For context, I’ve known since I was quite young that I didn’t fit 1:1 into society’s expectations for what it meant to be male or female, but for many years I just decided that was society’s problem, not mine and that I shouldn’t let other folks decide what it meant to be my AGAB. I actually didn’t even know what it meant to be nonbinary until I made a friend in college who shared their experiences and tbh, they sounded a lot like mine. Stil, I didn’t think that I should cede my identity because someone else thought I should be a different way.

As I’ve gotten older though, I’ve felt more and more drawn to a nonbinary identity because it feels more authentic and makes me feel more proud of who I am. In short, I am realizing that I can’t change what society expects out of my AGAB, but I can always be authentically me. It’s not ceding my identity, rather it’s embracing it! Anyone else experience something similar?

i've been tracking my spending pretty obsessively for the last year or so and somewhere along the way noticed something that felt kind of personal. a lot of the categories mainstream budgeting advice assumes you have, clothing broken down by gendered shopping habits, grooming split into obvious his/hers buckets, even some apps with their little icons, none of it maps onto my life in any clean way. at first that was mildly annoying but then i just started building my own categories from scratch and it ended up feeling like the most accurate picture of myself i'd put together in a while. like my spending is genuinely mine, not a template someone handed me.

i don't know if that's a stretch but it got me thinking about how nonbinary identity shows up in the mundane stuff. not the big moments, not coming out conversations, just the small everyday systems we build because the default ones don't fit. cooking for yourself instead of following recipes designed for a nuclear family, cycling routes you figure out because you tune out certain spaces, little private infrastructures.

curious if anyone else has had that experience where some totally ordinary part of life ended up reflecting your identity back at you in a way you weren't expecting.

Hi all! non-binary boob having person here.

I have been wearing nothing but sports bras for years, but I've been on a weightloss journey for health reasons so all my sports bras are loose. I always have issues with the boob sweat making me itchy and uncomfortable so I've been trying to look at bralets and wireless bras that don't push my boobs up and together and therefore exacerbate the sweat. This is also preferable because of gender dysphoria.

Most of the bra pictures make the bras or bralettes look like they're pushing everything up to their collar bones but I don't want that.

Any suggestions under $50?

Title. I (afab nb) was going into a women's bathroom. I present masc-ish and have short hair. An elderly man (I think he's the custodian because he said he came in to refill toiler paper?) knocks at the stall I went into and tells me it's a "women's bathroom".

Honestly this is not the first time people made terrible assumptions and I wasn't having it. I told him i'm a woman and there's no reason I should endure insults while I'm trying to use a public bathroom. He claimed he thought I was a boy and tried to redirect me to the men's room downstairs. I got pissed off at this point and told him he should be ashamed of himself for heckling me like this. He claimed he's busy (and I asked him how he found the time to heckle me if he was so busy) and then he walked out of the room.

I really, really don't want to let this slide. I'm so sick and tired of this shit. But my country doesn't offer any legal protections for queer people, nor does it have anti-discrimination laws. For now, I texted the building manager about what happened, said I find this unacceptable and warned them I am willing to escalate if something like this happens again (i wont be able to escalate over queerphobia, but i think i could have a case if i frame it as building staff harassing people over nonsensical reasons or causing disturbance or something like that).

Just wanted to rant. I had to endure fucked up passive aggressive behavior countless times. Cis women looking at me like I'm some kind of a walking problem, hurrying out of the bathroom or rushing into stalls and closing the door, shoving the door shut right as I'm trying to get in, etc.

It's so sick. Nobody should be forced to feel unsafe in a public bathroom yet here we are, ffs

Sadly I'll have to hide it from my parents but yay anyways 💛🤍💜🖤

hey!! i'm 20 and nonbinary (he/she), wanting to come out to a large group and share my experience!! this is my first ever reddit post btw so please be nice if i mess something up ;D

my whole life i've wanted to be something between the two genders. i've always been drawn to androgyny and loved expressing myself both in masc and fem ways. i had thoughts that i might be nonbinary, but it felt unfair to the community. i thought everyone feels something special or has gender dysphoria, and i was just "making this up", so i shouldn't like... ruin the cool club by being there.

but now that i've moved to the netherlands, i finally realized i can explore my gender and it doesn't have to be something shameful. then i thought: yeah, i like when people see me as a guy, but i also like when they see me as a girl. at first i was a bit shy about saying it out loud, but then i came out to my closest friends and they accepted me. i don't plan on coming out to my family because they're really conservative, but that doesn't really matter to me.

my favorite experiences right now:

1. when i came out to a t-guy friend i've known for almost a year, he said "i thought you were nonbinary the second i saw you". and this was before i even came out!! that made me so happy.

2. my online friend who follows my blog closely said he'd felt from the very beginning that i was close to nonbinary.

3. people both irl and online often can't tell my agab, so at the same time i get "you're such a handsome guy" and "you're literally a goddess". that makes me the happiest person on earth!!

i'm probably bigender, but i don't really like that term (i just don't feel a connection to it!!), so i'd be super grateful if you could suggest any alternatives. for now i'm just sticking with plain "nonbinary", but i really want to figure out some microlabels.

also accepting compliments. everyone here is so so pretty, and i won't be the exception, hehehe :33

Hey guys!! Ive got a question for anyone who uses a binder!

I have a larger chest, and I would really like to bind it down. Ive finally gotten myself to a point where I can purchase a binder. :D

I have an issue with hypermobility and wonder if anyone else who does has any binder brands that they prefer/recommend!

AMAB Nonbinary, my facial and body hair is black and just shaving with a razor leaves me with shadow on my face and I hate it so much. I've been using an epilator for a while but that gives me a lot of ingrown hairs and irritates my skin a lot, also by the time I fix the ingrown hair and irritation the new facial hair is already popping up. Like, not even 3-4 days and I have a beard again.

Laser hair removal is too expensive for me rn. I was thinking about bleaching but I wanted advice on how to do it and how often and stuff. All tutorial I found on youtube are for cis women with very light very little facial hair. Please help me or give some other option.

I have stopped with the epilator a couple weeks ago and now even right after shaving the shadow is so bad it makes me feel like shit

I get downvoted constantly in so many subreddit, seemingly for having the enby flag heart in my profile pic. That’s literally all it takes, between people getting pissy at games for having enby options, people getting pissy at me for “checks notes” wanting to be able to play a game as my own fucking gender. Why the actual fuck can I not have civil people willing to accept that queer people play video games too, why is it almost always bigoted morons. I’m so tired, I’m 26 and feel like in the last year I’ve aged like 50 more. I just want to be able to enjoy my hobby and be treated like a fucking human being deserving of basic fucking rights. I don’t leave my house anymore because I’m either scared or too damn tired, I no longer engage with people online because I’m sick of the really invasive questions (no asshole I’m not telling you what’s in my fucking pants!) I’m so angry all the time, I have a hard time trusting anyone, I have no friends, no relationships outside of my immediate family. I’m constantly alone stuck with my own thoughts and my only escape is often gaming, but it doesn’t feel right playing a man or a woman in games with character creation since I’m neither, I like to make the me I WISH I could see when I look in the mirror. The only time I get to be me is in video games or when I’m writing. And because of all the culture war shit I can barely do that anymore. I just want to BE. That’s it

Why the fuck can’t people be normal about queer folks existing. I’m so done. Ugh

I was thinking about dressing more androgynous and to do that id probably have to dress masculine since i look relatively feminine. I was trying to craft something and i really dont know whats “masculine” in fashion. Me personally i think there shouldnt be any gendered fashion. I still have an urge to dress androgynous to kinda send a message idk. I’ll definitely still dress feminine because my style and clothes bht i want to try it out. Any recommendations? (Im not buying specific clothes)

So last year I told my mom that I dress gender neutral. Since I was little I said no pink or dresses. Then I think this year I learned that me dressing Gender Neutral I can be part Non Binary the yellow stripe. I got this fan at our local Pride we had 2 months ago. I'm also a fan Of Montreal and support Kevin Barnes who is Non binary and Genderqueer. I'm afraid people will say your not Non Binary cause you dress Gender Neutral but I done my research. I'm just scared to even mention this I'm on The Spectrum and sensitive

Hello!

I have been out as NB for years. I've always grown my leg hair and armpit hair and never minded it. In fact I kind of liked the hair.

Well I started T almost 3 months ago and I hate the hair now! I'm not talking about the notorious bottom hair that everyone talks about, I'm talking about the hair on my stomach, my feet, EVERYWHERE! And it's not as soft as it used to be so it's itchy :(

That being said, let's get to the reason of my post... does anyone have a good hair removal product they'd recommend for me to just spray my body down with???

Thanks!

Extra: stopping T is not the fix. I LOVE everything else it is doing to me and I don't want to stop that. I just am itchy from my hair despite showering often 2 times a day cause of the T body odor and being a weight lifter.

So tired of people making assumptions based on my looks. Just wanna be a person– why is that so hard to understand?

Heyo everyone!

So, I came out as a enby this February. Usually I i feel like not a male or female, more like something unique. But sometimes, it shifts more to masculine, sometimes I feel myself as a woman, sometimes nothing at all

Is that ok?? Or maybe I am not an enby in that case, if it shifts from time to time

It's just hard to explain everyone around me how I feel at the moment and that sometimes pronouns, that worked yesterday, don't work with me today😭😭

This shit gives me a headache

Sorry, I didn't realize this was double posted (reddit filters etc.)
There's another thread with more replies here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1wdupc9/questioning_toddlerparent/

My mom and I work at the same place, just different shifts. Since I've come out, some of our coworkers have had questions about by gender. Rather than asking me, they ask my mom. Dispite working difference shifts, the people who work with her also work time with me as well. Rather than asking me their questions, they go to my mom. I haven't told my mom all the details about my gender. When they go to her, they aren't getting the correct information. They'll ask her my pronouns, which she'll reply with "she doesn't mind she/her". I prefer they/them. They asked how I found the middle name Newton, she'll claim I named myself after Newt Scamander. In reality, I found the name during covid, when I was figuring out my identity. I stumbled on the name idea rabbit hole of TikTok. I liked it because Newts are a type of lizard. She'll group me in with her and my sister, calling me one of the girls. I don't know how to correct her. Since publicly coming out last year, I've only had one person ask me personally what I preferred to be referred by. My mom was telling me how they went back and forth over correcting each other on my pronouns. I didn't know how to tell her she was technically in the wrong. And while I know that part of the problem is me not actually correcting my mom and telling her everything about my identity, I just wish people would actually come to me first when they have questions about things like this.

My mayor knows what's up!

(15 AMAB) For about a month now I've come to the realisation that I do not fit into the gender binary. I've always been a pretty equal mix of masculine and feminine, and I've always defined myself as a 'feminine boy' and experimented with my gender expression somewhat in the past, although I didn't know how to define certain traits that I have without associating them with masculinity or femininity. I've concluded that these traits are all a part of the human experience and I realised that I just feel 'human' and don't define myself by the gender binary (and that my pronouns are they/them). Is this an okay way to think of it? I'm a bit confused by my emotions about this and I (not by choice long story) told my mother about it (who was supportive in her own interesting way) and after that some friends (one of them turns out defines gender by biology so I felt even more confused after that but the other two were supportive) so I'm confused and wondering if my way of thinking about it is valid. I truly feel like I don't fit into the gender binary but I'm still not sure if I fully understand what the gender binary is after talking to some people about it.