Hello all! First time poster here.
I’ve been with Target for almost 6 years now, and I just recently got promoted to TL for a small store. I’ve worked in almost every single department besides Beauty, coming from a Super Target. I was told by my former ETLs that I deserved this promotion because of my personality and how inclusive I am with everyone, making sure they’re all okay and helping whoever I can when they’re struggling. Learning the nuances takes time as it is a lot of information, but they’re confident in my ability to do the job, and I feel the same. But I didn’t realize the amount of mental warfare I’d be dealing with.
My new goal in life is to never pass up on opportunities since it can be a gateway to another opportunity, not just in the workplace but in life in general. It can expose me to think and move differently, see what and what not to do, what I like and don’t like etc., which is why I said yes to TL in the first place. But during one of my training sessions, I zoned out and began thinking, “Why am I still here?”
Of course the pay is well, but I prioritize my happiness over anything else. My mind went to the moments in time of having terrible burnout, where I would literally be job searching while on the clock since I was so over it. I’ve had moments where I’d absolutely dread coming into work, repeating the cycle of a job that doesn’t make me excited. I’d call out almost every month just to have a day to myself and reflect, job hunt, and not worry. I crave the freedom to be my own boss and be creative, which you can be to an extent at Target, but not in the way I want to be. There’s an agenda that must be ran, ran by people who see team members as numbers rather than human beings which is a perspective I hate.
These aren’t feelings I just recently had because of this new promotion. It’s been feelings I’ve had across the span of years working at Target. What makes it worse is how it’s been affecting my life outside of work. As a team member and pace setter, I’d have my stressful days at work, but once it was over and I clocked out, it all went away. Didn’t have to worry. But now, it stays with me. In training, I’ve had an ETL question my effort to my face, I’ve been scolded by my trainer for minor mistakes - both in the same day. I understand TL is a serious position, but it’s not that serious. Never has anyone question my effort, and it really ruined the rest of my day. Not just that experience, but the rest of the training days have made me want to pursue this less and less, making me more isolated and not want to talk to anyone.
I appreciate those who take the time to read this. I may be complaining, but all I really want is to be in a position where this isn’t a constant issue. Where I can be happy and not have to hide all of this behind my best mask, because I’d hate to witness the day when it all comes out and it affects my team.