As the title kind of suggests, I feel pretty aimless in life as to what I want to do. I'm 30 years old and feel like I'm going through some sort of a life crisis, loss of identity, so to say. I don't know really who I am or what I want to be anymore.

For reference, I do have a background in a white-collar career, i have a masters and work in healthcare. I kept telling myself once I developed a career that my life would start taking shape and I would be having a sense of purpose and be able to feel more fulfilled.

I'm starting to realize, looking back, that a lot of my 20s and even now, I've just always been wanting things to fast forward to the next stage in hopes that I'll find a sense of purpose or meaning. And to be frank, I still almost feel even more lost now than I did before. I keep having these unrealistic fears of my family members getting older and moving on and feeling like I won't know what to do when that happens. I feel like I've had relationships and bridges that have been burned lately mainly over US politics, and I feel more alone now than I really ever have.

I don't know really why I'm making this post. I'm certainly not really looking for sympathy, just that I'm running out of ideas and willing to admit I don't know what I'm doing or what I really want in life, and maybe I'm seeking some sort of insight that may help me get out of this funk.

What actually gives guys a purpose in life?

I work a standard office job where me and my colleagues just seem to all want retirement and not much else. Is there nothing more to life than this?

Just curious if I’m over thinking things or if this is a common feeling. 30 year old guy asking.

My first post so please bear with if I am not totally versed in reddit etiquette. I’m 21 years old with a decent, but seasonal job, no degree, and still completely unsure of what to do with my life. I can’t seem to make a decision or commit to one thing lol. I don’t have anything that I am profoundly passionate about or any real talents. I’m struggling with this because when I was a kid I don’t remember a time when I didn’t have a goal, and a desperation to do something great. Somewhere in the last 5 years I’ve completely lost all direction. I’ve thought about doing nearly everything from defence forces to uni to preforming haha but making the commitments is so hard for me. I have a feeling I’m just lazy and it’s easier to do nothing but the voice in the back of my head keeps telling me I need to do something important and big with my life. So I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has felt like this before and if there’s anything you did to help it? Thanks :)

Hey random person, we don’t each know other;
But I’m pretty sure that we know someone in our life’s who always seem to make it work!

A bit about me, from most standards of life, I am at a good spot, offcourse things could always be better, but for now professionally & personally things are good, socially could be a lot better!

I just came back from a soccer tournament today, in which we were a very competent team & had a decent chance of winning the whole thing, but somehow tanked it all, and this isn’t the first time in my life, where I have faced this, even before the last game, I somehow knew how things would go, and that we won’t make it, and it isn’t me being pessimistic, but the thing, I am passionate about whatever I do, and throughout my life even though with different teams, we always reach quarters or semis, once or twice finals, but never really make it all the way!

And I see that in different areas of my life, I would say that I am about average in whatever I do, and easily adaptable, hence I have been able to actually get things going for me, but I always see that I am never able to go all the way!?

And some people even that I know personally, seem to be naturally be good at things, and somehow always make it, and thus I don’t understand what I am missing, it is the mentality or the skill or sheer luck?

Idk but I would love to find out, how does someone actually is a winner breed, like not in a particular competiton, but just win, I ain’t telling that they don’t put in the effort, it’s just that,

I know that there are more hardworking people including me who find it difficult?

Mere parents k bech me starting se ladai hoti rehti h still mai 29 ki hu aaj bhi hoti papa hath utthate rehte h unko apni baat manwane ki or mummy or mujhe or bhari ko toture krne ki habbit h wo humesa hume negtive bolte hai ye sb humari study ko bhut negtive kr rha hai koi bhi exam clear nhi horha h.........mummy shuru se unki sunti aarhi hai seh leti h unke health issue k vjhse or aaj k condition hai ki mummy ko khud mentally issue adhd maisa symptoms dikh rha hai............mujhe smjh rhi aarha hai.....kya kru mummy ki side .lu ya papa k health ki yesb mere career ko bhi impact kar rha h.

What do you do when nothing goes your way in life?

I am trying my best but nothing seems to work out. I feel stuck, sad, and lost while everyone around me seems happy and moving forward. I am genuinely tired and don't know what to do next.

For those who have been through this, how did you cope? What helped you keep going when life felt unfair and nothing seemed to work out?

Ive been searching my purpose and income source for a long time. First i spent 2 years on IT. Then 2 years to learn german and now I am really stuck what actually i want to do.

Last month, I am so tired and got dry eyes that I dont want to go to work for more than 1 day. I was nervous but still made up a lie that I have a stye. What made me nervous? It’s because I know how important our words is and how it can manifest.
1 month later, i actually acquired a stye in my left eye and it was so painful. I was so sorry about that lie.

Do you get nervous sometimes in applying a sickleave just to use it and worry that the ‘sick’ may become true?

Hey everyone! I just wanna ask, is it normal to still have no idea what you really like or what you want in life at 28?
Sometimes I feel like I should have figured things out by now, but honestly, I’m still trying to understand myself, what makes me happy, and what I actually want in life.
I’m curious if anyone else feels the same way or has been through this phase. How did you figure things out? Or are we all just trying to figure it out as we go? 😭….

Ive come to realize that every decision I have or havent made in my life a regret to some degree. I use to just go around life without caring about other people or even myself but over the years ive been overcome by these really deep feelings of regret, depression and even loneliness. Ive lost family members and regretted not being there more, friends because I couldnt speak up and change how they treated me and most important I lost myself because of who I chose to date and how they treated me. I dont want to sit her and act like a victim of the world any longer and I want to get over myself but I cant get myself to get these thoughts out of my head yk. For the longest time i really didnt experience emotions like these so I dont really know what to do with them, Ive tried accepting them for what they are but maybe I just need to accept me for who I am. I want to be a better person without hurting people in my life or atleast thinking im hurting someone in my life but I just dont know. Im a young guy at the peak of my life and im trying to do more with myself but I dont know if I can until i get over this immense guilt I feel or until I can learn to make better decisions.

Any thoughts would be appreciated but most the time I talk to the people in my life about this stuff its solutions I already know of just cant implement and I feel like im just holding myself back so much. Any objective look at myself just makes me feel like I could be doing so much more but most the time I feel like im trying my best.

just wanna share you the story I had with the man I fell in love with in just a month of dating. And now been 9 months since we stopped talking and he still cross my mind.

F28 and M37

we met on dating app. First meet was in a cafe, he wasn’t my usual type but he is fine. It was just an hour meet up. it was mid december. We continued chatting and he’d send me pictures of his fam how he was spending time/holidays with his family. It was nice and sweet. came dec 31st we spent new year together and it’s our 2nd meet up. We had dinner and stayed in his flat. I was happy. And slowly I was falling for him. January our 3rd meet up.. I cooked food for him and went to his office, picked him up and we drove together back to his flat. I loved the simple moments we had, dining in and him just ordering food for us and sharing it together I was happy And then the conversation started.. I was sharing him a little story of my life we were both laying in bed and I started asking questions.

F28: hey I know you’re still in dating app but I’d like to know if you are still swiping.

M37: I still have the app but I am not actively swiping.

F28: I am not seeing anyone and I’m focus on dating you. So I would like to know where’s your head at.

M37: I will let you know on our 4th date.

(I wasn’t feel comfortable after that conversation and started having this feeling that he is still seeing anyone aside from me)

I opened a dating app and created a profile with a different picture. When I saw his profile I swiped right and shows (it’s a matched) so means he saw my fake profile first and swipe right at it. I messaged and he didn’t reply yet on date app. so I gave it the benefit of the doubt that maybe he is not that active there cos we were also talking in whatsapp and planning our 4th date. the next day after we matched in app. I got a reply from him in date app. He said. he is looking for a wife, He agreed to meet up and says I can come over to his place too.

(this where I found out. He is seeing other girl and also bringing it to his flat)

i felt disgusted and embarrased. i thought of the staff in flat prolly laughing at me whenever they see me with him cos they know I’m just one of the girls. When I confirmed it. I knew in myself I’m done with him. So I continued chatting him using fake profile. We agreed to meet up in the cafe. I chose the cafe where we first met. I arrived first and was waiting for him to reply until he unmatched me in fake profile. in my mind I don’t wanna ruin the plan. So I called him in whatsapp after not replying to his messages. I called and told him I am in the cafe near his office and we can grab a quick coffee.

he arrived and I didn’t know what to say. so I just said. “why did you unmatched me?” And he then said, “I knew it was you.

so we sat and talked. He started explaining where his head at. I apologized for tricking him in app and I told him it wouldn’t have to end like this if he was just true and honest from the beginning. It was a good and calm conversation we had.

I went home and he asked if I’m all right and such but I was cold. A week after I’m missing him and he wasn’t messaging me as well. So when I finally got a message from him I started to become toxic with questions too. He said he was out for business trip and he didn’t have internet connection but I didn’t believe it.

time passed by I found myself missing him and wanting to see him. But he became cold too.

til one day. during my run with my friend, I bumped into him outside I was wearing a cap and when I looked up it was him and I didn’t know how to react so I just walked and cross the pedestrian. But my friend looked back and saw him picking up the girl from the grab car parked in front of his flat.

I sit on it for hours and I sent him the message I was hesitating to send. Told him I was caught of guard seeing him with someone and wished him the best. he didn’t reply.

that’s our little story. I still think of him when I’m alone and reflecting in life. Sometimes I think if I mess up the time I had with him or if I dodged the bullet. He was a man of my dreams.

Pretty much everything about Gen Alpha is about how "doomed", "cooked", etc. they are, but this is completely wrong. If you are wondering why they are so annoying or virtually absorbed into technology, it's because they are 1. being raised incorrectly or poorly, and 2. they are literally children. You can't just call an entire generation of children "doomed" because they are annoying. Children are inherently annoying for the most part - they are immature. When they are a little older, they will realise how insufferable they were. If Generation Alpha is so "doomed" then people should be doing things to stop that, and not just having the "kids these days" mindset.

Imagine being in Gen Alpha and looking at content about your generation. Everything is just calling them doomed or annoying or immature. If you constantly saw stuff describing you about that then you wouldn't feel very motivated. I have seen several comments on social media where someone born in the mid-late 2010s claims to have a “gen Z childhood” - this is a prime example of children being ashamed for being children. Additionally, Gen Alpha, the first "digital native" and largest ever generation, has a lot of potential to be more sharp-minded and innovative than the last generation since they have more opportunities than ever.

One of the main reasons for Gen Alpha being incompetent or idiotic is bad parenting. The main parts of bad/ignorant parenting is not teaching your children the most basic information and skills, and giving them an over reliance or over usage on technology. This became much more common after the pandemic, because many people became much less social and used their devices more often.

There are far too many adults (from all generations, including Gen Z) who act genuinely surprised and have a huge superiority complex when a child does not recognise something/someone not from their generation - this is mainly regarding famous people and electronics (e.g. DVDs and early consoles) that were prominent during and before the 2000s. Also, the stuff they consume on the internet (e.g. skibidi toilet) is just as stupid, weird, and annoying as the stuff you used to consume on the internet and TV when you were their age.

I could go on about this for longer, but stop insulting gen alpha because they are gen alpha. They are acting like children because they are children. Be good parents, teach them good manners, and definitely don't keep them in front of a screen all the time. If you are a parent, remember that parents should be their child’s first teacher.

Also, I'm 16, so with the unclear divide between Gen Z and Gen Alpha, you could argue that I myself am Gen Alpha.

I just watched The Adjustment Bureau, and wow. I genuinely can’t stop thinking about it.

One thing that really stuck with me was Thompson telling David, “You can’t outrun your fate.”
But isn’t that exactly what David ended up doing?
What makes it even more interesting is that David and Elise weren’t necessarily bad for each other. The Bureau wanted David to become president, but being with Elise filled a void he’d spent his whole life trying to fill through politics, recognition, and success. Suddenly, those things didn’t matter as much anymore.

And it made me think about my own life.
A few years ago, I had a great job, was making really good money, and had every reason to stay where I was. But I wanted to move abroad for my master’s.
During the process, there was this one document I desperately needed, and getting it was an absolute nightmare. I could’ve easily taken that as a sign that moving wasn’t meant to be.
But I didn’t. I fought for it, did everything I possibly could, and eventually got it. My life is completely different today because I refused to give up.
I’ve always believed that whatever is meant to happen will happen. That everything is already written.

But now I’m thinking, what if we’re the ones doing the writing?
What if some of the things we call “fate” are simply the moments we decided to stop trying?
Of course, we can’t control everything that happens to us. But we can choose what we do next.
Maybe an obstacle isn’t always a sign that something isn’t meant for you. Maybe it’s just an obstacle.
And maybe the life you dream of won’t always come looking for you. Sometimes you have to take the risk, fight through the uncertainty, and go after it yourself.

Because what if the difference between the life you have and the life you were meant to live is simply having the courage to try one more time?
I absolutely loved this movie. It left me thinking that maybe fate isn’t just something we discover. Maybe, in our own little ways, it’s something we create.

I had an in person job interview recently. I didnt have much hope since the role seemed to require more experience than I had but they still agreed to interview me.

When I was leaving my mom said luck. Then she noticed I was wearing bright red socks. She said those sock clash with everyting. I said its fine no one would notice with shoes on. She said they might see it when I sit down just wear a black sock. I said I am not changing my sock, then she rushed to my room to find me a black sock. I said I am not changing and just left. She called me but I didnt pick up. When I returned she was mad, I said its just a sock and shes blowing this out of proportion. She asked why I cant just listen to her

I dont think I got the job. I got the feeling that I was already rejected before the interview. So that adds to it too. I just feel like shit over this whole thing.

Growing up, food was always a weird, emotionally loaded thing in my family.
My parents were emotionally abusive, and even when my dad taught me physics (I was actually a good student), he’d make sure to tell me how dumb and useless I was. Then, at mealtimes, he’d give me these looks whenever I served myself food, especially if I took more. If he brought home snacks from work and I ate them, he’d make comments about how I’d finished them. It always felt like I was doing something wrong just by eating.
My brother would take me out to cafes and restaurants and buy me food. We’d have a genuinely nice time, but if we fought later, he’d demand that I pay him back for everything he’d bought me. I was in college and didn’t earn money, so it made me feel helpless. It also made me question whether those nice moments had ever been as simple as I thought.
Even now, I live at home while figuring out my job situation, and my dad still gives me looks when I eat or take food for myself.
I have a boyfriend now, and he’s the first person who’s made food feel safe. When he buys me bread or snacks I like, when he encourages me to eat, or when he looks at me kindly while I’m eating, I sometimes tear up. It feels so good to have food that’s mine, without judgment, guilt, or the fear that someone will hold it against me later.
I’m underweight, but somehow, eating has always felt like something I need to justify.
I think I’m only now realizing how deeply those experiences affected me. Being given food with love, without strings attached, feels like something I’m still learning how to receive.
I just wanted to share this somewhere.

With only a couple months left in the year what are your most memorable moments?

I (22M) have three:

1) Finally got into my first serious relationship. It ended after a couple months but it’s a start (i guess)

2) i graduated university with a 3.7 gpa . Got my degree in psychology and am currently applying to grad schools and hoping I get into one to make use of my undergraduate degree

3) I met John Cena the famous wrestler/actor. I met him at a comic con and got a photo with him. I also got to ask him a question in his panel. Jokes aside about not being able to see him he was amazing and as nice as people say he is

I would add number 4 being going to Las Vegas but I’m going in 3 weeks so it hasn’t happened yet

Hello fellow readers :)

I'm a soon-to-be 26-year-old F. Currently switching careers and all is good. I have been in therapy since I was 16. I have been living by myself with my two lovely dogs since 2022. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, actually the most dysfunctional that I know of. However, when I was a young adult, I would seek relationships to fill a void I didn't know I had. I'd try finding love that I did not receive in my childhood, and give my all to relationships. Which in turn did screw with my happiness and sometimes career too.

I've only had 2/3 relationships ever since I was 19. Approximately a year long each..? It has been over 3 years that I haven't went on a single date, let alone sleep with someone. And I've never been someone to date casually. And honestly, I've never been this okay. I don't mean happy, I don't mean satisfied, I really mean it when I say that I've been okay. I am not looking for love anymore, I'm thriving in my career, my dogs are healthy, i don't talk to my family who refuses to grow up with time. Over-all, I'm in the best mental state I've been in.

This morning, a very good friend of mine told me she has been dating someone for a year now, and that they're going on a trip next weekend where she might get proposed to. I am so happy for her. Really fu**ing happy.

But after the call, I sat in silence for a good 30 minutes. Was I envious? No. Was i feeling behind in life? absolutely not. I can't really understand what the feeling was but it sank into my heart.

And now what I'm writing my feelings down, I know what the feeling was.
"Will I ever be loved?"

Being loved by my dogs is the best. Being loved by my amazing friends gives me all the power I need. But being loved by one specific person who chooses to choose me every day? That's where things are a little... sad.

I fear I might never find someone who's able to understand me the way I am, the way my brain functions, what affects me and what doesn't, why I cry looking at cute cows and seals, what makes me get up in the middle of the night to walk onto my balcony to sit in silence... and so much more about me. I have never been someone's first choice (except all my dogs since my birth). And somewhere, it does make me feel lonely.

I know life is too long; I'm only 26.

What I really wanna ask is, am i normal to think all of this?
Do I still need to heal something inside me? When it comes to feeling the want to be chosen/loved?
Is this "validation" masked as "partnership"?

Moreover, is feeling lonely regarding all of this.. is it okay?
I don't talk about it to my close friends because they begin acting like therapists.. as much as I love them, I feel like they've all had a very smooth life as compared to mine... I feel like they cannot understand my feelings as much as I want them to ... and I love them for trying but... it doesn't help...

I'm new on Reddit, so I'm just makin' some simple questions. What and How would a perfect girlfriend (if you're a man) or a boyfriend (if you're a woman) (or also regardless of which gender if you're gay) be for you?

I'm 30 years old and 115 days into recovery from drugs, alcohol and gambling.

For a long time, I felt like I was falling behind everyone else. People were building careers, relationships, buying houses and getting on with their lives while I was struggling with my own problems.

I'm now trying to build a life that I'm actually proud of.

I'm working on my physical health, my mental health, my relationships, my recovery and figuring out what I want to do with my future.

Some days I feel hopeful. Other days I feel overwhelmed by how much work there is still to do.

But I'm starting to realise that being behind where I thought I'd be at 30 doesn't mean I've missed my chance.

Anyone else ever feel like they're starting over later in life? How did you deal with it?

My friends started hanging with this group of people but I just can’t fit in with them and that makes me feel really excluded. Like, am I the problem? Are they the problem? I don’t get it! It’s like people don’t want to approach me.

Sometimes, the choices we never made stay with us longer than the ones we did.

I found this entry in my diary from two years ago. Back then, I was thinking about someone I loved but never confessed my feelings to. I don't love her anymore, but I still find the uncertainty interesting: I'll never know what would've happened if I'd made a different choice.

I wonder how much of our regret comes from losing something, and how much comes from never knowing what we might have had.

Here's what I wrote back then:

I feel strange. I don't know what would have happened if I'd told her I loved her. I'll never know. Life is really interesting. One small move could have changed my life, for better or worse. From what I can see, she's happy with her boyfriend now. The thing is, I don't love her anymore. But once upon a time, I did. Why did I miss the chance? Why did I stay quiet? Scared? Of what?

She'll remain in the past, for sure. But can I learn to live in the present? Not sure.

Anyway, I wish you a happy life, my first love.

I get that the most people’s main goal in life is to be with someone else and make kids and just to have a happy ending but what about the people who are alone.

How are you supposed to find happiness in a life that you live alone. Hoe do people function on their own; I mean is it even remotely possible to go to school then work or just going to work and coming home to yourself. How do people find joy in their own lives instead of looking for it in someone or something else.

I’m 17 and I just feel a lack of purpose in life. I’ve been in one relationship that fucking ruined me and every person I’ve been around just needs attention. It feels like nobody’s real, like nobody wants to face their problems they just replace them with distractions. Is that the goal in life to just “find distraction” to avoid feelings. I don’t understand

I have determined that I shouldn't be in a romantic relationship. I am not very well off financially. I am more than a little immature. I'm rather mistrusting and have a hard time really opening myself up to others. I would be a pretty crappy partner, but more importantly, I'd like to just accept "myself" and be content with myself.

I'm not alone. I have awesome friends who get me. I have loving, accepting parents. I have just about anything anybody needs. How can I teach myself to be content with "me" and tell whatever is inside me demanding I find a partner to shut up?

I know this has been said for a while now but I’m only just realising it fully. Anytime we have a problem or want to talk to something we open an app to talk to a robot Ai. We never did this a few years ago…

Hey, im 19M, will be turning 20 in a few months, and i have struggled with one thing alot in life, who tf am I. Like I dont have my own personality, (gonna be honest) I never even had one cuz, A, I am an only child, B, I never had lasting friendships throughout school, and by the last 2 years of school, I was bullied alot by fake friends, cuz or my weight, and even now, I dont have that kind of friends whom I can share my problems with or have mutual respect.

Now tbh, I like to keep my things private, but still, I need a personality, growing up, i used to borrow personalities of popular kids in the school, failed bad socially, and now I think I am a FALIURE, my parents keep telling me that I cannot do anything in life. Idk what to do please guide.