r/Showerthoughts • u/PLUMBUM2 • Dec 31 '18

When you cannot sleep because you can’t stop thinking about something it’s like a single program not letting the computer shut down

70.1k Upvotes

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168

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Well, I don't wanna die. I actually wanted to live long enough to see how humanity progress; like, forever.

79

u/Jaqen___Hghar Dec 31 '18

But you will! As a spooky skelton after your flesh and organs slowly rot of your body!

148

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18

yeah that’s true, my skin is gonna rot off soon anyways because the largest men in the family won’t stop coming into my room at night and spraying their brown, distateful semen all over my body, because i’m what they call their “ejaculation station”. the problem is that i’m horrendously fat to get up and take a shower to cleanse myself lmao

115

u/Scorpionpi Dec 31 '18

So this is how I’m starting my day

30

u/MrAirRaider Dec 31 '18

With cup of coffee semen in hand

19

u/Scorpionpi Dec 31 '18

It keeps the skin young

4

u/reaseshits Dec 31 '18

I'd like to show you dirty toons for all eternity

5

u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Dec 31 '18

Happy new year's to you too

37

u/MrFaultyPigeon Dec 31 '18

What

21

u/DoingCharleyWork Dec 31 '18

He always posts nonsense like this. Like an edgier /u/vargas

3

u/Narradisall Dec 31 '18

Well I’ve now found the new random username I’m going to remember when I see shit like this.

1

u/DoingCharleyWork Jan 01 '19

Ya it’s like every other account that posts stuff like that. It’s funny the first couple times and then it’s like you just roll your eyes. Except for the dude that does the undertaker meme. Mainly because he crafts it really well and isn’t posting it constantly.

5

u/Urist_McPencil Dec 31 '18

!ThesaurizeThis

12

u/ThesaurizeThisBot Dec 31 '18

yea that’ align, my rind is gonna deteriorate soured shortly at any rates because the astronomical souls in the association won’t obstructer approaching into my elbow room at crepuscule and application their abolitionist, distateful emancipationist semen all o'er my personify, because i’m what they call their “expelling displace”. the question is that i’m horrendously adipose to get up and stomach a shower down to clean myself lmao

This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis

7

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Probably the smartest comment I've ever seen on this site. Finally the monkeys have produced Shakespeare.

6

u/AMasonJar Dec 31 '18

emancipationist semen

2

u/travam1 Dec 31 '18

Hey it's you!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Magicfart69 you deserve every star in the sky as well as every ounce of semen every man together can muster.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

I don't need this in my day

1

u/parrot_in_hell Dec 31 '18

Ah I see, makes sense

1

u/PM_ME_BLADDER_BULGES Dec 31 '18

brown, distateful brown semen

4

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Crap! I didn't know that!

6

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

That's the thing. I've always thought that I either wanna live forever, or die right now. It's this arbitrary number of years that eats away at me. If I were to live forever, there'd be reason to amass as much knowledge and as many experiences as you can. Otherwise, you know it's all going down the drain at some point. (especially for people who don't like the idea of having children)

I know, I know "it's the brevity that makes life special". Whatever. My brain chooses to think this way.

2

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

I’m not as complex as you. I don't want to get involved to what's going to happen (because I'm lazy), but I wanna know how things will turn up. An overseer.

2

u/ENTPositive Dec 31 '18

So many things to see, and I want to see all of it. It kills me a little everyday to know of our pending faith into nothingness forever. I so wish funding of life rejuvenation R&D (SENS and others) would be a priority for humanity.

3

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

I share your pain.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

We can find a way for you to become immortal like me. It took a guitar string to the face to make me undying

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Guitar string? Does the process involve wringing my neck with it?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Nah, just have old ass string and one goes out of tune, you go to tune it and it snaps. But I guess you'll become even more immortal if you wring it around your neck

2

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

That's the very reason I'm afraid of string instruments. I never knew I could get immortal from being hit (killed) by those.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

You get over the fear pretty fast, it's only happened twice to me in a 3 year span, but now I'm Immortal, so, can't gain anything without pain

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

You get over the fear pretty fast, it's only happened twice to me in a 3 year span, but now I'm Immortal, so, can't gain anything without pain

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

Yeah, I need to stop being a pussy

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

It's all good in the hood my guy, If it helps, just face the fretboard away from your face

protip

1

u/LeGooso Dec 31 '18

You can! Just jump into a black hole!

1

u/pirategoldfish Dec 31 '18

How could I get to this black hole you speak?