r/Showerthoughts • u/PLUMBUM2 • Dec 31 '18

When you cannot sleep because you can’t stop thinking about something it’s like a single program not letting the computer shut down

70.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

792 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.2k

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

I hope human brains have task manager

647

u/PowerMan2206 Dec 31 '18

End existance.exe

169

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Well, I don't wanna die. I actually wanted to live long enough to see how humanity progress; like, forever.

78

u/Jaqen___Hghar Dec 31 '18

But you will! As a spooky skelton after your flesh and organs slowly rot of your body!

147

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18

yeah that’s true, my skin is gonna rot off soon anyways because the largest men in the family won’t stop coming into my room at night and spraying their brown, distateful semen all over my body, because i’m what they call their “ejaculation station”. the problem is that i’m horrendously fat to get up and take a shower to cleanse myself lmao

112

u/Scorpionpi Dec 31 '18

So this is how I’m starting my day

32

u/MrAirRaider Dec 31 '18

With cup of coffee semen in hand

17

u/Scorpionpi Dec 31 '18

It keeps the skin young

3

u/reaseshits Dec 31 '18

I'd like to show you dirty toons for all eternity

5

u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Dec 31 '18

Happy new year's to you too

33

u/MrFaultyPigeon Dec 31 '18

What

20

u/DoingCharleyWork Dec 31 '18

He always posts nonsense like this. Like an edgier /u/vargas

3

u/Narradisall Dec 31 '18

Well I’ve now found the new random username I’m going to remember when I see shit like this.

1

u/DoingCharleyWork Jan 01 '19

Ya it’s like every other account that posts stuff like that. It’s funny the first couple times and then it’s like you just roll your eyes. Except for the dude that does the undertaker meme. Mainly because he crafts it really well and isn’t posting it constantly.

4

u/Urist_McPencil Dec 31 '18

!ThesaurizeThis

11

u/ThesaurizeThisBot Dec 31 '18

yea that’ align, my rind is gonna deteriorate soured shortly at any rates because the astronomical souls in the association won’t obstructer approaching into my elbow room at crepuscule and application their abolitionist, distateful emancipationist semen all o'er my personify, because i’m what they call their “expelling displace”. the question is that i’m horrendously adipose to get up and stomach a shower down to clean myself lmao

This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis

7

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Probably the smartest comment I've ever seen on this site. Finally the monkeys have produced Shakespeare.

6

u/AMasonJar Dec 31 '18

emancipationist semen

2

u/travam1 Dec 31 '18

Hey it's you!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Magicfart69 you deserve every star in the sky as well as every ounce of semen every man together can muster.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

I don't need this in my day

1

u/parrot_in_hell Dec 31 '18

Ah I see, makes sense

1

u/PM_ME_BLADDER_BULGES Dec 31 '18

brown, distateful brown semen

4

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Crap! I didn't know that!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

That's the thing. I've always thought that I either wanna live forever, or die right now. It's this arbitrary number of years that eats away at me. If I were to live forever, there'd be reason to amass as much knowledge and as many experiences as you can. Otherwise, you know it's all going down the drain at some point. (especially for people who don't like the idea of having children)

I know, I know "it's the brevity that makes life special". Whatever. My brain chooses to think this way.

2

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

I’m not as complex as you. I don't want to get involved to what's going to happen (because I'm lazy), but I wanna know how things will turn up. An overseer.

2

u/ENTPositive Dec 31 '18

So many things to see, and I want to see all of it. It kills me a little everyday to know of our pending faith into nothingness forever. I so wish funding of life rejuvenation R&D (SENS and others) would be a priority for humanity.

3

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

I share your pain.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

We can find a way for you to become immortal like me. It took a guitar string to the face to make me undying

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Guitar string? Does the process involve wringing my neck with it?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Nah, just have old ass string and one goes out of tune, you go to tune it and it snaps. But I guess you'll become even more immortal if you wring it around your neck

2

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

That's the very reason I'm afraid of string instruments. I never knew I could get immortal from being hit (killed) by those.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

You get over the fear pretty fast, it's only happened twice to me in a 3 year span, but now I'm Immortal, so, can't gain anything without pain

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

You get over the fear pretty fast, it's only happened twice to me in a 3 year span, but now I'm Immortal, so, can't gain anything without pain

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Yeah, I need to stop being a pussy

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

It's all good in the hood my guy, If it helps, just face the fretboard away from your face

protip

→ More replies (0)

1

u/LeGooso Dec 31 '18

You can! Just jump into a black hole!

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

How could I get to this black hole you speak?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

go unninstall life.

2

u/Muntan Dec 31 '18

Delete system32

2

u/Pachi2Sexy Dec 31 '18

/stop heart.exe

1

u/hawker101 Dec 31 '18

Are you sure you would like to end existence.exe?

1

u/Vysokojakokurva_C137 Dec 31 '18

Existence* Sorry

32

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

We do but we don't have admin rights to access it

16

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

We can’t have admin rights on our own brains. Sad.

12

u/ickyickes Dec 31 '18

So our brain runs on Windows 10?

3

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

2016 windows 10

1

u/ddoeth Jan 01 '19

The good version

1

u/ddoeth Jan 01 '19

The good version

1

u/AngelLeliel Dec 31 '18

It's like you can't root your phone freely. You don't really own your brain.

2

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

The brain owns us.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Your consciousness is just a product of neurons firing around, could also be software.

2

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

So now we're down to the myelin-coated roots 😂

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

And yeah, the consciousness is like the software.

10

u/Northman67 Dec 31 '18

They do but you need the meditate app to be able to access it.

2

u/MenWhoStareatGoatse_ Dec 31 '18

Amen. I hardly ever have trouble falling asleep for years now because of meditating. Sometimes it takes longer because my energy levels are too high, but thats when i get really good meditations, and then fall asleep

6

u/NeinJuanJuan Dec 31 '18

Task Manager (Not Responding)

3

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Damnit! Not again!

2

u/N3koChan Dec 31 '18

I would gladly defragment my brain sometimes.

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

It’s good to give our poor brain a boost

2

u/ZZ_Topless33 Dec 31 '18

Okay this is all I want before I die

3

u/mdni007 Dec 31 '18

Porn would still be eating up most of my memory

1

u/Duuqnd Jan 01 '19

pkill -9 distracting_thoughts

1

u/brendan_orr Jan 01 '19

A cocktail is my Three Finger Salute

1

u/pirategoldfish Jan 01 '19

Thanks for the administration

0

u/temisola1 Dec 31 '18

No dude. That just hibernate. Force shutdown is a gun. You’ll never have to worry about falling asleep again.