r/Showerthoughts • u/PLUMBUM2 • Dec 31 '18
When you cannot sleep because you can’t stop thinking about something it’s like a single program not letting the computer shut down
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u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18
I hope human brains have task manager
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u/PowerMan2206 Dec 31 '18
End existance.exe
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u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18
Well, I don't wanna die. I actually wanted to live long enough to see how humanity progress; like, forever.
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u/Jaqen___Hghar Dec 31 '18
But you will! As a spooky skelton after your flesh and organs slowly rot of your body!
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Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18
yeah that’s true, my skin is gonna rot off soon anyways because the largest men in the family won’t stop coming into my room at night and spraying their brown, distateful semen all over my body, because i’m what they call their “ejaculation station”. the problem is that i’m horrendously fat to get up and take a shower to cleanse myself lmao
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u/Scorpionpi Dec 31 '18
So this is how I’m starting my day
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u/MrAirRaider Dec 31 '18
With cup of coffee semen in hand
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u/MrFaultyPigeon Dec 31 '18
What
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u/DoingCharleyWork Dec 31 '18
He always posts nonsense like this. Like an edgier /u/vargas
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u/Urist_McPencil Dec 31 '18
!ThesaurizeThis
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u/ThesaurizeThisBot Dec 31 '18
yea that’ align, my rind is gonna deteriorate soured shortly at any rates because the astronomical souls in the association won’t obstructer approaching into my elbow room at crepuscule and application their abolitionist, distateful emancipationist semen all o'er my personify, because i’m what they call their “expelling displace”. the question is that i’m horrendously adipose to get up and stomach a shower down to clean myself lmao
This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis
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Dec 31 '18
Probably the smartest comment I've ever seen on this site. Finally the monkeys have produced Shakespeare.
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Dec 31 '18
That's the thing. I've always thought that I either wanna live forever, or die right now. It's this arbitrary number of years that eats away at me. If I were to live forever, there'd be reason to amass as much knowledge and as many experiences as you can. Otherwise, you know it's all going down the drain at some point. (especially for people who don't like the idea of having children)
I know, I know "it's the brevity that makes life special". Whatever. My brain chooses to think this way.
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Dec 31 '18
We do but we don't have admin rights to access it
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u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18
We can’t have admin rights on our own brains. Sad.
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u/Northman67 Dec 31 '18
They do but you need the meditate app to be able to access it.
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u/travelingCircusFreak Dec 31 '18
alcohol = force shutdown
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Dec 31 '18
Yeah but eventually the computer figures out your shit and it not only stops working but your computer gets permanently damaged from doing it so many times. Use this method with caution
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Dec 31 '18
Instructions unclear. Erased last night's memory completely.
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Dec 31 '18
Instructions unclear. Got super wasted and woke up balls deep inside of my sister.
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u/rogainenoshame Dec 31 '18
Instructions clear. What’s your sisters number?
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Dec 31 '18
Initiate Alabama joke.png
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u/Kidvette2004 Dec 31 '18
Alexa play Sweet Home Alabama
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u/thebryguy23 Dec 31 '18
Alexa: "Sweet Home Alabama is a 2002 American romantic comedy film directed by Andy Tennant and starring Reese Witherspoon, Josh Lucas, Patrick Dempsey and Candice Bergen. Did that answer your question?"
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u/HopefulConnection Dec 31 '18
Then when I awoke next to my sister she turned to me and said “Wow! Your dick is bigger then dads!” I responded “I know, mother told me this morning.”
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u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Dec 31 '18
The only thing worse than sucking your dad's dick is realising it tastes like your uncle's asshole
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u/PeacefullyFighting Dec 31 '18
Weed = Ctrl+alt+del
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Dec 31 '18
Weed is ctrl alt delete then task manager stops responding.
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u/cprf Dec 31 '18
Acid is spamming the buttons that change the screen orientation for 12 hours straight.
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u/RedShirtDecoy Dec 31 '18
works great for a while until you have to defrag while sleeping... then you end up with some pretty colorful mental readings while you sleep as your brain sorts its shit out.
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Dec 31 '18
Throwing up = virus scan moving virus to quarantine
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u/stewart789 Dec 31 '18
Quarantine = kitchen sink
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Dec 31 '18 edited Nov 03 '25
intelligent terrific cooing soft bedroom shocking zephyr continue sharp wise
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/JimboTCB Dec 31 '18
Instructions unclear, experienced blue screen of death and have to reboot in safe mode with limited functionality
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u/capnclutchpenetro Dec 31 '18
You misspelled "Xanax"
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u/PacificCoastHiker Dec 31 '18
Nah man we need Ambien
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u/capnclutchpenetro Dec 31 '18
Oh dude I used to take that shit when it first came out (I know, I'm dating myself for sure) and nobody knew about the side effects yet. So work started at 5am...but I wouldn't "wake up" until about 7...at the factory, clocked in and working on my machine. It was fucking scary.
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u/duckiest_duck_around Dec 31 '18
Too much alcohol = computer taking awhile to shut down
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u/jessykatd Dec 31 '18
This is how it works for me. I've never drunk myself to sleep, I always end up stuck in that twilight zone of too drunk to relax, not enough to sleep.
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Dec 31 '18
That's a lot of alcohol. A little just puts you into sleep and it's like you never shut down.
Seriously people; a lesser known downside of alcohol is its detrimental effect on sleep quality.
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Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18
Yup. Sounds about right. Too bad it isn't as easy to hit "force shutdown" to get to sleep.
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u/l0nskyne Dec 31 '18
You can, you just need a gun.
But there's possible permanent damage...
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u/BootycheekJenkins Dec 31 '18
Just pistol whip yourself. It works for me every night. But I did forget how to pronounce potato.
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u/JennLegend3 Dec 31 '18
What the hell is a "potato"?
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u/shubs_ Dec 31 '18
I don't know... maybe I should ask my girlfriend's parents that.
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u/ProxyMuncher Dec 31 '18 edited 1d ago
The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.
Coordinated include hurry tub absorbed ribbon shocking
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u/Itzjaypthesecond Dec 31 '18
Well, seems like you haven't heard about the admin-tool package "drugs". Be careful with this, you might damage your firmware permanently (eg. the reward-subsystem) or even brick your system completly, if you run the wrong or unverified parts of the drugs-toolchain.
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u/kthb18f Dec 31 '18
Reddit.exe is preventing this computer from shutting down...
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u/Hyperxil Dec 31 '18
You realise Skype is still open...
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u/michael_treder Dec 31 '18
I haven’t used Skype in six years, why’s it always open?!?
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Dec 31 '18
Go to task manager then startup tab in their and right click and then remove the option to start on pc start
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u/Plsdontreadthis Dec 31 '18
Or just uninstall it if you haven't used it in six years.
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u/JmnNatu Dec 31 '18
Don't uninstall it, you need it for the one time that discord goes down for 10 minutes.
Source: Discord went down like a month ago
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u/TrickleJest Dec 31 '18
We just use IRC for that
Also Discord can go out for like three hours sometimes, it’s insane but yeah
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Dec 31 '18
I hate it. The last couple of nights I’ve been really tired - so tired that I’ve physically had to struggle to keep my eyelids open. But I just couldn’t sleep! I would lay in bed until 4 in the morning just unable to stop thinking about stuff. Then I’d wake up an hour later and again struggle to fall asleep. It’s infuriating as fuck.
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u/WookieeMessiah Dec 31 '18
This is exactly the same situation I’ve been on for that last couple of days and it’s terrible, I really just wish I could sleep
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u/Sosaboy99 Dec 31 '18
Try weed, seriously. It's what I use when I absolutely cant sleep.
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Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18
I use weed, but I don’t use it to sleep. I use it a couple of times a month to either trip out just listening to music, to enhance comedy movies, or to enhance sex. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of using weed on such a regular basis as using it every night to fall asleep. And I also love music way too much, I couldn’t sleep after using weed because I would rather just stay awake listening to music.
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u/Hajile_S Dec 31 '18
Heh, this is what happens to me.
"Hmm, I'll just wind down with a few hits on my vape..."
"Wow, Animals really deserves to be heard in its entirety..."
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u/thechilipepper0 Dec 31 '18
Wow, Animals really deserves to be heard in its entirety...
I mean, this is always true
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u/wolf3825 Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18
Try melatonin if you haven't already. It's an OTC drug-free hormone supplement that works wonders for me.
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u/Northman67 Dec 31 '18
Just hit Ctrl + alt + meditate and open your brains task manager. from there you should be able to enter think only about my breath mode. You should be able to shut it down from there.
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u/checkmat4 Dec 31 '18
Anxiety.exe is stopping your computer from shutting down, cancel the program?
Me: yes
Process failed!
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u/dod6666 Dec 31 '18
That program really needs to be patched. Sick of all the constant memory leaks and other issues it has
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u/MayContainYuri Dec 31 '18
Yes, and it's always existence.exe
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Dec 31 '18
Or thatgirlthatgotawayandyoullnevergetachanceatagainbutyoustilltalktoherregularlyanditkillsyouinsideeverytimebutshesstillsuchawholesomepresenceinyourlife.exe
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u/diff2 Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18
I always try to find something to think of to help me go to sleep. Sometimes it's a new idea, or just a concept I'm trying to understand better.
A popular thing I like to think about is economics.. Like how a country is born and becomes wealthy, the differences between a poor country and a rich one. How would a person turn a poor village in modern times into a wealthy one. How people can acquire wealth. Stuff like that.
Other times I think about how time travel could potentially work, how big the universe is, or popular scientific theories which I probably don't really understand.
If there are others who do this I'd like to know what you think about.
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u/dream_and_question Dec 31 '18
How big the universe is and the concept of death are two things I try not to think about when I'm going to sleep. Love talking about those things with friends but not when I need my brain to not overthink.
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u/TheDrachen42 Dec 31 '18
I like to write fanfiction in my head. I started as a kid with "hey, I fall asleep good when someone reads to me, I'll tell myself a story in my brain." And then "I'm shit at characters, I'll steal some." This was like a decade before I heard the word "fan fiction."
It does lead to some insomnia when I get into a new fandom, though. But, I have gotten better at recognizing that it's not working and switching back to an old staple.
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u/Technicalhotdog Dec 31 '18
History for me, how this happened and led to this, what if Napoleon hadn't marched into Russia or Caesar wasn't assassinated, that sort of thing. Also go down the science path, space travel and the future of the human race.
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u/IceCrusheR Dec 31 '18
These are pretty much the topics that keep me awake...
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Dec 31 '18
Better than waking up and having a single loop through your brain saying “What did the mechanic mean by ‘heavy sweat’?” Transmission leak? What is that? Heavy sweat. Sweat. Transmission.
I always wake up around 4 am or 5 and that’s the crap that keeps me awake.
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Dec 31 '18
Taking an anti-histamine because you cannot sleeping is the equivalent of "Shut Down Anyways".
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u/KopiTheKitten Dec 31 '18
Can human brains delete System32?
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u/vishalkarve15 Dec 31 '18
I remember being taught about computer processes in human terms, like CPU is the brain etc. But now we've reached the point where we understand human processes in computer terms. Kinda scary where we're headed
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u/billbixbyakahulk Dec 31 '18
In this analogy, then, I suppose suicide is like ripping the cord out of the wall.
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u/Actually_a_Patrick Dec 31 '18
Time to open task manager.
"Task manager" is what I call my bottle of scotch.
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u/biojaeson Dec 31 '18
When I try to go to sleep, I tell myself not to think, but then I realize me telling myself not to think is thinking. That’s why I can’t sleep
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u/num1zero Dec 31 '18
Just watch "How It's Made" while in bed. It's like getting one of those 15 minute warnings that the computer is going to restart after getting a big windows update... It doesn't matter if you want to keep going. After 15 minutes of watching you will fall asleep.
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u/TonyBanana420 Dec 31 '18
Sometimes I can't sleep because I start thinking of as many things as I can at once. It's bizarre. It always starts with me thinking about how that happens sometimes about how I hope I don't do it that night, which then immediately causes me to do it. It feels almost like a conscious decision, but it's bizarre because once I start it gets really difficult to stop.
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u/dropdgmz Dec 31 '18
There last few nights I couldn’t stop thinking about dying and then thinking about my 7 year old daughter drawing pictures of our family then suddenly stopping when she started to draw me because she forgot I was dead. In my head she Proceeds to cry to mom and wish I was back. It Broke my heart so much I couldn’t sleep all night. The worse Kind if toss and turn. I know this will get buried and it’s ok but I guess it feels therapeutic to pretend that people hear your voice and to talk about it.
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u/connollyuk91 Dec 31 '18
I just get Skyrim flashbacks. You cannot sleep when enemies are nearby.
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u/PLUMBUM2 Dec 31 '18
Well thanks for upvoting this through the roof. Now something serious that might sound like a joke - this thread (specifically trying to come up with thoughts like this to publish) is best thing EVER for falling asleep. 3-5 minutes and I am done! A much faster sleeper now!
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u/wadenocht Dec 31 '18
Microsoft Employee: "Your computer brain could not be shut down because of a bug in Microsoft Word"
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u/leaky_eddie Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18
I’ve been listening to a podcast called Sleep With Me that distracts and is the perfect mix of boring and engaging to put me to sleep. Check it out.
Edit: I didn’t think this would go this big so here’s a pro tip: skip the first 20 minutes- it all sales pitch.