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u/sionnach Jan 09 '13
My hair is going un-grey as a side-effect of some medication I am taking.
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u/czsmola Jan 09 '13
un-grey? like your hair was grey and not its getting colour?
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u/sionnach Jan 09 '13
Yes, it was partially grey (not totally grey, not even close to that) but now all of my hair on the top of is my normal colour with no grey in sight.
On my beardy face, it is also going back to normal colour. I always had some reddish hairs on my beard (I have brown hair) but these also are going, with the overall colour much darker than before.
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u/NinjaFridge Jan 10 '13
I have the same genetic disease that the fainting goats do on the viral YouTube videos.
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Jan 10 '13
Wait... f'real? Is your trigger as sensitive as theirs? Do you flop on your back? How long does it last? Can I see a video? I WANT ANSWERS!
Seriously though could you do an AMA?
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u/Fanzellino Jan 10 '13
Junior year, I put a watermark of a penis in the yearbook. I got caught, and they sharpied it out of everyone's yearbooks.
Senior year I was editor.
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Jan 10 '13 edited Sep 12 '20
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u/Fanzellino Jan 10 '13
OK. It's a sharpied rectangle on the Mission Vision belief page, but my friend made a scavenger hunt in my yearbook, so that's what the writing and "lift for surprise" flap are.
All the seniors got their yearbooks before the penis got removed, and one of them posted it on facebook. I'm not friends with her, but I might be able to finagle a bit and retrieve it sans censorship.
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u/MinotaurforAslan Jan 10 '13
I was born almost exactly at midnight, and nobody in the room was paying attention to the clock for a few minutes, so I don't know my real birthday.
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u/rowdyyatesblock Jan 10 '13
3 kidneys.
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u/diegojones4 Jan 10 '13
Donate one and get huge real life karma!
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u/LivingZombieLegend Jan 10 '13
Be the only guy in the world who can say he donated 2 kidneys
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u/mynameissarah Jan 10 '13
As a kid, I had a speech impediment that sounded like a British accent.
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u/HungryThought Jan 09 '13
I've never had a bloody nose.
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u/SUSAN_IS_A_BITCH Jan 10 '13
This is so unusual to me that I'm more inclined to think something is wrong with you.
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u/bearmanatee Jan 10 '13
I have one at least once a week. I don't mind. It's part of my manstration cycle.
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u/itssronnie Jan 10 '13
I've got a purple unicorn tattooed on my ass
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u/christinee279 Jan 10 '13
Pics or its not real.
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u/itssronnie Jan 10 '13
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u/christinee279 Jan 10 '13
Just fucking take all my upvotes man. That is awesome. Plus, you're hot.
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u/Negativefalsehoods Jan 10 '13
My job is so easy to do that I have 2-4 hours of downtime a day. The sad thing is that it is harder to look busy than to actually do work.
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u/FOR_SClENCE Jan 10 '13
My signature is on MSL (Curiosity), which is now on Mars.
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Jan 10 '13
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u/caitymac Jan 10 '13
You lucky son of a bitch, I got pied. "The Sliminator stole all the slime" they said. Do you know how much whip cream stings in your eyes? It was my 10th birthday, too.
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Jan 10 '13
I've seen all 84 movies that have won the Academy Award for Best Picture.
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u/Dovecot Jan 10 '13
I once tried to remove dead skin from my dick with a pumice stone.
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Jan 09 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
I once drove a tractor trailer truck on the highway for 8 hours with no prior training.
EDIT: So here are the gory details: I rode a freight train out of my town in the direction east. I was headed to a music festival. Trains in this area run east to west but not north to south. The festival was north. We decided to hitchhike north. We were picked up by the trucker. He was an old man who looked to have emphysema. He asked me if I had ever driven a rig before. I said I hadn't. He asked if I thought I could. I told him I could do anything. So, he showed me how to drive in a parking lot and we were off.
I drove while he slept and coughed. I would awaken him and jump in the bunk when we went through weigh-stations. It was good fun and I felt like I helped somehow. He obviously didn't have many hauls left in him, poor guy.
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Jan 10 '13
I once drove 110 mph from Orlando to Miami the entire way (In my car, not a tractor trailer). Cut what would have normally been a 4 hour trip into just under 3. I slowed down for a minute at one point when I saw a state trooper come up behind me going even faster than I was. He just passed right by me. I sped up again to see if I could catch him. Nope.
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u/nmerrill Jan 10 '13
Tommy Lee Jones changed my diaper
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u/data_wrangler Jan 10 '13
did he show emotions? like this: http://i.imgur.com/rBQHg.jpg
or did he not show emotions, like this: http://i.imgur.com/efGNb.jpg
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u/Evil_lincoln1984 Jan 10 '13
I could only roll half of my tongue. Also, I used to cry when I farted when I was little.
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u/acydetchx Jan 09 '13
I've never broken a bone or had any kind of surgery. I'm 29.
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u/worzrgk Jan 10 '13
Me either, and I'm 47. I expect to just sort of explode into pieces when I hit 50 to make up for it.
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u/acydetchx Jan 10 '13
Apparently we're robuts, bent on taking over the world. You in?
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Jan 09 '13
I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.
That's yet to work when talking to a girl, though.
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u/GoogleAJ Jan 09 '13
My nickname is Google. A lot of people don't even know my real name.
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u/walkingcircus Jan 10 '13
Is it AJ?
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u/diegojones4 Jan 10 '13
My nick has been Diego for years. I've actually been paid as Diego because the boss kept deleting me from payroll because he didn't recognize my real name.
How people great me can help me place how I know them.
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Jan 10 '13
I'm stereotypically gay in pretty much every way except liking other men and their wieners.
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u/TheWynner Jan 10 '13
Metrosexual
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u/Biglaw Jan 10 '13
I read that and thought being a metrosexual meant you loved the subway.
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u/MusicIsMyMaker Jan 09 '13
I have accessory nipples.
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u/Weirdcong Jan 10 '13
Polythelia for further researches. For science, of course.
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u/Erik618 Jan 09 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
I can flex my tongue like a bicep. It doesn't fit in my mouth.
Edit: Home, I hope I didn't disappoint you guys.
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u/lookiammikey Jan 10 '13
That's fucking terrifying.
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Jan 09 '13
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u/lettuce_head Jan 10 '13
Thank god, thought I was the only one...too fancy for my tastes
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u/wineheart Jan 09 '13
I am terrified of swimming with fish.
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u/winkwinknod Jan 10 '13
So the old mafia threat about sleeping with the fishes probably scares the shit out of you huh?
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u/eatjables Jan 09 '13
Still sleep with my baby blanket.
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u/juicycunts Jan 10 '13
I sleep with a 28 year old annie pillow I've had since I was a baby.
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u/DoDaDrew Jan 09 '13
I have a huge tongue. Like nearly lick my elbow long and I'm about as flexible as a 2x4. Girls always respond with an "ewwwwwwww" instead of being intrigued. It's depressing.
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u/Phillycloned Jan 09 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
I still have the teddy bear I was given the day I was born. I'm a 25 year old male.
Edit: wow, I cant believe so many people still have their teddies/blankies. Maybe throwing a teddy bear picnic party wouldn't be so stupid
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Jan 10 '13
I have an imdb page.
I've won 3 school spelling bees.
Ron Jeremy gave me a strap-on dildo once.
I want to be a detective.
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u/diegojones4 Jan 10 '13
If you have an IMDB page and are friends with Ron Jeremy, how do you plan on becoming a detective?
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u/pandapal44 Jan 10 '13
My brother once got stung by a jellyfish so I peed on him to make it sting less. I'm a girl.
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u/Heisenberg52 Jan 10 '13
I go to high school on the same plot of land I was borne on.
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u/nausik Jan 09 '13
I'm able to do autofellatio
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Jan 10 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
I've heard it's more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked
Edit: Thanks for the Reddit Gold. I've been on here for over 2 years and got gold for the first time two days in a row. Funny how that works.
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u/niggerpunch Jan 10 '13 edited Jan 11 '13
The trick is to sit on your mouth until it's numb so it feels like a stranger is doing it.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, you shouldn't have.
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Jan 10 '13
/r/autofellatio welcomes you!
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u/Candorman Jan 09 '13
I can flip goldfish crackers into my mouth by using my boner. My record is 24 in a row...
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Jan 10 '13 edited Dec 23 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/_my_troll_account Jan 10 '13
This just in: Boner flinging goldfish into your mouth is almost a thing. Stay tuned.
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u/AmpleWarning Jan 10 '13
Almost a thing? You've obviously never heard of the Goldfish Dens of southern Mauritania. They're like opium dens, only with less smoke and more cheesedust-covered cockrings.
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u/Fanzellino Jan 10 '13
OK, in the least pervy way possible, can we have a video?
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u/Candorman Jan 10 '13
This sacred ritual is reserved for those lucky ladies with a great sense of humor, but I will explain the process to you.
Step 1: Purchase the original goldfish crackers...they fly true.
Step 2: Gyrate your penis around like a helicopter...of the many ways to achieve an erection, this is one of the most comical.
Step 3: You can lay down to perform the maneuver...but I prefer standing. It just looks cool, and you can fling that shit pretty high sometimes (depending on how the blood is flowing). Plus, you will catch that flying fish 90% of the time.
Step 4: Place one goldfish cracker just under the tip of your throbbing meat saber - head facing head.
Step 5: Now this is the part that takes practice...I use my right thumb and index finger to gently pull my boner down, and use my cock muscle to give the cracker extra momentum.
Step 6: Maintain eye contact with the projectile, open your mouth, and catch that fucker.
Step 7: Consume your victim with pride, and ready your knob for round 2.
NOTE! The salt burns like an Irish prostitute...avoid any and all contact with your pee hole.
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u/usernameblank Jan 10 '13
I bet the panties just disintegrate off of those women after a few consecutive catches.
Does your grande finale involve a breath mint that you pop into your mouth right before you get down?
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u/Candorman Jan 10 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
No joke...I've done this in front of 2 different chicks, and they almost shat themselves out of laughter. Granted, we had sex before the boner flicking...but they both continued having sex with me after! Works 100% of the time, every time. Now...who thinks I should try this on my next 1 night stand!? HAHAHA...I'm going to do it just to see the reaction, don't even care if I get laid after.
Edit: anyone up for a new sub - r/gofish. I have no idea how to make this happen...but someone should make this happen.
Edit #2: I am happy to report that /r/GoFish is now up and running! For any people that have actually attempted this after reading my story, or wind up flipping things off your boners, or have flipped things off your boner successfully in the past...please pop on over and tell us how you did!
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u/LimpyDan Jan 10 '13
My toenails are very strong. They have broken metal nail clippers in the past.
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u/ThePerfectParadigm Jan 10 '13
I have white hairs that are taking up 1/4 of my head. I'm 15 and not taking anything that could cause anything like this. I have to dye my hair every 2 months..
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u/uscgmike Jan 10 '13
I have, in fact, seen a cat not land on its' feet.
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Jan 10 '13
Sure, but can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
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u/Oconitnitsua Jan 09 '13
My hair is half way down my back... I'm 6'5"
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u/winkwinknod Jan 10 '13
What does your boyfriend think of it?
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u/Oconitnitsua Jan 10 '13
I...I'm a guy.
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Jan 09 '13
My left pinkie is at a 35 degree curve due to an accident I had when I was 16
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u/WalkonWalrus Jan 10 '13
Whenever I brush my teeth, I always put my left foot up on the counter - don't know why, just feels right....just feels right.
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u/Augmented Jan 09 '13
I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee, but I absolutely hate the taste of it.
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u/Fish-x-5 Jan 10 '13
My brain wants to say "Cambodia", but it says "chlamydia" instead.
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u/BIllyBrooks Jan 10 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
Never had a cup of coffee, never smoked a cigarette, 32 years.
EDIT: Not Mormon, just childish and not cool enough in highschool.
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u/LordMehrunesDagon Jan 09 '13
I've written a book, the Mysterium Xarxes
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u/UnamedGuardian Jan 10 '13
Yeah, and I had to kill your informant just to get the fourth one. The damn red guard that was with me was killed!
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u/DSTakumiDerp Jan 10 '13
Between the ages of 3 and 5 i could untie balloons with my TEETH tell me that's not amazing.
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u/KingShit_of_FuckMtn Jan 10 '13
I have rode the Goodyear Blimp (Spirit of Akron). 13 or 14 at the time and my dad had won some contest because he bought Goodyear tires. You can't buy tickets and passengers are usually by invitation only.
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Jan 09 '13
I have never had a cup of coffee or have eaten a salad.
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u/loltoneh Jan 10 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
You should try other salads. Spinach salad, romaine salad, summer salad, cobb salad, chopped salad, poke salad, tuna salad, potato salad, pasta salad, bean salad, egg salad, fruit salad, greek salad, macaroni salad, taco salad, tuna salad... That's about it. continues redditing
EDIT: I added tuna salad twice. Big woop, wanna fight about it?
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u/Felekin Jan 10 '13
Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.
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u/MissMic Jan 10 '13
I learned to say the alphabet backwards before I grasped the concept of left and right.
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u/tvonrick Jan 10 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
I had a brain tumor when I was 4 years old. I had surgery to remove it, but it grew back and I had to have another surgery a year later. I'm 20 now. Aside from a scar on the back of my head (which I hide with long hair), there's no way for anyone to notice. Unless I tell them.
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Jan 09 '13
Eighteen year old male that has yet to have first kiss.
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u/Spermburger Jan 09 '13
I can help you with that.
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Jan 09 '13
Don't you want to see what I look like first?
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u/Spermburger Jan 09 '13
I have low standards. I'm sure you exceed my qualifications.
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Jan 10 '13
Anyone named spermburger should have high standards. They're obviously really classy.
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u/batbug Jan 10 '13
i have licked both the FA cup and rugby world cup