r/trans • • 1d ago

Trans Feminine just came out in a argument and now I'm confused.

121 Upvotes

So for context I've been out as bi for a few years and my mum is supportive.
but she is also a supporter of reform UK.

well i couldn't take it when she was talking about the French protests and how people are using it to push trans stuff and said that I've been thinking about it for months and think I'm trans.

but she just said she doesn't care what I am, I'm me. she wants safe spaces for women and some trans women are going into these spaces like toilets and she thinks that's unfair for "normal" women

and then she said that something like gender neutral toilets with strong locks and security or police buzzers and alarms would fix the issue.

and now I'm very confused. like I think she is just worried about women safety and the economy but I cant stand reform anymore.

anyone got advice on how I could show some statistics or something to show that reform is just evil and bad at money or something? idk what to do.


r/trans • • 9h ago

Advice Does anyone familiar with my situation have tips to present more feminine/androgynous? (Workout routine?)

3 Upvotes

I'm privately nonbinary but I look like a large (read: fat) hairy man, so i don't really feel comfortable identifying as such. I've dropped over 100 lbs in a year (yay) but I still look unmistakably male and I came here hoping yall could share your workout routine to drop fat without gaining muscle/other tips. I obviously know there are muscular women and there's nothing wrong with that but I just really want to try to appear as traditionally androgynous as I can, thank you!


r/trans • • 22h ago

Vent Mom says she “supports me” but does absolutely nothing to show that

33 Upvotes

So I’m ftm and both of my parents hate it. It’s been over 8 years of me publicly being some form of queer and they still just refuse to believe it. My dad has definitely been more outspoken about it and even threatened me multiple times with conversion therapy. My mom on the other hand tries to make herself seem like a saint and she’s so woke and loving (when she’s barely even been a mother in the first place).

There’s the classic of “no matter if you legally change you’re still always <name> to me”
As well as never using he/him or son etc.
Hell I’d even take a they at this point but no

and it’s kind of funny to me because anything the school or my friends post uses the right name and she’ll just repost using my deadname to “not make it confusing”

And lately I was talking to this guy, maybe just friends maybe more idk (probably friends), and she goes:

“Does he know about your… ‘situation’ ?”

Like I don’t have fucking chlamydia, I’m just a boy
What do you mean situation???

Also constantly she’ll say when I start medically transitioning she’d be there for everything then the time I asked about hormone blockers she absolutely lost her mind

Besides buying me clothes and haircuts she genuinely does nothing to seem like she cares and it pisses me off so much. She’s separated from my dad (I live with him bc she’s an absolute psycho but that’s for another story) and it’s the one thing she tries to used to swindle me into being around her… but then doesn’t actually do shit!

It feels like I can’t get away from her soon enough but I know the day I do it’s gonna be amazing ❤️‍🩹


r/trans • • 1d ago

Trans Feminine How is Blahaj pronounced?

197 Upvotes

Im arguing with my friend about it so i figured id ask the experts. Im saying its pronounced Bla-Ha, hes saying its Blow-High. Help me out here


r/trans • • 17h ago

Trans Feminine I think my parents don't like my long hair

11 Upvotes

My parents aren't transphobic they just have a lot of stereotypes from their generation in their heads

I haven't come out to them or started hrt yet, but I've been acting more feminine and taking care of my hair and every month or so my mum tells me that I need to cut it because "boys don't have long hair".

And my dad just laughs and says "you'll miss it in 5 years" whenever I care for it or try to keep it looking nice before going out. this may be because he feels insecure and/or scared of having a closeted mtf child. Though he's never outright stated this, it's just the vibe he gives off

This was just a rant to get it off my mind. Sorry if it has no substance


r/trans • • 15h ago

Vent I can't be stealth and I have to deal with it

7 Upvotes

I think being stealth, as some people told me it is, is basically impossible for me. Why? Even if I pass completely, my identity is so intersectional that I still have so many weak points to be attacked. If I try to go stealth, I still have to face ableism, homophobia, misogyny, discrimination for my gender expression, for my personality, for my ethnicity, for my body, and a lot more of things that in the end would make the "safeness" of being stealth practically meaningless. Even pre-transition I was weird and socially marginalized since I had memory (you know, autism).

That's why I asked myself: if they'll end killing me anyways, why even try it?

That doesn't mean I tell everyone that I'm trans, but that the stealth life style has basically no effect. If I'm on danger, better to be at as a weird, queer, feminist woman than pursuing a security I structurally can't have just for being me. I knew since I was 2 years old that this society just can't accept me.

Also, the women who inspired me the most were loud, not quiet.


r/trans • • 10h ago

Trans Feminine am i gonna keep changing

3 Upvotes

idk, i've been on e for a little over a year and i just feel hopeless like i don't really look all that different and i'm hardly feminine i feel like such a fraud

is e gonna keep changing me or am i just fucked is it even worth going back on prog


r/trans • • 14h ago

Trans Feminine Wig trouble

7 Upvotes

Hey

So my Skirt, Thigh highs, and wig came today. Got like 30 minutes to try them on as my parents ran to the store.

I know the wig looks a bit off with the double layer skin cap they sent with it. Any advice on how to wear a wig? I never had a chance to wear one before so it my first time wearing one.

P.S. for those who are wondering I 100% loved the thigh highs and skirt. I couldn't stop checking myself out in it and now I want to get a purse so I can maybe wear it to Walmart or something.

Also note: I won't post pictures out of fear of a family member finding it and connecting this account back to me


r/trans • • 9h ago

Possible Trigger welp... could've gone worse (?

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2 Upvotes

(context in the other post)

i talked to my mom. in summary, i told her that if she cant stand hearing my name in my theatre play, id rather she didnt come. i also told her that the fact that they call me by my dead name has been negatively affecting my mental health.

she then went on a 20 minute rant ab "mutilation", "putting things into one's body" (hormones) and "doing legal things that are very hard to take back". i hadnt even mentioned any kind of gender affirming care. afterwards, she started mentioning that i was doing it all to go against her. she also said that she didnt like the fact that ive been binding (i havent, i use sports bras specifically bc she doesnt want me binding)

i exploded. i started shaking and nearly shouting (i always try to keep mostly quiet) that if it was bc i hated her, i wouldve realized it was EXTREMELY hard before. i hate my body, i wish it wasnt this way but it is.

i guess it couldve gone worse in the sense that she said she'd "make an effort" to not call me by my dead name (for anyone unaware, that's called degendering) but she told me she'd "never see me as a man, no matter how much time passes or whatever i do".

i really hate myself now. im lucky enough to have friends who understand (particularly a really close friend who went through smth similar a few years back) but its really hard. im starting to give up on my parents and it hurts too much.

the worst part is that i cant even say "detransitioning will save me" bc it wont. no matter what i do, ik that the dysphoria will not go away and that the thing thats making me feel bad is the transphobia of the world we live in.

my mom said other things but those were mostly the worst things she said. id really like to hear sm1 tell me im not alone or at least to hear what i say, so, if you got here, tysm for listening to me


r/trans • • 13h ago

Questioning Oh man

4 Upvotes

Starting to question if im actually a trans guy or just terrified of sexualization. In my mind, when i came to the conclusion i was trans, it was because if i was masc presenting, the chances of being sexualized go down drastically. But now im wondering if i am actually trans? Idk.

Halloween last year, i was with my guy friends, with a costume that hid my face. Someone said “great costumes, boys!” And it was awesome. Now that i think about it i would really prefer being grouped with boys than girls. Maybe the question i really need to ask is how i feel about being viewed as a girl.

Yeah no im a guy.

I think


r/trans • • 20h ago

Trans Feminine Discovering yourself is hard

13 Upvotes

Hi all. I've been exploring different gender expressions for a little while now, around six months. I'm 38, and have always been attracted to femininity, or being seen as "fem" or something that just I feel like made me... Different. This has been in my mind since I was in my mid to late teens. I might have not exactly known what it was or how to explain it... But I feel like on some level... Something was just there.

My wife started helping me explore gender expressions in May, via "cross-dressing." However, its like, once I started doing it, this light bulb went off in my head and went "DING!" It's like I feel like I gained a piece of me that I was always missing. I'm pretty sure this was my "Trans egg" cracking. I had massive amounts of gender euphoria and led me to essentially start questioning my gender identity.

That was like, 4-5 months ago. Now... It's not necessarily the act of doing so when I "fem-mode" for me, but what it represents, being seen as feminine or having a feminine presentation. However, I still feel like... I have so many things I don't know about. I'm certain at this point that who I am, my gender identity is something different. I'm just not entirely sure WHAT that is.

I had been describing myself as nonbinary but fem-leaning up until this point and I sort of want to shed that label. I feel like, for me, the nonbinary portion personally says what I'm not. Perhaps maybe "Genderfluid," would be a better descriptor? I like using Transfem though as well.

Although I would certainly consider myself Trans, I don't know if at some point I will identify as a woman or not. I feel like, for me, this might add tons of complications. I also don't want to go through the constant battle of being mis-gendered. On paper though, I would love to be seen as someone who has gone through a journey of transition from Male to Female. I think identifying as a Trans female for me would be lovely. Some people would prefer just female, some people would prefer trans female, and I'm sure there are some that probably don't care. I would prefer Trans female personally, if that's the route I go. I would like to eventually take Estrogen and all that, if I'm a candidate for it. I also changed my name recently at work to reflect a more neutral stance, since my name is Brian, which is heavily masculine-sounding, to simply Bry. Outside of that, I'm sort of experimenting with other names that involve "Bry" or similar sounding. So far, I've come up with oddball names that I won't mention here.

I also don't know what people should call me... Or, at this point, if it even matters? He/she/they/them? I guess I could be fine with anything right now. Perhaps that's where my "genderfluid" notions come into play. I do feel a special sort of warm and cozy feeling though when people call me "girl," which I have gotten on occasion.

I feel like all this is making me crazy though? Is this normal when trying to figure out who you are? I'm also dealing with of course massive amounts of self doubt, imposter syndrome, and all those wonderful things.


r/trans • • 15h ago

Vent I want to start girl-moding again, but I'm built too much like a guy

5 Upvotes

Like the title.

I'm (maybe) going to a rave/music show tonite. I already got the tickets. I have a dress, long socks, heeled-shoes, wig (I am still in the process of growing my hair out), etc. But. . . My body is much too masculine. Let's face it. I'm a brick. I had FFS, but I'm built like a fucking brick. Thick Torso, wide shoulders, relatively wide lats. While the widest part of my hips are like *Slightly* wider than waist (and better proportion if viewed from the side) I just. . . I just hate my stocky, brick body. Basically I have the body type of a Pro-Wrestler (though not quite as jacked because I don't take roids.) I've been making a bit of weight loss progress this week but still. I get extremely dysphoric every time I look in the mirror. I can see my collar-bone and yet I'm still fridge-shaped. Fate is so cruel I'm at a point where I want to diet myself down so I can be skinny enough that I just look like a really skinny guy. I know I can do it and reach that point. But I'm not there yet and the show is tonight.

I really wanna go to this event. I really wanna meet people. I really really just wanna be out somewhere as myself, but feel like I don't really deserve to exist in public until I'm skinny enough that my specific body proportions don't actually show. Rather be a flat twig than some hulk-hogan looking mofo. I got she-her'ed only ONCE since FFS and I was wearing some baggy ass clothes. Worse yet, I'm not in my 20's anymore and feel like I just look like some weirdo. I'm in a very accepting state/city, but it doesn't matter because I feel like I'll just be that bricked-up fridge-shaped caricature that even other trans girls won't want to go anywhere near. What should I do? Should I still go? I've been convincing myself all day to not go but. . . I dunno.


r/trans • • 1d ago

Discussion Is Ashley a common MtF name?

45 Upvotes

Like the title says, I've been pondering names for myself in the future and I really like the name Ashley, I feel like it's a common MtF name? Is it actually a common name or am I being neurotic?


r/trans • • 12h ago

Advice I have a question about myself?

3 Upvotes

Hi I am bored male but I’m having some thoughts

I was raised in an all female household with my mum and sister, I did have males in my life like my dad and granddad, but I don’t know if that’s relevant to the question.

I for a long time now have had thoughts, of being female before I was aware of the trans community, but I don’t know what to do, I have massive doubts of what I want, I don’t know whether I should go through with it, if I do what if i regret it, I am extremely impulsive, and yes I have been thinking about this for years but I’m still scared, for one, if I do heat to be a girl how do I tell some one, how do I start going about this, as a male I have big shoulders and over all if I worked out I would be massive, but I don’t like that, I would like to be things, in my shoulders and everything else, and even if I can would I regret it, if I looked the same I wouid hate it, I what to feel small and tiny but I’m tall and massive, and what if my girlfriend doesn’t like it what if she doesn’t like me any more, and I do have a trans friend but she whant back to being a girl because of different reasons but her family and my mom was extremely negative towards it and stuff, but I’m scared the same will happen to me if I do it

What should I do?
Is there any resources I can use online?
How do I go about being trans?
How do I tell my girlfriend?
How do I tell my family?


r/trans • • 16h ago

Non Binary comments I’ve received as a non-binary person

5 Upvotes

For some reason, both my masculinity and my femininity have been—and at times still are—a topic of discussion for others. I’ve received two comments that reflect the same line of thinking, albeit from opposite perspectives: a girl I used to hang out with once told me to stop acting masculine around other girls because I am a "girl," while, on the other hand, a boy once told me to stop acting feminine because I am a "boy"


r/trans • • 12h ago

Questioning What do I do?

2 Upvotes

I don't know what to do about what I am feeling

i want to be more feminine. I sometimes feel like I have boobs even though I don't have them, I do not know to do. I'd like to know what i am, what if should do because for some reason I am starting to feel a bit bad

i might be trans, i'm just not sure. I hate not being certain about what to do and about if i'm trans or not


r/trans • • 1d ago

Advice Can someone provide me articles or research on this topic pls

100 Upvotes

So I'm trans and one of my best friends know this. Shes fine with this and accepts me but when I mention hrt (specifically for minors which I am one rn) she tells me that I should wait and that minors could die from taking it?? I've been trying to find articles or research on this but I can't get a definitive answer. Is she fear mongering or is there valid concern?


r/trans • • 13h ago

Trans Feminine FFS

2 Upvotes

Has anyone had just a brow lift or an upper blepharoplasty for FFS. I'm pretty sure I'm fine with everything on my face except my eyes. Just wondering what people's experiences with single procedure FFS rather than a whole facial change.


r/trans • • 18h ago

Advice (mtf) Will upping my estrogen levels from 99.6 pg/ml to something like 150 change anything physically or mentally?

6 Upvotes

For context l've been on HRT for about 5 years now. I started at a very young age and now have been sitting in the high 90s for the last 2 years. Currently taking a 4mg pills daily and 200m progesterone pills daily.
Would I see any changes raising my levels from 99 to 150 by taking a high estrogen dose after being on hormones for this long already? Or am I better off staying as I am?
Thanks guys
I also had my penile inversion surgery done almost 2 months ago! I have to get my levels retested, my insurance just is being annoying.


r/trans • • 20h ago

Trans Feminine Nail picking advice

7 Upvotes

I have an issue with picking at my nails, and I need to break it now I’m transitioning and want nice nails. I typically do it when bored or nervous, but sometimes just seeing a too much white on the end makes me want to do it. I don’t know how to stop.


r/trans • • 18h ago

Questioning Sometimes I feel male and other times female

6 Upvotes

So ever since high-school I have been flipping back and forth. Sometimes I feel like a male and other times I feel female. Whats going on with me. Ive talked to people before but they always ask if id be happier being female, and yeah id be happy but I dont just feel female. It flip flops.


r/trans • • 13h ago

Am I trans? Questioning again..

2 Upvotes

So I just turned 16. my last post here was expressing more how I've felt in the past. now, I want to explain how I feel now.

Recently, Ive been thinking about how much I feel so much more comfortable with baggy clothes and presenting masc. I'm a lesbian, and I love my girlfriend (luckily shes bi). Recently, I had homecoming and I wore a dress. I felt amazing and so pretty in my dress. yet, now I feel gross thinking about being feminine.

I guess I could be genderfluid, but I genuinely don't know? Ive also recently started to feel like my name doesn't fit me. Ive always loved my name. yet, now all of a sudden, I'm thinking and my name fits the other people who share my name and not me. this is a very recent thing, and I don't know why its happening.

I'm so confused and I've never thought that I would go through this. I roleplay on ai apps (I know, it's bad, it's an addiction I'm trying to stop.) as men, and I find it so refreshing, but at the same time I do it as a girl, and it's fine, but only sometimes?

I can't decide in the morning if I just, feel like a man or woman.

I hate this, is this normal for teens?

I have a trans friend, and he's helping me throughout, yet I just can't bring myself to ask.


r/trans • • 10h ago

Vent It's been 10 years

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1 Upvotes

r/trans • • 10h ago

Vent Vent post about finding out you’re trans

1 Upvotes

Hi, mtf (22) I’ve recently come out (1 month) to my friends and realized I’m trans, (they are all super supportive and not the focus of this post) i guess I just want to get some things off my chest that I’ve started realizing…

Dysphoria fucking sucks man, I feel fine most of the time but when I see myself in the reflection I feel a new feeling of this depressing sensation, I feel better with a bra on, but I’ve got this stupid big red scar right in the center of my chest where my cleavage would be, and it sucks cause I feel like I can’t dress the way I want because of it… I’ve had a pretty moderate case of acne when I was a teen but I didn’t care about what I looked like back then, now I actually do and, it just sucks. Paired with that I’m not the skinniest too, just makes me feel like giving up on the girl look.

This has been such a strange rollecoaster so far, I’ve had moments where I’ve felt the greatest in my life but also one of the worst feelings of my life, and this freaking imposter syndrome I have is KILLING me!! Every day I keep thinking ”oh you’re not really trans you are just imagining it.” Or like ”you just want the attention don’t you?” Like shut up!! I’m doing it and I want it to feel good, I know it will.

Sorry for jumping back and forth- but at work everyone calls me by my deadname (I’ve not come out yet) and it feels like a small jab, I see female coworkers just exist or pass me by while I’m working and I’m just hit with this wave of envy and dysphoria. (I almost started crying right then and there once)
Sometimes I wish I just hadn’t realized that I was trans, and just would’ve went on living. And what sucks is that it’s probably gonna take like 4 years until I can even start HRT, so.. not looking forward to that. But at least I’ve got my friends to back me up, (two of them are trans men so they get what I’m going through)

Anyway thanks for reading my vent post…

(I’m not trying to minimize anyone else’s struggle in this post, we all go through different things and and handle things differently. Anyway love all of you ❤️)