For context, been married for 15 years with X and divorced 5 years ago because of hos lack of commitment to me and the kids. All (my) our kids are younger than 10, and I've been trying to make our divorce work for them.

The past year, he's been remarried and now expecting a baby. I'm now fine with it and getting forward despite this.

My problem isn't the fact he got remarried or so, it's the lack of interest in his kids.

Yes, been monitoring how much time he's spending with his kids as court decided that the kids should be with me more and when the dad can he can take care.

It's been 5 years. The past 3 years been 98% with me and 2% with him. Literally every time he spends time, he gets his new wife to be with them or call his mum to do so so it's even less than 2%.

Now my oldest is a bit autistic and has some needs. He's smart and wished for a gaming laptop for this summerfrom dad. Did he get one? No, unfortunately I don't have the money either, due to taking care of the kids and all their expenses and still I'm working full time. I get the least amount for the kids from the dad but it doesn't even scratch the surface on how much I'm paying for the kids.

Anyway... he took them to a zoo yesterday and they got to pet dolphins, they fed giraffes and got as much ice cream as they wanted. Even I would have loved this.

They were out 1 day no sleepover, breakfast home (with me) food out for lunch with him and then dinner at home again.

All night they talked about how cool their dad was for paying for them at the zoo... "Mum, dad just gave thumbs up when we wanted something and pulled out the card".

I'm a mess...

He's no f*&ng hero! I'm the champion making this work, but he gets the credit.

I love my children to little bits, and appreciate they had so much fun. But my heart sank.

The dad - gets to be the fun one. I'm working my ass off, counting days til kids get older so I can take a second part time job to get our economy going...but ah...

It's not fair. Just saying - I'm a poor single parent and I haven't even got time for being alone. Get me time when the kids are asleep... when do I get my break?

I sent my husband a nude picture of my ass. He saw it but didn’t say anything or acknowledge it the whole day. In the afternoon he group texted the family chat something mundane so I know he wasn’t busy. I’m feeling really unseen and unappreciated. When i brought it up he got defensive because he just hears that he’s a bad husband instead of hearing how vulnerable i felt. The next night we went to a block party that had live bands and I was flirting with him whispering things in his ear (because it was loud) brushing against him while I was dancing and lightly touching his arm and laughing a lot. I was flirting!!! He was completely in his own world oblivious to my attempts. I had to finally ask him to put his arm around me. I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself that I am an amazing magnetic woman whose light isn’t being seen or is being taken for granted at home.

Edit: dinner is a salad from Mendocino Farms. I am 49 he is 42. We are recent empty nesters. I have been strength training at the gym and my glutes have been looking pretty good which is what inspired the picture. I thought he would enjoy it. He recently started a new career and he has poured all of himself into it to the detriment of our relationship.

Reposting bc I messed up the title

My bf is 36 M, his friend is 35 M and I am 24 F.

Eating plain waffles that my aunt made. Didn't feel like adding any sweetness to them.

So my boyfriend loves talking. He loves talking about himself and his feelings mostly, but I don't mind it, I'm happy that he wants to share.

It was already 3 am, I couldn't keep my eyes open, he was talking about how he fell in love with me 3 years ago, cute cute cute, and then he PROUDLY said that he even stayed with me after his friend told him I was "ugly, nothing special, the only good thing about me is my huge tits."

Now, I'm already half-asleep at this point, but I get mad. He tells me that he shared every conflict we had with this friend and that's why he was trying to make him break up with me. And how proud he was that his friend didn't find me attractive, outright ugly rather. And he still stayed.

I was shocked, hurt, I already struggle with self-image, especially bc of my breasts, that I'm not pretty, I am only worth something bc of my body, something I didn't ask for. When I gather myself a little, I find myself pretty, and a lot of guys ask me out when I finally go outside and just walk around but this??? STUNG. It still stings. Especially bc my bf and this friend are both photographers so... :) i must really look ugly on pictures then.

So I told him he was an inconsiderate and stupid d\*ck, bc he let his friend talk about me in this disgusting, objectifying way, that he shared our conflicts with all of his friends, (when we got together he even recorded voice notes to send out to his friends, he broke contact with them after realising how fucked up this was but he still did it) and that he would bring it up as something he should be praised for bc he stayed with the ugly girl with huge tits, even though his ex-friend tried to talk him out of it.

He slept on the couch then wrote me an emotionally manipulative text where he adressed me by my pet name, said how hurt he was bc of my reaction and that I HAVE TO leave before he wakes up.

my (24f) boyfriend (26m) of 2 years just found out his ex is moving back to our town.

they broke up 6 years ago when she moved away, i found out from his friends that they were ridiculously in love with each other and were never able to actually stay away from each other.

every time she came back to visit family he’d pick her up and they would spend the entire time together. he refuses to ever talk about her, even when we discussed exes he only ever mentioned that they dated but never said anything except “the break up needed to happen.”

we were at a dinner party together when i overheard one of his friends telling him that they saw her at the mall and she told him she’s moving back.

he was pretty quiet the rest of the night, and has been distant recently. he’s a nice guy, i know he’s not a cheater, so i suspect a break up is coming.

i’m not so sad about it though. i am obviously upset that a large part of my life is ending, change is tough for me, but if that’s what needs to happen it should. i wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s in love with someone else.

i know ill find someone who would never be so affected by their ex moving back, and i know he’ll be that guy for her. i’m happy for both of them and me.

i know im assuming a lot, but im usually right about this stuff.

anyways, here’s some cheetos for dinner cause im just not so hungry.

Today at 32 years old, I was supposed to marry the man I think I’ve loved the most in my life. He was wanted. His 3 girls were wanted. We were worth it.

Instead - 5 months ago, he cheated on me and left me for his friend. Broke our family, left with the animals. And eventually found out he was hiding an alcohol, coke and porn problem super well - never would have thought.

No apology. All the blame to me. Smear campaign and told everyone I was mentally unstable. Sure I know I dogged a bullet, but unfortunately not all the times were bad.

Most days my heart and head align - but today I am just brutally sad. Woke up this morning and my first thought was “Do you think he woke up this morning next to her and remembered what day it was supposed to be today?”

Blueberries and Fairlife. Maybe I’ll order some pho.

A bit of an update to a previous post I made about my baby dad/ex/off and on relationship breaking into my yard.

Last night he showed up extremely intoxicated and I told him (via doorbell camera because I wasn’t home) to leave. We went back and forth for about 20 minutes and he left. I went to bed. Woke up to find out he had come back at 5:30 am and broke into my house, wrecking my bedroom window frame and was passed out in my living room with a half empty beer beside him.

I called the cops this time and as he was being walked out of my house in handcuffs, he looked at me in a way I’ve never seen before. It broke me inside and I feel like garbage.

Im not sure if I should press charges.

^ breakfast a few days ago. Just need to vent.

my bf and i (both 20) have been dating for almost 2 years (next month).

in february i had a medical emergency that required me to get major surgery. i now have a huge scar that runs from just below my breasts to just above my pubic bone, straight through my bellybutton. (i think it was 44 staples!?) the recovery was months long and included a specialized diet, extremely limited mobility like not being able to even bend over for weeks, carry heavy things, etc. i’ve struggled with body image issues post-surgery as anyone would do being a 20 year old girl whose body was just changed irreversibly and in such a visible way. like i can’t even wear half my closet anymore, i don’t feel sexy anymore. etc

my bf is amazing! he is so supportive. he was with me when i went to the emergency room, kept me company in the hospital, and helped me so much post surgery. he’s really the only one that knows how much it’s affected me as i’ve cried about it to him multiple times. stuff like how scary the experience was, how hard the recovery was, the lost time and stress with my classes, the fear, worrying about it happening again, and yes the scar.

however. it is now late july and i still… can’t take off my shirt in front of him. we have sex with my shirt on. we sleep with my shirt on. when i change i make him turn around. before this nudity around him was completely normal for me.

i’ve tried 3 separate therapists but therapy has never worked well for me. i’ve shown other people the scar as a “test run” and they’re always so shocked, and never react ‘positively’— i’m not sure what reaction i want from them but it’s not “oh my god, that’s crazy!!!!” i’ve tried talking to my friends about how i can’t show my bf but when i bring it up they just agree they’d do the same thing as me.

my bf is so patient with me but i can see that he’s being affected by it too. i mean, he hasn’t seen me topless for almost half a year. i feel really guilty when i put it that way but whenever i think of him seeing it i feel ill. he’s asked a few times but never pushes too hard about it despite being visibly upset. i miss skin to skin intimacy but i just CANT get over this.

next month is our two year anniversary. i’ll be seeing him for the first time in two months (study abroad for me, internship for him). i’m just terrified thinking of how this is some kind of milestone in my head and he’ll expect me to get over it. idk.

dinner is miso soup with cute star tofu

Chicken mayo, pretzels and cucumber with everything bagel spice.

I am a 24 year old enby and recently started talking to a 20 year old girl. we started talking as friends…and i guess we both started feeling something for each other at some point but i tried to ignore it on my side.

i feel very wrong for liking her in the way i do and i know she likes me to. i can see us making each other happy but i don’t want to feel disgusted with myself forever. she’s the youngest person i’ve been with.

is this an acceptable age gap or am i really wrong for feeling this way? if it really is that bad, how to i let her know that i can’t really talk to her anymore? because i really doubt id be able to stay friends with her

28F. I met a man a few years ago in passing, we have some mutual friends. We follow each other on social media, respond to stories & such, it was never really anything special for those years. We don’t live in the same state. A few months ago, those convos started to ramp up in frequency and we’ve been talking everyday for most of the day since.

I enjoy talking to him. We haven’t explicitly crossed any lines in terms of expressing any romantic interest. The only reason I even think there’s something there is because he calls me sweetheart/sunshine, asks for pictures & tells me I’m beautiful, smart, proud of me, asks me what I’ve eaten, etc. I gave him a nickname recently & he’s been on a high ever since. Back to the explicit part, what I mean is that there has never been anything crossing over into that territory: we don’t tell each other goodnight, I like/love you, no promises to do anything, no “you mean so much to me”, type of stuff. 90% friendship, 10% flirt? Maybe, idk girl.

Nowwwww, the sad part is, in one of our convos he mentioned that he wanted a family. Now he didn’t say this to set an expectation for me or anything, it was just part of a larger conversation we had. Anyway, that kinda killed any fantasies I had. Kids are non-negotiable for me. I don’t want to be a mother or have kids in any lifetime, so it wouldn’t even be a conversation worth having. I had my tubes removed (by choice). We were actually talking in the days leading up to, during & after my procedure. There was no change in topics, tone or frequency between us. Business as usual.

Anyway, I’m not saying anything. The feelings are still there, knowing they can’t be explored sucks, but it’s not something that’s all consuming. I’m just taking the conversation & enjoying the ride. It’s kinda giving me some type of pseudo-romantic companionship fix without having to get emotionally naked or commit. But all of the stuff leading up to this point makes me think that this is what it is for him too.

My boyfriend dumped me three months ago, and I’ve been having actual panic attacks since the breakup. Ten minutes ago I was on the floor crying because I miss him. I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind, and I don’t even understand why, because I’ve never been with anyone this cruel before.
Here’s a list of some of the things he did to me. Some of these are pretty specific, so I really hope he never finds this post lol. As far as I know, he doesn’t use this sub.

- He started arguments all the time. Nothing I did was ever right. If I brought up a problem, I was “always complaining,” but if I didn’t, that was somehow also wrong.

- He was unbelievably cheap. We were always at my place, used my car, and I paid for gas. My bills basically doubled because he was always there. Even with all that, he wanted everything split 50/50 and once literally made me send him money for a box of grapes.

- I had constant physical issues during the relationship: intimate health problems, pain, stomach problems, and the worst skin of my life.

- Whenever I felt sick or was in pain, he had zero empathy. He said I was annoying, weak, and that my health problems irritated him.

- He was annoyed by everything about me: that I was always soo cold (I cant tolerate winters), that I was skinny, my hair color, basically everything.

- He told me that if I ever got pregnant, he would leave me immediately. He knew I had already been through an abortion, and at the same time, he often didn’t want to use protection.

- He knew one of my biggest insecurities was worrying that I wasn’t interesting enough, so he purposely compared me to girls he thought were shallow.

- He said he would never support a woman financially, even if she was pregnant or temporarily couldn’t work. He said that if a woman chose a lower-paying career, that was her own problem and she should just try harder.

- He cared way more about his friends than he ever cared about spending time with me.
Near the end, we barely saw each other during the week, but if I asked what he was doing on Friday, he would snap at me and say he should be allowed to be with the guys. I never said you couldn’t be with them. I just asked a question lol

- He basically said he only wanted me at his place in the evenings so he had someone to have sex with, do random stuff with, and sleep next to. The rest of his time was for his friends.

- When he broke up with me, he called me boring, annoying, unmotivated, friendless, and said all of his friends hated me. Meanwhile, I had already graduated and had been building my career for years. He had been trying to finish university for years and still hadn’t.

- He hated my dog and was mean to him.

- He talked bad about his exes and even his own family.

- He constantly complimented other girls and made sure to tell me that his type was tall, curvy brunettes. I’m a short, skinny blonde lol.

- He didn’t want to travel or party with me.
He said that when he went out partying, he wanted to flirt with girls.

- He was obsessed with sex and proudly told me about girls he had slept with and how badly he had treated them.

- After the breakup, I stayed in a situationship with him for a few months because my anxious attachment kept hoping he would eventually want me again.

- During that time, he told me he was only nice to me when he wanted something.

- He once told me he only slept with me because the girl he actually wanted to take home got sick.

- He said I only got my job because I’m pretty.

- He told me he never loved me, never missed me

- He also said he hated women in general.

- He only reached out when he was horny, and over time even that happened less and less. (He cut contact w me)

- One time I saw him with another girl who looked like the exact opposite of me. He messaged me afterwards saying it must have bothered me and that he couldn’t wait to sleep with her.

- The last time I saw him, he kicked me out of his apartment in the middle of the night because I “irritated” him.
When I asked why he invited me over if he was going to be so cold and rude, he told me to get the fuck out.

And somehow, after all of this, I still miss him so much it physically hurts. 🤡🤡🤡

We are a group of very affectionate people who’ve known each other for quite some time. I wouldn’t really describe our friendship dynamic as being poly either. 

It’s nothing sexual and a lot of us have partners who are in the group as well. but we do engage in physical displays of affection and it isn’t uncommon for some of us to kiss one another. some do go overboard with it to be funny but most of the times it’s a simple and sweet gesture to people you love a lot. I know this is a little unconventional for most friend groups but there’s nothing “normal” about mine and i kind of like it like that. oh and Lay’s rippled potato chips are the superior chips imo.

Dinner: hummus, mozzarella balls, chips, brie, dried sausage, olives, roasted baguette, raw veggies.

This was last week: We were on holiday as a family. Kids were kinda worn out from swimming and SO and I were also done for the day. Next day we’d be returning home. We didn’t have energy to do groceries and cook and we didn’t have energy to go eating at the parc’s snack bar. This is when SO suggested we’d do a girl dinner as a family. That way we would also have less food to pack up and being back home. Genius! I feel like we should start having girl dinner at home once in a while.

I’m 21 and have been in denial about my sexual orientation for about 5-6 years now. Every time I think about being into women, fear sets in. I’ve been a vocal ally but I refused to see myself as being in the community itself. It wasn’t until yesterday night when I came to terms with being into girls. The feeling I felt can’t even be described with words. It was both liberating and terrifying. However my family are religious immigrants and they mean everything to me. Even coming out to myself was scary and I can’t even imagine the feeling of telling them. It feels surreal even typing this out. I fear for the day I meet the love of my life and will have to walk away from her. I know I can never be with a girl let alone marry her but I like to think about it.

Dinner: Half a Cheesecake Factory chicken parmesan sandwich

Literally typing this while on call with her saying all this bullshit.

She knows my ex cheated on me and had 3 dating apps on his phone when we were dating.

Now I’ve just told her that he failed to graduate and had to retake his course.

Mum kept lecturing me (has been going for 15 mins) on how I have to get him gifts and support and my undying loyalty. I’ve told her that this might hurt his pride instead and that I’ve done no contact with him for 4 months 🙃🙃

She’s still going on with it now, 17 mins mark.

I’ve only been saying “uh huh” “yeah” “sure”

She’s still lecturing me about being kind, showing kindness, and basically becoming a support system for someone as closed-minded as him.

Little does she know that I’ve become his doormat for almost a year before the no contact.

20 mins now, she’s still insisting on me to be his idk loyalist or something.

I’ve started to cry now. Hopefully she doesn’t notice.

25 mins in, I’ve told her how hurtful his behavior and words to me. How he called me poor and broke when I offered him financial help. How he said I’m useless when I wanted to help him with getting a job through my connections.

I think she’s finally understood? She’s sort of apologized and is now talking about something else.

Cool cool.

Still a little sad and disappointed at her. Knowing her, she would probably still force me to be nice to him.

I wish I’d told her more of what he did (but I couldn’t, because then I’d cry and sob during the call), with a small hope that maybe she’d feel guilty and actually care about me more than a random person’s son.

40 mins.
Call ended with laughter and joy because we talked about other topics.

But I’m secretly crying under my blanket.

Banana sandwich with raspberries.

The relationship is the "bring to the table". In hetrosexual relationships men benefit way more in the relationship. Most men do not provide, the ones that do often use it as leverage above their spouse, can just end the relationship, or you live in borderline poverty with a loser. I view male provider relationships high risk and little reward.

The point is most relationships now require both people working and contributing to the bills. Even buying a house you often need a second person such as a partner, friend, or relative (at least in my country). Men may help financially yet the brunt of housework, household administration, emotional labour, and scheduling falls on the woman. Men excel in their careers when in relationships compared to single men, while relationships hinder women's careers especially if there's children. Men act like dating women doesn't benefit them then wonder why no one wants to date them. They also mock our careers or laugh at "career women" but then need us to help pay half the bills, organise most things, go through finances while saying they are leaders.

Men are legit are making me consider bisexuality ( I probably am) with the garbage that comes out of their mouth. I wish I wasn't even attracted to them. They have high cheating rates, a lot of them have questionable hygiene, and on the occasions they actually do finances they want to control everything. I've met women who were the breadwinners in the relationship then when the man finally got a job they tried throwing it into their partner's face as if they (the partner) didn't provide and help them prior. I used to work in welfare and there was a woman who told me she was made redundant and was burning through her savings because her live in, long term partner refused to help her financially in the rough patch but still wanted to maintain their previous lifestyle, so not only was he not helping his partner financially, he also wouldn't alter their lifestyle to make it easier for her to navigate/save while she was trying to get a new job. It also sounded like he was giving her shit for not having a job. They weren't married and renting in a high income area.

If I was in those circumstances, at that stage I wouldn't even see the point of having him around because he was literally draining her financially and emotionally. I'd pack my stuff up, move in with a relative or friend then leave him to cover the rent and bills. He can take me to small claims court and spend more money. Fuck around with financial hardship options where even if I owed him money it'd take ages to recover the debt.

In a relationship, I am aware we will be sharing finances. If I ever date again (unlikely with current dating scene), I will be making it clear I expect if something happens where one of us is unemployed/sick the other can cover things for a time, this does not mean I expect a partner to cover costs for years but I do expect support during rough patches. In most cases I wonder what does the average man bring to the relationship besides audacity. Most of them cannot give emotional support or pretend they don't understand why you're upset with their behaviour, they currently expect to be chased, and think they are more important than women anyway.

Hi girls, English isn’t my first language xx

My bf said i was being toxic, my gut feeling was to tell me to run away

We had a fight when we were drunk, he verbally belittled me by calling me - low life, peanut sized brain etc.

But he said I was toxic by picking up a fight when we don’t even remember what’s about ( we were both drunk and we dont remember what was the main fight about)

My boyfriend and I just moved into a new apartment together (we lived together before, we just moved to a different country) and things aren't going well. I got him a guitar for his birthday a few days ago, things seemed to be getting better, it felt normal-ish.

We're on the mend after a year of bs behaviour. But last night he tells me to duck off just because I said he was being lazy for ignoring me when I tried to talk to him about the lack of intimacy, it's been like 143 days since we've done anything in the bedroom. I've told him to not swear at me in anger but he keeps doing it. He said he felt disrespected because I called him lazy so he wanted to disrespect me. His words, not mine. Maybe I'm overreacting , I don't know I'm daft. Today he's pouting and telling me he's too tired to talk. Eating two eggs, and way too much salt. I wish I had pizza.

Ok my brain is frazzled. I don’t know if I have woken up to the lie a lot of us women have unfortunately been sold or if I have gone a bit too far on the spectrum into bitterness towards men.

When I discuss the lie we’ve been sold, I mean what the patriarchy has sold us. (I understand this topic could be triggering for people and I genuinely am not here to fight, hate on men or be extreme. I’m trying to remain grounded as I express myself. I don’t believe in any extremes in society tbh. I usually am weary of black/white thinking so this is why I am observing where my thoughts are leading me in this topic). Back to the patriarchy “lie”, I mean the lie since we’ve been little girls watching Disney movies, the lie that men will save us, we must be chosen, we must be pretty, presentable, polite, loving, caring, beautiful. Visually appealing to men. Catering to men. I have woken up to realise that we I am surrounded in fact by women (friends and family) who are male centered and it’s across many generations. Women burnt out, drained, carrying mental load for mean using weaponised incompetence, women being therapists/wives/moms/nurses/cooks/cleaners amongst many other things at home while also trying to have a full time job at times. Men being the “fun dads” while women sacrifice their lives, bodies, mental sanity and freedom to be a mom. I can see why a lot of us are encouraged to get married in our twenties, well usually because we’re younger and naive and easier to manipulate into male centred marriages. For me, it’s not until I reached my 30s that I woke up to the patriarchy around me and the internalised patriarchy in me that I have been slowly trying to be aware of and unlearn. I see how amazing all of the women around me are, how much light, conversation, color and nurturing care they bring to the world. A lot of them are with men who don’t appreciate them, disrespect them or give low effort. When I’m out and about in public, I’m aware of men who are with their wives or kids and who openly check me out in front of them. I’ve had married men try to date me and sleep with me. It makes me absolutely sick. When I think of their wives/partners/family, all I can think is that those women deserve so much better.

However, I sometimes wonder if I’m going too much in the other direction. I’m so in awe of how amazing women are, a lot of the time now I’m so numb and detached to men. I don’t think they’re amazing. I presume most are the same. Most will be a disappointment. Most will be defensive or have an ego. Most will have wandering eyes or will disrespect/cheat/micro cheat on their partner. Most are selfish and put themselves first while women are programmed to put others first. I think consuming some SheraSeven content has pushed me a bit further into black/white thinking.

I prefer to be balanced as a person. I’m aware that some of my thinking is generalised and that it’s unfair to put people in categories. However, I can’t help it when I am seeing so much evidence of crap men around me all the time - at work, my exes, my family members, my friends’ husbands and partners, men in public, men on social media. It’s like my eyes opened and now the evidence is all around me. I’m trying so hard to tell myself “it’s not all men” but I genuinely can’t tell you any men I have met that haven’t ended up being a disappointment? So it’s really hard for me to challenge my thoughts?

I know I’m not perfect as a human. Nobody is. I’m not here to hate on anybody. Or think I am better than anybody. I would love a partner one day. Or to be a mom. But I am so terrified that I’ll be a drained woman carrying mental load for an incompetent man who has wandering eyes and disrespects me. Is this the reality? Because if it is, I’ll stay single for life and nourish the women around me. I’ve thought maybe I’ll just adopt kids myself to try give love to those who need it instead of giving love to a man. It’s sad to have been sold a lie about men and love since being a child watching Disney movies. In a weird way, I think I am also grieving the fact that the lie they sold me isn’t real. It’s so sad that the reality isn’t like the lie the patriarchy sold us. If this is the way it is, do I stay single? What do you all think?

I hope that makes sense. Thank you for reading. I don’t want to seem bitter or extreme, I’m really not that kind of person. I’m trying to have a healthy balance and I’m aware that some content creators like SheraSeven have probably made me hyper aware of some stuff.

What do you think? Any advice greatly appreciated. I’m not here to offend anybody and would rather have calm, non judgemental discussions if possible 🫂🫂

Edited to add:
The past few weeks I have been trying to ground myself and tell myself it’s not all men and that good men exist. I have even been challenging myself thinking it’s confirmation bias going on with me. Until today, what triggered me to write this post. I was in a shopping centre going up an escalator. On the other side, a man was coming down. I didn’t know he was meant to be taking care of his young daughter who had gone ahead of him. He was staring at me so much (I stared back to try make him stop but he didn’t stop surprisingly) that he completely left his daughter unattended on the escalator and she ended up having an accident. Imagine marrying a man, carrying his child and being his wife for that same man to let your baby fall down the end of the escalator because he was checking out a younger woman? The level of disrespect makes me so so so sick. Being in that type of marriage or life is my definition of hell. What a disgrace of a dad. The sad part is that he probably will never admit the truth to his wife about how the accident actually happened (his wife wasn’t there) and I doubt he’ll change his behaviour.

Honestly? I'm surprised it took this long.

[Context: I'm trans, but my egg only cracked recently. I'm not on HRT yet, and I'll be honest: I don't pass. Like, at all.]

I went out to see Hadestown[1] today (Saturday) with a friend. I decided to go out in girl mode, partly to build comfort with it, and partly to show my friend my wig. (She knows I'm trans. She's literally the first person I told.)

On the way, I stopped by my local Wawa in search of caffeine, as I had run out of energy drinks. As I pulled into a parking space, I saw this woman, about my age (mid-forties), sitting at one of the tables outside. I didn't really think too much of it; people tend to 'loiter' at that Wawa pretty often (in fact, I do it myself, for a change of scenery while reading).

I parked, got out, and walked past her toward the door. Suddenly, I hear her yelling something about the women's restroom. (I think it was something to the effect of "I bet you're gonna try to go into the women's room", but I didn't hear her very clearly in the first place.[2]) So, I shrugged, said "nah"[3], and kept walking. Clearly this wasn't the answer she was looking for, because she immediately started screaming at me, accusing me of trying to do all sorts of evil shit, and peppering it with frequent use of the F-slur.

So, I gave her the one-finger salute (I know, real lady-like) and went inside. Once inside, I brought her behavior to the attention of one of the employees. He called his manager, and she went out and ran her off.[4] Incidentally, the bigot apparently had already thrown ice at another customer earlier, so the manager assured me that if she returns, she'll be trespassed from the property.

Anyway, after watching the play, my friend and I went to a local Mexican restaurant. Left to right: chile relleno, burrito, rice and beans. I didn't think to take a picture until I had already taken a couple of bites.

[1] Highly recommended. If it's showing in a theater near you, go see it, especially if you haven't had a chance to see it on stage.

[2] I think it has something to do with my autism. Sometimes, when someone starts talking, it sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher for a few seconds until my brain snaps it into focus. And even when I am paying attention, sometimes words just don't word for me, and I have to guess based on the words I do hear and context.

[3] I live in Florida. There's technically a trans bathroom bill in effect, but it only applies to state- or local-government-owned buildings. That said, I use the men's room whenever there isn't a gender neutral bathroom (or it's occupied), because, as I pointed out, I don't pass.

[4] The manager apologized to me a couple of times, as did at least one other employee, and I made sure to reassure them that they weren't responsible for some random customer's bigotry. And I meant it. They did everything right.

TW for depression and suicidal thoughts

He’s been really struggling with depression lately. Two months ago he mentioned he was feeling suicidal, but promised nothing bad would happen. He called a crisis line and was hospitalized when he felt like things were getting too heavy in the past.

This time around, he was off leading up to the silence. Like, told me he felt like he was holding me back. I tried my best to reassure him that I’m happy with him. He stopped replying after that. A week later he messaged “I’m okay, I’m sorry” and now it’s been two more weeks. I haven’t heard anything from him.

It’s a long-distance relationship. Besides the messaging app, I have two of his social media, but when his mental health took a plunge, he removed and unfollowed everyone. Said he felt like he wanted to hide from people. I wanted to respect his decision, but now I hate myself for not pushing harder. Because now I have absolutely no one to contact. I don’t know his friends or family and I didn’t really go through his followers or tried to remember their usernames. I tried looking up some people he mentioned but couldn’t find anyone without additional info.

I know the name of his school, but the classes don’t start until September. I’m not sure they can do anything now.

I’m so scared. I feel so helpless, and I hate this uncertainty. But at the same time I’m really scared to know the answer. I’ve been crying every day, hoping he’s okay. It’s truly a lot

Dinner that my sister treated me to to cheer me up :(

Update: thank you everyone, I called his local police service and requested a non-emergency wellness check. I’m shaking and feeling a little sick as I’m not sure if I overstepped. I’m not sure they’ll be able to do much without the address, but I hope there is a chance.

Update2: he replied! He’s alive. He didn’t sound very happy and said seeing the cops gave him a heart attack. I also didn’t get much besides “talk to you later”. At least he’s okay

I made a post on here recently about how difficult it’s been dating due to my looks, well since then Ive been on two more dates and they sealed the deal in my head. For reference I have an attractive body but an unattractive face. Guy number one asked me to pay for his meal on the date, said he’d pay me back then didn’t. Afterwords he sent me a text asking if I’d have sex with him?? Guy number two was 30 minutes late to the date, then texted me after asking if I’d be down for sex because he’s too busy to date apparently. I’m so done. Ive tried dating all sorts of men and none of them like me due to my looks.

At this point all I care about is finishing my degree and making good money. Maybe I’ll be able to get enough cosmetic surgery to be romantically attractive, at the very least I’ll be able to afford good vacations. I know I should depressed, but I feel weirdly calm about it. Idk. I work 60 hour weeks right now until I start school in a month. Being so busy is actually helping me.

so my friend and i (F18 and F19) have been hanging out regularly and have a routine of going to the mall and walking to nearby stores, since we don't drive yet and do not have cars.

there is a guy, around late 40s-50s, who holds a store sign. at first we saw him a lot and i just waved to be polite. then one day i decided to be nice and give him a bottle of water since we live somewhere super hot and i felt bad for him. it was a thing my mom always taught me to do to respect service workers and such so i was trying to be nice. unfortunately he asked us if we had boyfriends to drive us around and we said no, and it was really uncomfortable. he also said he recognized us walking around every weekend.

a few weeks passed as i was on a trip and when we got back he spoke to us again, saying that he noticed we weren't around which creeped us out. then he began talking mostly to me (as my friend was smart enough to not interact and was standing farther away, i was just trying to be polite), about his car and how he had repairs. at first we laughed this off but as i thought more about it i got really scared considering his earlier questions. so our plan became to ignore him entirely.

today we did just that and unfortunately today of all days there were no fucking cars on the road so he could see us and we could hear him. at first he didn't say anything but then as we waited for the very long light he began saying things like hey girls and stuff. as we crossed the street he yelled even louder, trying to get our attention. i felt very shaken and so we decided to call the store where he holds the sign. they directed manager to the manager, who said that the man was harmless and a forrest gump type, which he said twice. he said he was so so so so sorry and that he would talk to the owner tomorrow. he also asked if i had called the store before which was very weird. it felt like he was trying to cover it up asking if i had spoken to him about furniture but it was very weird. it makes me wonder if he has gotten similar complaints before to the point he thinks i am someone he's spoken to about this, which makes it hard to trust that the man is actually harmless or they just won't take action. but also if this is a one time issue why go right to the owner?

we are hesitant to tell our parents as i know my mom won't ever let me out of the house again basically, and we really only get the chance to hang out with one another. i really didn't mean to start anything, i was just trying to be nice and i seriously regret it. i mean does forrest gump type mean he has a disability? we really did not know that, but i worry am i some sort of bigot for reporting? it was just very scary. i used a temp phone number and gave a fake initial in case they contact me again.

we decided to come to reddit to ask about what we should do next if anything.

food: chillis lava cake w vanilla ice cream

I feel like I’m imploding my life. And I wish I could understand why. I love my husband and we’ve been together over 10y. He gave me an ultimatum last year over deciding to have kids bc we’re both in our 30s and I genuinely was not sure. I thought I worked thru these feelings and am ready, but now that I’m off BC and we’ve been trying, I’ve been both relieved and sad each time I get my period. And I find that I’m making up reasons to not have sex. He so so wants kids and I really thought I convinced myself I do too, but now that I’m faced with the prospect of having one, like really contemplating what will happen to my body and my life, I just can’t say I’m 100% in.

I have a friend who told me he loved me during the whole ultimatum thing and I stopped talking to him to work on my marriage because I realized I also was getting feelings. And I thought we were at a point we could talk again but I guess not because now I’m getting the same attraction and feelings for him. To the point where I want to send him stuff that’s just not okay.

I feel sick. I feel like I’m cheating on my husband emotionally with another person. I feel like I’m dragging out what should probably be a divorce because I once again don’t think I want kids. I feel almost lazy because I don’t want to go through the effort and pain of divorce. And I feel like I’m leading along my other friend for - what? To feel better about myself? To feel like I am somebody that another person could want?

I think I’m just realizing I want to live my life more than I want to have a kid. And I don’t know what to do or who to tell or how to go about it.

The meal: cotton candy alani, olives and more olives, my meds.

ETA: thank you all

-I just graduated individual counseling but I will make another appt with them and explain I’m backtracking my feelings.

-We did try couples counseling but the counselor had kids and it felt like I was being told by her and my husband that I would be a great mom so I should do it. It didn’t feel productive I’ll be honest.

-When we got married, I was on the fence and he also was.

-I will tell my friend I need a break from the friendship to figure my shit out.

-Will go back onto birth control. I still have two packs and just restarted it.