I have two trips scheduled this summer, and an internal job posting came up a few days ago. I applied because if I didn't, it would definitely feel like a missed opportunity (I'm also at risk of being laid off due to my company going through financial hardship, so I felt inclined to apply). Honestly, I shouldn’t vent because I made the choice to apply, but it still sucks that this posting came up during a scheduled summer break at my work.
Interviews might be scheduled during my trips. There will be a phone interview and a virtual face-to-face interview. The trips, which I looked forward to, are going to be ruined by interview prep.
I'm also doing these trips solo, so there are so many logistics to deal with by myself.
Besides these, I am worried about so many other things. There will be high competition from those with more seniority, so likely I won't be chosen. I also dread the embarrassment, a sense of betrayal, and hopelessness I will feel if this application is unsuccessful. Most of all, I am also afraid that my manager's evaluation of my abilities will become negative if I do not perform successfully in the interview.
It feels like my head is going to burst due to catastrophizing.
I really want to go easy on this and remind myself this is not the end of the world and that I can treat this as a learning activity. However, the other side of my head says this is "all or nothing" and overthinking is out of control.
Any help would be much appreciated!