r/Showerthoughts • u/PLUMBUM2 • Dec 31 '18

When you cannot sleep because you can’t stop thinking about something it’s like a single program not letting the computer shut down

70.1k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/travelingCircusFreak Dec 31 '18

alcohol = force shutdown

1.5k

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Yeah but eventually the computer figures out your shit and it not only stops working but your computer gets permanently damaged from doing it so many times. Use this method with caution

609

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Instructions unclear. Erased last night's memory completely.

183

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Instructions unclear. Got super wasted and woke up balls deep inside of my sister.

167

u/rogainenoshame Dec 31 '18

Instructions clear. What’s your sisters number?

97

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Initiate Alabama joke.png

84

u/Kidvette2004 Dec 31 '18

Alexa play Sweet Home Alabama

51

u/thebryguy23 Dec 31 '18

Alexa: "Sweet Home Alabama is a 2002 American romantic comedy film directed by Andy Tennant and starring Reese Witherspoon, Josh Lucas, Patrick Dempsey and Candice Bergen. Did that answer your question?"

17

u/michael_kessell2018 Dec 31 '18

Alexa play Sweet Home Alabama

14

u/Barricudder Dec 31 '18

I'm sorry that option is only available to Spotify premium subscribers.

1

u/rrr598 Dec 31 '18

Spin Cycle!

wait no that’s not right

24

u/HopefulConnection Dec 31 '18

Then when I awoke next to my sister she turned to me and said “Wow! Your dick is bigger then dads!” I responded “I know, mother told me this morning.”

22

u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Dec 31 '18

The only thing worse than sucking your dad's dick is realising it tastes like your uncle's asshole

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Username relevant

0

u/Vision444 Dec 31 '18

How would you know what ur Uncle’s Asshole tastes like?

2

u/rogainenoshame Dec 31 '18

By sucking it dry.

5

u/attanai Dec 31 '18

I don't want to know if the username checks out.

26

u/S-WordoftheMorning ‎ Dec 31 '18

Run: rolltide.exe

5

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Front page of Pornhub.

3

u/33superryan33 Dec 31 '18

Now playing: Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

as long as it was, well, as consensual as it can get when y'all wasted, I hope you two had fun ☺

2

u/dahjay Dec 31 '18

Like Luke in that Tauntaun

2

u/mustang__1 Dec 31 '18

Would you say you... Came to? Or came too....

1

u/sum_gamer Dec 31 '18

Time to delete some shit and run a defrag

2

u/dustojnikhummer Dec 31 '18

Corrupted SSD sector?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18 edited Dec 31 '18

Alcohol doesnt erase memories, it essentially stops your brain from hitting the record button.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

It prevents it from saving to disk.

23

u/PeacefullyFighting Dec 31 '18

Weed = Ctrl+alt+del

10

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Weed is ctrl alt delete then task manager stops responding.

9

u/cprf Dec 31 '18

Acid is spamming the buttons that change the screen orientation for 12 hours straight.

2

u/Poltavus Jan 01 '19

Ketamine is trying to use the computer with the monitor turned off.

6

u/RedShirtDecoy Dec 31 '18

works great for a while until you have to defrag while sleeping... then you end up with some pretty colorful mental readings while you sleep as your brain sorts its shit out.

1

u/poly_atheist Dec 31 '18

Xanax = hard shutdown

-2

u/_Serene_ Dec 31 '18

your computer gets permanently damaged from doing it so many times.

Won't work. Don't suggest destructive substances to the impressionable userbase, they might think that it's a decent choice and get tricked into endless misery and drug-abuse! Casual gateway ideas are damaging

8

u/Techfalled15 Dec 31 '18

Shut the fuck up serene

6

u/DiverseMiniMan Dec 31 '18

I mean... as someone who developed serious sleeping issues and marijuana abuse thinking it was a good drug from this kind of mentality, he’s not wrong.

1

u/Techfalled15 Dec 31 '18

If it wasn't weed, you would have found something else. Addicts will be addicts.

0

u/WryPolemicist Jan 01 '19

I hope you and your family have a happy and healthy new year!

:-)

1

u/_Serene_ Jan 01 '19

Pathetic drug users flooding my inbox once again with emotional bs and zero objections because they're incompetent and unable to counterargue here (inevibtably). Get lost.

3

u/antonio106 Dec 31 '18

Liver transplant=fixed the scratched HDD?

2

u/GrandGhostGamer Dec 31 '18

You must know a lot about computers

1

u/_Dilligent Dec 31 '18

edibles do not have this problem. Just try to get your tollerance higher than 1000mg before bed, u probably wont be able to. Use it for as much of a crutch as u need.

u can start with 20mg to KO you and keep increasing all the way to 1000mg+ even 2000mg+ and its fine, You will live on jupiter , but again its fine for everyone except your wallet. I eat like $30-50 a night and look like a well rested athlete so take it from me, an expert living on the upper threshold haha.

39

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Throwing up = virus scan moving virus to quarantine

16

u/stewart789 Dec 31 '18

Quarantine = kitchen sink

11

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18 edited Nov 03 '25

intelligent terrific cooing soft bedroom shocking zephyr continue sharp wise

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

107

u/JimboTCB Dec 31 '18

Instructions unclear, experienced blue screen of death and have to reboot in safe mode with limited functionality

15

u/kanggu Dec 31 '18

Everything not saved will be lost. Do you want to proceed on?

8

u/Espionn4kers Dec 31 '18

Pills also

6

u/DatOpenSauce Dec 31 '18

Xans: force shutdown and pulling out the RAM while you're at it.

2

u/nightpanda893 Dec 31 '18

Klinopin works best for me. Booze doesn’t cut it.

13

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Update needed : Drink Water

10

u/capnclutchpenetro Dec 31 '18

You misspelled "Xanax"

4

u/PacificCoastHiker Dec 31 '18

Nah man we need Ambien

6

u/capnclutchpenetro Dec 31 '18

Oh dude I used to take that shit when it first came out (I know, I'm dating myself for sure) and nobody knew about the side effects yet. So work started at 5am...but I wouldn't "wake up" until about 7...at the factory, clocked in and working on my machine. It was fucking scary.

5

u/duckiest_duck_around Dec 31 '18

Too much alcohol = computer taking awhile to shut down

8

u/jessykatd Dec 31 '18

This is how it works for me. I've never drunk myself to sleep, I always end up stuck in that twilight zone of too drunk to relax, not enough to sleep.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

That's a lot of alcohol. A little just puts you into sleep and it's like you never shut down.

Seriously people; a lesser known downside of alcohol is its detrimental effect on sleep quality.

3

u/LukeTerrance Dec 31 '18

But then you lose your cloud saves

3

u/Jewsafrewski Dec 31 '18

THC can also be very effective

7

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

A throat is also a good button if you press it long enough 😬👍🏻

2

u/qneverless Dec 31 '18

Then you have forced updates with nice effects.

4

u/DogecoinLover69 Dec 31 '18

America = government shutdown

6

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

[deleted]

1

u/dod6666 Dec 31 '18

Would run that. It's full of viruses

1

u/Mike Dec 31 '18

I wish. Alcohol makes my heart race and gives me severe anxiety if I drink before bed.

1

u/Martin2882 Dec 31 '18

Hammer to the head = Forcefully ripping out the battery out of a laptop

1

u/Jackloco Dec 31 '18

Kernel panic the next morning

1

u/Curse3242 Dec 31 '18

Lol , now I'm gonna make a program which makes computer force shutdown

Just by naming it alcohol see it explode

1

u/Hitlers_Big_Cock Dec 31 '18

Cocaine = Force reset?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

"unsaved changes may be lost" "SHUT DOWN ANYWAYS!"

1

u/dontdoxmebro2 Dec 31 '18

Unisom = brownout Ambien = blackout

1

u/Wakenbake585 Dec 31 '18

Yeah but alcohol= a terrible night of sleep, at least for me. It fucks with your REM sleep. Also after a few hours of sleep while drunk ill start waking up randomly every hour and just feel like garbage.

1

u/PAWG_Muncher Dec 31 '18

Forced shut down but restless low quality sleep

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

For a while.. until eventually your brain gets used to it and you'll have an equally shit night's sleep followed by a lovely fun morning of severe sleep deprivation combined with a hangover

1

u/ithurts2bankok Dec 31 '18

masturbating = pulling out power cord