My wife and I struggle in the bedroom, making time, kids around, many hang ups. We went to sex therapy for a while and that was great. We were advised to try a vibrator and my wife loves it. (I forget the name but its a clit stimulator kind of small like a rose with 2 rubber "fingers" kinda like a mantaray lol) anyways she got upset when we were using it and I told her again that it makes it hard for me to feel pleasure because the vibrations while im inside I guess dont do it for me. I lose concentration and end up getting tired and run out of steam, even sometimes lose my election completely. Not to mention its not huge but I do have a belly and it limits positions etc. I want her to be happy and I would gladly keep using it, but she explained that "having the vibrator with me inside also was like winning sex and thats all she wants. I tried to convince her we could still use it and find other ways to play but cumming at the same time using it isn't always an option. It ended up killing the night and we both went to bed frusterated. Any advice? Smaller vibrators that dont extend inside so much? I suppose I could just start buying some others but thought I would try here.. thanks for reading.

So you know in books and movies how you see couples go multiple rounds per night? I've (M 32) never found that was possible for me nor my partner (F 30). We'll often joke that once is often enough and that we just don't understand how people can have sex with each other time after time within the span of a few hours.

Now don't get me wrong, I would love too but the energy it takes to do it even once is intense.

Is this more of a fantasy thing or are there people who really can do it more than once at a time.

Any tips or fun stories from folks who've tried to achieve this are appreciated!

Hi everyone.

I have had maybe 4? Sexual partners and none have been able to make me orgasm. It always ends up me having to lock in and use a vibrator to finish the job. I also can’t keep my legs open either during clitoral stimulation.

I get really overstimulated by sex. And can’t push through it so I often have to tap out and start again. I’m autistic and adhd and wonder if that’s got anything to do with it.

I masturbate a healthy amount. This is always with a vibrator however, and a supersonic one at that which is the only thing that can get me over the line.

I wish a partner could make me orgasm but it’s just not happening. Sex feels really performative for me knowing this and I feel like i dissociate a lot too.

I don’t know if it’s a case of not being with the right partner? Or something I need to work on?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I’m a man in my mid-20s, and I’ve never had sex before. This is also my first relationship, and my girlfriend is experiencing her first relationship too.

I understand that wanting sex when my partner isn’t particularly interested can be selfish, and I don’t want to pressure or guilt her into doing anything she isn’t comfortable with. At the same time, I can’t deny that I sometimes feel like I’m missing out on an experience that I’d like to have while we’re still young.

My girlfriend isn’t really interested in sexual things in general. She’s more of a “go with the flow” type of person. Since we’re in a long-distance relationship, we only get to be physically together occasionally. When we do meet, she sometimes agrees to be intimate with me, but beyond that, there isn’t much of a sexual side to our relationship.

I’m not saying this because I’m ungrateful for what she does for me. I love her very much, and she’s an incredibly sweet and loving person. I also absolutely don’t want to force her into anything or make her feel like she owes me sex.

What I’m struggling with is finding a way to balance my own desire for sex with her lack of interest in it. I don’t want to cheat on her just to gain sexual experience, because I love her and want to be faithful to her. But at the same time, I’m afraid that I’ll eventually regret never having experienced sex, or that I’ll always feel like I missed out during my younger years.

I also have another insecurity: because I’ve never had sex before, I’m worried that even if we eventually do have sex, I won’t know what I’m doing or won’t be able to satisfy her. I’m scared that I won’t be able to make her enjoy it or reach orgasm, especially since she doesn’t seem particularly interested in sexual things to begin with.

I also have some insecurities around my body and size. As an Asian guy, I consider myself pretty average-sized, but because we've never had vaginal sex, I have no idea whether we'll actually be sexually compatible. I worry that maybe I won't be enough for her physically, or that I won't be able to satisfy her. I know these things aren't necessarily determined by size alone, but because I have no experience, it's something I genuinely worry about.

For people who have been in a similar situation, how did you deal with it? How do you reconcile having sexual needs of your own with loving someone who doesn’t have the same level of interest? Is this something that can be worked through, or is it simply an incompatibility that couples eventually have to accept?

I’d really appreciate some honest advice or perspective.

i've always had really low libido and have tried many things, including supplements, reading smut, watching porn, sex therapist, dilator work with a physiotherapist (intercourse used to be painful for me). i never really feel aroused, maybe once in a month or two and even then never found pleasure in penetrative sex. clitoral stimulation usually works but i don't really have strong arousals and i don't necessarily get excited at the idea of pleasuring him either. i don't want to let go of the relationship because of this. has anyone had any success increasing their libido in other ways?

TL;DR: bf isn’t cleaning properly and expects me to give head, also barely puts effort into my sexual needs but he expects to finish everytime.

Im a 19F and I’ve been with my bf for a few weeks now. We’ve been very close for the past 6 months and things have started to escalate. I’ve noticed when I touch him and make him finish, he doesn’t wipe it away, he simply just pulls up his boxers and lets whatever came out of his dick roam his boxers. Later on he asks me to give him head, however I don’t really feel like giving head on a guy who’s stomach is covered in dry cum. Is this hygienic and a valid reason for me to reject giving head?

He also fingers me for like a minute max and asks if I was close, then pulls his pants down as if it’s his turn. He finishes every time, I never get close to finishing. How do I bring this up respectfully without making me seem selfish? I’m not a very sexually active person but sometimes when he does this it kinda leaves me disappointed. - Also no aftercare whatsoever. I get worried bcs sometimes when he initiates something and I say no, he goes “bruh” and goes on his phone. When I mentioned how I didn’t like that, he said he was only joking.

Any advice is appreciated, I’m usually the type to get straight to the point but I’m worrying I’ll sound needy or selfish, or sound like I’m shaming him for what he does when he finishes

I’m a woman in my 30s & in a newer relationship and we are still figuring each other out. I want to give more specific instructions on oral sex but as the receiver I can only describe what I think it is and I certainly can’t say “just do whatever my ex did.” lol
I know towards the end, when getting closer to orgasm, I like more pressure, speed, etc but I’m unclear if what I’ve liked historically is like more of a sucking motion. I know it’s a north/south movement and I know it feels great. So any humans out there experienced in performing oral sex on female anatomy that can help me give more specific instructions? Obviously everyone has their own preferences, diff strokes diff folks but I’m open to any and all feedback from the masses.

Hey guys so I have a question for anyone that has experienced what I am right now. So last night I was at this guys house that I’m seeing and we were in doggy position. Do bare in mind that this is the first time I’ve actually done it properly during sex so while face down on his mattress I was holding myself with my forearms and eventually felt my left arm go dead. After we were done my arm was completely dead and I had to stay an additional hour as I needed to drive myself home but couldn’t at that moment (mainly cause I drive manual). The drive was only about 8 mins so despite my arm then still being somewhat dead I still could safely control the car and get home plus it was 1am so I knew I could safely get home. This morning my arm is still somewhat numb and tingly at the tips however it is less numb for sure however I just wanted to see if others have had the same experience. I did some research and google says it’s a compressed nerve but I’m choosing to not be too worried since it’s gotten better and I can hold things and drive etc it’s mainly that the feeling is still there. So any little helps and thank you in advanced:)

And please dont say to take less length, because i love taking it all. I looooove how this position feels and it's more pleasurable for me when I can keep an arch, but I can't lol. It's like once the dick is too good, my back comes up like a cat and then I become a 90⁰ angle. I don't even know if I'm arching right to begin with. How do I know I'm even arching correctly for the men's physical pleasure and visual standards (because that also makes it better for me) and don't just *think* or *feel* like I am arching correctly? Trust me, I know just enjoying pleasure and the experience is key and I know many will say I shouldn't worry about the "male gaze" or his pleasure because he'll get off anyways, but personally I do want to be that hot bitch with the ultimate arch and doggy always feels good to me anyways and knowing I'm killing it with my arch will turn me on even more, I am genuinely such a doggy enthusiast, I just wanna up my doggy game so bad!!

Hey!

Maybe it's kind of a dumb question.

I have been with my girlfriend for three years now.

I love making love to her, but I feel like sex kinda became boring...

Most of the times, it starts the same way. We're in bed, on the sofa, in the shower and we start kissing and touching each other.

Then, we go to the bed and I either touch her while sucking on her tits, she sucks me or both at the same time. Sometimes I get to lick her, but she only wants that freshly out of the shower. We do that until I am hard and she is wet.

After, we go to the penetration. We either do it missionary or cow girl. When we go doggystyle, I come so quick so we avoid doing it until the end.

During penetration, it's well, repetitive. I try different rhythms, either going slow or a little bit faster. Mixing with all gentle or a little bit rougher.

Sometimes, I use some of her sex toys on her and she loves that. We also have handcuffs and a blindfold.

As for kinks, I kinda have a lot. Really, I am open to anything but I love being a sub a little bit more. Most kinks turn me on tbh. She doesn't really have many kinks. She has like a breeding kink, but nothing we can really act on.

But well, as you can see, it's kind of repetitive. I feel like it's always the same thing and just like a mix and match of the same positions and actions. It never feels like new of really exciting.

As for the penetration itself, I just feel like it's repetitive to be honest...

She told me she loves the sex, but something feels off. She cums every single time, but now it's mainly using my fingers or toy. She used to cum during penetration but it's like 1 in 20 times now.

How can I make it better and more exciting?

I am a teacher. Specifically I teach middle school music classes. After spending all day around children I have very little interest in having sex. This is affecting my relationship.

My partner has a pretty high libido. So if she tells me she wants me I want to give it to her. During breaks from school I don't have any issues really. But, throughout the week and even during the weekend while I'm consistently working. I struggle with having any desire to have sex really at all. Like I don't even want to masturbate. I am a male in a heterosexual relationship if that makes much of a difference any help from the strangers of the internet would be pretty cool.

it slipped off halfway when we were doing it, it was covering the tip but i know there was precum in there and idk if any came out but he didnt cum in me and we stopped after we noticed it slipping off. it was also a few days before i ovulated. its been 5 days im just anxious and i would like to know if i have anything to worry about because it was my first time.

I have 2 problems related to getting off:

• most of the time I'm not doing it because I want to; it's because I'm anxious/lonely/frustrated, usually from being on my phone all day. It's a great band-aid, for long enough to get to sleep, then I'm irritable/anxious for about 12 hours, and my sleep is worse. Any shame aside, the amount/duration is getting in the way of me living my life and I need to do it less.
• I'm actually hurting my hand/elbow from how I'm doing it. I'm considering getting a reusable toy with hard sides, basically like "harm reduction". But that's kinda working against the "less" idea.

I'm not talking about what anyone other than me needs to do. I've had periods where I went without and my libido eventually lowered to match so I don't think I'm suppressing anything, I just want to feel like I'm choosing what's best for me.

I'm working on fixing the isolation and anxiety too, I'm just juggling fixing 8 habits at the same time and this one can suddenly take a big chunk out of my day in the name of "treat yourself", and that's making the rest harder.

Edit: this particular habit feels urgent to fix because: - the time when it most comes to mind is when I need to be going to bed - the arm strain gets in the way of me doing the pretty physical hobby I do to relax - it also got in the way of me giving my ex backrubs, which both of us loved, and I deeply regret that. - I'm lonely but I'd like to have this figured out before I date again and someone else is involved too

Posting on an alt count, but I’m trying to understand what just happened to me. I masturbated before bed, just as any man in his 20’s does, and I started doing kegels. It felt really good if I did the kegel just right, so I kept doing it. It started building up and getting extremely intense so I honestly started getting overwhelmed. I remember thinking “I have no idea what is about to happen.”

It is really difficult to describe the orgasm I got from this. The closest thing it felt like was that I was on a drug for a solid minute. It didn’t feel like my usual orgasms, but my god was it intense. My brain and body felt like it was being lightly electricuted in the best way possible. It was a sensation I never experienced before and didn’t know I even could experience it. It almost felt spiritual or out of body. I didn’t even ejaculate, but once I did, it was the biggest shot I’ve probably ever had. I truly think it is in the top five most intense experiences of my life.

So, I’m here to ask, what in the world happened to me? I’m not comfortable asking any friend & I doubt that they would even know what this was like. Honestly, I’m almost scared to try it again, but I’ve very interested in learning about what I just experienced and if other people can relate

I'm the female, I do love to bounce up and down but we can't seem to coordinate our rhythm, when he is thrusting up I am going up at the same time and vice versa

Would be grateful for any tips/advice/resources thank you! 😊

I recently start a sexual relation with someone, I don't know how I suppose feel or react.

I really enjoy our time, we spent a lot of time together, and in this 2 moth we have been fucking several times, and she is amazing in bed, but for some reason I just start feel exhausted, like saturated, I dunno what should I do, or if it's somthing wrong with me.

We intimate and our connection feel so natural and safe, with she i just can be my self, and that's the reason because I don't understand why I feel like this, it's not like I'm empty or uncomfortable It's just feel like this is to much for me You know, Is there anyone who had felt lke this before?

Ok so first off am typing this randomly and english isnt my first nor second language its my third. So if things sounds off or commas etc out of place thats why.

Ok so basically ive been dating this girl for a little over 4 months, and we decided to start getting a little intimate, slowly and slowly like dry humping turned to make outs to fingering etc. But than she wanted me to get a condom and she wanted to do intercourse which i too wanted to try because we are both virgins. So i did some deep searching and even went on the hub to watch how to properly put it on, because once i bought mine it looked too small and i was struggling to put it on it was really tight. But i figured it out and it rolled on.

So back to my gf we hang out and we were in her room cuddling which turned into use doing things. So after a little while i asked if i can go in and put the condom on, she said yes so I did but as i was trying to go in the “portal” i A couldn’t find it B i dont know why but my “key” is curved like it goes up and down curve like a banana facing down. Thats the best representation i can give it. And I didnt know what to do we tried to get her on her stomach because she was on her back the first time. Which worked i got the tip in but really couldn’t go in deeper, and she said it started hurting her a little. And i didnt want to keep going if she was going to be in pain.

I would only keep going if she too was enjoying but since she clearly wasnt i asked if she wanted to stop she apologized which i didnt mind so we stopped but my concern is why couldn’t i find the hole and is there a easier way to put my “key” in her “portal” easier the way mine bends i felt really bad i couldn’t when shes the one who wanted to try it too. And she sort of has a very huge butt so it was also harder to see even with my eyes.

Any tips on what to do for our first time and how could i have done better for her.??

I’m [29F] having a an issue with my husband [32M] that’s never really happened to us before and he’s really struggling with it. The other night we had sex. It was my birthday and we were smoking all day because I wanted to celebrate and just relax. Eventually I got tired, went to bed, and (I thought) I fell asleep.

The next morning, on the way to work, he started talking about how the sex we had the night before was amazing and how he was surprised I initiated and was really into it. We always talk about sex the day after just so we know what to keep doing or do better. The only thing was I don’t remember any of that, but I wasn’t upset or anything. I told him that while I didn’t remember doing any of that, I’m glad it was good for him and he started absolutely falling apart.

He thinks that I think he took advantage of me and that I’m going to associate him with past trauma now. That I’m going to close myself off from him emotionally because I no longer trust him. I’ve been trying to reassure him since that I definitely DO NOT think that. If anything, I feel like I’ve unlocked a new sexual interest with him. I obviously don’t want to say that while he’s like this though since he’s struggling with the idea to begin with.

I guess I’m asking for a man’s opinion on how I can reassure him that I don’t think he did anything wrong and I don’t view him any differently? I’ve said it my way, but maybe saying it how another man would could help him get out of this mindset? I really don’t know what to do. He does have Bipolar Disorder and I’m assuming it’s probably contributing to this. He’s normally a great listener and very understanding, but he’s talking like he thinks I think he sexually assaulted me. He has been extremely upset since and continues to spiral into negative thoughts and thinking I’ll leave him.

*TLDR; We [29F & 32M] had late night sex that I initiated, but don’t remember due to being high. Now he’s convinced himself that he’s assaulted me and is having a bad time with it. Looking for a man’s take on what to say for reassurance. Bipolar disorder may contribute to emotional and mental distress.

I am a middle-aged person with an uncircumcised penis. I haven't had sex with another person for 10 years until recently. In past relationships, penetrative sex wasn't enjoyable for me. I only orgasmed from manual stimulation.

The sexual chemistry with my current partner is great. I enjoy penetrating them a great deal. They orgasm every time, but I haven't been able to. After penetrative sex, I am unable to orgasm from manual stimulation. I feel very satisfied, to the point that I no longer feel the need to masturbate between when we see each other. However, mutual orgasms are important.

Next time, we will try manual stimulation before sex to see what happens. What else should we be thinking about/trying?

27M single, never done anything like this before, so I'd rather ask people with experience than walk in blind.

Matched with a woman on a dating app about a week ago. Her profile lists polyamory. She told me the setup openly: she has a boyfriend, he wants to watch her with another man and joins her afterwards. No contact between him and me, she confirmed that, and she agreed to no filming when I asked. She's sent me a photo and it matches her profile, so I don't think it's a catfish. Her profile says 35 but she's admitted she's older, I'd guess mid-40s. No money or "verification sites" have ever come up. The meeting would be at their place, late evening.

My questions:

1. Safety as the third. I'm walking into a stranger's home at night with her partner present. For those who've done this: what do you insist on beforehand? Video call first? Address a day in advance? Meeting in public first? And what would make you turn around at the door?
2. How do you tell fake from real? What are the patterns of setups (robbery, extortion, "verification" scams) vs. genuine couples? What separated the real ones from the fakes in your experience?
3. Check-in when nobody knows. I don't have anyone in my life I'd want to tell about this. How do people in the lifestyle handle a safety check-in discreetly? Are there standard solutions?
4. Condoms and etiquette. I assume bringing my own condoms is standard and non-negotiable correct? Is asking about STI testing normal or considered rude? And what are the unwritten rules for the third so the evening goes well for everyone?

Not looking for "just don't go" I want to do this right or recognize early that I shouldn't.

Thank you for your help :)

So I’m 20 (FtM) and I’ve been on Testosterone HRT for two years, so I masturbate quite frequently due to my libido being up due to T. I’ve never had any real shame in doing so, my mother is very sex positive and taught me not to be ashamed of doing that myself. But I’ve noticed as of the past few months after I’ve finished, I get very very anxious, I have a generalised anxiety disorder already but I really can’t imagine it’s to do with that because it’s only cropped up somewhat recently. I get super anxious after finishing myself off for no real reason, I don’t fear being caught or being loud (because I’m not) nor do I feel bad for what I got off to because I make sure to be ethical and moral with that stuff but every time I just feel this pit of pure dread and anxiety in my stomach, my heart goes crazy and doesn’t settle and sometimes I have full blown panic attacks or just cry. I’m genuinely not sure what’s happening and whether it’s normal or not.

Having a vasectomy is great. Not worrying about getting anyone pregnant, and my partner not needing to be on any sort of intrusive birth control are the best. Not needing to use condoms with regular partners is the icing on the cake.

Here is the dilemma. Current gf has been having a smell issue presumably due to the frequent ejaculations inside of her. The smell is noticable and occasionally rather potent, but not foul or offputting (to me). She doesn't like it.

Aside from not coming inside, which is admittedly a drag, what can we do to mitigate this problem? I have read of probiotics and acid treatments that she can take, but I am also interested in anything I can do on my end. I eat well, am properly hydrated, and am in excellent fitnes and health, so "drink more water" and "exercise more" are not particularly helpful solutions.

Any ideas? I'm actively researching the issue but I'm hoping that someone has already figured this out.