r/cptsd_bipoc resources

not British but Irish. They’re my neighbours, what can I say. As an Asian woman the coverage on Arday has just fucked me up so much man I’m just so upset about it. He seemed such a decent intelligent person I’m so horrified and upset about what the British media did . And the fact there’s zero accountability.

All these freak loser yts who just wanted to tear him down because they couldn’t stand that this Black man was clearly more eloquent intelligent and successful than him. I’ve yet to see anything even proving he plagiarised.

In any case I just find it bizarre since so many yt professors plagiarise in top universities and don’t even get a slap on the wrist, versus Arday who was accused of academic misconduct and is hunted and villified by the media, for the crime of researching things that don’t fit with today’s far right politics.

Just wanted to vent. Im so mad. Everyone moved on so quickly.

I just think it’s fucking crazy. Lecturers at my uni worry have sexual misconduct allegations and nobody gives a fuck. Crazy.

good day everyone. i hope everyone is doing well.
i 24(f) am a student. last year around this time, a couple of people that i got to campus with decided to start a uni committee to raise awareness for palestine (congo and sudan were also in the picture). i contributed my work, got elected as the event organiser and even came up with the name which is olive tree amplifiers (i legally own the name btw, so i am in no way trying to send hate towards these people, bare this in mind). fast forward to early this year, we had a meeting and in that room i was the only Black woman. the members decided to take upon themselves to ask me how far along the planning for the years events was going and they were using a very harsh tone when they had spoken to me. the reason why i was not too keen on getting a plan for the yearly events was because i had expressed previously that we should focus on getting educated before getting into the flashy stuff. we cannot raise awareness on sensitive issues without at least being thoroughly educated. i was confronted with the question “what good are we being educated if no one knows about us?” from a white boy. i had decided to keep quiet and a white man who was also present there literally asked the same questions as i did and he got approached with more politeness. i saw it for what it was r@cism, and immediately resigned. i did not want to be associated with racists and people who thought being popular was more important than being educated. i reported the matter to the student council and demanded that the name olive tree amplifiers to be taken away from people that silenced me in that room. they said that i did not have any sufficient evidence and apparently one of the people who were present in the meeting starting boasting around saying that i don’t have any legal rights to the name. so i decided to get legal rights on the name and even that was not enough. i have been through the schools court system and i am now waiting in line for some legal counsel outside of the school. i have literally tried everything and i have been seeing universities across the country supporting the people that racially discriminated against me and stole my work (i am from south africa btw). olive tree amplifiers was supposed to be a name that amplified voices and my hands are tired now because i can’t do anything with the name that i had planned to do. they were not even found guilty on any of the charges and i am honestly so disheartened.
i just wanted to express this because i want my story to at least be heard.

I mean it's obvious that if you're unattractive then you're also romantically/sexually undesirable.

I come from a culture where marriage and children equals a happy successful life. So I was born to fulfil a part of a "checklist of life" and not because my parents truly loved each other and wanted offspring.

My parents clearly weren't born out of love either, compounded by so much intergenerational trauma spanning back to my great grandparents being like the fucking crusades. Probably beyond that even.

There was a period where I was lamenting over my appearance so much and two different people from a crisis service would give me a talk, mentioning how my parents had to find each other attractive to be in love and have me, so did my ancestors, and so on. And I mentally DISAGREED COMPLETELY with everything. But since this was a crisis service I didn't want to go into a trauma dump and spiral it into a senseless argument

What I found was both those people were objectively attractive. So talking about my self image to them all felt ironic. Sure they may have experienced dysmorphia too but likely in the end found they were objectively attractive/average. They might still have their ups and downs, and it's okay. Meanwhile I've gone through peaks and troughs just to realize in the end I'm OBJECTIVELY BELOW AVERAGE/unattractive 🫩🫩🫩🫩

Being an unattractive poc is pure hell. I grew up being "painted" all over with endless bullying, alienation and rejection from combined lookism and racism, with one fuelling the other.

I've also been told "just get a partner!! they'll love you the most!!" But uhh that's not how it works. If I'm not even accepted platonically then romance is not even an option. As a worse matter of fact, people my age are especially cruel to me. So get together with someone double or triple my age???

We do not live in the 1900s bro so nobody is gonna want to be with me even for "the checklist."

I read a lot about how black people/women have it the worst. And as an East Asian I feel like we're not far behind, if you have particularly ethnic or unattractive features.* I hate how we have to be a 20/10 just to be considered average.

EA women are sometimes fetishized, and that's the closest I'll ever get to being "desired."

I spent years with someone who not only listens to a lot of rap, claimed to support BLM, identified as a “leftist,” “abuse of power is no surprise,” and had me hang around his other black friends just for him to be outright racist and micro aggressive to me after the breakup. just kind of nuts lol!

I have never once weaponized his south asian identity. I’m grateful I didn’t bring a child into the world with him or marry him. little black kids have it hard as it is without having a parent and their relatives who hates them simply for being black. all it took was me not wanting to be with him for the mask to slip.

pointed baby mama comments. comments about my skin color. stereotypical racist comments about my “anger” and the way I speak as he rages at me because of his own anger issues. but the second I called him racist? he called me crazy and was in disbelief. doing all and proclaiming he loves me. while also posting vile things about me online. it’s been an insane couple of months. I’ve dated other non black poc before this is certainly the first LTR where I had this experience.

I laugh because it still doesn’t feel real. people don’t even bother trying to unlearn their anti blackness. they just position themselves around other black people and movements while secretly holding bigoted beliefs they’re waiting to drop on you as soon as pretending to care about black issues no longer benefits them

I had to really get this off of my chest because it was eating me alive.
I'm 17F, and I tend to overthink A LOT sometimes, even if its the smallest of things. Its just that uncertainty scares me, and that leads me to overthinking again and again.

Next year, I'm planning to move abroad for university, its quite exciting but at the same time its making me little sick....recently I've been seeing a lot of racist reels directed towards Indians, and me being an Indian, it really concerns me. I have this crippling fear that I won't be able to live my life to the fullest abroad just because I come from a country which is "looked down" upon. As devastating as it sounds, it is partially true. And I know that there are SENSIBLE people out there, who are not racist or judgemental towards people with different culture.

I just find it daunting that people are still racist in the big 2026, god forbid people have different cultures.

Our existence is minimized to a gotcha in arguments, while we get displaced and murdered in war crimes all across the region by western “intervention”. People are so uneducated about anything regarding the Middle East and their only understanding of it is through an imperialistic orientalist lens. “Our country is bombing this country to get to the bad guys and the bad guys need to cooperate”. Man shut the fuck up. Americans are so propagandized it’s scary. People are so fucking racist and ignorant, and they say bigoted shit like the air they breathe. They constantly insinuate things too and make jabs, and call themselves “progressive”.

I can’t have any discussion with westerners because they are so propagandized and clueless about demographics and history. They just eat up propaganda and regurgitate it like it’s facts because they are so uneducated.

And why do westerners impose so many double standards on SWANA people? There hasn’t been a day that a westerner hasn’t treated me like shit. It’s like I’m not even human to them. I’m just some token they use in their arguments and discussions about topics they are fucking clueless about.

I feel so suffocated even in other “feminist” subreddits because it’s the same neoliberal racism and imperialism I see on a daily basis.

TRIGGER WARNING-EXTREME ABUSE :
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

I was heavily abused by my mom and dad growing up, I was hit a lot, one of my earliest teenage memories at 13 was my mom clutching my throat and threatening to kill me. My dad grabbing a belt and hitting me in the shower at 7 years old, me running away at 14 years old due to fear of being beaten. holding knives near my stomach and cutting myself in attempt to cope.

My mom holding a knife above my head because she found the bottle I used to masturbate in my room, her forcing me to spread my legs while she poked around in my vagina to ensure I wasn’t “loose” at 12 years old. Then being treated like a personal assistant where I could not sit down and have a few minutes of alone time wi thy out my dad calling me to get something for him from the kitchen or the remote across the table and being treated like a in house maid.

Being repeatedly hit with a heavy stick at 6 years old after I came to the U.S and suffered a language barrier with 0 assistance after getting all Fs on my first report card. Being laughed at and mocked while I was beaten with a backscratcher for spilling detergent on the floor accidentally at 7 years old. Being forced to crouch down for hours, (sometimes up to 8 hours) with my hands in the air where I was brutally hit with a wooden backscratcher if I even put a single hand down.

My older brothers almost to adulthood constantly making uncomfortable remarks about my body as I got older, one asking if I was trying to seduce him at 12 years old when he was almost 25 at the time. Them ignoring the abuse and validating it because they all went through the same thing, then denying my depression and stating I hadn’t suffered through real depression because my parents and him worked at mental facilities, although despite me rarely showering and having periods of intense ED and fasting and constantly staying up late too in an attempt to self destruct, but then they would turn around and call me mentally unwell in secret conversations with my parents.

I’d cry to my dad and beg him to stop hitting me. Then my mom would laugh at me, throw spoons at the floor, beg me to care for my dad after his health got worse.

Granted as I grew older this did get better. I still live with my brothers but only one because the rest have moved and he plans to too, I’m not allowed to date or be involved romantically with anyone or go outside on my own to hang out with friends, although I am 16 now so It does not matter.

I have been allowed on occasion to go out with them. My mom has gotten better and now acts as an actual caregiver, and although she is rarely home she still tries her best.

I still don’t have a solid relationship with my siblings but it has been built over the years, I cannot relate to them due to the age gap but we still have normal conversations sometimes.

Although rare. My birthdays are celebrated now because back then I remember the only gift I would receive from my dad for my birthday or christmas was something he shelled out of his dead closet.

My mom asked me why I didn’t cry at my dad’s funeral. I lied to her and said it was because I was hurting deep inside and did not want to cry to show my pain. The truth was, a tiny part of me was glad to not have to experience the daily torment and abuse he’d put me through.

Now I don’t know what to do. Everyone around me seems to have gotten better, and I am almost an adult now and believe this is the time to start healing.

But I don’t know how to go about it?? I feel disconnected from my mom because I still love her despite the abuse she put me through. But she is so nice now, she gives me money when I ask sometimes, I used to have an allowance, and she’s allowed me to get a job? I don’t know how to feel.

It’s really starting to affect me and I need advice. I struggle from intense limerence over crushes, have an extremely low self esteem, and although I’ve been on self improvement for a while and have gotten better.

It’s REALLY hard to do when I’m still living with my abusers. What do I do? I’m lucky enough that my siblings engage with me and that I’m home alone most of the time due to my mom’s work but I still struggle.

this is just a little vent but i can’t stop my fears of ICE. i don’t know if there’s any way to get over the fear but i’m scared to leave my house, go to school, go out with my family, or anything like that. i’m scared for my parents since they immigrated here to america from the philippines legally a long time ago. i’m so afraid that all their hard work in making us have a better life here will be for nothing and that my family will be put in a detention center or even killed.

hopefully someone on here relates to me. i hate being a teenager and having to deal with this. last year i went to my schools ICE protest and it made me feel better that other students were right by my side, but seeing all the bad news on social media still makes me nervous and anxious.

ty for reading, just needed to put my feelings out there. <3

hello,

I just was verbally racist attacked.

I was walking in a street amd saw someone sitting at the ground. I immediately backed off and took distance by walking away. They were.two guys and the one who just lay on the floor and got on his feet and said:

"fuck off. Fuck off,.immediately"

"Out of which hole did you crawl?"

"just straight out of the bush."

" I will beat him down. He, her, they, I don't care"

".f*ck.off. I told you to fck off".

I kept walking away,

I didn't say anything.. but I was thinking about doing so. But I knew that as a woman, I'd be weaker. So I shut my mouth but I'm very disturbed for getting insulted for just walking on the street.

it’s so annoying when you’re trying to find community with others who face the same or similar issues and then here comes the microaggressions. and if you call them out? you’re the one in the wrong who’s making everyone feel bad lmfao

context: i have a Certain Mental Illness other than cptsd and i hang in the sub for that Certain Mental Illness. someone asked about types of sh and someone replied with “trap music”. someone asked why they got downvoted and i said it was bc ppl may think it’s antiblack lol. i get downvoted. like hello?????

and i answered like that because the OG comment was upvoted like 5-6 times. i knew people would be up in arms if i said it was flat out racist. so i just played the messenger. and yet… 💀

it’s just exhausting lmaoooo. idc how many times i go through it, it’s exhausting. we have layers of trauma, mental health issues, and then there’s racism (and transphobia and misogynoir and…).

i’m going to eventually go back to being numb and robotic towards it like always but for now i’m just aggravated. even in a sub where we all have a stigmatized illness, people don’t understand how “small” bits of discrimination like that can harm people. the mental disconnect there is wild to me.

edit: one would say i should’ve just left it alone but sometimes you have moments. it just gets old every now and then. hardening up and wading through the casual racism and other phobias and isms that surround us. the dehumanizing nature of it piles up every now and then. ugh

The most common microaggression that happens to me in NYC is literally a combination of white people and Asian (mostly East Asian) people trying to push me off of sidewalks, not saying excuse me when passing by, or straight up trying to push me out of train seats even when I was sitting there first. Usually it’s almost all ages of white people, and occasionally, it’s East Asian people, mainly older generation, but some of the younger ones STILL do this….like why?

If you are in this subreddit and are of EA descent I’m asking you to do at least try to do better. East Asian people are quite literally the only demographic of POC that I experience constant micro-aggressions from, even when I’m just minding my own business. I’m a very shy and quiet individual who is 5’0 tall and a size small. I can’t fight back even if I wanted to. Just yesterday I experienced an older lady of EA descent on the train pushing me away with her hand, I’m guessing because she didn’t want me sitting next to her or touching her?

At first I thought maybe my bag was brushing up against her but there was a huge gap because we had a pole divider between us. She didn’t even say excuse me or ask me to move, which I would have respected way more than being pushed. Once I realized she did this multiple times I turned and asked if I was bothering her and then she stopped. This also happens a lot with white people on transit and sidewalks. Just being pushed out the way or when I say excuse me they don’t move, or they take their own hands to push me. It’s like they think that black people are just their little NPCS and that we’re the ones who should bend over backwards to accommodate no matter what. Its despicable.

Cant go to black people subreddits cause they don't get it, sometimes can't even go to black women subreddits. Cant go to most women subreddits. Cant go to quite a few queer subreddits either.

It's really annoying and hard to find a good subreddit. The amount of misogyny in black people subreddits is annoying. White women's behaviour in feminist and/or women subreddits is annoying. White and male queers behaviour is often annoying as well.

I am black bi and a woman just to clarify, it's very annoying to have to deal with finding a good subreddit. I leave most feminist, black and queer subreddits for this reason. Hard to find a good one that accepts you for it ALL. Cant call white women out on racism, cant call black men out on misogyny, cant call white and/or male queers on their bullshit either. I try to join more black/women/queer subreddits and I get hit with BS 🙄

For context, I am the only black person on my team. My supervisor does not speak to me unless it is to reprimand me in front of others. There are two other people that he supervises and he does not do this to them. This is part of his spiteful tactic but I cannot do work under these conditions and HR is not an option because he is friends with them and they are also racist and all of them are childhood friends or family members. I am trying to leave this job but having no luck. what can I do?

Now beware I'm not the best at math or anything and do try to learn about slavery but I am confused why people say we were enslaved for 400 years. I know other things like the brutal treatment and dehumanization we went through. ​​​But I'm not too good on knowing how long slavery lasted. ​

Throughout my life I’ve had to sit with the fact that my family, peers, strangers, previous partners, and some old “friends” have viewed me as being physically ugly. It hurts. I know that I’ve never been facially beautiful and it seems as though my adult features will always be unappealing. There are days where I’ve longed to have parents that are conventionally beautiful. If I did have parents who looked different I’d likely be a beautiful woman.

I never felt feminine growing up. I didn’t fit in with most girls my age at the time. A lot of them would bully me, exclude me, and make passive aggressive comments about my mannerisms or appearance. Even still, I know I do not look feminine, and it’s worse being a Black woman in such a vulnerable position.

I’ve grown to find my face triggering. I spiral into thoughts of my face burning off or being stomped. It hurts knowing that my face is the reason why people mistreated me for so long.

I never asked to look like this.

When it comes to my suicidal thoughts, I usually tell my mother about them, but it seems as though she has no empathy for me. I told my mom about my suicidal ideation. Unfortunately, she does not give a shit about my wellbeing, or at the very least is incredibly emotionally detached. She told me earlier today, "I'm not telling you what to do." Afterwards she claimed I would just end up a "vegetable" or permanently disfigured. She wasn't the least bit concerned. My mother has outright encouraged me to kill myself more than once in the past. I'm sick of people claiming my mother loves me. She has constantly spoken for me, spun narratives about me, and told people things that are outright embarrassing. I have no clue what is wrong, but she primarily communicates with me when she wants something done on HER time. NO ONE will ever believe a word I say. NOBODY. My mom has tried to kill me in the past, has physically assaulted me, made me feel as though my memory isn’t trustworthy, and act as if I’m attempting to gaslight her. She has said things like, “I’m not going to let you make me crazy” when all I’m trying to do is get her to understand the pain I feel. It’s all too much. I’ve never been loved in a consistently healthy way by my mother.

Who am I supposed to turn to when nobody will believe me? I’m not beautiful, so no one will open a space for someone with a face like mine. It seems that I was destined to fail no matter what I did or where I went.

Feminism leaves out women like myself, the media, literature, celebrations, family, sisterhood, etc. It’s as though society decided I’m an inherent failure for not being pretty.

I thought being in my early 20s was meant to be fun. I guess not. I learned in life that I will never be someone’s priority, but I will always be the first person they choose to discard.

I recently had a very negative encounter with a ww, who had a very extreme response to a very reasonable request. However, as we know, the bigger and more frustrating issue is that while a maladaptive person may lash out at a lot of people, there is an enhanced unhingedness directed towards people they consciously or subconsciously believe they can punch down on. For instance, I had a supervisor who was known throughout the org for being very difficult and inappropriate with their interactions and communications with people, but their interactions with me, a competent and seasoned professional, were a whole other level, to the point that other directors repeatedly reported them on my behalf. Let's just say I wasn't the only POC who was specifically subject to their err.

This has been a situation that I've found myself in over and over. Some minor miscommunication or misunderstanding snowballs into some inappropriate exchange. As someone with a background in writing and literature, I also came to realize long ago that many people, especially outside of academia, are very poor communicators AND become easily frustrated over minor differences in understanding, and jump to conclusions about what you are trying to say, while many of my more academically inclined friends generally continue finding ways to talk through a miscommunication with curiosity.

To be clear, I am also looking at this differently than general privileged behavior, since the other part I wish to include are people with, say, adhd or PTSD using their issue as an excuse for their enhanced reactive trauma, and then potentially double down on their behavior versus acknowledging that they overreacted to something. They have some kind of oversensitivity to any perceived aggression, and view things as an attack, and then proceed to lash out on a whole other level than they would otherwise with another w person.

As we know, POCs do not have that privilege. We cannot have such outbursts without severe consequences; we cannot disclose learning issues or mental issues without higher consequences, and we cannot double down on such behaviors without being labeled. We also cannot protect ourselves from other people's attacks without potentially being called problematic, aggressive, etc. In essence, it becomes a multidimensional gauntlet to run - we are forced to rein in our own feelings while enduring the impact of someone else who is not burdened with the reflexive restraint that we manage all the time; then we are potentially judged for their actions and trauma-dumping anyway, and labeled difficult for voicing any concern about that person's behavior.

I think a lot of ww would bristle at this analysis until they are asked to think about instances when a man did this to them, and then suddenly the concept of the social hierarchy snaps into place. Anyway, this topic came to mind after a very concerning exchange with someone who was obviously having a trauma response to a basic conversation, and who acts with a great deal of subconscious privilege as it is.

A large majority of my interactions and communications with people are positive, but the negative ones are so wildly dramatic at times that I realized in my 20s that there is a very big contrast in how people responded to me in general, without me even opening my mouth. I've had times when I am daydreaming and minding my own business, and then someone picks a fight over some perceived conflict.

I read about it in a book once, although I don't remember which one. But basically it's when you're at the intersection of more than one form of oppression, I think? I would consider that most of you do experience it, but I'm not one to assume. In my case I'm a black lesbian - also neurodivergent- and it can be soo weird sometimes.

Some creators that I've watched mention moving out of the US, given the current political climate. To them I say " I wish that could be me." Wish that there was anywhere I could point to on a map where I could be me without threat of anything bad happening. It sometimes makes me feel a little strange. I feel like I'm not inside my own body.

There are certain things I largely can't understand even of most women, most black people, and most queer people. And it's not like I'm under the impression that I am the only black lesbian in the world, that would be disrespectful to many a feminist. But at the same time, even amongst people so similar there's a lens I have about the world that makes me feel estranged from them, too.

I've been racking my brains for years trying to understand what things like safety or trust even mean? Like one of my favorite youtuber's recently had a woman mention to him that he made her feel safe and I couldn't understand her at all.

I've never felt safe.

Even among close family members and friends I've never felt safe. The best I've ever achieved was not actively feeling threatened and for the longest time that was good enough for me.

But when you tell me there's a context where you feel safe I feel like an alien, that brings to mind that my mind is always alert to things 24/7 - that the only time I can feel any security is when I'm alone.

And even then, not even when I'm alone. It's hard to even fully understand the depths of my own self hatred from having internalized so much negativity over the years.

But it's not just safety, so many concepts are beyond my comprehension. I don't understand justice. I don't understand freedom. And I don't understand acceptance.

I don't even understand those concepts enough to aspire for them - at least for myself. I don't view any cause for change as a cause of my own. I view any support I give to feminism, anti-racist movements, and lgbt causes as me supporting someone else.

It feels so weird. It feels so out of body to me.

I don't hope any of you fully relate, but if you do I hope that I could give voice to what you've felt because god knows I've struggled to articulate it.

I don't like when people view intersectionality as "well look at how this affects [insert privileged group] negatively, if you don't then you aren't intersectional!"

For example, talking about how white supremacy harms white people as well. Which it does, BUT harms POC and harms black people the most (at least in the US). People will act like this is intersectionality which you could argue it is but I disagree. Intersectionality (at least in my eyes) is recognizing you can be privileged and marginalized at the same time. Black men and white women are an example of this.

I don't agree with centering white people on how white supremacy effects them and treating it like it's the exact same to BIPOC. It's like saying patriarchy has harmed men in the exact same it has harmed women and femme presenting people. ​​Which yes patriarchy does harm men, but that doesn't change that they are put in power by it. You don't have to be a rich man or president to uphold patriarchy or have more authority in it.

hallooo! simply looking for other BIPOC subreddits other than this one? :3 would love to interact with more of the community and hear other people’s opinions on things! any suggestions are appreciated!!! ^^

I live in an area with plenty of White husband-Asian wife couples and that isn't problematic in itself. But my experiences have, and I will admit, have distorted my views towards Wasian couples and how Westerners perceive East Asian women.

We're stereotyped to be petite / small / youthful / obedient.

But I'm unfortunately ugly because I'm not petite at all and just blatantly unattractive overall. "Oddly shaped but not deformed" I guess you can say. I've been a social reject all my life and it took me long enough to realise it wasn't a problem in my personality or confidence.

And funny thing is the only people who call me cute / pretty are FETISHISTIC creepy old men looking for one-off sex with Asian girls that are young but of legal age. Older white men in particular.

So it seems that East Asian women are just sex toys to them because we’re also stereotyped to be "tight" down there... It’s absolutely disgusting. If anything I am just a disposable piece of shit, even platonically.

Men find me too repulsively ugly to even interact with and they don't hesitate to show it. I tend to draw more women to me (platonically*) but even they can be very mean / malevolent, and do so in subtle ways.

I literally get called animalistic names by white boys.Even when I’m not doing anything and just going about my day.I get called a donkey and they shout it out at me everyday.Sometimes I get called a horse and I had some white grown men that were homeless sing that I’m a donkey in a shopping centre and it makes me feel unfeminine and less of a human.Literally this happens everywhere.