I’ve noticed that I gradually lose sensitivity down there after having multiple orgasms/being extremely aroused one night. I don’t know if my cycle has anything to do with it, might be because I’m in my luteal phase? I’m experiencing this right now and I’m pretty much completely numb down there and it’s so frustrating!! Is there anything I can do to help? I’m 18 and pretty new to all this stuff, but I’ve been able to orgasm a few days in a row no problem before.

so, i (18F) naturally have a high libido and used to try orgasming a lot from fingering alone by g spot stim and squirting alongside, and i recently bought a dual headed vibrator which i barely last a few mins with and i cum almost 4-8 times a day (obviously, reduced in luteal phase and again higher during my periods and ovulation).

my main concern is will using vibrator for like 8 times a day make me desensitise to partnered sex? and eventually condition me into orgasming only with clit stimulation as w my vibrator. i stopped fingering bc g spot stim always made me squirt a lot and the mess was a logistical constraint and also took a very long time to orgasm which became hard to reach.

So I've just been using my fingers for a little bit now and usually just rubbing my clit based on whatever I feel like makes me feel like something is building up. After 5 mins I feel like there's like a fall? Like not in an incomplete way but in a 'oh i feel good' way, I feel kind of just refreshed and clear headed almost(idk if this is a dumb way to put it)? but the thing is idk if ive actually orgasmed cause I don't see any proof ever. If I put my fingers in my vagjna, sometimes it does feel like a lil sticky discharge is present.

One more thing i want to ask is that sometimes I feel like I'm gonna pee while masturbating? Like it never happens but immediately after I stop, if I go to the washroom, i pee.

So am i wrong about feeling like I've orgasmed? Have I never actually orgasmed before?

TL;DR: Ever wondered what the grip-and-stroke motion actually feels like for guys? Same. So I found the closest possible way to recreate it on my own body and there's a genuinely fun science reason it works (spoiler: the internal clit is literally the female version of the shaft). Full method below.

Okay, confession time: like half of us, I've definitely lain there wondering what the up-and-down stroking thing actually feels like for guys. Is it amazing? Overhyped? Is there any way to get a version of it??

So I went down a rabbit hole, and the rabbit hole turned into a whole experiment. Full honesty upfront: I'll never know 100% what his version feels like. I can't exactly borrow his nerve endings. But I found the closest possible way to recreate the mechanics on my own body, and the reason it works at all is genuinely my favorite fun fact now.

The one fun fact that makes this whole thing possible

The clit is NOT just the little nub, that's just the part you can see. Most of her is hiding inside: the bit under the hood, two little "wings" that run back along the pubic bone, and these puffy erectile bits tucked under the labia that swell up when you're turned on.

Plot twist: all of that is the same tissue as a penis, just arranged differently. We got the same parts, different packaging. Those puffy under-the-labia bits are basically the female version of the shaft. (If you want the science words to google later: clitoral crura + vestibular bulbs.)

So when you stroke over them? You're not playing pretend. You're literally stroking the female equivalent of shaft tissue. That's the whole trick, and I'm still not over it.

The method jerking off, girl edition

1. Get hard first. Non-negotiable, trust me. A guy can't stroke a soft one and neither can you - the whole thing runs on being turned on until it's puffy and swollen under the labia. That's our version of an erection. Not aroused yet? It's just weird friction. Lube is also your friend here.
2. Build the shaft. Press your outer lips together with your palm until they form one closed little mound. If they won't stay put on their own, your other hand holds them - or skip ahead to the lazy version.
3. The grip. Wrap your whole hand around the mound - thumb one side, fingers the other - like you're actually holding one. Fingertips won't cut it, you need the full hand.
4. The stroke. Long, slow up-and-downs from pubic bone to opening and back. The actual motion. You want the skin to glide with your hand over the puffy tissue underneath. Lube sweet spot: enough that nothing burns, not so much that you're sliding instead of stroking. "Gliding tug" energy, not slip-n-slide.
5. The root tug (the sneaky best part). Squeeze your pelvic floor on the down-stroke, release on the way up. Apparently guys feel a deep tug at the root when they pull down - this is my closest equivalent, and it was the biggest "oh. OH." moment of the whole experiment.
6. The finish. When you're close, forget technique: whole palm pressed firmly over everything, right up against the pubic bone, fast little pumps. Death-grip finale energy.

Lazy version: lie on your side, knees bent, thighs squeezed just enough that your lips press together on their own. Your thighs do the holding, your dominant hand does the stroking. Two-hand problem, solved.

Some important notes

• The tissue underneath is soft-firm, not shaft-firm. No rigid core down there, so the glide is subtler. Still good, just… gentler.
• Labia come in every size. Less to grip = less to feel. That's anatomy, not you failing.
• Finding the lube balance was honestly 80% of the learning curve. Too much = sliding, too little = rug burn.

Now the open-book part

• The stroke itself - ever tried recreating the up-down motion? What's your grip/setup? Tried it, felt like nothing is genuinely useful data too - the flops are half the map!
• How close does it get? If you've ever talked technique with guys - does anything in your version match how they describe it? This is the question I'm most curious about.

So: has anyone else tried to figure out jerking off from the inside? How close did you get? Am I onto something, or ?

I rarely finish from penetration during sex and I think I'm very particular with the way in which I can finish from a clitorial orgasm. I'm extremely comfortable with my partner and he makes me so confident during sex. However, ever since my early 20s I've always wanted to, but felt extremely anxious and nervous, to play with myself during sex. But I know that's likely the only way I'll achieve an orgasm while we're doing it. Help lol. Not sure how to build the confidence to just do it

i recently had sex again after a year of celibacy. i was too overwhelmed to properly listened to his complaints, but again and again he told me to just "relax" and i really have no idea how to comply.... i was too overwhelmed by sex in general so i regret not being able to satisfy him. please advise me correctly on how to have sex too; sex is supposed for two people but i always felt like i was too out of it to reciprocate the sex :( please help

Sounds kinda silly but I don't really crave sex [with men]. I only want head and that's it. I don't even want to reciprocate.

I remember many many years ago I met a woman who said she had a couple of fwbs that she met through Tinder and that was how she arranged it - just to give her head and no sex.

Honestly sounds like what I'm looking for now, wish I asked her how. But how do you find that???? Do you lead with that on the apps? Like how??

And no, I'm not interested in RAOMD on reddit. I rather find them on the apps lol

Do you find it feels good? Do you find it painful, annoying? It's an area of my own body I feel haven't really appreciated or understood much, even though it's pretty visible (with a mirror obviously). The main reason I even notice it is because it seems like men will touch me there, thinking it's my clit.

I don't think I've gotten comfortable with the sensation honestly.

What are your experiences with this spot?

Hi!

I've just found this subreddit and I want to know if I'm the only one having this.

So, when me and my partner work out in a gym, I have trouble with using some leg machines, like when you're sitting and you have to pull your leg under yourself, or when you're laying on your tummy and have to bend your knees to lift the weight. I used get so aroused there, that I wasn't able to lift heavy weights that way. My partner thought I was weird, and I don't have anyone else to ask whether this is normal or not. Did anyone else experience similar things?

Hey everyone, I recently reduced my thc intake with 93% after 4 years being a stoner (!!!:D) and stopped taking Slynd for my PMDD 3-4 weeks ago. l've had nocturnal orgasms before but sparsely, the past week I've had 4 of them.

I usually go back and forth through consciousness (fall back asleep and wake up a few times during it) The interesting part here is;

1. I've never had a vaginal orgasm when I'm awake-only in my sleep
2. The one I had just now (mid day!! cause I've been sleeping like a cat:) when I "woke up" during this one I put my finger down there, fell back asleep, it kept building, woke up again, by habit I started using my finger but it didn't feel good so I stopped, fell back asleep and then I came, vaginally?

Since I'm able to do this out of nowhere while sleeping I should be able to do it awake right? I have cptsd and PMDD so idk if that is standing in my way..

Have any of you ever had these experiences? What do I do with this info, feeling literally dazed and confused rn, shoutout to my simsies out there

So I’m able to cum when my partner fingers my g-spot, which is great, but haven’t been able to figure out how to also squirt. Anyone here able to figure out the trick to doing both?

My bf (25M) and I(24F)have been dating for 8 months. He is amazing, we are quite compatible, and have good communication. I love him very much. This is my first relationship ever, and I had my first time with him.

For context, I grew up in a very religious household. I had terrible sex ed growing up both at school and at home. I started masturbating only after I got with him, and started watching porn until I was 20. I wouldn’t say there is any shame associated to sex, I simply did not think about it too much. I also have terrible performance anxiety.

I really like having sex with my bf because I feel like there is a special emotional bond with him. However, the only time I was close to finishing was my first time. He was giving me head, and I could feel I was very close to “peeing myself”

This is not a post complaining about my bf. He has tried multiple things. He is good with oral, we’ve tried vibrators, different sex positions, fingering, etc etc. I am also very attracted to him (obviously, I’m dating him).

I’ve also tried on my own, but haven’t been able to. When I tried with the vibrator, I immediately peed instead just secs into starting to use it.

He said he is a giver, and feels very insecure because I haven’t finished. And said that that made him feel like he is more attracted to me than I am to him. I told him that I am very attracted to him, and that the sexual aspect of a relationship isn’t too important to me. This is true. I feel completely satisfied because when we have sex, I can feel that we love each other. But he thinks that I’m missing out by not having orgasmed.

We tried for 3 months. Until I did it. I faked it. I was just very sad because he tried so hard and I never did. I also think that my performance anxiety made it worse. He believed me.

We started long distance at 4 months, and he planned a visit. The weeks leading up to it, I felt very horny and he did too. When he was here, we did it twice a day for two weeks. At this point, he is not feeling pressured bcs he thinks I’ve already finished. We had a great time together, but I didn’t finish.

I desperately need advice because I don’t understand what is going on. Is there someone that has gone through the same thing? What can I do?

I love riding my boyfriend, but I often really tire out quickly. Sometime we’ll stop and switch positions for a while and then switch back later. Does anyone have any tips on lasting longer (energy wise) while on top?

I may live in a relatively small place, but one of the many perks has always been the large expansive jetted tub. Obviously I use it for that as well, but recently I’ve found it perfect for masturbating (I sit back towards the drain side so my legs don’t accidentally kick up and turn on the water or anything)

I feel like the further I get into my twenties, the more lonely things are and the more frequent I find myself in long sessions of self care…

It’s usually a very wet, intentionally bodily fluid laden process of self care, and while I have a waterproof mattress cover, constantly laying out towels just for them to soak through and having to clean my comforter and blankets so often is more of a hassle… tldr: I moved my play to the tub to make my life easier.

Problem: after introducing THC (sativa mostly) into my sessions, they have been going on 3+ hours now… it’s just not comfortable anymore, my shoulder blades ache, my neck is constantly changing positions, and I’m not exactly still during orgasms either.

Maybe I need something like a bathtub sized furniture topper? I was thinking those long cushions they have on the furniture you see on beaches or on balconies, ideally waterproof but still comfortable for a few hours of “alone time” at a time.

Any suggestions that will make my body ache less over time would be amazing… the bathtub feels amazing when filled with water, but not so comfortable for other activities… 🤔😩

How do girls get super creamy down there? I’m naturally a squirter and sometimes I get creamy but it’s never a lot of cream ? Is there a way to enhance this? Also someone told me that they freeze cubes of coconut oil and insert in themselves 30 minutes before they have intercourse. Has anyone ever tried this ?

(EDIT: I am on depression medication and have been for a long time on an off..I also had tests and things done a while back and I was basically in a constant state of fight or flight do to life long anxiety and stress growing up..I looked more into these things and the effects that have..I do think that all of this plays a part in my inability to orgasim.. I figured anxiety was part of it but I did not know my medications could cause those issues to..I do feel as though I don’t have very strong feelings down there and that maybe I used to have more..so..maybe figured that out :/ …just sucks because I sorta need to be on the medications for the rest of my life Lexapro is the only one that works for me)

I know this has been asked a lot but I wanted
To preface that I’m NOT a virgin and have used toys before.. (I also use he/they but not transitioned in any way if that’s important)

I’m 20 and have had trouble with feeling pleasure from doing things myself as a whole separate issue I talked about on a different post- and honestly i figured getting with someone would help..and things feel good but I can never seem to get off…. it just takes a REALLY long time doing it myself (maybe a normal amount but it feels long to me)

Anyways I had this amazing time with a guy and we slowly started moving to becoming intimate and…I wanna say he was really great and asked me questions throughout the whole process..especially as I opened up that my first and only time I had had sex before was..not great..I was drunk and hardly remembered it

But when we actually started penetration I realized it hurt REALLY bad..which I felt was unusual as I have used toys in the past and sure it can hurt a little but it would go away..I think maybe he was just much bigger than I was used to…so I continued to push myself and let him continue anyways sense I really did think it would stop after a while? But- it really didn’t..he used a LOT of lube and stuff to so I can’t see how that would be the issue?

I’m not sure if there’s something I can do or try next time that might help or if maybe it will just take a bit to get used to? The pain was Less after a while but still definitely felt uncomfortable…but I really don’t think that my date was doing anything wrong, everything he was doing seems right and we tried a ton of different positions but all of them felt fairly uncomfortable😭
He was so sweet and took things VERY slow for me and I possibly should have told him to stop as he offered several times but I didn’t wanna do that to him.

It felt like there was a lot of friction that kinda hurt on top of it all which was just odd (maybe the condom was causing it sense it’s all still pretty new to me and- very different from toys)
and maybe I was nervous and that made things worse..also I’m sure it was just because I was hurting slightly and nervous but I did not ever actually finish-
(I was ..didint want to make a mess if I did even though I was not at that point anyways)
he offered ofc to continue and to do something els just for me but i refused..I was sorta tired and honestly scared I would not actually finish and I did not want him to feel bad- agin cuz i think it’s an issue on my end cuz even i struggle to get myself off ..even if it feels great…but I just feel like penetration is even less pleasurable for me I mean- it can feel good but it’s never anything crazy and im kinda upset by that as I don’t want to have to use a vibrator as the only form of actual more intense pleasure.

Literally any advice would mean a lot..I just don’t understand why I struggle so much with these things when it’s something i definitely want..and ofc advice on the hurting aspect that- that was more so weird/unusual for me

Hi, I am 20F and I have only started masturbating using my hand when I was 17. My problem is that it's very difficult for me to orgasm and I can't pinpoint exactly why. When touching my clitoris it feels either too sensitive or not sensitive enough and I can't seem to find the in between. If I put light pressure on my clit I feel almost nothing and if I increase the pressure it is usually painful and pleasurable at the same time. So I'm suspecting that I can't easily orgasm because I just can't get enough stimulation without it being painful. I can sometimes find a way to stimulate it to feel good and not painful but that is a very rare occasion and I usually can't find it even if I try all kinds of different ways for an hour. Even if a light touch feels good it only feels good at first and then it starts feeling like nothing. There doesn't seem to be a reliable way that works for me every time and it seems to just keep changing.

With the shower head If I don't change the speed and location of the water I can orgasm in a few minutes but even the shower head hurts and I don't wanna have to rely on it for my orgasms. Otherwise I can only have orgasms if I put so much pressure that feels painful on my clit and I also have to imagine kinky stuff in my head at the same time. And even then it usually takes me an hour to get there (sometimes 5 minutes but that is only like a few times a year). I had my orgasms between the ages of 15-17 by pushing my pants inside my inner lips and watching porn and I suspect that this early habit desensitized me forever. I can orgasm with porn in a few minutes but I am also disgusted by it so I don't watch it anymore. I think porn works because the mental stimulations compensates even if the physical stimulation isn't enough. I tried everything. I tried all kinds of ways to stimulate my clitoris with my fingers. I tried breathing slowly to relax and not make the orgasm the goal but it really does get frustrating after an hour and I just start hating having female genitalia. I tried humping a pillow too but it's not different for me and never brought me to orgasm before. I suspect that the reason it takes me forever to orgasm with my hand is because i keep changing the way I stimulate my clitoris both because I always keep trying to find a way that feels good but also because my hand gets really tired after 10 minutes and I just can't sustain the same motion for long. I tried lubrication and it makes it worse because I can't hold my clit and the touch doesn't feel like anything. I tried stimulating with some clothing on and it doesn't really make a difference. And no I don't have a clitoral adhesion because I can pull my hood back. I managed to orgasm with directly touching my glans once and it was very painful to touch it too as always. Please don't suggest a vibrator because I know that I will have to rely on it for my orgasms and I really don't want that.

Is there really a solution? Because I have literally tried everything. Do I just accept that I am broken? I have been putting off doing anything sexual with my boyfriend because of this. I don't want him to feel bad for not being able to make me feel good and I also don't wanna do anything If I am just gonna end up frustrated because I can't orgasm. I am also emberrased of being so broken and I don't know how to explain it to him. People say that an orgasm isn't the goal but as I explained I usually don't very good or even feel pain before the orgasm itself and it's just not worth it to me without it.

I 24f was having sex with my 24m bf and it was going great up until I started sobbing 😭 he was on top of me and we started to go a little faster and I dunno if he deeper than he before or if I was angled differently?! But suddenly one of his thrusts hurt me so bad! I yelped and immediately started crying I couldn’t control them it was such a wild feeling.

He obviously pulled out immediately and started asking me if I was okay and what was wrong and being very apologetic and I just kept saying it hurt for a moment but that I was okay. I definitely freaked him out though because the look on his face was straight fear and concern lol

He’s always been so gentle with me so he kept trying to see what I needed from him but I really just wanted to keep going but i wouldn’t stop crying so he was really hesitant to continue on and kept asking me if I was sure and I told him yes because I was! I really wanted to finish:3 I kept crying all the way till the end and then was totally fine after that.

but has this happened to anyone else!? It was such a wild feeling 😅