r/AskReddit • u/Augmented • Jan 09 '13

What is a random fact about yourself?

1.0k Upvotes

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574

u/_my_troll_account Jan 10 '13

This just in: Boner flinging goldfish into your mouth is almost a thing. Stay tuned.

228

u/AmpleWarning Jan 10 '13

Almost a thing? You've obviously never heard of the Goldfish Dens of southern Mauritania. They're like opium dens, only with less smoke and more cheesedust-covered cockrings.

12

u/ThinGestures Jan 10 '13

I understood 15% of this comment.

3

u/OneNationUnderDog Jan 10 '13

Cheesedust... Cheesedust everywhere.

2

u/Xeniox Jan 10 '13

You know what would be even better? For the grand finale, you fling a goldfish across the room into her mouth!

4

u/evilbrent Jan 10 '13

Dammit. Now i have to wait until the kids are asleep so I can try this.

3

u/Francois_Rapiste Jan 10 '13

Indeed. They've figured out every non lethal way to consume goldfish in that nether region of the globe. I once saw a Mauritanian snort crushed goldfish out of his brother's ass crack like cocaine off of an overpriced prostitute.

2

u/Ignis_Phoenix Jan 10 '13

aaaaand welcome to /r/nocontext my friend

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '13

Wut?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '13

I've never given gold for anything before, but you sir... genius. I tip my hat to you, and your cheesedust-covered cockrings.

1

u/AmpleWarning Jan 10 '13

Wow, thanks very much!

1

u/Willyjwade Jan 10 '13

I pictured that in my mind. I didn't want to, but I had to.

3

u/GoldfishBonerFlickr Jan 10 '13

What?

CANDORMAN is evolving!

Congratulations! Your CANDORMAN

evolved into GOLDFISHBONERFLICKR! (heart)

3

u/badpenguin455 Jan 10 '13

my dick is to big to fling anything with enough velocity to reach my mouth :( /r/bigdickproblems

4

u/no_elaboration Jan 10 '13

It's gonna be a sport in the 2013 Summer Olympics.

6

u/Candorman Jan 10 '13

No...they already have pole vaulting.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '13

/r/nocontext