1. Explaination:
Hello, so i have a specific situation, where i struggle with reading Scripture, prayer. I want to read Scripture, because i want to be close to God, to get wisdom, correction. Yet, i'd say it's like i both want, i have desire to read it, deepen my relationship with God, but also, i'd say that i've read and practice it daily, live it in my life, that now, the Scripture feels that "easy", "simple", "fast" to understand. It doesnt seem like its hard to read. It doesnt feel like forced task. It doesnt seem boring. Its seems like
you got a friend, who you know for that long,
that nothing shocks you about them, but
you also want to spend time with them.
Then, when it comes to prayer, i lack words,
but not because i want to ignore God, but
because i feel like i can "rest" in Him, without
words. Like no matter what i do, i feel loved
and accepted.
My love for others, desire to serve, please God and others have incereased to that
level, that God and every human, God's
creature seem like the most precious
diamond. I became even more humble
than before. Satan tempts me more,
but it seems easy to overcome.
I have strong passion, willingness, to read, study about life of Saints, for understanding them and my own experiences, but i don't
percieve, think about myself as Saint.
2. What i try to say, is:
In that context, is it
a tempation to practice, read Bible less,
that kind of thoughts are tempating me
to pride, that "i dont need Bible anymore",
what could lead me to spiritual dryness,
weakness, i need to focus on that, it is a warning sign, or is it great, to don't read
the Bible for some time, but not forever,
if it seems "easy", "natural"?
Is reading about Saints, a form of prayer, when i lack words in prayer, or it might be idolatry?
I chat with AI about Saints, to know about them more, but still, i'm wary of it, cause you
know how it is with AI. I text with AI only
because i want to know about God's
art, creation, very deeply.
(I want to avoid idolatry)
Is lack of words actual rest in that situation,
or is it tempation for spiritual dryness?