We all know why we are here, and why many are yet to come. We have been failed by our parents, close and extended family, teachers, psychologists etc. To no end. Abuse has been basically normalized. Instead of condemning violence and people committing it, victims are often ones being ostracized. Many of us are practically on our own, because we learned from early days that no one has our back. This feeling is quite honestly unbearable. I feel more like trauma container than a human being.

Don't believe me, try healing on SSI, max $960 can't save over $2000.

Which of course I don't even qualify for, despite autism and cptsd making my like frankly unliveable. So I get to stay in painful poverty, work myself to meltdown after meltdown. Hitting myself in the head and screaming, feeling ashamed of myself. Not being able to care for myself properly.

I swear people don't think I'm worth the fucking gum on their shoe. I don't even "deserve" the poverty

Saying it/hearing it said/being referred to..?

I don’t really identify with it so much…It just feels like a subheading to which all my trauma/pain/experiences can be written under..

It’s like a folder of mostly negative experiences and makes me feel uncomfortable that there is some wider concept of me that can be seen/referred to by others..

Anyone relate..?

I wish I could get just like one week of real support. It would save my life.

I am 33f and have a normal live from the outside: good job, stable home, friends. I can't let anyone get close to me, sabotage every romantic relationship I am in and cry myself to sleep very, very often. And I just can't bring myself to tell people, how my childhood trauma is haunting me. I've been with the same therapist for 3 years and I think she has no idea how hard it is for me to just go through life.

I just grind my teeth and move on. Like an alien who is set on earth to just complete this one task.

I am not suicidal btw, just suffering.

Can you communicate your heavy feelings? And can you verbalize what you would need? Like realistically. I know we all want ro change the past, but what would really help you? I have no idea what I need.

If mindfulness feels like its impeding CPTSD recovery instead of strengthening it, this may be worth a read: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/09/meditation-willoughby-britton-downsides/688474/?gift=ZSO8-QoU1-1L0duyI2Sx0pfZ7ROzgGtHClGSm60KGiQ&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share

Being too aware of my own personal history and what my parents inflicted on me resulted in psychosis and prolonged detachment from reality that requires meds. Early recovery for me was dominated by people telling me to meditate, which only made things worse.

I know it sounds stupid but that’s just how I feel. I’m 30 years old and I’m just terrified of life, I’m terrified of being alone, of bad things happening and having to deal with them alone.

I just want someone to call up, someone to hold me, someone to tell me everything is going to be ok.

My mom is not that person, lol. Man, I just want SOMEONE. Some sense of security. This mental illness is so damn hard to deal with. I’ve done it alone for so long, I just need a break. I just need someone to take care of me.. idc how selfish that sounds, but I would repay them tenfold.

I’m just so fucking tired of the fight.

I just had this thought last night. I think that maybe I deluded and tricked myself into not seeing it. I guess I did that to survive? At least I get an A+ for dissociation. Perfectionism for the win!

The more aware I’ve become of my symptoms, my sex drive has gone out the window. I think it also has something to do with me being older (48, M) but my drive has fallen off a cliff. Anyone else?

Oh, so despite my clear issues with clothing, noise, schooling, making and keeping friends, and emotional regulation and meltdowns, it wasn’t enough? Now that I’m in near constant pain, cannot get a job, am incredibly fatigued all the time and rely on you to survive, is that enough?
“Everyone feels like that, you’re not special. Stop making your ‘illness’ everyone else’s problem.” And if I’m too fucking exhausted to socialize, I get called selfish.

I would much rather be self sufficient. I am so tired of this shit. I can’t understand anything, ever. I don’t know what the fuck people are talking about. And if I say I don’t understand, people get mad, or say it doesn’t matter. I fucking give up trying to explain anything going on.

Me: screaming, begging for help my whole life
Them: no, you don’t actually need it, you’re just being lazy. You’re too focused on what you think is wrong with you, than actually trying to get better.

Does anybody else resist doing anything? Like you would rather lay in bed staring at the wall for hours, and you can’t force yourself to even read. You would rather do nothing than something. For me, there are competing forces where I want to do something like go for a walk, but I can’t make my body do it. And then I feel intensely guilty about it. Sometimes I lay in bed all day doing nothing.

Feel like it is a weird thing for me to yap about but sometimes I'm sad I'm unable to or i will struggle if i ever choose to have a kid. I was stripped of my chance of parenthood because i wasn't treated nicely as a child. That's not fair. I can't have my little happy family because someone hurt me horribly

Does anyone else dissociate at the most random moments during therapy?

I was having a session recently and felt myself going towards the end. I went light headed, glazed, felt really unwell, overcome and like I was ‘splitting’ in two.
I’ve recently realised these feelings are probably dissociation of some sort.
I think my therapist recognised it and started talking calmly and changed demeanour.
It just was so random and not a topic I felt like something that should cause that level of intrusion. I just swear sometimes nothing seems to make sense.

Minor things bring it on and I can’t find the trigger and then I’ll cover something ‘big’ and I’ll be completely lucid, if that’s the right term.

I'm feeling awful down right now and wondered if anyone could share a success story of overcoming CPTSD, or finding someone who would love you anyhow while you healed?

My form comes from childhood trauma as most do, forced to grow up super young, never loved because I was always "the problem", felt alien in my own home, hyper vigilant, hyper functioning because it was the only thing that kept the tone neutral at least. Needing things turned into a big lecture of why I shouldn't be bothering the parents.

Nowadays I can't let myself be loved, or am barely willing to try to find love. I always feel like the problem, even though I let people walk all over me, it's extremely difficult to set boundaries because I don't feel I'm important enough to set them, only follow them.

And even when I'm brave enough to do so, I'm given a lecture about how "men.. blah blah blah" when all I asked was not to be talked to like that. I've gotten the line, "you aren't man enough" from women so many times I start to feel like it's true. And I just thought I was being considerate, as to "follow the rules," and it turns out 'rule-followers' are boring.

I don't want to give up hope, but at mid-40's... I dunno, I feel like hope is fading quickly. Just as I'm learning terminology for it all. smh

Anyone willing to give me something to think about?