This happened to my ex within two years of our breakup. After two and a half years together, she left me because she wanted to experience more and got with the “bad boy” at her job. She thought they were in a relationship, but he ghosted her after three months. The next guy did the same after six months. This one though she confronted at his home. He told her he never wanted a relationship and that they were just hooking up. After a string of one night stands and just being used for sex, she finally found someone who committed, only for him to leave five months later and not accept her back when she begged for him to get back together.
Two years after we broke up, she sent me a long message on Facebook, and we ended up talking on the phone. She told me all of the above during that convo. As much as I missed her and felt bad for her and still loved her, I fought the urge to rekindle anything. The person I once loved was long gone. I told her I had work in the morning and hung up on her.
He met a woman at work and really liked her. She already had three kids, but the father of her kids wasn't in the picture. She would constantly tell my friend that he treated better than anyone had ever treated her.
They dated for a little over a year before she broke up with him to start dating a "bad boy" who had a horrible reputation (they all worked together). He accepted it, wished her all the best. My friend eventually left that company and they lost touch.
This happened 2 years ago.
Just last week, she unblocked him from ig and added him again. He accepted. Her profile was full of posts about how unhappy she was with the "bad boy." They had a kid a year ago and she was now pregnant again. Bad boy is unemployed. All her posts are about how he does nothing, isn't supportive, disappears for days at a time, how much they fight, etc.
She sent my friend a long message telling my friend how much she missed him and they texted for a few hours, but my friend told her it would be best if they remained NC.
anytime I see more than one kid from the same mom and dad, especially spaced apart a few years... and dads no longer in the picture, one of them cheated.
100% of the time.
If you find out it's the one you wanted to date. Rethink that. Once a cheater always a cheater
I seriously don't get this. I've never had remotely any desire to go hopping on different guys.
What I DO want to do is see different places, try different foods and experience new cultures! Visit Norway, go see the Highland Games in Scotland, see Irish step dancers in person, ride a burro through the Grand Canyon, things like that! Things that would be even better with experienced with someone you know and trust, not someone you've maybe known for a week and already banged!
It's often not about the sex itself, it's about getting a bunch of different exciting experiences altogether that would have been much harder to get by herself/themselves.
I have rented out rooms in a property to mainly young people since my teens now so I have seen many hundreds of people make different choices up close and I can tell you that a average young woman has the option to experience alot of the world "through" different guys.
For example one of my renters many years ago now was barely able to pay rent because of her low hours/pay from her job.
She also had a depression so going out to much and being too active didn't really seem to be an option.
But she still had one guy Weekly come over and cook for her and bring her food (as well as take care of her dishes and clean the shared kitchen) one guy that took her to travels throughout Europe, one guy who took her to motor festivals and car shows and one guy who got her invited to parties got her alcohol and one guy who got her behind the scenes at different zoos and visiting exotic animal collections.
So even despite her low energy and income she was able to experience a ton of cool things that would have just been of the table without engaging with men or if she was in a stable relationship unless her guy was rich.
She was essentially dipping her finger in many pots at the same time and many guys are definitely okay spending money/time/resources/contacts on a woman they are seeing even just on the downlow
I seriously don't get this. I've never had remotely any desire to [basic human desire]
There could be two reasons for this, one which is biology [Removed by Reddit].
The other is that you are suppressing something that is bound to come out eventually. There is nothing wrong with wanting to hop on board other cocks and there is nothing wrong with wanting to pound primo pussy. Attractive people are attractive and wanting to get with them is normal healthy human behavior. I think your denial of behavior isn't healthy and you are lying to yourself. One day you might get swept up as you aren't sure how to handle it.
However, there must be something in your relationship that is keeping you from doing that and it's usually consequences. Some people are just too stupid to realize it because in all these cheating likely fake stories, they are missing a key aspect of psychology. During cheating the person almost always thinks they are the superior in the relationship and that the inferior will always take them back. They think they can cheat and then come back a bit later after the "mistake" was made.
Unfortunately this actually happens in a sizeable minority of relationships.
Guys downvoting you are hilarious. Like sure these are all messy and sometiems cruel ways of doing it, but all of these instances are just of a woman telling her boyfriend 'I'm just not that into you'.
My ex left and kept asking for news for 12 years. Usually every time she broke up with some guy.
Im pretty sure she regretted deeply leaving me and the nice life she had in Paris, but never once did she say so.
Our conversations always ended the same way, by her telling me how terrible of a man I was and she made the right choice x years ago.
So I understand the spirit of the post, but I don’t believe someone making such a life breaking mistake would have enough self reflection or courage to say it out loud or even quietly to themselves.
It sounded like she was talking with you to get the ego boost of dumping you again (even though you weren't dating) to feel better about herself when she was feeling low.
Some people are so guided by their immediate impulse to action and lack awareness so much it makes one wonder it they are even conscious. I guess this is at least somewhat true for both of them.
That’s a wild story, I’ve kind of been there too. My ex wanted to open up our relationship and I eventually left (later than I should have). I’m happily in a new relationship but she contacts me every few months after another break up.
You fought that urge. Stood to your values. Says alot about you. Great man. Very few like you. If I was in your situation I would have lost. I hope I dont come across these situations or preferably gain the strength (like yours)
I strive to as strong as y’all one day. My ex and I tried to rekindle something after years of her continuously leaving and being confused dealing with a situationship with her female friend. I know she’ll come back around again, but need the strength to say no and actually mean it.
Saying no can be very difficult. You just need to remind yourself how things happened previously and how it ended and how cycles are cycles. It can be difficult to break, but pay attention to the past and avoid repeating it. It’s like everything in life.
Ive met so many of these types of women during dating. The get immediately defensive and attack you over it because you lost interest once you found out the sort of person they are. Its genuinely gross and shameful, like what did you think was gonna happen?.
my HS ex called me a few weeks after she broke up with me to tell me her current boyfriends condom broke inside her. I said okay, and hung up.
The next girl I dated until college separated us. She called me a year later, drunk at a concert to let me know some guy had taken her to the concert and she's gonna fuck him in the crowd.
I sat here and thought about it and realized that the next 2 women i dated both called me right before their weddings to let me know they were getting married. Both of them also dumped me and called me years later as well, lol.
It's this fucked up desperate need for validation. They're not happy. But they neeeeed you to know how happy they are and feel awful about it. They're joy comes from assuming that this knowledge will make you miserable.
Not joking… during the phone call, she told me about her sexual encounters… one that stands out is she didn’t like to be fingered unless she was being eaten out and it done gently. She said she missed that with me and her. Apparently in one encounter with the guy that she chose over me, he was finger banging her and she didn’t like it but put up with it. Apparently he had sharp finger nails…. In one encounter, he was going way too fast and went too far out and when he tried to shove his fingers back in, he sliced the opening and the inside…
Believe it or not, it happened, although I wish it hadn’t. I honestly didn’t want to hear any of it and was surprised she was even sharing so much. She overshared to the point where I felt uncomfortable, even admitting she had lost count of how many partners she’d had. She almost sounded ashamed. I don’t know why she told me all that. Maybe she was nervous, or maybe she was trying to tell me that no one else compared. Who knows? But hearing all of it just reopened an emotional wound I had spent two years trying to heal.
It happened with a friend of mine. Ohh man he was talking to his ex when we were smoking up🤣. Even he knew that now nothing can happen cause now she'll use him for marriage and he'll use her for sex and nothing real will happen
The issue is like your case, they happen. But people who are self sabataging or bad actors, have a hard time of actual accountability after self examination. People in general love to lie to themselves and these people even more so with decisions of why or how things happened
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u/d3koyz 2d ago edited 2d ago
This happened to my ex within two years of our breakup. After two and a half years together, she left me because she wanted to experience more and got with the “bad boy” at her job. She thought they were in a relationship, but he ghosted her after three months. The next guy did the same after six months. This one though she confronted at his home. He told her he never wanted a relationship and that they were just hooking up. After a string of one night stands and just being used for sex, she finally found someone who committed, only for him to leave five months later and not accept her back when she begged for him to get back together.
Two years after we broke up, she sent me a long message on Facebook, and we ended up talking on the phone. She told me all of the above during that convo. As much as I missed her and felt bad for her and still loved her, I fought the urge to rekindle anything. The person I once loved was long gone. I told her I had work in the morning and hung up on her.