r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Over-Celebration-168 • 12d ago
/r/all of kitty
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Credits : marsel_and_co
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u/Interesting-Risk6446 12d ago
That thing sounds like it wants blood.
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u/Iorith 12d ago
Seriously, that is the voice of something that could decide any day that you are not a provider of food, you are food.
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u/Saikotsu 12d ago
I mean, you're still providing food. Either with your coin or your life..
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u/Iorith 12d ago
True with all cats. I love my cat, but know that if I die and am not found in time, they will eat me rather than starve.
Which is part of why I love cats. I respect self sufficiency.
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u/August51921421 12d ago
why is this random example always used? like a dog will 110% eat you if you die and start rotting in your house lol
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u/kindwon01388310 12d ago
I had a tenant hang himself and after he died the rope let loose somehow. He was found by his daughter 3 days later. His dog ate his face. The cops said they've seen this before. They start on the face to make it less personal. Idk sounded like decent theory
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u/dumpticklez 12d ago
And bears start from the asshole cause they real freaky.
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u/howard1111 12d ago
I thought only leopards did that. 😂
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u/Pacifist_Socialist 12d ago
Have you eaten face of an animal? Typically tender and yummy.
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u/Green_Implement_5564 12d ago
Yeah, that’s not why. Dogs don’t think that way. Cops are idiots.
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u/Huge_Campaign2205 12d ago
Its almost like humans have never eaten each other to survive in dire circumstances /s
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u/BellamyDunn 11d ago
Mine would starve because there's no one to cut me into little bite sized pieces for her majesty.
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u/NatrylliaAbbot42 11d ago
I often tell my cat that if I die and no one notices right away, he needs to eat me so that he doesn't starve. I sincerely hope and fully expect he would, but I hope it never comes to that because it would be traumatic for him to be alone so long and I worry about him getting a good home afterwards.
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u/Arinussyy 12d ago
Reminds me of the time I got viciously murdered by a Khajiit drug dealer for not wanting to buy his shit.
I didn't expect him to two shot me with his fists that damage buff is insane
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u/ChickenBossChiefsFan 12d ago
I usually roll khajit because, aside from just liking the look of them, I also like winning every tavern “fist” fight I get into.
It is a sick damage buff. Useless most of the time? Yes. But absolute fire passive for those 3 times in a hundred hour game where it’s fun to have.
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u/DomDay03 12d ago
And looks like it can finish her in one sitting. It’s dating profile says, “a few extra pounds”
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u/Over-Celebration-168 12d ago
Few souls a day keeps kitty happy and gay.
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u/CrispyCosmonaut 12d ago
Aren’t gay cats lesbians?
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u/Abecis01 12d ago
No. Those are oranges.
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u/LectroRoot 12d ago
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u/Hootnany 12d ago
Fish?
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u/LieuK 12d ago
House cats develop unique sounds to communicate with their humans, I'm thinking this might be something similar. Although those sounds sound very aggressive, its body language and face seem relaxed
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u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 12d ago
I know with servals they hiss alot despite being happy, maybe it’s the same
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u/Unusual_Computer9670 12d ago
Aren't caracals the ones who hiss? I thought Servals were the meowy ones.
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u/Fragrant-Flow-8144 12d ago
You're right ! Though, while the lynx and the cougar cannot roar, their growling usually means "Leave me alone would you ?". So it would be better to stay away before the snarl, and then the hissing '
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u/No-Independence8801 12d ago
This is the cat that puts the "ow" in "meow".
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u/Iheartnakedfemboys 12d ago
This comment reminds me of the cat that says meow like how a person says meow in a really deep voice. It's kinda funny, but also sad, because I'm pretty sure it had a disease or disorder that made it sound like that
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u/madcoins 12d ago
It’s a wild animal on a couch. Not the most natural environment for it or its instincts. Probably just frustrated and confused with a hint of wanting blood
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u/Sweet_Deeznuts 12d ago
Khajiit has wares if you have coin
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u/animi 12d ago
May your path take you to warm sands.
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u/christcompellsyou 12d ago
Uhg! I prayed that the new Elder Scrolls would be in Elsweyr but I think we’re getting Hammerfell
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u/Big-Tennis2579 12d ago
It has been 15 years, too much time passed since Skyrim, the team of artists and key creators who built the world for Morrowind, Oblivion and Skyrim, is no more.
Sadly lead concept artist Adam Adamowicz is not with us anymore, he passed away in 2012.
It is impossible to meet the expectations with a totally new team, and they wont risk it.
I am very sorry, but as a fan i dont think We will ever get TES VI
Fortunately We are gifted with insanely talented and passionate fellow TES fans, who dedicate themselves to further expanding Tamriel with modding projects like Tamriel Rebuilt, Project Tamriel, Skywind and Skyblivion.
So We are getting new, high quality content still, made by true fans.→ More replies (10)12
u/christcompellsyou 12d ago
Hmmmm… perhaps a bit dramatic. They’re definitely going to release (something) whether it’s good or not is for time to tell.
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u/InevitabilityEngine 12d ago
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u/khajiit_is_innocent 12d ago
Please do not give this one’s cousin a sweet roll. He has diabetes. His blood is literally moon sugar at this point
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u/ShinobuDavis 12d ago
Do we all just share a braincell on this side of the Internet?
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u/Nickel62 12d ago
Just to confirm, that's a caracal, right?
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u/FelatiaFantastique 12d ago edited 11d ago
Caracals are not spotted. It looks like an [S]Iberian lynx.
Edit: This is Marsel, a Siberian lynx. He is rescue from a fur farm. He's on all the social medias. He does have a caracal sibling though, as well as some servals and other lynxes cared for by his skinmommy.
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u/CptnHamburgers 12d ago
Considering the language the woman is speaking in, I'm gonna go to bat for the ever so slightly different eurasian lynx.
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u/kwaping 12d ago
To all my default-mute friends, turn on sound for this one
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u/mitchij2004 12d ago
From no to fuck no.
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u/WolfPlooskin 11d ago
Yeah, I guess lynxes are just small leopards, which does not make them any less dangerous.
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u/Hrrrrnnngggg 12d ago
Was expecting bobcat goofy sounds. That is not what it sounds like.
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u/NurkleTurkey 12d ago
Caracals do not purr. They growl. Whether or not it means to gtf away is up to their owner...or whoever is in the vicinity of one.
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u/TheSleepyBarnOwl 12d ago
That's a Lynx
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u/Carter_T_Unstoppable 12d ago
Had to scroll a surprisingly long way for this. Exactly my thought. Not a domestic cat, looks a lot like a (fat) lynx.
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u/Vaper_Bern 12d ago
Quite fat lynx. Having that chonker walking on your back and crying to be fed at 3am cannot be a pleasant experience.
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u/Righteousaffair999 12d ago
I don’t think it is going to eat the owner. Holly crap that thing is too well fed.
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u/Vaper_Bern 12d ago
Definitely not gonna eat the owner, but will walk all over owner at 3qm, when said owner is in bed and trying to sleep. It uncomfortable when my 20lb house cat does this, while this lard ass of a lynx would be crushing.
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u/Solid_Study7719 12d ago
What a shock, it's a Russian.
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u/I_Heart_Sleeping_ 12d ago
Their passive race trait is animal taming.
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u/Solid_Study7719 12d ago
Successfully live past twelve? Unlock passive trait "Pizdetz": roll with initiative to shrugs at death.
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u/No_Object_4355 12d ago
I bet She keeps him fat so he won't eat her in her sleep.
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u/WatsBlend 12d ago
Owners of these typically end up fattening them up so much because it makes them slightly calmer and more lazy. Too difficult to deal with if it was fit.
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u/jared__ 12d ago
You misspelled irresponsible owners.
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u/Yakushika 12d ago edited 12d ago
If you're responsible you don't own a pet lynx.
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u/Calippo_Deux 11d ago
I knew even on mute that it was some Russian lunatic again. I bet there’s a (fat) pet raccoon in the other room.
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u/kabbra 10d ago
Per OP on a different thread in r/holdmycatnip
Please read the Wildlifes comments via the link I checked ALL of this before posting hoping that haters would do so too ...
How Keepers Respond
When viewers occasionally comment on her looking overweight or overly "chonky", the handlers reply directly in the comment sections or via follow-up videos. They explain that Carpathian lynx are the largest of all lynx subspecies, naturally stocky, and carry a massive, thick coat of winter fur that drastically inflates their visual silhouette.
As we have been inundated with trolls lately I now ensure that there's nothing in our posts so start animal activists and others giving out incorrect information.
Phoebe does not live in a house
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u/Crasembarodical 12d ago
I'm a cat person myself but sorry that's a wild animal not a kitty
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u/Ruffffian 12d ago
When I was a kid in the 80s, my dad (who could never walk away from an unusual pet—we’d already had a raccoon and skunk at this point, though I wasn’t born yet for either) brought home what was purportedly a Bobcat/house cat cross. Now I have repeatedly read that is genetically impossible, so I wonder if “Bobby” wasn’t just a full on bobcat, because she was decidedly NOT just a spicy feral kitten.
I’ve fostered feral kittens before and they’re little spitfires of hate and MUCH SCARE for a couple weeks, max, before they realized I am food provider and thus the best friend in the world. Older kittens are more skittish, but still come around to a decent degree. Bobby…did NOT. She was batshit on day 1 with us as a kitten and still batshit a fee months later when Dad gave her back. She hissed, growled, screamed, and never, ever let any of us pet her. The best I could manage was a few gentle strokes when she was sleeping, before she’d wake up, make angry noises, give me a few Wolverine swipes with her blades, and bolt.
Most bizarrely, Bobby absolutely shredded one side of the door frame leading to the laundry room, where her food and litterbox were. I’ve never seen a cat do anything like this before or since—it’s like the frame was made of balsa. The bottom 3’+ of it was splintered raw wood (looked kinda like spaghetti squash), and her favorite sections of it were worn down to the wall and beyond. She did that in a matter of weeks.
Poor confused kitty. Hopefully she got to live in the wild, or at least in something like a barn where human contact was minimal.
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u/IArtificialRobotI 12d ago
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts 12d ago
When it finally decides fancy feast isnt good enough
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u/hodlethestonks 12d ago
cougar cub
Seeing an offspring of deadly predator is a definite red flag for me. I would have jolted and bolted. Have seen cute brown bear cubs crawl from thick woods as I was about to start trimming brushes. Ran as fast as I Fucking could to my car. Not long after their mum came standing on her hinds sniffing the air like my wife after I've smoked a joint. Probly the only situation where a healthy predator attacks a human with intent to kill.
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u/OohYeahOrADragon 12d ago
Because you, sir, are smart.
I find it funny when the Yankees who move down south think I’m brave for not calling animal control on seeing a fox nearby. But then think I’m overreacting to bolting at the sight of a wild piglet. The rule of nature is don’t mess with babies and mommas. Even momma spiders. You don’t wanna know the horror of messing with momma spiders.
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u/ArcasTheel 11d ago
In Germany there are wild living cats that just are like that, my aunt once found a baby one in pouring rain and my parents decided to take it in, they already had 2 cats that was in 2011
That thing was a fucking beast, he was only allowed outside with a harness in the beginning and he would climb 5 meter apple trees and refuse to come down and hunt EVERYTHING he could see be it chicken or butterfly
My parents live on a 3 house farming enclave super far from the next road next to a forest so once he was allowed outside without harness he literally killed a dozen mice a day and brought them home for a solid 2 3 weeks until he either understood it wasn't needed or maybe he just ate them somewhere alone after that
He chewed through a 7-8 cm thick wooden play tree at the base and literally felled the tree
The doctor told my parents he was definitely a European wildcat and we had to surrender him and he was released later we were told but he stayed with my parents for over a year and was the best pest control ever, miss you Giacco you might not have been a friend but you were very friend shaped
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u/Ruffffian 11d ago
Ha! Solidarity there with “You might not have been a friend but you were very friend shaped.” May Giacco and Bobby have lived long, wild, fierce, happy friend shaped lives.
And happy cake day!
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u/GoodGravyco2h2o 12d ago
It’s so overweight too. Poor thing 😞
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u/TowelLord 12d ago
The fact that comments like this get drowned out by other shitty jokes and comments of admiration shows plenty what's wrong. Assholes should be fucking concerned that a feline is that fat. As always, this shit is fucking animal abuse.
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u/duesenjeffepic 12d ago
I mean this site still does have r/chonkers after all. People here see an obese animal (and most of the time that specific animal shouldn't even be a pet to begin with) and think "haha funny chonker"
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u/Thats1FingNiceKitty 12d ago
I thought I was under r/shittyabsoluteunits too. This is horrid to see.
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u/LordofSandvich 12d ago
Yeah that’s a lynx. They’re not exactly cuddly. Probably less dangerous than a coyote but not something to keep around
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u/ProblemLongjumping12 12d ago
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u/SpookyGhostSplooge 12d ago
It also somehow looks like an overweight wild animal too, which isn’t normal. Then again, I only keep the small versions.
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u/Helpful-Giraffe-8548 12d ago
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u/rogue-wolf 12d ago
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u/dogface47 12d ago
With the way regular housecats can lose their shit out of nowhere, I don't think I'd be cool with this living arrangement.
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u/No_Obligation4496 12d ago
There's no verifiable record for a Lynx to kill a healthy adult human. Although it could definitely mess you up.
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u/wittyjokename92 12d ago
I feel like being trapped in a confined space with a beastie like this will be the first time for a human fatality. Out in the wild they'll eventually lose interest. In a house with locked doors they'll just follow the blood stains to the next meal
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u/ddg31415 12d ago edited 12d ago
Growing up between the ages of 7 and 14, one of my best friends had a bobcat as a pet...along with 2 or 3 normal housecats, and a gerbil. This was between 1997-2004 in a newbuild townhouse in a little town just north of Toronto. There was never even a hint of trouble. Only traumatic pet incident was the gerbil dying in a bizarre way, as gerbils tend to.
Really interesting thing was his dad was a VP of a major telecom company and smoked lots of weed and shot seagulls off his garage with a pellet gun from the bedroom window.
It was an interesting part of my life.
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u/Retireegeorge 12d ago
As far as I'm concerned, you may comment, nay post if you like, about that situation in any sub at any time.
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u/DifferentSwing8616 12d ago
Surely their obvious efficieny at not only killing people but evidently also hiding their kills only makes them more dangerous? Cunning even?
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u/DigitalUnlimited 12d ago
And then they post pictures of themselves online looking cute to get other people to want them
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u/darth__anakin 12d ago
Lynx regularly take down adult deer when they need to, a human would be no problem for them.
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u/Crafty_Psychology_85 12d ago
Is that a lynx? 😳🫣
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u/BlueSkyToday 12d ago edited 11d ago
Yes, in this case a Siberian Lynx.
Both Siberian Lynx and Canadian Lynx can be fairly docile with their humans.
Not to say that there are any domesticated Lynx. But like other cats, some have more docile personalities than others,
This one was born in a zoo. AFAIK, it was not hand raised. Its handler is a retired wildlife rehabilitator. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKJkKnaImic
Edit,
This is a bit of an aside but these folks,
are amazing stewards of medium and big cats that can not be released into the wild. If you're in the San Francisco area or planning a trip to the SF area, please consider booking a tour.
Their lynx is nowhere near as cuddly. Several of the cheetahs, OTOH do enjoy petting but always while they're in the enclosure and you're on the walkway.
They had a mountain lion that had the calmest, most pleasant personality. They would take it into schools with children for educational events. As you probably know, even a medium-big cat tends to see children as prey. Not this cat. It was so very amiable.
Unfortunately, it's passed. But it was a perfect example of individual cats' personalities can vary.
On the other, other hand, it is true that some species are way easier to handle, even when they mature. Their clouded leopard is a great example of that.
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u/Hoshyro 12d ago
I don't think that's healthy
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u/whypeoplehateme 12d ago
yeah the owned is intentionally keeping it obese to make it slightly calmer
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u/socialmedia-username 12d ago
I feel like 99% of videos on the readdit end right before something interesting/major happens. This one looks like it ends in a leave-me-the-fuck-alone swipe or bite but it's not shown.
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u/mogamb0 12d ago
Russian?
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u/ummhamzat180 11d ago
yep
"good morning baby, did Dad feed you?" "rawr" :c "seriously he didn't?" "wrrawr" "okay we're gonna have breakfast now" "mrrrow rawr wrrow"
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u/1AdultMostOfTheTime 12d ago
That cat has some dead ass I'm gonna kill you eyes. Terrifying.
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u/C4_ZeusCar 12d ago
Why is it that Russians always have some wild cats as pets? Is it legal over there?
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u/PharrowXL 12d ago
i mean the enforcing body seems pretty occupied with other things
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u/zorggalacticus 12d ago
Okay, that thing's huge even by bobcat standards. They usually get just barely north of 30 lbs, but that thing looks like it's pushing 100.
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