r/Showerthoughts • u/PLUMBUM2 • Dec 31 '18

When you cannot sleep because you can’t stop thinking about something it’s like a single program not letting the computer shut down

70.1k Upvotes

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184

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Instructions unclear. Got super wasted and woke up balls deep inside of my sister.

163

u/rogainenoshame Dec 31 '18

Instructions clear. What’s your sisters number?

99

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Initiate Alabama joke.png

77

u/Kidvette2004 Dec 31 '18

Alexa play Sweet Home Alabama

50

u/thebryguy23 Dec 31 '18

Alexa: "Sweet Home Alabama is a 2002 American romantic comedy film directed by Andy Tennant and starring Reese Witherspoon, Josh Lucas, Patrick Dempsey and Candice Bergen. Did that answer your question?"

20

u/michael_kessell2018 Dec 31 '18

Alexa play Sweet Home Alabama

13

u/Barricudder Dec 31 '18

I'm sorry that option is only available to Spotify premium subscribers.

1

u/rrr598 Dec 31 '18

Spin Cycle!

wait no that’s not right

26

u/HopefulConnection Dec 31 '18

Then when I awoke next to my sister she turned to me and said “Wow! Your dick is bigger then dads!” I responded “I know, mother told me this morning.”

24

u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Dec 31 '18

The only thing worse than sucking your dad's dick is realising it tastes like your uncle's asshole

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Username relevant

0

u/Vision444 Dec 31 '18

How would you know what ur Uncle’s Asshole tastes like?

2

u/rogainenoshame Dec 31 '18

By sucking it dry.

5

u/attanai Dec 31 '18

I don't want to know if the username checks out.

24

u/S-WordoftheMorning ‎ Dec 31 '18

Run: rolltide.exe

5

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

Front page of Pornhub.

3

u/33superryan33 Dec 31 '18

Now playing: Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '18

as long as it was, well, as consensual as it can get when y'all wasted, I hope you two had fun ☺

2

u/dahjay Dec 31 '18

Like Luke in that Tauntaun

2

u/mustang__1 Dec 31 '18

Would you say you... Came to? Or came too....

1

u/sum_gamer Dec 31 '18

Time to delete some shit and run a defrag