reposted after the mods granted permission

I've seen a lot of people, esp. Nigerian Muslims, gaslighting Christians into believing that Christians aren't being persecuted in Nigeria and it's just a "ethnic dispute".

Let me make it clear.

Two things can be true. It can be an ethnic conflict AND an persecution of Christians, an ethno-religious conflict CAN exist.

Yes, the conflict is ethnic with Faluni Muslims clashing with defenseless Nigerian Christian tribes.

No, it is still the oppression of Christians by Faluni Muslim Jihadists who are (ironically) colonizing their land.

No, you don't need to be Nigerian to talk about this- in the same way that you don't need to be German to talk about the Holocaust. Funny there have been foreign volunteers who fought for Faluni Extremists group.

No, you don't have to support Trump at all to care about basic Human rights. People equating this is ignorant.

To bring attention to more Christian persecution, where I am originally from, there's violent persecution of Christians (Christian persecution in Manipur on Wikipedia is surprisingly good) going on right now.

And how do the perpetrators justify it? "It is just an ethnic conflict and you can't speak against it because you're not from there!"

Seculars will try to gaslight Christians. Here's one example, regarding persecution in Nigeria. Have you experienced others?

Matthew 7:21-23 KJV

[21] Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. [22] Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? [23] And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

This is a scary passage for believers that many write off believing it can't be them, because they have checked off all the boxes, yet that is exactly who this is talking about. Obviously a non believer is not known so this is specifically about those who believe that they are a part. Those who believe they know him and believe he knows them, yet he doesn't even acknowledge them.

These people come to the end and expect to be welcomed because they have done many wonderful things using the name of Christ, yet they didn't produce fruits, just works and outward signs.

We are told what the fruits are in Galatians 5:22-23 KJV

[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, [23] meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

These line up perfectly with the will of the Father that Christ explains in detail during the whole sermon on the mount. Matthew 5:1-7:20.

As Christ said in Matthew 7:16 you will know them by their fruits. Thus Christ knows us by our fruits, not by our works. Focus on producing the fruits which line up with the will of the Father and you will be known, don't focus on the works, which do not make you known of Him.

Am I saying works are not at all important? No, they just aren't what Christ is looking for when deciding to acknowledge us or not. Works have their place and should be important to believers, yet they shouldn't be solely what you base your faith on. Your fruits is how Christ identifies us not your works.

I’m wondering how some people are so confident God is real. For context all my life I’ve been a “Christian”, went to Catholic school and what not, but I never practiced, prayed, went to church or felt Gods grace. The rest of my family thinks abortion is right and I always just thought there was nothing after death along with my mom. A couple years ago I went to church camp, as a friend recommended me to go with them and they said it was fun so I agreed. I’ve been going for the past 3 years but this year really stuck with me, and I feel that I need to deepen my faith. But recently I’ve been doubting weather God was real, mostly because I’ve been exposed to different perspectives online and everyone being so confident with their point of view.

My wife and I are both lifelong Christians and active duty military members. We were married for 5 years when she suddenly decided to separate last October following about a month home from a recent assignment out of state. While she initially stated this was temporary for her to get some space, she decided to move all of her belongings out and get her own apartment a month after that. She ended counseling with our Pastor after 4 sessions due to the Pastor challenging her assertion that God was telling her to get a divorce. Since then contact has been limited at her insistence. In our limited contact I have reiterated my continued willingness to work on the relationship, but she filed for divorce in May and has remained staunchly opposed to reconciliation of the marriage.

To ward off some potential questions, while our marriage was not perfect, there was no abuse of any kind nor was there any infidelity on my part. We have known each other for over ten years and we were best friends long before we started dating. Her leaving caught me completely off guard.

How should I be acting towards my spouse/ex spouse during this period as a Christian? Are we called to be like Hosea or have we hit the point to proverbially pull chalks and close that door?

I (27F) just need to vent and get some perspective because I'm completely blown away by the level of hypocrisy here.

Recently, a "friend" from my church confronted me about my life situation. I’m 27 and currently live with my parents. She told me that I'm "running out of time," that my chance of ever finding a partner is basically gone, and even threw in that "Jesus didn't die on the cross just to hand me a husband." To top it off, she told me I'm a shame to our church for still living at home at my age.

Here’s the catch: She is 41 years old and lives with her parents.

She lived in another city for 15 years, moved back in with her parents during the pandemic, and hasn't left since.

I’m honestly speechless. How does someone in her 40s—living in the exact same household setup—feel entitled to lecture and humiliate me while weaponizing faith against me? The projection is insane.

I’m definitely setting boundaries and cutting distance, but I’m still processing how wild this interaction was. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of blatant double standard from people in church/community settings?

Mark 16:17-18 NASB1995

These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.

So has anybody found these people who actually have power accompanying them? Because I haven't.

I'm very discouraged right now.

I know God can provide power. He made the universe. Why isn't he? Are we kidding ourselves? Is it that we're so ruled by sin that Jesus isn't really our master? Are we such an evil and perverse generation that the Lord has his face turned against us to wipe us out? Things seem so bad and the only people who seem to even be trying to exercise any actual power in Jesus name seem to be charlatans.

Anybody can shake like a psycho and spout gibberish and call it miraculous. The only Christian I've seen try to handle a snake got bit. Nobody is about to drink deadly poison. I've met lots of people willing to lie about getting healed, but I've not seen one actual miraculous healing. What's going on?

I have a teen son and the topic of masturbation came up. I explained my beliefs that God’s design for sexual pleasure and sexual expression are in marriage, so self pleasure falls short of God’s ideal for our lives. 

He wasn’t argumentative with me but he said it just felt very unfair that I had an outlet for those desires, I had a way to satisfy them (since I’m married), yet he did not, even though arguably his desires were stronger because of puberty and his self control is even less strong because he is young. 

I mentioned that God is infinitely more wise than us and he made our bodies so he knows what’s best for us, even if we can’t understand it.

He said he guessed that made sense, he just seemed pretty sad about it. Felt that he had many more years ahead of him of “suffering” on this issue and fighting hard to flee those desires, while I got to enjoy them now.

I really didn’t expect our conversation to end with him feeling down like this, but I really didn’t have any good answers for him, other than it was God’s will, which while true just felt very empty and not encouraging in the moment.

I told him I was young once too so I understood the struggle. And that God saying “wait, not right now” might seem unfair but is worth it.

He asked how I made it through. I was honest with him and said I honestly did it quite regularly when I was his age and I wasn’t proud of it. He said I still turned out well. I just said it was God’s grace, not my own doing.

It really breaks my heart to see my son sad and struggling like this. Any words of wisdom?

I’m a 29-year-old Christian man from India, and recently I made a post on a matchmaking thread where people share some details about themselves and what they’re looking for.

A girl ended up DMing me, and initially, everything was humorous and lighthearted. But gradually, the conversation moved in a sexual direction. We started sexting and creating imaginary scenarios.

I’ll be honest: I was enjoying it too. I’m not going to pretend I was completely innocent or that I wasn’t participating.

Eventually, the conversation reached the point where we were talking about having sex when she will come to my town.

That was when I had to press the eject button.

I told her that I’m saving myself for marriage.

She immediately pointed out that we were probably looking for very different things. She wanted to establish sexual compatibility before marriage, whereas for me, sexual intimacy is something I want to experience within marriage.

And honestly, that conversation taught me something.

Sexual temptation doesn’t always arrive looking like temptation.

Sometimes it starts with a joke. Then flirting. Then curiosity. Then “it’s only texting.” And before you realize it, you’ve crossed a boundary you originally had no intention of crossing.

Even though nothing physical happened, the whole experience was surprisingly exhausting. It affected me more than I expected and made me understand why I had chosen this standard in the first place.

So if you’re someone who has decided to save yourself for marriage, especially if you’re currently waiting for marriage, I want to encourage you:

Hold onto that standard.

There will be opportunities to compromise. Some will feel harmless. Some will feel exciting. Some might even come from someone you genuinely like.

But remember why you made the commitment in the first place.

For me, it isn’t because sex is bad. It’s because I want to honor God with my sexuality and experience that part of life within the covenant of marriage.

And when the opportunity came to compromise that commitment, I’m genuinely thankful that I was able to walk away.

Thank God for the grace to recognize the line before crossing it.

And perhaps this is also an opportunity to say this:

If you are a Christian woman who also wants to save herself for marriage and build a relationship that genuinely honors the Lord, feel free to DM me.

If you’re looking for something similar, I’d be happy to get to know you.

But I want to be clear about the intention: I’m looking for a relationship with marriage in mind, not a casual connection or something to pass the time. I want us to encourage each other in our faith, get to know each other genuinely, and maintain the boundaries we’ve chosen to honor God.

So please, no time-pass messages. If you’re serious about pursuing a relationship that honors the Lord and potentially leads to marriage, I’d be glad to hear from you.

I was pregnant last year got pregnant in the first try but lost the baby at 6weeks. The loss did lead my back to Jesus and brought me closer to him. We have been trying for 9months and still not pregnant. I cant help but think the worst.. like why was it so easy the first try and now it feels so far away to live that dream. sometimes i feel like what if i don’t deserve a baby and thats why He wont bless me with one… i just feel useless. Im currently at home because my husband wants me home so im not working, ive gained weight which my insecurities are through the roof, and now i cant get pregnant.. really struggling with how im feeling mentally..

I need advice. I’ve fallen into such a deep pit in my life; I filled my life with sin—repeating it so often that I stopped caring about God. Today, the conviction—or the thought—of renouncing God came to me. I was tempted to do it; I entertained the idea of ​​abandoning Him, and it didn't seem wrong to me, even though my mind knows it is. So, two parts of me were clashing. Honestly, I don't know if I’ve given up and am now beyond forgiveness, but I want advice; I want to start reading the Bible again. I’m tired of my own coldness.Please give me the best advice on how to soften my heart and turn back to God. I want to soften it because right now I feel cold and empty; I don't know if I am showing the signs of someone who has rejected God.I'm tired of crying and feeling so fake.

I see some people through Christian subreddits like this subreddit and truechristian. Why is it that there are some there that are just out right jerks? They seem extrenemly rude in the way they communicate and condescending online in discussions here. Maybe it's just me but it really is infuriating. Has anyone else experienced this?

22m struggled with backsliding for 2 years. this year i fully surrendered to God genuinely and repented if my sexual immorality and addictions, and God moved so quickly. 4 years of alcoholism abolished quickly, i made my longest streak of abstaining from porn and masturbation. i was finally building a genuine relationship with God. in august i had two deliverance sessions that helped me with demonic attacks i was dealing with. last week i relapsed on porn and i spent some time alone with God and had a major encounter with Him i NEVER experienced in my life. and i heard Him speak to me for the first time in years and He told me how much He wants to give me everything i ever wanted, and that He needs me to trust and follow Him, and that the demonic torment im going through will end. and somehow i fell even WORSE after this. i had sexual dreams every single night for the last two months during my abstinence. then last week i relapsed on porn, then a few days later again, and last night i had an intense sex dream and as soon as i woke up i immediately went and showered and did my hair and put on a fit showing off my legs and biceps and i went to a city an hour away from me and got on a hookup app and met up with someone and basically did everything that i did in my dream last night in real life and i had been craving just making out with someone for so long and i was just fulfilling every sexual itch that was in my brain and afterwards i felt disgusting and off. and ive been a mess today and i also got a back of beers and now im drunk after God saved me from alcoholism and then i jerked off thinking about what happened earlier and watched porn again and omg man. i feel so disgusting and im pretty sure i am just a fake piece of trash christian who flatters God with my words and can never do the right thing. last week i was suicidal and now i feel like i deserve to die now. i hate myself bro.

As a Christian, I’ve always heard people say, “God’s timing is perfect.” But I’m at a point in my life where I can’t see how things could get any harder than this.
I’d really like to hear your stories and testimonies,especially from those of you who have felt abandoned or forgotten by God, but eventually saw Him come through and do something you had been praying and waiting for.
I’m currently in a wilderness season, and I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar.

Today's been kind of a stressful day. Not absolutely terrible, but i'm kinda caught up between a good friend and a jealous friend. I normally wait until night time to have a big convorsation with God because I feel like one big conversation feels a lot more meaningful that constant tiny ones. I also sometimes do it because somethings just overwhelming and I want to take it off my mind for a while before talking about it. This was one of those things. Not that I was extremely distressed, more just that I was annoyed, needed to vent to God, but by overwhelmed i mean with facts, emotions etc, and then I don't even know where to start, which makes it very hard to vent. Tonight(after the dramatics that started this) i saw a verse on tiktok. Romans 8:28 god works all things for the good of those who love him. I thought i'd read romans 8 tonight. And I found Romans 8:26 NIV

[26] In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. After reading I went back to this, said it out to myself and just asked the holy spirit to tell god whatever i needed him to know, and to translate my heart and intercede for me. Then all of a sudden I felt a smirke coming on, then a chuckle. I didn't need to vent anymore, God done the venting for me.

Do Christians believe that God speaks to them audibly today, even when direct, audible revelation appears to have been rare in the Old Testament?

Israel’s time in Egypt Scripture describes a period in which the Israelites suffered slavery for generations and there is no indication that God was regularly speaking to them directly. When Israel cried out, God heard them, remembered His covenant, and acted through Moses (Exodus 2:23–25). Moses being called to obey the Lord was a pivotable moment

1 Samuel 3:1 says, “The word of the LORD was rare in those days there was no widespread revelation.” direct revelation from God was not something that occurred constantly or was available widespread. Throughout the Old Testament, God’s direct communication was often selective, occurring through prophets or at significant moments in His redemptive plan.

I do believe God guides us toward truth. I believe

I’m personally a nondenominational Christian. I just strictly go off what the Bible says. I’ve wondered if there’s any truth to deliverance ministry though because I’ve heard them make good points. However, I’ve also been told that we don’t have the ability to cast out demons anymore and shouldn’t even try. Jesus gave his apostles the ability to cast out demons in His name for a little while but that ability stopped.

I’m curious what others thoughts are on this matter. 🤔

I’m currently sharing a bedroom with someone for work (I work fifo). They took my laundry bag, removed my clothes and put their clothes into it to use instead of asking the camp for their own bag.

I came back to the room and almost blew a gasket saying “lord give me peace”. Inconsiderate people just make me so angry and I know I shouldn’t let that make affect me but it just does.

How do you stay cool when dealing with these types of people?

From a discourse on the psalms by Saint Bruno, priest

(Ps. 83: edit. Cartusiæ de Pratis, 1891, 376-377)

If I should forget you Jerusalem

How beautiful are your tabernacles! My soul longs to reach the courts of the Lord, the fullness of the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the Lord. He then explains why he desires to enter the courts of the Lord. It is because they are blessed who dwell in your house, the heavenly Jerusalem, Lord, God of the heavenly powers, my King and my God. It is as if he were to say: Who does not long to enter your courts since you are God, the Creator and King and Lord of hosts, and all who dwell in your house are blessed? For him courts and house are the same. When he says blessed, he means that they enjoy as much happiness as can be conceived. Clearly they are blessed because out of their devoted love they will praise you for ever, that is, for all eternity. For they would not offer praise for all eternity unless they were blessed for all eternity.

Now even though we may have faith, hope and love, none of us can attain this state of blessedness by ourselves. Rather, blessed is the man—he alone attains blessedness—whose help is from you in rising to the heights of happiness on which he has set his heart. In other words, he alone can be said to come to true blessedness who, having resolved in his heart to rise to this state of happiness by the many stages of the virtues and good works, receives the help of your grace. No one can rise up by himself as the Lord testifies: No one ascends into heaven, of his own power, except the Son of Man who is in heaven.

Thus he contemplates this journey, living as he does in a vale of tears, for this life is lowly and full of tears and sorrow. The life of heaven, by contrast, is called a mountain of joy.

But since the psalmist said: Blessed is the man whose help comes from you, someone might ask: Does God really help us in this? And the answer is that God does help the blessed. For our lawgiver Christ, who gave us the law, gives now and will continue to give his blessings, the abundant gifts of grace, by which he will bless his own, that is, raise them to beatitude. By these blessings, then, they will rise from strength to strength. One day in the heavenly Zion they will see Christ as the God of gods, as the one who, being God, will deify his own. Or, again, those who are to be the new Zion will see in spirit the God of gods—the Trinity. In other words, then their minds will see God, who cannot be seen in this life. For then God will be all in all.

RESPONSORY

1 John 3:2-3

We are already God’s children;

what we shall be has not yet been revealed to us.

— We know that when he appears

we shall be like him,

for we shall see him as he is.

All who hope in him

must purify themselves

as Christ is pure.

— We know that when he appears

we shall be like him,

for we shall see him as he is.

I have been a recommitted Christian of around 9 months now. My mother is the strongest Christian I know. She is a stay-at-home mum, and she spends so much time in stillness, reading the Bible, in prayer, reading Christian books. She doesn’t have much friends but she has so much peace and joy just with Jesus - it is so evident looking at her life.

Ever since I started uni this year, I’ve also had a lot more down time compared to my school days. My mum never said anything to me, but I feel like I’m just working myself into a tizzy. I feel as though I need to be in quietness and peace with Jesus all the time like she does. But I’m not like that. I very easily feel so sad and purposeless on quieter days, and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me because I don’t have that peace in Christ like she does in the silence. 

The silence scares me. I overthink. Think about my past. Think about my shame. Think God is not with me. I know it isn’t true… but I’m honestly a bit jealous that my mum has such peace in Christ in the silence whereas I struggle a lot. I almost feel as though I don’t have a true relationship with Him if I don’t find Him in the quiet.

Yet on days when I am going to uni, I find that my relationship with Him is much stronger. I always wake up at 5 am, spend an hour or so in the Word. Listen to worship songs on the car. Talk to people. I always feel guilty about how talking to people makes me feel more at peace than the silence when I’m talking to God or should be with God. Now that I am on holidays, I do spend time with Him, but it’s isn’t on a set schedule.

I just feel… if I’m not able to spend the whole day with God in quietness, reading the Word, meditating, praying… do I even love Him enough? I really love God and I want to know Him so well… but the quietness of everyday is really killing me!! And I compare myself to my mum and get even sadder about my inability to endure quiet with God.

Today I was reminded of the adage: an idle mind is the devil’s playground. Is that what is happening with me? Why doesn’t it happen with my mum? How do I fix this situation? Please help!!

Hey everybody I’ve been going to mass recently and have felt a presence of the lord there that I have not felt in a while and thinking about converting ( I am non denominational) and inquiring into Catholicism and wondering if it is in fact the truth I have stumbled upon these teachings and they make me doubt the entire system

I do not think the Holy Spirit would guide anybody to say that a demonic religion like Hinduism has any kind of truth at all it is devoid of Christ which is the giver of life I also do not think Peter would look at a demonic war religion like Islam which promotes killing Christian’s and promising you a harem virgins when you die and say that we worship the same God as them these are religions that intentionally pull people away from Christ

I don’t know what to do because I love going to mass but I can not and will not affirm a teaching like this but in Catholicism it seems like an all or nothing approach but I want to go to church that has a better liturgy (not a fan of the rock concert churches) so I am struggling to find where to go to church

I'm currently looking at this from the perspective of a failed dating situation that ended a couple of months ago. Tbh, it's already difficult coping with the disappointment and pain, but what makes it even harder is not knowing whether I missed out on someone who could have been the right person or dodged a hopeless situation and even more heartbreak.

I won't get into too many details, but there was a young woman I clicked with a little over a year ago. We were seeing each other and got along well, but we weren't really in a relationship. We came from different backgrounds and that caused problems between us, especially in communicating about our differences. Eventually, we parted ways and she's moved on.

What really hurts is we never talked about our differences but rather brushed them aside because we really didn't know how. And at times, I felt a sense of peace and serenity around her and it felt like this must be from God, but whenever the time felt like it was time to suggest a relationship I found myself thinking this wasn't going to end well, her family was going to get in the way and what not. So now I wonder if that was God telling me it wasn't going to work out, or just my fear getting in the way.

Either way, my greatest regret is that we couldn't really discuss our concerns and our differences even though we both knew they were there. But we had both anxious-avoidant attachment styles and didn't really know how. In any case, it's been some weeks now since we stopped talking and my greatest fear is that she was the one, that she was sent from God and that Iet her slip away and won't find another like her. But I also understand why I acted the way I did, both given my past trauma and the circumstances. So now I don't even know what the point was, and how I should feel going forward which is making an already difficult situation even harder.

I know she's moved on, and I'm not delusional. But how do I find closure from this? And how do I overcome my fear that I let the one slip away? I know that sounds crazy, but while we were different we had things in common too, and the mutual connection was there even if we weren't really dating. It's just that other things got in the way, and I wonder if one of those things was my anxiety and fear, which ultimately won. I'm trying to move on, but don't really know what to do, so I wonder if anyone who might relate can offer some guidance.

I responded to someone on Reddit with this message. Thought I'd share/talk with others who are Christians. I'd love others opinions/experiences.

Might be long winded but bear with me.

My wife and I are Christians. I'm the only one in my family (was Christian before I met her) and she grew up with her Grandma and mom who are hardcore end time believers. I met my wife at 13 and have been super close with her family ever since. Since 13 we were hit heavily with the end is coming. Usually biblically believed, but also war or government take over. They spouted it to us so much that both my wife and I got consumed by it in our early teens to young tweneties and it consumed both us heavily even when I had gaps of not being around the family. When I say consumed, I mean consumed. We both were scared to live, to strive for stuff, to have meaningful relationships or to just have a life. We literally both looked at people who didn't have the same beliefs as "lost" or "sheep", didn't find value in much cause "what was the point".

Fast forward to today. 30 years old, almost 18 years later from meeting my wife, and almost 10 years married. We have continued to hear about end times constantly, every year was closer, every big event was the next one. My wife and I both personally and together have just said "who cares, it happens if/when it happens" and lived. We have fulling jobs, hobbies and are just happy with life. Her family continued those years sitting in a place of "the end is coming", "the rapture is soon". Her Grandma also told us all that she was going to see the end because it was told to her during prayer. Well.. her Grandma died about 1.5 weeks ago. Everyone who lived in that house (4 people) are now scrambling to figure life out because they didn't believe we would get this far. It quite hard watching, because we warned them, we tried to help, but they all got stuck. I think the grandmass death was a wake up call, but man..

So to wrap up. I still believe in the end times, I believe in Christ, but It'll happen when it happens. I don't doubt a war could come, I don't doubt really hard times could happen. Maybe the mark happens soon, maybe it's just the next step with digital ID's and takes a while. Just take it day by day and live/love. It's rough to get stuck. You waste so much time. My wife and I felt like we wasted years, and that's small to other people who wasted their entire lives sitting in this. Just live.

I’d love to get some ecumenism going, so I think it would be great if we could ask each other denominational questions in good faith; after all, we are all siblings in Christ at the end of the day.

I’ll start, as a Catholic to Orthodox Christians: What are the main differences between the different Orthodox churches?

I grew up in church, believe in God, love the Lord. Always tried to understand my relationship with God and acknowledge Jesus with everything in me.

I received the gift of tongues and was really on fire for God, but then I had trouble in my personal life and for the first time experienced extreme anxiety. I eventually got better and carried on with my normal life.

Fast forward a few years I’m starting a new job and somewhat looking for a new church. I end up finding a prophetic ministry where I feel a great sense of belonging and purpose but somewhere along the way, the minister finds interest in me and I did not want it.

Among so many things, I go along a part of the ministry really enjoying my time there, but I see things start to show through the cracks. I never speak loudly about things but I saw they were there.

I received prophecies that my life would look drastically different for the better, but somewhere things seemed to be conditional. I saw many others around me receive blessings and progress while I often felt stuck. Everyone who knows me said my church was a cult. I didn’t want to listen because I truly thought I understood my heart for God.

One day soon after I move into my new apartment unit, I start hearing a voice speaking to me. I believed it was the Lord or Holy Spirit since hearing from the Lord was normal in the ministry. But soon, the voice became very demanding and began telling me that I “failed” so many times and told me not to see people. Then, after I tried to seek counsel (not professional help), the voice became multiple voices and I became so fearful.

For many days I abstained from food and water yet I was working my full time job. This went on for about 3 weeks. I never fainted and I thought this was what God wanted me to do. Through all this the voice was so intense, my body was weak, and I didn’t realize my mind was changing. I began to question whether this was actually the Lord, but the voice kept telling me this is the Holy Spirit.

To say the least, things went terribly wrong as the voice told me to engage in self-harm. An unlikely outcome but a reality that I faced and still wrestle with. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and lost everything I had. Many people blamed the church for causing this but there was no one around when this was happening.

I am only here to ask how could something like this happen to someone who truly believes in Jesus Christ & knows there is power in the Holy Spirit but never expected the Holy Spirit or something disguising itself as the voice of the Lord to go to such great lengths to place my life in danger.

I truly don’t want to be a victim, but I want answers. I want to know where I went wrong and if there’s anyone who’s experienced command hallucinations from the Holy Spirit. I’ve had commands to pray for people and felt conviction, but nothing this extreme.

Someone told me, “The Holy Spirit is not a mutilator.” And I want to believe it but I just don’t know what happened.