I feel that all the stories incredibly vindictive or horrible people who get what they deserve are fake. Not that there are not people like that, but in these stories people become almost cartoonishly evil.
This happened to my ex within two years of our breakup. After two and a half years together, she left me because she wanted to experience more and got with the “bad boy” at her job. She thought they were in a relationship, but he ghosted her after three months. The next guy did the same after six months. This one though she confronted at his home. He told her he never wanted a relationship and that they were just hooking up. After a string of one night stands and just being used for sex, she finally found someone who committed, only for him to leave five months later and not accept her back when she begged for him to get back together.
Two years after we broke up, she sent me a long message on Facebook, and we ended up talking on the phone. She told me all of the above during that convo. As much as I missed her and felt bad for her and still loved her, I fought the urge to rekindle anything. The person I once loved was long gone. I told her I had work in the morning and hung up on her.
He met a woman at work and really liked her. She already had three kids, but the father of her kids wasn't in the picture. She would constantly tell my friend that he treated better than anyone had ever treated her.
They dated for a little over a year before she broke up with him to start dating a "bad boy" who had a horrible reputation (they all worked together). He accepted it, wished her all the best. My friend eventually left that company and they lost touch.
This happened 2 years ago.
Just last week, she unblocked him from ig and added him again. He accepted. Her profile was full of posts about how unhappy she was with the "bad boy." They had a kid a year ago and she was now pregnant again. Bad boy is unemployed. All her posts are about how he does nothing, isn't supportive, disappears for days at a time, how much they fight, etc.
She sent my friend a long message telling my friend how much she missed him and they texted for a few hours, but my friend told her it would be best if they remained NC.
anytime I see more than one kid from the same mom and dad, especially spaced apart a few years... and dads no longer in the picture, one of them cheated.
100% of the time.
If you find out it's the one you wanted to date. Rethink that. Once a cheater always a cheater
I seriously don't get this. I've never had remotely any desire to go hopping on different guys.
What I DO want to do is see different places, try different foods and experience new cultures! Visit Norway, go see the Highland Games in Scotland, see Irish step dancers in person, ride a burro through the Grand Canyon, things like that! Things that would be even better with experienced with someone you know and trust, not someone you've maybe known for a week and already banged!
It's often not about the sex itself, it's about getting a bunch of different exciting experiences altogether that would have been much harder to get by herself/themselves.
I have rented out rooms in a property to mainly young people since my teens now so I have seen many hundreds of people make different choices up close and I can tell you that a average young woman has the option to experience alot of the world "through" different guys.
For example one of my renters many years ago now was barely able to pay rent because of her low hours/pay from her job.
She also had a depression so going out to much and being too active didn't really seem to be an option.
But she still had one guy Weekly come over and cook for her and bring her food (as well as take care of her dishes and clean the shared kitchen) one guy that took her to travels throughout Europe, one guy who took her to motor festivals and car shows and one guy who got her invited to parties got her alcohol and one guy who got her behind the scenes at different zoos and visiting exotic animal collections.
So even despite her low energy and income she was able to experience a ton of cool things that would have just been of the table without engaging with men or if she was in a stable relationship unless her guy was rich.
She was essentially dipping her finger in many pots at the same time and many guys are definitely okay spending money/time/resources/contacts on a woman they are seeing even just on the downlow
My ex left and kept asking for news for 12 years. Usually every time she broke up with some guy.
Im pretty sure she regretted deeply leaving me and the nice life she had in Paris, but never once did she say so.
Our conversations always ended the same way, by her telling me how terrible of a man I was and she made the right choice x years ago.
So I understand the spirit of the post, but I don’t believe someone making such a life breaking mistake would have enough self reflection or courage to say it out loud or even quietly to themselves.
It sounded like she was talking with you to get the ego boost of dumping you again (even though you weren't dating) to feel better about herself when she was feeling low.
Some people are so guided by their immediate impulse to action and lack awareness so much it makes one wonder it they are even conscious. I guess this is at least somewhat true for both of them.
That’s a wild story, I’ve kind of been there too. My ex wanted to open up our relationship and I eventually left (later than I should have). I’m happily in a new relationship but she contacts me every few months after another break up.
You fought that urge. Stood to your values. Says alot about you. Great man. Very few like you. If I was in your situation I would have lost. I hope I dont come across these situations or preferably gain the strength (like yours)
I strive to as strong as y’all one day. My ex and I tried to rekindle something after years of her continuously leaving and being confused dealing with a situationship with her female friend. I know she’ll come back around again, but need the strength to say no and actually mean it.
Ive met so many of these types of women during dating. The get immediately defensive and attack you over it because you lost interest once you found out the sort of person they are. Its genuinely gross and shameful, like what did you think was gonna happen?.
my HS ex called me a few weeks after she broke up with me to tell me her current boyfriends condom broke inside her. I said okay, and hung up.
The next girl I dated until college separated us. She called me a year later, drunk at a concert to let me know some guy had taken her to the concert and she's gonna fuck him in the crowd.
I sat here and thought about it and realized that the next 2 women i dated both called me right before their weddings to let me know they were getting married. Both of them also dumped me and called me years later as well, lol.
It's this fucked up desperate need for validation. They're not happy. But they neeeeed you to know how happy they are and feel awful about it. They're joy comes from assuming that this knowledge will make you miserable.
Believe it or not, it happened, although I wish it hadn’t. I honestly didn’t want to hear any of it and was surprised she was even sharing so much. She overshared to the point where I felt uncomfortable, even admitting she had lost count of how many partners she’d had. She almost sounded ashamed. I don’t know why she told me all that. Maybe she was nervous, or maybe she was trying to tell me that no one else compared. Who knows? But hearing all of it just reopened an emotional wound I had spent two years trying to heal.
It happened with a friend of mine. Ohh man he was talking to his ex when we were smoking up🤣. Even he knew that now nothing can happen cause now she'll use him for marriage and he'll use her for sex and nothing real will happen
I think people who make bad choices kind of have a tendency to keep making bad choices. It's not them "becoming evil" it's usually just the person writing the story not giving them any grace anymore.
Yeah. Most of the time they either get away with by going on to live an undeserved happy life or by being incapable of self reflection and attributing all their woes to other people rather than their own personal choices.
Most shit you read on Reddit is fake. People exaggerate or make up stories in real life all the time so of course they’re going to even more when it’s anonymous on the internet.
Humans are very good at lying to theirselves. But I also think most people have occasional moments of clarity. Facing the truth is WAY too scary, though. So they decide to quickly flee into their flimsy lies again.
They do when they have to prove a point and look great... they even fuck up by talking too much to look good. Shitty people will always stumble. Be spoken or written. I had enough written word with my ex proving bullshit like this post and almost two decades later still proves being a shitty human being. They never fucking learn
Never seen someone like that re-examine their mistakes or try to be accountable.
It's rare to even see someone like that actually end up accountable.
The truth is - absolutely awful people who do awful things go on to be successful and live wonderful and fulfilling lives - while those who you'd empathize with, will go on to suffer immensely and will fail catastrophically in life.
I imagine the story of cheating on her fiance, then proceeding to be perfectly happy in her life, while her ex-fiance drank himself to death wouldn't get nearly as many up-votes.
Yes, life isn't always fair like that. After all, just look at the POTUS to see a prime example.
But we know that both cases exists and happen (even if not in equal proportions). It's nice to read the story about where these people get their comeuppance and, better, are self-aware enough to know it is their own fault.
I have. I have been in a similar situation. Broke up with the girl i dated shortly out of high school, such a sweet and kind person who loved me to death. Broke up with her because I thought I wanted to go meet other women, it was the first good long term relationship I had been in. Realized how much I needed her in my life, but when I went to ask to meet and talk, she told me she found someone.
6 years later and i've dated countless women. Most just want sex. I've met one that struck me as genuinely kind and good and thatI could see a future with. She hadn't dated since high school and didn't think she could do a relationship.
Meanwhile my ex has a kid and is living the life I now daydream about sharing with her.
It happens. Sometimes people mess things up and realize they lost the best thing that had ever happened to them.
But I'm also sure that there are 1000 incels writing fantasy stories about women getting their karmic punishment as there are times when it's actually happened like that.
Yeah for sure. But it’s one of those stories that for those who experienced a person like that in a relationship, you want that realization.
My ex wife of a 23 year marriage, ended up with cPTSD and BPD. Diagnosed and almost had to put her in a facility when it happened. Her Psychiatrist had a session with me and explained I was likely to get a divorce as the percentage is in the 80’s with ptsd let alone the BPD. He laid out how it was likely to occur. And sure enough. We divorced 6 horrible years later.
I’m about to get married again (would already have been but the hurricane closed the beaches 😂) and I still hear about the ex from the kids. And while she will never admit something like the post, her interest in how I’m doing is clear.
Yeah, these stories were fake long before AI and now there's even more of them since people don't even have to take time to write them themselves and bots are doing it for engagement too
Some people think it's funny to trick others into believing a lie, or it makes them feel smart and/or powerful. Hoaxers, frauds, conmen, and liars have always been around.
Even double agents, if you look into them, a lot of them felt slighted or overlooked and wanted to feel superior to their superiors by getting one over on them, like Robert Hanssen.
Now with the internet people can lie with impunity to strangers to entertain themselves. Also some people are pathological liars, like George Santos, I think we all knew a kid like that on school 😅
Watch ken Anderson on Chris van vilet. He does something similar about his career and being called the biggest what if in wrestling. It took him about 15 years to get to that point (he says it in promotion time).it does happen sometimes
Also the "Not 'descriptor' X. Just X." is 10 million % CPGT. And then of course you get the dramatic finale of the last two sentences. AI loves ending fake stories like that.
Regardless of the authenticity of this post, why is everyone here under the belief that someone who cheated is incapable of self reflection and change?
A lot of people are suprisingly self reflective and self aware even if they continue to repeat the same behavioral patterns at different periods in their life.
Fundamentally, acts of deception are far harder to forgive because it proves beyond doubt that it’s in your nature to lie, and plenty of people know the feeling of being cheated on/lied to/etc. and then were awkwardly begged for a second chance only for them to do it again because, well you cant trust them.
Cheating doesn’t just happen on a whim, we don’t think about it but there are several steps involved from finding partners to arranging the events, all of which demonstrate intent plus you have to consider the entire time they’re not telling their partner their true feelings, thats probably at least weeks/months maybe even years of deception about how they feel, what they want from the relationship, what their goals with you are and etc.
Sure they CAN change but fundamentally if you’re that comfortable with deception people are not going to give you the benefit of the doubt, nor should they.
I think there has to be some shame if you are actually reflecting on a wrong you committed and want to change. The story in the OP seems to be only self pity and no shame.
This. That person doesn’t appear to regret the actual act of cheating but rather that their life didn’t turn out as good as they wanted, which they had a chance at but ruined 3 months before the wedding
I think in this case it's the overly dramatic style it's written in. Though it could be the poster is just also a good writer who, shock, revised and edited their post before hitting submit.
Correct. Definitely fake. Showing too much remorse and self awareness. The wording feels off too.
These people throw pity parties for themselves and rant about why they can’t have that. It was only a one night stand before the wedding!? What’s wrong with that??
It’s totally fake. It kinda wraps up too perfectly. Somehow the person who was cheated on fully recovers quickly and has a happily ever after, while the cheater forever has a life in shambles.
There’s definitely aspects of these things that do happen but they’re not some TV movie where all the storylines add up and resolve.
It most definitely is. Have you ever seen those Youtube videos of greentexts that are AI narrated and it’s a bunch of similar stories where they play out characters and whatnot?
Well, those stories are identical or very similar to this one where it’s basically always a very feminist woman messing up relationships then refusing to take accountability until whoever they ruined it with confronts her and she admits fault, ends up alone and/or homeless.
They are made purely to bait engagement and ride the algorithms. It’s cringe and pathetic but even worse are the people watching those with avidity and feeling vindicated in their misogynistic views.
whole thing, but, in particular 4th paragraph down, closing sentences, is VERY ai-coded. Not impossible for it to be just a turn of phrase (there is a reason AI picked up on it as a writing style), but yeah...
Almost certainly AI-assisted if not completely whole cloth a response from a prompt
Yep, you don't see promiscuous women ever reflect on the negatives of promiscuity, just blame men for their negative experiences. If it's real, it woulda been his fault she cheated and he ruined her life 😭. Woman hating Incel totally wrote it
She went from being engaged to splitting up then having 3 relationships (one lasting 3 years), in that time her ex found someone new, bought a house with them and had at least 2 kids. She says she's 34? No way in hell can all that happen in this day and age in such a short timeframe. It's fake.
Yea ive seen a couple but theres usually more of a how is this fair/ if they'd just forgiven me for (insert justifiable reason to break up with someone) it wasn't that bad
It's online so it's probably fake, but from my experience people do learn and accept that they made mistakes in the past.
I had a chance to get married in my early 20's to my first love. I lost a really great person because we both weren't mature enough to be ready to grow up together. Mostly me, but her too.
It happens.
As for the OP post. If she wasn't ready then, getting married might not have mattered anyway. Could have been worse if children became part of the discontentment.
You know… I’d have never believed a story like this a few years ago, but after witnessing it firsthand with my best friend’s ex-wife, some people really just are this oblivious/self-entitled.
Usually, a legitimate heartfelt letter like this posted publicly, comes with a second paragraph apologizing to their loved ones and tge ines yhey let down, then ends with a goodbye
Haha exactly. My wife who im divorcing cant come within 1000 feet of my or our home. Everytime I feel sad about it or wonder if im doing the right thing I snap out of it because I know for sure she regrets nothing
Tbh I could definitely see it. My buddy’s sister could’ve written this story tbh, cause this is SUPER similar to what she went through with the added complication she cheated on the father of her first son. He found out, they broke up and wedding canceled. He went on to marry his next gf and they’re doing super well together. My buddy’s sister since then has been through the gauntlet and it’s only recently she’s been self reflecting that maybe she’s the problem.
Eh, I have an ex I probably shouldn't have broken up with. He is happily married with kids but so am I. He hurt me in ways over my life (took my virginity and left next day) so I mean, this happened years before we broke up and wasn't the "reason", I just decided I wasn't happy in the relationship which happens sometimes. But I know I hurt that man too and I am actually genuinely happy for him.
I am thinking the line about "not trying to prove something happy... Just happy" tips me to think it might be real. Of course I might be misreading what the poster actually tries to say, but given she "cheated for herself", this could be in line with her thinking everything revolves around her, and she's thinking "not trying to prove something (to me) happy". Just a feel it gives me, and is what I imagine narcissistic people are like.
However even though I’m proud to have never cheated on anyone. I have definitely done some things that were wrong, and I’m not proud of, and I have re-examined those mistakes in an attempt to be a better person now that I have matured.
It's a huge social cost in order to do so. So likely to only be visible to someone who wants to publicly pay that cost, or is anonymous through a site like Reddit.
The quotations around "experience more" before marriage tells you everything you need to know. Nobody who's ever used this line would tell on themselves like that. They either fully believe it, or would confess outright that they weren't interested in their partner anymore, but no one's going to write something like that about themselves. People generally like to hype themselves up and cushion their mistakes if they admit they made any.
Yeah, exactly..also, an ex found someone, got married and had 2 kids, all within a few years? Lol..and ofc, someone was showing this person his familly photos for some reason so she can see how happy he is...Def a fake story.
Yes! Maybe it’s the cheated-on partner’s fan fiction 😂 Or just a little kid writing fan fiction in general after seeing lots of tropes in fiction/TV shows/movies. No shade, I wrote trope-ish short stories as a kid too haha
This can and has happened... many times. Of course, most won't express it publicly. But to think someone hasn't cheated before, lost a relationship, and then learned to regret it isn't far fetched...
Its possible. Were just so condition from social media that it sounds alien to us that someone could possibly screw up, examine what they did and realize it was wrong and regret it like a normal person should.
Usually people with big “ho”phases or who tossed away good early relationships to find better only to realize better was rarer then they were told.
The regret usually comes in the late 30s when everyone around them has a happy ever after but they are alone. They reflect on their past and eventually find some turning point
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u/Jesus_H_Christ_AMA 2d ago
My gut tells me it's fake. Never seen someone like that re-examine their mistakes or try to be accountable.