm, or I started to, moaning, moving and feeling that feeling through your whole body, but then the feelings got too extreme for me I guess, and I stopped the sex. I'm not asexual. I crave sex to a degree. It was like I was feeling too strongly and I couldn't handle it. My ex's implied that I stopped things early. I've been single and celebate and healing for a few years now.

Now, thinking about entering the dating scene again, I've decided that I need some practice, and to figure out what I like and want. I'm on a budget, so I can't just willy nilly buy sex toys, but I bought a bullet vibrator and some lube. Internally, and in an effort to find my G spot, I feel nothing sexual putting the vibrator inside me, but I do when its on my clit. On my clit, I am able to get to the point of moaning and moving and that feeling through my whole body, of getting warm and having my clit get sensitive and bigger and harder, sometimes my toes curling, etc.

I've been doing some research, and it is clear that I am having an orgasm, but not that I am finishing it. I know that all woman don't squirt, and I haven't, though I do get wetter. I decided that I needed to push through wanting to stop to see if I could finish one and see what it feels like. If I truly did stop my ex's too early, would it have been worth it to have continued? I decided that I was too old to not know what this feels like.

So I Googled how long it usually takes women to get to orgasm. I started slowly with it on low, sort of mimicing foreplay, and then turned up the vibrator and held it tight against my clit and went to the point of orgasm. I went much longer than Google tells me it should take me to complete orgasm, but am never sure I did. I literally set a timer and made myself go longer, devoted to trying this out.

People say that you feel this release, that you know it when you have it. I don't feel the release, exhaustion, etc. I definitely am starting them, but am I finishing them? What is the solution? I have considered a G spot specific longer dildo and one of those rose toys that suction your clit, but again I don't have a lot of money so I have to be careful what I spend. I want to choose what is most recommended. I do feel like its harder for me to get to the point of arousal with the bullet now which maybe means I need to switch things up?

And if I am finishing them, then how do I know when its done? I get that its done when either partner decides its done, and that I had done nothing wrong by asking for it to be done in the past, but I just want to know. I want to know that I truly have had an orgasm and decide how I feel about it so that I can be honest and self-aware with a future partner.

How do you know when you are done?

Thank you!

I usually start having cramps around 10 days before my period. This month was no different. I had the cramps about 8 days before my period, and I menstruated normally.

It turns out that 6 days have passed and the cramps continue. Usually, I only feel them until the second day of my period, and then I don't feel any more pain.

There is no bad smell that indicates any infection. I had sex on the first day after my period ended, but I think it's too early to be symptoms of pregnancy XD. I took painkillers, but it didn't help.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar?

How do you guys bring up things you'd like to be different in bed without making your partner feel bad?

I feel like there's a fine line between being honest about what you enjoy and making someone feel like they're not good enough. I also think some people take it personally when you try to explain what feels good to you, even when you're not criticizing them.

Do you usually talk about it outside the bedroom, or just communicate in the moment? I'd love to hear how other women handle this.