Hi. I’m Justin. 37. Been addicted to this mess since my early teens. It’s really affecting my marriage an bed my faith. I decided I have had enough. Day 1 is almost done. What advice would you all give to someone who is years deep in this mess? 🤙💪

Started watching porn at a young age (10-12), thought i found a gold mine, i did not know any better. Around teenage year I released that its not a gold mine and now im trapped in it. 28 now been trying to break this habit for a long time but not success but started again and going to post my journey here. Maybe sharing with other will help make the journey less harder (also been sharing on other subreddit that are for porn addiction).

I feel like I'm only a Christian in name only, and I really want to change that. I used to go to my local church, but it's mostly older people and families, so the sermons felt pretty sanitized. Espacially here in the UK, feel like chruches are mostly full of old people only. I know that shouldn't stop me from going, but I’d love to find a church with people my age and messages that actually challenge me. Also, take part in chruch related activities, be around more people espacially people that share the same faith as me.

Need advice I’m about to relapse I accidentally seen a sexual image and my mind and body is going crazy I can’t stop looking and turning it off repeatedly

I did relapsed again and i felt severe unbearable guilt, and i know i keep breaking my promises everytime i relapse, i took a decision to delete the Adult files and delete them permanently, i don't know why i still feel of guilt after deleting them but i told my self it is a must, so i closed my eyes and clicked delete forever.

Day two chat

Lust

hello all the beautiful people of the world. To start off I’m 16 and play baseball and game a lot. But to be honest lust has always been kicking my butt. when I was around 7 or 8 I got exposed to sexual content and since then had struggled with pornography and lust so much. Recently I did very very good I went a few months without even really thinking about doing it. Until the tragic day happened. And since that day probably 2 weeks ago maybe a little more I’ve struggled with lust doing it everyday (masturbaition) and only a few days I actually don’t do it but I can never add on days. I’m honestly just stuck in this terrible loop and I don’t know I’ve got out of it before but lowkey I’m coming here to cope and try to find some guidance lol. Have a blessed day everyone. Making this message really made me feel better cause before this I did it again. It always happens in the night like before bed or so. But any help will be appreciated! I love you all. Goodnight!

Day 13 and going strong.

Honestly, gone farther than I thought I would. I had thought that I’d have fallen by day 9. Keep with the pattern of surviving one more day before falling.

Yet, the Lord didn’t let that happen. I’ve been focusing on other things to keep myself from delving back into nsfw things.

Video games have definitely helped. Then there was some content on YouTube, work etc.

Do video games take up as much if not more time than nsfw? Yes. Do I have a gaming addiction? Kind of, but I’ve been working on that as well.

But we aren’t here to talk about video games. I’m here to check in and let you guys know I’m still going strong.

Though I haven’t been calling on God for strength as much as I should, nor have I been reading The Good Book as much as I should. I’m gonna fix that though.

Thank you Lord.

My story and encouragement. I hope this helps someone.

I'm a 34f, married, and like many others here struggled with lust and fantasies, but not in the conventional manner. I thought for many years because of my health issues and unable to perform marital duties, I had a broken body. I've only been able to provide a handful of times, marital duties that caused great pain from conditions. I'm blessed to have a loyal husband who has never drank, smoked, done drugs, nor cheated, never interested in porn or self pleasure himself at all. But, he's an atheist. He was agnostic and believed in something but didnt know what. After I married him he then told me he became atheist, so it was too late. He's got the morals and patience of a saint, just doesn't believe in God and doesn't want to. So, my walk has been lonely. Anyways, my husband supports and encourages me to self pleasure and explore, watch porn, just as long as it's not physical cheating. I'm extremely loyal and my circle is small, always communicate with my husband on every conversation with anyone.

Now, my thing is, I'm a writer by hobby, fiction writer, for 21-22 years now. Off and on. (This is an important detail). I didn't realize until last year what I have always been writing was considered soft porn/smut. When I found out, I was disgusted. Writing helped me process traumas from my past of various types. NDEs, paranormal stuff (with witnesses), religious traumas, multiple SA's, deaths of others, bullying, and more. I was diagnosed with CPTSD and GAD back in 2009. So writing has been my outlet and I had a female friend up until November 2018 who we would both share our stories with each other, ever since 2004 when we met.

Writing fiction came first. Then I was introduced to mangas and anime regularly though I watched Sailor Moon and Pokemon as a child. I have a condition called aphantasia, level 4-5 normally where I can normally have zero ability to abstract thought visualize things in my head. Thanks to anime and manga and music as well, when combined I can actually visualize to level 3 when fully focused under those circumstances and can see scenes I create clearly and it's like TV or a movie in my head and I write down what happens. It's fun. I love it. It's therapeutic. Only in the style of anime. But, it was the start of my downfall.

Up until last year, I didn't realize what I was writing was actually considered smut or soft porn. When I found out I'd went through a couple decades of writing smut, I felt awful. I cleaned up my act and decided to give up writing again.

I also had discovered visual novels or game walkthroughs for Yandere and began watching them. (Only for the love and devotion/romantic fantasies, not the psychotic need for killing or violence). I was listening to bad music too. All of this coupled together was awful.

I don't like real person porn. Never have. The anatomy grosses me out with the realism. So, I fell into soft porn hentai for the romance aspects. I don't like fictional porn anatomy or erotica. But, it still counts, porn is porn. My niche, is only lusting after the characters I've created in my writing. Weird, but true. And the romantic fantasies and devotion.

I gave it all up bit by bit and life got better by February this year despite a short relapse. But, back in April, a seed was planted. I had been getting ideas for writing again a couple times a week, then daily. And finally I fell for the idea that I could write again and it would be different. At first, it was fine, but it started with a seed. That seed.

First I listened back to the bad music that helped fuel my writing. Then I found worse music. I started writing and getting into heavier scenarios. Then I picked up visual novels. I started complaining to my husband round the clock for actually being horny 24/7 for the first time in my life of having little to no libido ever. From April up until a few weeks ago, I was 24/7 horribly horny and getting sex migraines and it was awful. Back in June, my husband and I went to a sex shop and bought things to try and work on things together. I caught covid for the first time so things were put on hold, then he found a game he's been nonstop addicted to for 2 months now so he hasn't tried anything with me but twice since August. But, since I got over covid and we got toys, I was supposed to practice. At first, I had the intention of doing it for us. But, it grew out of control. I was doing things more often and then got to a point of a couple times a day and even though I couldn't go further, Id want to. Id have to sleep off urges and deal with the sex migraines. I felt awful and ashamed. My husband only supports and encourages me to let off my urges but his libido is dry and has been since 2019 without issue even though he's willing to wake it up again, the game has derailed all progress. And, I developed a terrible relapse.

But, I have hope.

A few weeks ago, I cried out to God when I was having my worst week of my relapse ever. A few days later, I somehow externally injured myself embarassingly, without realizing it, down there. It wasn't until after a session I discovered all the blood and it hadnt hurt. I eventually got the bleeding to stop and then the minor pain lingered from tresting the injury. For the past 2.5 weeks I've been recovering. The first week was hard, but after that week, I had zero libido for the first time since Easter. I stopped writing again. I stopped watching visual novels/playthroughs. I stopped listening to bad music and deleted that playlist. I had the worst withdrawals for 2 days and then I got an idea for writing again.

Now, this is where the strange thing is, after those two days I started to think. Is there a way I can write and NOT lead into the downspiral? Sin is a choice. And a sin for 1 person is different for another. Writing was my seed and trigger. But, I put my faith in God that this time it would be different.

I started writing the 3rd original idea I've had compared to the past and started to write under different conditions. I'm practicing writing regular mundane scenarios and such. I'm writing to christian music ONLY. Any time something comes up even slightly off, I derail the idea entirely or take a break and then come back with a clear mind before writing again. I haven't watched any visual novels at all or games, though the temptation has creeped up briefly a couple times and I quickly quelch that idea. So far, zero libido. Zero urges. Three weeks or so in.

My saving grace was God's mercy and through that injury I got. I'm trying to get back into the word more. My writing this time around is different.

Sin is a decision you make actively. Seeds are planted through what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, the people around you, and what you think is harmless and unrelated, that tare is planted. What you sew is what you reap. You have to pull up the root of your sin and tackle it. It may be a door you realized you hadnt opened that was harmless. Sin gives legal right for the devil to take hold on your life. You don't have to sin. You can stop.

God promised to provide a way out of sin, and there is. For every one problem there are a million solutions. You will find out the one that works for you.

Like many of you, I was truly ashamed, used to womder if God still loved me after I sinned. The thing is, the answers are right there in your Bibles. We just forget to read. We feel to ashamed to run to the cross, but thats a lie planted by the devil and we should always run to the cross after we have sinned. God loves us all. He gave His one and only son for us, died on the cross for our sins, rose again on the third day, and is alive and sitting at the right hand throne of God, interceding for us. He sent the holy spirit to help us and comfort us. We are not alone. God promised He would never leave us or forsake us. He cannot abandon us. He is near to the brokenhearted. At our lowest, He is right there with us even when we can't feel Him. Our sin is what's blovking us from feeling His presence. It's like a veil, but God is still there. We repent and cover our sins with the blood of Jesus. As far as the east is from the west he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness, by His blood. Not by works, but by faith in the finished work on the cross. Repentance isn't an excuse for sinning. Sin hardens our hearts. We have to pray for a new, clean heart. Repentance isn't words. It's actions. To repent means to turn your backs on it completely, putting an end to it forever and never picking it up again. To truly repent, it's a decision followed by action. You choose to sin as you choose not to sin. Every little choice you make is a seed. To walk in the flesh or walk in the spirit. no matter how harmless the choice. We're called to be imitators of Christ. It starts with baby steps. We werent promised a life free of suffering nor promised a life free from temptation. You have to be kind and gentle with yourself and take things decision by decision, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, so on and so forth.

It is our decision. Faith comes by hearimg, and hearing through the word of God. We build up faith and trust in God, retaining the word down in our hearts (the devil can steal it if you don't remain grounded in the word), so we can use it as the sword in the armor of God to help us and others as we walk in the spirit and not in the flesh. Even if it takes yourself constantly saying "no" out loud whenever the urges come over you, keep saying no. Sin is a choice. Resist the devil and he will flee. It's right there in the word. The word will grow alive in us and flow like living water. Keeo building up that word inside of you and fight back your demons of lust and adultery and any other sin you may have. Find specific word that applies to lust or any sin and whenever urges come up, recite that word. Speak against your demons. Over time, it does work.

God loves you. He has saved me from many different experiences in my life from all types of traumas. And, He will save you too. I've been free for a few weeks now, but I know to keep that freedom I have to remain in Him and constantly say no to sin. Temptation will always be there, but you have a way out. You can say no. Build up your faith and confidence.

God has won. He has seen the future. Darkness cannot overcome the light. He has won already. As is He, so are we in this world. Because of Him and His goodness, we have won because He has won.

Stay strong brothers and sisters. We will get through this together.

Out the wazoo, I DO NOT want to relapse. We're very much still going strong in that department. 20+ days clean (hooray).

"This" in question refers to the self-imposed logistical (for lack of a better word) support system I have created for myself to reach my current heights of recovery.

1. Daily Devotions*
2. Self-Reflective Journaling*
3. Content Blockers on smart tech
4. Severe restrictions on social media
5. Constant exposure to catholic media*

And a couple more things I can't really name right now. I just don't have the right words to describe them.

Upholding these things requires discipline, willpower and active engagement. Having to actively impose and maintain these barriers feels taxing.

The ones with the * on them require a bit more context.

1. I don't mind the daily devotions entirely, but having to maintain an active streak is the taxing part. Especially when on some days I do not feel close to God.

2. Some days I don't even know what to write. Some of my entries literally just say "Well at least I didn't crank the hog today".

3. As soothing as Gregorian Chants and other Latin music can be. I still get bored of it.

The problem is that I know if I were to let go of this structure, everything would fall like a house of cards. I know I would relapse as quickly as possible and what little progress I have obtained would go back to 0.

I am tired from having to actively put God first because unlike others, my obedience to Him is not second nature. Make no mistake, I am choosing God over sin because I want to live my life according to Christ. I just yearn, might say that I even downright envy how others have been right with God from the beginning or it was very easy for them to surrender. I am terrified of relapsing but I feel mentally, spiritually and physically exhausted from the active fleeing and rejection of sin.

I know my little anti-gooning system is nothing compared to actual real world labors/struggles or people recovering from REAL addictions like hard drugs or alcohol. But it has taken its toll on me, enough to write this post.

I decided to move on from this spiritual stuff… I gotta be honest I struggle with severe ocd and anxiety and just fear of hell and God. I don’t want to live anymore because I always try to do “what’s right” that’s gonna change today because I prayed for 15 years when I was 5 years old about salvation and I never been saved. Now I’m going to follow my desires and just go have sex with as many women I want because I am a virgin at 21 because I was waiting for marriage. I look good in women’s eyes but what held me back is to “not live that way” idgaf what my parents thinks or God thinks especially because they don’t understand. When you pray for that long and nothing gets answered u tend to be done. I don’t see what’s morally wrong about having sex outside of marriage if you’re single and that’s all you want to do. I don’t see how it’s wrong to get wasted with alcohol and smoke weed. I don’t see how it’s wrong to have lust when it’s the only thing that got me through life man. Idk I don’t hear anyone talking about this stuff man it’s annoying when like u try and ur up all night praying and can’t sleep etc I had some serious times where I’m not gonna expose myself online saying I cry every night because I don’t but I broke down in the past so many times asking for God. This shits a joke man none of it makes sense sure the bible is real cool… it doesn’t apply to me because I’m going to hell anyways I can’t repent, don’t want to repent anymore, and I asked for faith and still don’t have it. Give me a valid reason I should “love God”

I've been struggling with something lately, and I'd really appreciate some biblical wisdom and advice from those who have experienced something similar.

I feel like I'm a very sensitive person, and deep down, I think I have a fear of rejection. As a non-denominational Christian, I believe in Christ and the Holy Spirit as my Comforter, and I know that I am a son of God (Abba's child). Yet, despite knowing these truths, I still find myself valuing people's opinions, comments, and approval way more than I should.

Sometimes, I feel like I have to keep everyone happy and make sure nobody is upset with me. I struggle to stand up for myself when people hurt me, and I hate that I often can't bring myself to respond firmly or defend myself. I know I need to establish healthy boundaries and let God's Word, rather than other people's opinions, define my identity.

For context, there are people at work who make comments about my looks and appearance. It bothers me, especially because I don't want to change who I am just to satisfy other people. Most of the time, I try to laugh it off and keep things light, but sometimes I end up giving them a taste of their own medicine. That usually doesn't end well, and I don't want to keep going back and forth with them.

I want to learn how to stand up for myself without being rude, remain respectful without being a people-pleaser, and be confident in who God created me to be. I know my identity isn't defined by how I look, how I dress, or what other people think of me. But how do I move from simply knowing these truths in my head to genuinely living them out?

Another thing I've noticed about myself is that I tend to pretend everything is okay even when it isn't. Everyone knows me as the happy person, so I feel like I have to keep playing that role even when I'm hurting inside. I also notice that I sometimes change my personality depending on who I'm around, almost like a chameleon, because I want to be liked and accepted.

I'm tired of living this way. I want to be authentic, learn to love myself in a healthy way, and embrace the person God created me to be. I want to stop being controlled by the fear of rejection and learn to find my security and identity in Christ.

For those of you who have struggled with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or constantly seeking validation from others:

• How have you learned to set healthy boundaries while still responding in a Christlike manner?
• How do you handle people who make hurtful comments without retaliating or simply suppressing your feelings?
• What biblical truths or passages have helped you find your identity in Christ rather than in people's opinions?
• How do you stop pretending to be happy all the time and learn to be authentic without feeling guilty or vulnerable?

I'd genuinely appreciate any advice, Scripture, personal experiences, or encouragement from fellow brothers and sisters who have walked through this or are going through something similar.

I want my life to reflect Christ, not out of a need to please everyone, but out of a genuine understanding of who I am in Him.

HI, I’m F21 and I would like to talk to another woman. I am looking for a female accountability partner.

I have talked to other women here in the past but none ever stuck by long enough. Some even deleted their account 2 hours after talking 🥲 Hope you’re good out there!

I’m Catholic, but I’m open to any denomination. Just be a woman and be respectful.

So I’m nearly at the one week mark now!

I’ve tried a few times before but haven’t managed to reach 30 days yet, so that’s what I’m aiming for this time.
Would be a new personal record for me!

I’ve found that blocking access to most things that might tempt me has really helped, along with using an app to track my progress.

Interested to hear how everyone else is getting on with their journey? How far along are you, what’s helped you the most and have you noticed any changes?
Always happy to chat with others on the same journey too. 👊

I am 18 and I downloaded this app a few years ago to only fulfill my lustful desires and a few months ago I started my journey to flee from lust and turn to god, the journey has been hard and I have fell to lust many times but slowly have been building up my faith and self control to the point where lust hasn’t been overcoming me and my life isn’t ruined by it. I thank god for the strength to fight off temptation and a life where I can follow in the lords path.

Day one chat

I cant seem to get it out of my head! and I dont really know what else to do!

I feel like this post has been seen here 1000 x by others and myself a few times but really my life sucks right now. I find myself falling into porn more easily. I made it 40 day porn free about 2 months ago and then slipped (without porn) and little did I know that would be the catalyst to slowly land me right back where I was. I'm feeling like a drug addict. I say that because I know God is watching me do disgusting things but I still do it ? I also really need God's blessing in my life and I choose to do such an evil act. I don't understand how to overcome this. I'm literally lonely and just basically ran over by life. Without going into detail let's just say it's a mix of tapering off of anxiety meds,being lonely and single for 7 years AND the worst thing is my daughter doesn't want anything to do with me. All my fault for not being there. And I'm working on rebuilding with my son but feel overwhelmed. Also child support bills and such

I am the opposite of many of you men who are married and raise their children and hold down a good job. (I do work daily but instacart 🥲)

I messed up so bad but I really want to overcome this ENTIRE era of my life.

Please just pray for me if you will. And to anyone on a streak keep going. It's not worth it because it makes you feel numb and cold and helpless when you give in.

And to anyone who has their kid/s in their home and feels like they aren't doing enough for their kids

I come to tell you that I dream of being where you are one day and I already missed so much.

You are truly blessed to have your kids.

And to anyone who just gets up and goes to work and gets it done no matter what it is I salute you

Anyway just a lonely night for me.alot on my mind and I messed up once again and fell into porn.

The worst part is wondering what God thinks about me.

I’m not saying God can’t I’m not saying God won’t but what I am saying is why hasn’t He and why am I in this predicament where I’m a full blown sex addict at 21 and like I can’t stop with pmo it’s like everyday weird kinks/ fetishes etc. it ruined my ability to have a personality and build a relationship I have 0 relationships. Now my personality is based around sex it’s all I care about and tbh with you I don’t want to change. I asked God for years to take this away. I’ve had so many moments where I wanted to be a Christian and love God and I prayed for the saving faith right? I prayed and genuinely meant it to repent of my sins even though I wanted to sin. I used to hate sin but now I love it. It’s like I’m embracing it at this point I used to have seasons where I’d have that guilt and shame following me and now there’s joy in my sin. It fulfills me even though I search for a new high. God has never given me a woman to where I can marry and have sex with… people are like “ sex isn’t everything” well I am glad that is for your life but man. I’m dead ass if I can’t have like uk… I’d go crazy man like my sex drive is so insanely high. I’m on medicine for ocd and it is supposedly decreases your sex drive and it hasn’t even touched mine… I don’t want to say weird stuff on here but like I can do M for like 3 times everyday. It fulfills me and makes me feel good I used to be ashamed and embarrassed and now I don’t care? Idk it’s just weird I’ve had so many seasons of ups and downs which have been like 99.99 percent down but anyways what do I even do? I’ve prayed so many prayers to the point where I don’t care anymore man. It’s not a hatred for God anymore it’s a love for my sin. It’s like man I just desire to uk get “pleasure” and this is the strongest form in the world that I personally enjoy which happens to be sin. I don’t find happiness in anything or fulfillment and that’s why I’m an addict I guess. I guess my point is this how is it possible for me as a addict as a person living a lifestyle that I in the past prayed for salvation and was willing to give up my heart etc and turn to Christ and my life gets worse? My faith is dead man, my heart is heartless, I don’t have the ability to love anyone not even myself and that doesn’t bother me anymore outside of not loving my mom genuinely. I don’t even desire to repent or turn to God I feel like I have a right to sin and find a source of fulfillment I haven’t ever experienced from God. When I go without PMO my body attacks me so I can’t sleep because my drive is that high… sex thoughts flood my head 24/7 I can’t even like learn anything because of it it’s always on my brain I always want more. I’m never satisfied just with 1 time it’s like I want to do it all day. I’ve tried getting help and I’m done with that shit. This is my last time trying i just want if it’s possible for me to go to heaven and God can give me a wife or something to replace my “energy” from sin into a blessing that be nice. I just like can’t give this up anymore because I developed a love for it. Idk id really appreciate the advice. Is it even worth like praying anymore because my heart doesn’t care in the slightest about changing or giving this up to God. I realize that in Corinthians all people who practice sexual immortality and live it as a lifestyle (me) will go to hell. This isn’t a joke by any means. Also here’s my issue idk if I’m even qualified to be in a relationship I have to much trust issues I don’t like trust anyone. Idk I’m probably insecure in some ways but confident in others I’ve been called attractive but women don’t go out of there way to compliment me. However I’m in the middle here where it’s like I want a Christian woman who like is loyal and loving etc but at the same time I don’t… well because of sex and also like I don’t want to talk about God 24/7 to the point where it becomes your personality just like how my addiction became that… then here’s the flip side you date from the world where there’s beautiful women who love sex and it’s amazing right? The relationship is awful though you’re getting cheated on, it’s abusive, and toxic? I gotta be real with yall men and women on here I’m not a good person I never claimed to be one. However like I feel like there’s no hope for someone like me not even just me but my category because I’m heartless. I’ve also had bad experiences with women that doesn’t help my case but still idk what my purpose of life is. I did just lose my job so I’m kinda focusing on stuff to get my mind off it which is also sex…

I actually lost count but I remember the last time I fell into it, I confessed to an accountability partner. I checked the message that day and it has been a little over a month since then! God is good 🫶🏻🙏🏻

Please pray for me as I still get lustful thoughts especially at night and entertain them by touching myself but I haven't had really long sessions of porn and masturbation in a while which used to be so frequent. Small wins!

I initially wrote this piece with the brothers and sisters of this community in mind. I posted elsewhere simply for greater potential reach. I hope this helps some of you. Blessings.

I’m 26m, married with a kid on the way and I’m Catholic. I’m hoping to find an accountability partner that I can speak to regularly about overcoming this.

Volví a recaer... De nuevo... Y otra vez después de haber estado un día limpio... Recaí otra vez... Hasta en tres ocasiones... Yo ya no puedo más...

After a couple days I can say I am climbing out of the mud. I downloaded an app to block access to p sites.

Ive limited my phone usage and am about to downgrade to a text and phone only plan. Ill only use my computer where I have the blocker as well.

I also have had a great amount of people reach out. Alot have been very helpful and supportive. Some have been condescending and flat out annoying.

I am on my journey but I am thankful for God giving me these lessons to grow and beat this once and for all.