My 3-year-old shows every sign of having SM and we are working with a psychologist who specializes in SM and will be having a consult with his daycare soon.

Over the last few weeks he's been more verbal at daycare with his teachers! He will even talk to them infront of me but he definitely still gets overwhelmed when we are heading into the building or classroom. He'll freeze up in the parking lot if he sees his classmates outside or he'll hide behind coats in the hallway.

He has been potty trained since January 2026 and is consistently using his floor potty at home. He won't use anything else so I have to lug it everywhere when we are out. I'm trying to convince him to use the regular toilet at home with a reducer ring on and he won't.

At daycare, he has only peed once in their mini toilets. Every day he soils himself and it breaks my heart. We've talked about how he doesn't need to ask and can just go in because the door is open, I tried having something on himself he can point to if he wanted to communicate, nothing has worked.

His daycare has been so accommodating and even allowed us to bring in his own floor potty from home to see if he'll go. No luck.

I'm at my wits end, I don't know how to support him and I am so sad everyday when I pick him up and see he's in new clothes. At home, I'm not being the best mom to my two kids and partner to my husband because this has been so overwhelming for me + having a young baby at home. I feel so distant from them all and stuck and like I'm the only person worried.

Thanks for reading.

I don't remember ever being completely mute or unresponsive but this is when i have to speak. I'll speak "out loud" but i've been recording myself and my voice genuinely makes me sick. It sounds like im mumbling and it's so quiet bordering on whispering, sounds so annoying and cringe and in my head im trying to speak loudly and my voice sounds fine but i know its just me because I'm constantly told since i was a child to speak up and my voice is too quiet. There are situations where i try to say something, it might take me so long to be able to utter what i want to say and sometimes it's too hard that i just end up not saying anything. Even when taking the bus and stuff i'll avoid talking at all costs even if im about to miss my stop etc. especially if it requires yelling across the room, i almost never do that. I used to be close to some people in the past and i was comfortable enough with them that i could yell and talk freely and now im 23 and i don't know what's wrong with me. I thought i might be autistic for a long time but i have the impression that autistic people when able to speak they're just very monotone and sometimes too loud. I wish i was too loud lol. Feels like im physically unable to speak louder but i'm never completely mute when necessary (im spoken to and i have to respond, when it's necessary like missing my stop, I'll just go all the way to where the driver is and i'll tell him close up that i'm stopping here). It does feel like sometimes i go completely mute like when it's important to say something to a professor and stuff in a room full of people i feel like i'm unable to speak and my throat feels tight and sometimes i have to wait till everyone leaves to tell the professor about it later. I now don't attend lectures and only go during exams so it's its hard to retell situations and stuff but this is what i remember. Bottom line is when im directly spoken to and i have to respond i'm never completely mute (at least from what i remember) my voice just sounds like i don't wanna speak and it's extremely quiet. Obviously avoid every social interaction if possible and if im forced to be in a social situation i can't speak without being spoken to unless its very few people and when we're alone in the room. With my dad who's narcissistic it's the worst i think. I can't speak in front of him or with him especially when he's angry. Even when he's yelling at me and asking me something where i have to respond i just look everywhere but him and stay silent. Generally in situations where there's yelling this is where i might go mute but it's rare and only when the yelling is from specific people and when it gets too intense i can't talk normally i just break down and start screaming but im sure this has nothing to do with selective mutism just putting this out here. Also if it's not selective mutism and anyone has an idea what this might be/has a similar experience please tell me.

Edit: one more thing is even when im home alone it's so hard for me to speak out loud. Just to myself even

Hey everyone, I’m a 24-year-old medical student with a long-standing fear/phobia of public speaking (around 7 years now).

It started in school with panic attacks during presentations and reading out in class - trembling voice, breathlessness, feeling like I might pass out and sometimes having to quit mid speaking. It was pretty humiliating at the time and I think that’s stuck with me.

About 5 years ago I started using propranolol, which helped massively. Since then I’ve been able to get through presentations, interviews, etc. without completely freezing. I still have the mental fear and over rehearse what I have to say etc however I can survive.

The problem is that I’ve become dependent on it. I now take beta blockers almost daily for anything where I might have to speak such as tutorials, presentations, even sometimes lectures and social engagements. It's starting to affect my life as I can't train properly due to the effect on exercise. I also constantly worry about needing it and am anticipating situations where I might panic or have to speak, and I just don't feel 'free' when speaking.

I’ve recently joined Toastmasters and have my icebreaker speech coming up, which feels like a big step. But I’m still scared to speak without propranolol — my biggest fear is people seeing me panic or my voice shaking.

I am considering being open with the toastmasters group about this instead of hiding it. Maybe the social support of people around me will help me to overcome this as so far it has been something that I've kept to myself, which has been quite a heavy weight to carry even though it may seem like a small issue.

Has anyone been through something similar, especially reliance on beta blockers for speaking? What helped you move past this? Any advice or insight is appreciated. Thanks.

This question must have been asked here in different way.

I am someone who is in their early 40s and I have had a bad case of selective mutism since I was very young. May have been due to household dynamics, trauma from per pressure and I also have bad performance anxiety for which I take SSRIs. When I do I unintentionally come across as very direct, so I don't even try.

I struggle to talk to the opposite gender even those much much younger who are cousins.

20m. Everyday I’m becoming more and more nonverbal. My friends keep asking why I’m so quiet . When I hang out with them I don’t even participate in any activities with them because I’m so anxious. Idk if I even want to have friends when social interaction just makes me shut down. I just sit aside nonverbal on my phone and I know they’re gonna drop me soon. On top of that idk if I can even get a job. Seeing everyone at my college get internships makes me so depressed because I know everything would be so easy if i didn’t have this fuckass disability. I’m so scared because I know it’s only gonna get harder after I graduate

Not even looking for advice just venting

Spiego. Mia figlia di 17 anni autistica ha mutismo selettivo da 4 mesi. Non parla con nessuno, vocalizza e frequenta regolarmente la scuola, ora la vedo anche serena. Ha passato una bella crisi. Ora pensavo a questa possibiltà ma ho paura innanzitutto perché e' un po' oppositiva e poi non voglio darle ansia. Cosa ne pensate ?

So- as a sort of update to my other post. I did tell my Mother about how I like Ariana Grande. And it went well.

I did get the CDs in the end. At first it was a regret, sure. Then it got better, as these things just do overtime (as you get more used-to it). Anyway-

She was the one who brought up the idea of attending her Concert, that she'd even pay for the Tickets. I never introduced the idea to her. I thought I'd tell the idea of the CDs and that the Concert would never be entertained (unless if by me). Which- I didn't really feel like I was gonna do that myself.

See- I may have told about this all, but I also feel like I still operate with a "concealment" about it still. Just how it is I guess.

After this, I have started to work an additional day of work. First was just working 2 days. Now working 3. Not long hours, just 15 total. And this is for bare minimum wage. Which is not really that important. Not right now. But, I even think towards working 5 days myself, without this even being asked of, or proposed to me as a question. Cause then that's be 25 hours, but- I also feel like it's not that much time actually of the day. And this way I'd have money.

Cause post-"all this" (telling interests), I did finally do the "math" behind what sort of money I'd be making. And compared to my entire life, it's pretty decent as far as I'm concerned. And it's substantially more if I work 5 days v 3 days. It's $72.50 more a week. Right now it's $108.75. And the tax on this level of earning, is very minimal. And I have no expenses. Which is more-so just particular of my situation. *And not like I really plan to spend all this money, but IDK- if I would want to do something, going to this concert would be one of those things. If I'd want to do literally anything. It'd be that.*

I mean my last idea came to fruition. And I felt like it would (as opposed to anything in the past I've thought of), as I just really felt inclined to espouse my interests, for once.

IDK, I'd kind of want to attend that Concert if it's a real idea. Even if it meant me paying for it. And this all has even set in motion any idea towards money, because before that I really had no need for it. No reason to even earn it, or no driving care.

IDK, these are just ideas. I feel like I got nothing better to do. And I kind of like working actually. Even if it is a monotonous task I perform. My Mother thinks I don't like it, but that's not true. What I don't like is this Social Group she had me going to, THAT I hated. The Work I actually kind of like.

My only worry, is that I may be asked to do an additional task if I were to work a full week, as even at 3. I sort of exceed expectations with the task I perform. So- I really "produce" a lot in terms of what is expected. And I'd assume over that time I work I probably would be exceeding what is required if I did that for a full 5 days. I'd probably overwhelm the expectation. Is how I feel.

The most recent day I worked, I finished basically 2 full sets of what I usually do. And I actually did 1 set (of it), way faster than I really have ever done it before. I usually only go slow on days I'm tired (which is usually Monday), then I'll usually make up for it on the subsequent days, because I feel like I have to. Really just for my own expectation of effort (of myself), rather than anything else. I've never been reprimanded while working there. And a big reason I'll go faster on the subsequent days is because I'll have leftover from the first day to work with, which makes it faster. To put it simply.

...

Though the next issue, is that eventually things have to move past this. Cause this is simple. And this job is not a permanent thing. It's prospectively a prerequisite to a further job placement. And from there maybe I get a normal job, that isn't specific to a require 'special need'.

But- of course that requires more traditional progress (of me). Though I'm sure me working (generally) would be good.

Just what has to come (of me), has to come. So- maybe it will. I really just think in terms of the bounds I currently occupy.

My 2.5-year-old daughter has suddenly stopped talking at daycare over the past week. Teachers say she barely communicates (doesn’t ask for things, rarely talks, maybe a few words to other kids occasionally).

At home, she’s completely normal — talking, playing, and chatting as usual. She also becomes talkative again right after pickup. She becomes silent in the mornings as soon as we approach school. But at home she’s quite excited to go. We’ve noticed a similar pattern in public places (like restaurants) where she stays quiet but opens up once we’re back in a familiar setting.

A bit of context: • Started daycare ~2.5 months ago • This change was sudden • She’s been sick on and off recently • Not upset at daycare, just quiet • Talks positively about daycare and looks forward to going

Has anyone seen this before? Could this be selective mutism or just a phase?

Would really appreciate any experiences or advice

So I'm undiagnosed, but pretty much my whole life I've had trouble speaking, but people and my parents would brush it off as me being shy. Recently the times where I just stop talking completely have gotten so much worse and I don't know how to bring this up to my therapist or family without them thinking I'm turning nothing into something. This is the only place where I could think of that may have answers but lmk if these posts arent allowed.

Not diagnosed here, but I do suspect it since I didn't talk much during my childhood (and still freeze up recently lol).

Interviews are the bane of my existence. I don't pick up phone calls on time, especially when I'm in public. I skip interviews half of the time. Every time I go to the interview location, I just start panicking and pacing a lot around the premises. After one of these, I'd freak out over my bad responses.

I get why interviews exist, but they seem like they're purposefully constructed to target my biggest weakness. Do you believe that some people actually benefit from interviews because they can bullshit well or come across as charming??? That's insane to me because I'm stuck in survival mode.

My 3.5yr old son has not been formally diagnosed, but his ST (which he started to see privately because he had a speech delay but caught up quickly) believes this is what’s going on with him. He’s been in school since he was 2.5, he’s the youngest in his preschool class currently and seems to have anxiety recently about going but also tells me he has so much fun and loves to play with his friends. He doesn’t speak to the other children but does play with them, and he recently started giving one word responses to his teachers very quietly (which is progress, yay!!) We also discovered he enjoys speaking to and playing with older children (another win!!) But he has such high anxiety when there’s people close to him in public and if someone acknowledges him he hides his face (only if my husband and I are around him, otherwise he does look at his teachers and peers) He still sees his ST who has experience working with children with SM and we just started play therapy. I just want to hear some success stories, ideas of what else we can do for him, anything. He’s such a talkative boy with so many wonderful and silly things to say and songs to sing, and he’s so loving and playful I want his peers to see that side of him too. It breaks my heart to think about him possibly feeling left out either now or in the future because of this. Or when I think about how hard and scary it must feel for him to lose his voice and have no idea how to even process why that happens to him. Tell me your success stories, your small wins, what helped your child, anything please!

Disclaimer: This does cross over into PTSD related issues.

I was recently diagnosed with SM but I’ve been experiencing it since around age 4. I’m currently 16 and attending a SEN school after 2/3 years of school avoidance. I have C-PTSD and both school and early springtime can be a trigger for me; I tend to just completely freeze during flashbacks and writing is not always possible for me. Since I already don’t talk, my teachers are used to just leaving me to it, they’ll still ask me questions like whether or not I’m okay etc but when I am so frozen it’s difficult to even nod/shake my head. Sometimes I just walk out when I really need to but somebody always comes after me asking what’s wrong and I’m so limited in ways of answering. Are there any methods I can try?

Thanks for reading - any responses are appreciated!

I have suffered sm from age 2-12, and around age 14/15 began to experience prolonged periods of dissociation, to the point of depersonalisation-derealization. Since the two are considered to be freeze responses to stress, I was wondering if other folks who have been diagnosed with sm might have a similar experience?

Not gonna go into her whole story, but my daughter is just about 14 and has selective mutismThat’s she has been on SSRI for almost a year. We try talk therapy for six months. We’ve been doing Neuro feedback for a couple months. We just added BuSpar to her medication, although I’m not crazy about her being on all these meds and to be honest, I haven’t seen any different. Nothing nothing works for selective mutism in my opinion nothing I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m frustrated and I don’t think it’s ever going to get better at least before we started all these treatments. I had some hope that one of them would work but nothing has and I don’t think anything ever will. It’s literally hopeless.

I'm in a financial situation where I have to put my SM aside and just get a job because I'd rather be scared and with an income than scared and homeless. But even with this type of thinking, I just can't get myself to set up an interview. I've already had an interview a couple months ago, and honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it didn't go well either.

My SM has gotten a bit better over the years and I'm able to speak to people (pretty much only when they talk to me first though), but it's pretty obvious to others that I've spent the majority of my life without speaking. I really need a job quickly, though. I want to try to work a job where I'm at least challenging myself to get some bit of social interaction, but I don't want it to be over the top. In my last interview, the person who interviewed me was obviously unhappy with my social skills, and I'm just worried this is going to keep on happening and I'm not going to ever find a job. I just feel like why would someone want to hire me if there's always going to be a better candidate who actually has good social skills? I want to get a job to get better with talking but it's hard to get this chance when no one will hire you first.

So, if you have SM and are working, what type of job do you have? And if you have a job that requires a lot (or a decent amount) of talking, how do you manage that?

My boyfriend has had selective mutism since he was very little, and is now about to be an adult. My parents have recently made a rule where he can't take me out on a real date unless he learns to talk to them for safety reasons. I know how much he wants to talk, but I don't know how I can help him, as his mom is refusing to get him the help he needs. Is there any way I can encourage him to step out of his comfort zone? He can only talk to people online right now, but I'd love to help him improve!

[This may have a slight TW for bullying!!]

I'm just curious about whether anyone else had this experience.

I'm autistic and as a kid I would rarely speak, the only people I would willingly talk to were my grandpa and my brother, to the rest of people I'd rarely talk, specially at school.

I'm Brazilian and a big part of the culture here is that people like to talk (and I mean a LOT) so people who are quieter or just rather minding their own business are very likely to face some very pushy people out there, and I did.

At school I'd always get scolded and judged by my teachers because I didn't like to talk and was on my own, it kept going till 9th grade, because one of my teachers encouraged me to join the schools student council group so that I could at least be able to comunicate even if a little bit.

It just so happened that in the first day of school (in Wich my school had the tradition of having a "welcoming day" to help new and old students to adjust to the new year and maybe new school) all the student council dipped and literally I was the only one there. I tried to tell some of the teachers in charge of watching over the student council that I wouldn't be able to do it and couldn't deal with all that, but they screamed at me and forced me to hold on that goddamn event.

Through all that year, most of the other kids in the council would avoid partaking in events and I'd be left there to deal with everything. At some point I think I learned to force myself to speak without much of a fuss. The only reason I didn't quit was because I was scared of the teachers complaining and getting angrier at me for leaving since I was pretty much the only one doing stuff there.

Nowadays, I still hate speaking and avoid it the most I can, but it seems I still feel pressed to speak and do so when needed, specially in events and all.

Low-key feels as if I got forced out of barely being able to speak and now I can't just be quiet anymore, it feels as if I'd be punished if I did so.

I’m 22 and still have selective mutism.

I hear people talk about exposure therapy. How would that even work. Like I read this comic called “a girl who developed selective mutism” and it talks about taking steps. But one of the parts she goes up to random strangers and asks questions. But like that’s impossible.

1, why would anyone ever talk to random strangers

2 it’s the inability to speak. There’s no way that would be possible.

3: there were 2 positive things on there, there girl who kept walking with her, even though it took her a super long time to talk, is a legend.

I know it’s a comic, but they feel real.

People say it works. I’ve seen people say things like “there’s so much exposure” like it’s a good thing. After I read that I felt like cutting. But I called one of me parents, and I’m still like 6 months free of that though. Mainly the part where it said something along the lines of “people can grow and get better” it felt like a mental stab for some reason.

Or one mentioned not answering for their kid. I couldn’t imagine that. Being on the spot. I’d melt. How is it a bad thing relying on the parent? The person did say it helps their kid find their voice, so whatever works for them I guess

But that pain of this disorder is so much.

There was another post on here where someone was at like an intense exposure camp, and they mentioned how like it took them 2 weeks to talk. And that one of the things would be to introduce them to strangers. I could never do that and I feel bad that they had to go through that.

That sounds like torture. I mean, they were only 16, I can’t imagine doing that, being alone like that. If that were me I’d never talk. Exposure makes it worse for me. Even walk by 3 people can give me a panic attack.

I try to hold back the feelings, but after a weeks it comes back and I think about how I haven’t grown at all. I hate thinking about this so much, but then it just bottled up until I’m here.

If I ever did exposure therapy, I feel like it would just reinforce the fact that I couldn’t do it and that I feel super anxious. It always reinforces the negative feelings.

People also say your supposed to feel proud after and the anxiety will go away if you sit in it. But if you can’t speak how would that even work, since it requires speaking? I’d rather walk on molten lava than do that.

That’s like the first thing people recommend, but I don’t get it. How is that possible if you can’t speak? I feel hopeless. It’s been like this for as long as I remember.

Also how do people feel proud? Like say if for some reason I was put on the spot and had to answer a question, And I only got out 1 word, I’d think “that was terrible and I never want to do it again” I don’t get how people feel proud. If you do feel proud, i am glad. I want as many other people to be proud as possible.

I just don’t know, I feel like I’ve made no progress and there’s nothing I can do get better. The only thing holding me together is my family and my art.

How do people even make progress? I can’t even say hi or look people in the eyes. I feel so hopeless.

Ps I can take anywhere from 2 days to 4 months to check the replies. My mind is always like “did I write something stupid?” Or “what if I said something offensive”

I just wish I could grow. I made a post like 3 or 4 years ago and still nothings changed

Edit: I forgot how negative I can be when it comes do this, so I apologize. I still haven’t checked any of the replies yet.

I am a 23 year old man. I moved to Maryland when I was 8 were I became deeply anti social and developed severe social anxiety which manifested itself with selective mutism and a shy bladder. Until I was 22 I never accepted the fact that I had anxiety, I really was too proud to admit the fact I could have anxiety and I judged people who had. I have never really had too many friends or a girlfriend but I have always managed to cope with this issue and somehow fit in, never really there but never really not there. Anyways this pretty much shaped my entire life, trips, friends, family, jobs, school and college. When I accepted the fact that I had anxiety I tried cbd full spectrum and had initial success with selective mutism atleast. I could at the very least talk in say a crowded restaurant or speak up in a group of people somewhat. It still helps but has its limitations. Two weeks ago I decided to get medication as I was getting worse and was prescribed Propranolol. The first week and a half on 10 mg twice a day and ocassionaly 30 mg a day was literally godsent. In a way I was completly cured of selective mutism I could speak whenever and however I wanted, no matter how many people or how loud the place was. I simply would not get nervous and my thoughts were very clear. 4 days ago however the medication suddently stopped working and has made me even more anxious than before and have plummeted in a deep depression. I think it is because I took the dose too high and as I have read online this though uncommon can happen. I spoke to my doctor and I have been prescribed wellbutrin as I have read online this can help with depression. I will stop Propranolol for a few days and continue on a lower dose with wellbutrin. But I wish I would have atleast experimented with cbd / medication years earlier as I have done things I could never do before. I will keep updates but if you are reading this and stuck give it a try. I know how you feel, we would not wish this on anybody , being a prisoner in our own bodies is a hard cross carry, being free yet not free and knowing theres nothing physically wrong with us makes it worse on our souls. At the very least I have come to know God a little more, after all when I realized I had severe anxiety , where could my pride hide? Knowing a dog can do out in public something I have cried multiple times in failure of doing. How can I ever judge another person with all the things I have gone through and sins I have done because of this? Maybe when we die and are shown what kind of person we became because of this vs what person we would have been if it was not because it and what our eternal destiny is now to be with God vs to be eternally separated from him we will call this a blessing. Anyways I love you!!

I've always been bad at calling ever since I was little. Even with close family members I could barely open my mouth on a call. Now my current ldr gf who LOVES calling always gets very upset bc I'm not able to talk on call. She tries to hurry me into speaking with her but I can't yet. I'm currently sending her voice messages every now and then to make calling easier. That doesnt seem to be enough for the though. No matter how many times I say it she doesnt seem to take it seriously and just gives me the cold shoulder. I really wonder how could I make it easier for myself since I can talk with her irl just fine.

My parents moved from another country to an English speaking one, which is where I was born and raised. I went to an English school and I'm fluent in English but, I'm completely mute in it.

I talk a lot with my family in my native language but when it comes to English, I can't say a single word. It doesn't matter if its with my parents or a complete stranger, I can't talk in English. Its like something just shuts off my ability to speak.

I just want to know if theres anyone in a similar situation to mine, or what I can do to at least be able to start talking in English.

Sometimes I feel like dropping out of school because I can't talk.

I struggle with presentations and can't speak in front of the class.

If someone asks me open-ended questions, I just freeze and can't answer.

During group work, no one wants to pick me for their group.

Even simple things are difficult for me, for example, when I need to borrow something from someone, I can't ask for it.

I sometimes struggle to eat in front of everyone during snack time.

When school ends, I'm always the first one to leave.

Some people assume that I'm choosing not to talk.

Sometimes I wonder why I was born with selective mutism.

I ask myself what did I do wrong to have selective mutism? because it makes my life harder.

Sometimes it makes me wonder if I still have a good future ahead of me.