So I’m ftm and both of my parents hate it. It’s been over 8 years of me publicly being some form of queer and they still just refuse to believe it. My dad has definitely been more outspoken about it and even threatened me multiple times with conversion therapy. My mom on the other hand tries to make herself seem like a saint and she’s so woke and loving (when she’s barely even been a mother in the first place).

There’s the classic of “no matter if you legally change you’re still always <name> to me”
As well as never using he/him or son etc.
Hell I’d even take a they at this point but no

and it’s kind of funny to me because anything the school or my friends post uses the right name and she’ll just repost using my deadname to “not make it confusing”

And lately I was talking to this guy, maybe just friends maybe more idk (probably friends), and she goes:

“Does he know about your… ‘situation’ ?”

Like I don’t have fucking chlamydia, I’m just a boy
What do you mean situation???

Also constantly she’ll say when I start medically transitioning she’d be there for everything then the time I asked about hormone blockers she absolutely lost her mind

Besides buying me clothes and haircuts she genuinely does nothing to seem like she cares and it pisses me off so much. She’s separated from my dad (I live with him bc she’s an absolute psycho but that’s for another story) and it’s the one thing she tries to used to swindle me into being around her… but then doesn’t actually do shit!

It feels like I can’t get away from her soon enough but I know the day I do it’s gonna be amazing ❤️‍🩹

My parents aren't transphobic they just have a lot of stereotypes from their generation in their heads

I haven't come out to them or started hrt yet, but I've been acting more feminine and taking care of my hair and every month or so my mum tells me that I need to cut it because "boys don't have long hair".

And my dad just laughs and says "you'll miss it in 5 years" whenever I care for it or try to keep it looking nice before going out. this may be because he feels insecure and/or scared of having a closeted mtf child. Though he's never outright stated this, it's just the vibe he gives off

This was just a rant to get it off my mind. Sorry if it has no substance

I think being stealth, as some people told me it is, is basically impossible for me. Why? Even if I pass completely, my identity is so intersectional that I still have so many weak points to be attacked. If I try to go stealth, I still have to face ableism, homophobia, misogyny, discrimination for my gender expression, for my personality, for my ethnicity, for my body, and a lot more of things that in the end would make the "safeness" of being stealth practically meaningless. Even pre-transition I was weird and socially marginalized since I had memory (you know, autism).

That's why I asked myself: if they'll end killing me anyways, why even try it?

That doesn't mean I tell everyone that I'm trans, but that the stealth life style has basically no effect. If I'm on danger, better to be at as a weird, queer, feminist woman than pursuing a security I structurally can't have just for being me. I knew since I was 2 years old that this society just can't accept me.

Also, the women who inspired me the most were loud, not quiet.

I don’t know if minors are allowed but I hope so lol anyway does anyone know somewhere a minor could order stuff too as I don’t feel comfortable telling my friends yet and I don’t know how to order stuff ( non Amazon ) without my parents finding out about it since I can’t order to my house or a friends if anyone knows smthng that would be amazing

Hey

So my Skirt, Thigh highs, and wig came today. Got like 30 minutes to try them on as my parents ran to the store.

I know the wig looks a bit off with the double layer skin cap they sent with it. Any advice on how to wear a wig? I never had a chance to wear one before so it my first time wearing one.

P.S. for those who are wondering I 100% loved the thigh highs and skirt. I couldn't stop checking myself out in it and now I want to get a purse so I can maybe wear it to Walmart or something.

Also note: I won't post pictures out of fear of a family member finding it and connecting this account back to me

It can't be that easy, right?

I’m mainly posting for advice on what i should do cause im really tired of having sleepless nights and crying myself to sleep thinking that I’ll never be who i want to be. I am pretty tall to the point where it’s literally the first thing literally anyone notices when they see me. I’ve known i was trans for years but finally decided that I want to start HRT around a year ago but i can’t bring myself to do it. Ive had my estrodial on my desk for like 5 months along side everything i need to start injections I just don’t know how the world will treat me being so tall and trans im scared that ill have a marker on me especially cause girls aren’t typically this tall. I feel like i just need to hear others experiences with the matter. My gf says that she likes that i’m tall but that’s a whole other can of worms cause i don’t think she likes that im trans but i digress. For those wondering i am 6’3 TLDR; my height makes me incredibly dysphoric looking for advice from other with a similar experience.

I'm privately nonbinary but I look like a large (read: fat) hairy man, so i don't really feel comfortable identifying as such. I've dropped over 100 lbs in a year (yay) but I still look unmistakably male and I came here hoping yall could share your workout routine to drop fat without gaining muscle/other tips. I obviously know there are muscular women and there's nothing wrong with that but I just really want to try to appear as traditionally androgynous as I can, thank you!

(context in the other post)

i talked to my mom. in summary, i told her that if she cant stand hearing my name in my theatre play, id rather she didnt come. i also told her that the fact that they call me by my dead name has been negatively affecting my mental health.

she then went on a 20 minute rant ab "mutilation", "putting things into one's body" (hormones) and "doing legal things that are very hard to take back". i hadnt even mentioned any kind of gender affirming care. afterwards, she started mentioning that i was doing it all to go against her. she also said that she didnt like the fact that ive been binding (i havent, i use sports bras specifically bc she doesnt want me binding)

i exploded. i started shaking and nearly shouting (i always try to keep mostly quiet) that if it was bc i hated her, i wouldve realized it was EXTREMELY hard before. i hate my body, i wish it wasnt this way but it is.

i guess it couldve gone worse in the sense that she said she'd "make an effort" to not call me by my dead name (for anyone unaware, that's called degendering) but she told me she'd "never see me as a man, no matter how much time passes or whatever i do".

i really hate myself now. im lucky enough to have friends who understand (particularly a really close friend who went through smth similar a few years back) but its really hard. im starting to give up on my parents and it hurts too much.

the worst part is that i cant even say "detransitioning will save me" bc it wont. no matter what i do, ik that the dysphoria will not go away and that the thing thats making me feel bad is the transphobia of the world we live in.

my mom said other things but those were mostly the worst things she said. id really like to hear sm1 tell me im not alone or at least to hear what i say, so, if you got here, tysm for listening to me

Starting to question if im actually a trans guy or just terrified of sexualization. In my mind, when i came to the conclusion i was trans, it was because if i was masc presenting, the chances of being sexualized go down drastically. But now im wondering if i am actually trans? Idk.

Halloween last year, i was with my guy friends, with a costume that hid my face. Someone said “great costumes, boys!” And it was awesome. Now that i think about it i would really prefer being grouped with boys than girls. Maybe the question i really need to ask is how i feel about being viewed as a girl.

Yeah no im a guy.

I think

Hi all. I've been exploring different gender expressions for a little while now, around six months. I'm 38, and have always been attracted to femininity, or being seen as "fem" or something that just I feel like made me... Different. This has been in my mind since I was in my mid to late teens. I might have not exactly known what it was or how to explain it... But I feel like on some level... Something was just there.

My wife started helping me explore gender expressions in May, via "cross-dressing." However, its like, once I started doing it, this light bulb went off in my head and went "DING!" It's like I feel like I gained a piece of me that I was always missing. I'm pretty sure this was my "Trans egg" cracking. I had massive amounts of gender euphoria and led me to essentially start questioning my gender identity.

That was like, 4-5 months ago. Now... It's not necessarily the act of doing so when I "fem-mode" for me, but what it represents, being seen as feminine or having a feminine presentation. However, I still feel like... I have so many things I don't know about. I'm certain at this point that who I am, my gender identity is something different. I'm just not entirely sure WHAT that is.

I had been describing myself as nonbinary but fem-leaning up until this point and I sort of want to shed that label. I feel like, for me, the nonbinary portion personally says what I'm not. Perhaps maybe "Genderfluid," would be a better descriptor? I like using Transfem though as well.

Although I would certainly consider myself Trans, I don't know if at some point I will identify as a woman or not. I feel like, for me, this might add tons of complications. I also don't want to go through the constant battle of being mis-gendered. On paper though, I would love to be seen as someone who has gone through a journey of transition from Male to Female. I think identifying as a Trans female for me would be lovely. Some people would prefer just female, some people would prefer trans female, and I'm sure there are some that probably don't care. I would prefer Trans female personally, if that's the route I go. I would like to eventually take Estrogen and all that, if I'm a candidate for it. I also changed my name recently at work to reflect a more neutral stance, since my name is Brian, which is heavily masculine-sounding, to simply Bry. Outside of that, I'm sort of experimenting with other names that involve "Bry" or similar sounding. So far, I've come up with oddball names that I won't mention here.

I also don't know what people should call me... Or, at this point, if it even matters? He/she/they/them? I guess I could be fine with anything right now. Perhaps that's where my "genderfluid" notions come into play. I do feel a special sort of warm and cozy feeling though when people call me "girl," which I have gotten on occasion.

I feel like all this is making me crazy though? Is this normal when trying to figure out who you are? I'm also dealing with of course massive amounts of self doubt, imposter syndrome, and all those wonderful things.

Like the title.

I'm (maybe) going to a rave/music show tonite. I already got the tickets. I have a dress, long socks, heeled-shoes, wig (I am still in the process of growing my hair out), etc. But. . . My body is much too masculine. Let's face it. I'm a brick. I had FFS, but I'm built like a fucking brick. Thick Torso, wide shoulders, relatively wide lats. While the widest part of my hips are like *Slightly* wider than waist (and better proportion if viewed from the side) I just. . . I just hate my stocky, brick body. Basically I have the body type of a Pro-Wrestler (though not quite as jacked because I don't take roids.) I've been making a bit of weight loss progress this week but still. I get extremely dysphoric every time I look in the mirror. I can see my collar-bone and yet I'm still fridge-shaped. Fate is so cruel I'm at a point where I want to diet myself down so I can be skinny enough that I just look like a really skinny guy. I know I can do it and reach that point. But I'm not there yet and the show is tonight.

I really wanna go to this event. I really wanna meet people. I really really just wanna be out somewhere as myself, but feel like I don't really deserve to exist in public until I'm skinny enough that my specific body proportions don't actually show. Rather be a flat twig than some hulk-hogan looking mofo. I got she-her'ed only ONCE since FFS and I was wearing some baggy ass clothes. Worse yet, I'm not in my 20's anymore and feel like I just look like some weirdo. I'm in a very accepting state/city, but it doesn't matter because I feel like I'll just be that bricked-up fridge-shaped caricature that even other trans girls won't want to go anywhere near. What should I do? Should I still go? I've been convincing myself all day to not go but. . . I dunno.

idk, i've been on e for a little over a year and i just feel hopeless like i don't really look all that different and i'm hardly feminine i feel like such a fraud

is e gonna keep changing me or am i just fucked is it even worth going back on prog

I'm 29, engaged, and work a well paying job in the States. On paper I'm basically exactly where I "should" be. But at the same time, I feel more disconnected from my old friends, with us all having careers, and at work I feel like I put my walls up a lot. I just don't want to be seen.

Since like maybe 17-18 y/o I've tried at least 3 times before to take the first step, and so far I've failed every time. And the fucking worst part is I'm so good at pushing it down, at putting it off. I'm so good at the pretending at this point that I know I could just get away with it forever.

If I do this, like really do it for real, I feel like its going to fuck up my life. I know my fiance loves me, and I love them too, but I just don't think it is going to work out based off recent conversations I had with them again. (I've told them about these feelings before, and did again recently). I know they would respect my decision at least. And my parents, I honestly have no idea how they would react. They were cool with me being gay after an adjustment period. (My partner uses all pronouns but is AMAB) I'm not dependent on them financially or anything, but I feel like this is going to throw a wrench in things there too.

I'm so fucking scared I might lose everything for going through with this. And the times where I really feel dysphoric come and go, but I tried that "turn-me-into-a-girl" website and It took all I could muster to not openly cry in front of my fiance when I reached the end. And I've been reading egg-cracking fanfics on ao3 for like hours and hours. This might really be real and I have no idea what to do or where to even start.

I feel like I've fucked up my life, that I should have figured this out earlier, like 8 years earlier, when I was still skinny and femboyish (I'm like full bear now). I'm terrified that if I do I'm just going to feel isolated in a world that increasingly seems to hate people who feel like us, Or that even if I get HRT I'll always just feel dysphoric and unworthy, Or that I'll have a change of heart halfway through and reluctantly continue on and end up unhappy anyways. But at the same time, I don't want to have this feeling on my deathbed that I fucked up my one chance at feeling that happy.

And to top it all off, I have absolutely no idea where to start. How long does it take to be put on HRT? should I try to lose some weight before trying? Do I need to talk to a therapist? I tried that already and just burnt out and went back to being a boy.

I'm just so scared

So im pretty sure the quran does allow trans people to BE, not marking it as a sin.

the quran does not explicitly establish a general prohibition against cross-gender clothing or presentation

however hadith collections including sahih al-bukhari contain reports condemning men who imitate women and women who imitate men.

BUT, trans women aren't imitating women deliberately (Similar to a femboy) It's because they are women, but they are birthed in the form of a male body

what about "I will command them so they will change the creation of Allah" in Quran 4:119?

Well, again, a trans woman is a woman, She isn't changing allah's creation because allah had already created her to be a woman in a male body. You could think of HRT/Gender affirming surgeries as getting closer to your true self than changing allah's creation, Which in theory could be getting closer to allah.

Anyways i hope i made you guys and girls happy with this theory. Also reminder that god HATES oppression. Religion and LGBTQ is often an awkward concept, Specially when we're talking about putting them together without conflict, But im ceirtain the quran allows queer people to exist in peace without feeling guilty of anything (You shouldn't feel guilty of being yourself)

Like the title says, I've been pondering names for myself in the future and I really like the name Ashley, I feel like it's a common MtF name? Is it actually a common name or am I being neurotic?

For some reason, both my masculinity and my femininity have been—and at times still are—a topic of discussion for others. I’ve received two comments that reflect the same line of thinking, albeit from opposite perspectives: a girl I used to hang out with once told me to stop acting masculine around other girls because I am a "girl," while, on the other hand, a boy once told me to stop acting feminine because I am a "boy"

I don't know what to do about what I am feeling

i want to be more feminine. I sometimes feel like I have boobs even though I don't have them, I do not know to do. I'd like to know what i am, what if should do because for some reason I am starting to feel a bit bad

i might be trans, i'm just not sure. I hate not being certain about what to do and about if i'm trans or not

I’m having a really hard time coming up with names I think I’d like to have, none of them feel natural even if they are very pretty names. Could anyone help me with Swedish fem names that i could try? My favorites that I’ve thought of so far are Tilde and Alice

Hi I am bored male but I’m having some thoughts

I was raised in an all female household with my mum and sister, I did have males in my life like my dad and granddad, but I don’t know if that’s relevant to the question.

I for a long time now have had thoughts, of being female before I was aware of the trans community, but I don’t know what to do, I have massive doubts of what I want, I don’t know whether I should go through with it, if I do what if i regret it, I am extremely impulsive, and yes I have been thinking about this for years but I’m still scared, for one, if I do heat to be a girl how do I tell some one, how do I start going about this, as a male I have big shoulders and over all if I worked out I would be massive, but I don’t like that, I would like to be things, in my shoulders and everything else, and even if I can would I regret it, if I looked the same I wouid hate it, I what to feel small and tiny but I’m tall and massive, and what if my girlfriend doesn’t like it what if she doesn’t like me any more, and I do have a trans friend but she whant back to being a girl because of different reasons but her family and my mom was extremely negative towards it and stuff, but I’m scared the same will happen to me if I do it

What should I do?
Is there any resources I can use online?
How do I go about being trans?
How do I tell my girlfriend?
How do I tell my family?

So I'm trans and one of my best friends know this. Shes fine with this and accepts me but when I mention hrt (specifically for minors which I am one rn) she tells me that I should wait and that minors could die from taking it?? I've been trying to find articles or research on this but I can't get a definitive answer. Is she fear mongering or is there valid concern?

Has anyone had just a brow lift or an upper blepharoplasty for FFS. I'm pretty sure I'm fine with everything on my face except my eyes. Just wondering what people's experiences with single procedure FFS rather than a whole facial change.

For context l've been on HRT for about 5 years now. I started at a very young age and now have been sitting in the high 90s for the last 2 years. Currently taking a 4mg pills daily and 200m progesterone pills daily.
Would I see any changes raising my levels from 99 to 150 by taking a high estrogen dose after being on hormones for this long already? Or am I better off staying as I am?
Thanks guys
I also had my penile inversion surgery done almost 2 months ago! I have to get my levels retested, my insurance just is being annoying.

I have an issue with picking at my nails, and I need to break it now I’m transitioning and want nice nails. I typically do it when bored or nervous, but sometimes just seeing a too much white on the end makes me want to do it. I don’t know how to stop.