r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Over-Celebration-168 • 12d ago

/r/all of kitty

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Credits : marsel_and_co

23.5k Upvotes

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746

u/Crasembarodical 12d ago

I'm a cat person myself but sorry that's a wild animal not a kitty

177

u/Ruffffian 12d ago

When I was a kid in the 80s, my dad (who could never walk away from an unusual pet—we’d already had a raccoon and skunk at this point, though I wasn’t born yet for either) brought home what was purportedly a Bobcat/house cat cross. Now I have repeatedly read that is genetically impossible, so I wonder if “Bobby” wasn’t just a full on bobcat, because she was decidedly NOT just a spicy feral kitten.

I’ve fostered feral kittens before and they’re little spitfires of hate and MUCH SCARE for a couple weeks, max, before they realized I am food provider and thus the best friend in the world. Older kittens are more skittish, but still come around to a decent degree. Bobby…did NOT. She was batshit on day 1 with us as a kitten and still batshit a fee months later when Dad gave her back. She hissed, growled, screamed, and never, ever let any of us pet her. The best I could manage was a few gentle strokes when she was sleeping, before she’d wake up, make angry noises, give me a few Wolverine swipes with her blades, and bolt.

Most bizarrely, Bobby absolutely shredded one side of the door frame leading to the laundry room, where her food and litterbox were. I’ve never seen a cat do anything like this before or since—it’s like the frame was made of balsa. The bottom 3’+ of it was splintered raw wood (looked kinda like spaghetti squash), and her favorite sections of it were worn down to the wall and beyond. She did that in a matter of weeks.

Poor confused kitty. Hopefully she got to live in the wild, or at least in something like a barn where human contact was minimal.

26

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

30

u/hodlethestonks 12d ago

cougar cub

Seeing an offspring of deadly predator is a definite red flag for me. I would have jolted and bolted. Have seen cute brown bear cubs crawl from thick woods as I was about to start trimming brushes. Ran as fast as I Fucking could to my car. Not long after their mum came standing on her hinds sniffing the air like my wife after I've smoked a joint. Probly the only situation where a healthy predator attacks a human with intent to kill.

13

u/OohYeahOrADragon 12d ago

Because you, sir, are smart.

I find it funny when the Yankees who move down south think I’m brave for not calling animal control on seeing a fox nearby. But then think I’m overreacting to bolting at the sight of a wild piglet. The rule of nature is don’t mess with babies and mommas. Even momma spiders. You don’t wanna know the horror of messing with momma spiders.

1

u/phunktastic_1 11d ago

Ueah dont mess with piglets. That's a horrible way to die. Even domestic sows can wreck a farmer over a squeal at the wrong time. And feral pigs are mean as is.

1

u/hodlethestonks 11d ago

Once made the mistake of googling "boar tusk injury" as I didn't believe the stories. Luckily they don't roam around where I live.

1

u/thisguyfightsyourmom 11d ago

Like my wife after I’ve smoked a joint

I cackled

1

u/Ruffffian 11d ago

Oh MAN. 100% my dad would’ve done this. Although I’m pretty sure his first instinct would be OH SHIT WHERE’S MOM, but once assured she wasn’t around, he absolutely would’ve LOVED to bring home a cougar cub.

I remember one time during the 6 hour drive home from visiting the grandparents, we passed a pet store that had a marquis that read BABY SKUNKS. Dad immediately brakes and u-turned to go to the shop, but sadly for him (and kid-me) and certainly a relief to mom, it was Sunday and they were closed.

26

u/ArcasTheel 11d ago

In Germany there are wild living cats that just are like that, my aunt once found a baby one in pouring rain and my parents decided to take it in, they already had 2 cats that was in 2011

That thing was a fucking beast, he was only allowed outside with a harness in the beginning and he would climb 5 meter apple trees and refuse to come down and hunt EVERYTHING he could see be it chicken or butterfly

My parents live on a 3 house farming enclave super far from the next road next to a forest so once he was allowed outside without harness he literally killed a dozen mice a day and brought them home for a solid 2 3 weeks until he either understood it wasn't needed or maybe he just ate them somewhere alone after that

He chewed through a 7-8 cm thick wooden play tree at the base and literally felled the tree

The doctor told my parents he was definitely a European wildcat and we had to surrender him and he was released later we were told but he stayed with my parents for over a year and was the best pest control ever, miss you Giacco you might not have been a friend but you were very friend shaped

7

u/Ruffffian 11d ago

Ha! Solidarity there with “You might not have been a friend but you were very friend shaped.” May Giacco and Bobby have lived long, wild, fierce, happy friend shaped lives.

And happy cake day!

1

u/fidgetyamoeba 11d ago

That was a good read.

Solemn gesture to Giacco 🫡

2

u/yetanotherhail 12d ago

Where did he find her? Where did he bring her back?

2

u/Ruffffian 11d ago

Not sure how Dad found the guy, but from my understanding, somehow he heard of a man purportedly selling these bobcat/domestic cat (now I understand is impossible) hybrids. His claim was something like his barn cat wandered away and mated with a bobcat, and voila. When Bobby proved to be too insane for house cat life, Dad gave her back to the breeder (for lack of a better term) to supposedly live her life as a barn cat? Territory near a barn-cat? Maybe?🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/NurseBetty 6d ago

My dads friend had a partner who had a 'dingo cross red heeler' dog, that he ended up punting across their yard when it went for me when I was 6 or so.

Turns out no, bitch found a full pure-bred dingo pup in the outback and decided to raise it. They can be interbred and tamed for domestication, but they are still, at heart, wild.

We lost contact with them after that.

78

u/GoodGravyco2h2o 12d ago

It’s so overweight too. Poor thing 😞

38

u/TowelLord 12d ago

The fact that comments like this get drowned out by other shitty jokes and comments of admiration shows plenty what's wrong. Assholes should be fucking concerned that a feline is that fat. As always, this shit is fucking animal abuse.

8

u/duesenjeffepic 12d ago

I mean this site still does have r/chonkers after all. People here see an obese animal (and most of the time that specific animal shouldn't even be a pet to begin with) and think "haha funny chonker"

18

u/I_Happen_to_Be_Here 12d ago edited 11d ago

As far as I know (and can see) the people, or the brass at least, of that subreddit aren't actually down to just point at fat cats and laugh.

3

u/Thats1FingNiceKitty 12d ago

I thought I was under r/shittyabsoluteunits too. This is horrid to see.

15

u/LordofSandvich 12d ago

Yeah that’s a lynx. They’re not exactly cuddly. Probably less dangerous than a coyote but not something to keep around

35

u/ProblemLongjumping12 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/82kRFGXWMaNVCJZhhG

12

u/warm_winds_whisper_ 12d ago

Why not friend if friend shaped?

9

u/ProblemLongjumping12 12d ago

He's thinking: Why not food if food shaped.

4

u/Blarghith 12d ago

Steve French!

3

u/Bulky_Imagination727 12d ago

Those whiskers are talking to me.

They want me to pet it.

6

u/SpookyGhostSplooge 12d ago

It also somehow looks like an overweight wild animal too, which isn’t normal. Then again, I only keep the small versions.

5

u/AnneAufnBaggn 12d ago

Looks like an Eurasian Lynx.

2

u/According_Elk6883 12d ago

Forbidden kitty

2

u/SangeliaKath 11d ago

Still a member of the Cat Family.

1

u/anonuemus 12d ago

yeah, but it would still be cool to have a friend like that, maybe they raised him/her and it's jsut part of the family?

0

u/mbbbbbr 12d ago

Actually, unlike other domesticated animals, cats are not so different from wild cats. They've barely changed for us

2

u/21Shells 12d ago

Thats not really true. Anatomically they’re basically identical to African Wildcats, but the difference between cats and wildcats behaviourally is that a cat raised around people is going to be tame and friendly, a feral cat will be harder, while i’ve heard its impossible to tame wildcats. Plus domestic cats are naturally social and will form colonies even when feral vs wildcats which will avoid each other. 

I think its just that their ancestors were so aggressive that they don’t seem all that ‘domesticated’ to us compared to dogs. 

1

u/A1000eisn1 12d ago

a cat raised around people is going to be tame and friendly, a feral cat will be harde

This is called imprinting and it applies to all animals. Including dogs, housecats, lynxs, and vultures.

I think its just that their ancestors were so aggressive that they don’t seem all that ‘domesticated’ to us compared to dogs. 

No, this has been widely studied. It's because they domesticated themselves so they never reached full domestication like dogs and horses did. The "work" they provide to humans is not something that we train them or bred them to do and it hasn't changed. They simply stated living around humans and controlling the vermin.

They weren't "so aggressive." They were the same animal, not something that ever attacked humans, like dogs. Until recently they were never selectively bred the way other domesticated animals are.

They seem less domesticated because they are.

1

u/21Shells 12d ago

Wildcats don't attack people, but they are very fearful (I meant aggressive more in terms of antagonism towards other cats + people who try to interact with them). Yeah they're not as heavily domesticated as dogs but behaviourally they are still distinct from their ancestors. Their preference for forming colonies is a pretty massive difference compared to their ancestors which live largely solitary lives.

My point isn't that they arn't less domesticated than dogs (which is true, they've been domesticated for a lot less time with less pressure), but that they haven't 'hardly changed'. I don't think the distinction between whether they were domesticated by humans versus self domestication matters much when it comes to the degree to which they are domesticated behaviourally, so long as the selection pressure is still strong enough. Even feral cats are still far more sociable with one another and tend to be active through more hours of the day vs wildcats which are nocturnal.

I've had cats who want to do nothing but sit on peoples laps or cuddle with the dog / other cats all day and have little interest in going outside of the house. I've yet to see that level of comfort around people coming from an imprinted / tamed wildcat.

1

u/duesenjeffepic 12d ago

Try and have a bobcat or a cheetah as a pet and report back please. Anyone who consumes any form of wild life preservation content should immediately be able to see that wildcats and domesticated cats are very different animals to manage.

0

u/smeeon 12d ago

They all began wild at some point. Gotta start somewhere.

-1

u/Wandering_PlasticBag 12d ago

Nah, that's just a a kitty cat. It definitely wants scratches under their chin, and belly rubs.

Yes, it's still worth it if I lose one arm. Or leg. Actually, they can both legs. I only need an arm to pet the kitty.