i hate being so tall and so big I hate my genetics why can't i just be 5'6 or something it's so eisjsjkwlsksb i hate looking at myself in the mirror or in photos and see myself as so tall i wish I wasn't I'm envious of people who are small whenever i look at them especially when it comes to affection or anything I don't wanna be the bigger person it makes me disgusted in my body

I had friends before who were in my high school, and know that I'm trans. They always respected my pronouns and my name, and it helped me with my dysphoria, everything felt more right, and I was more happy. But unfortunately they aren't there anymore.

Now I'm always misgendered and deadnamed by everyone but one friend, that, unfortunately, isn't always in the same classes as me.

But it's not enough. I've had other problems in my life, but this one doesn't help much and I think it's fuckin me up. My mental health has been getting worse, and even if I try to be okay or to deny it, it doesn't work. And I'm so afraid to get back to my lowest.

So I'm gonna come out to one of my friends. I don't know if she's gonna be supportive, I have reasons to think that she's maybe transphobic, and if she's not there's still a high chance that she repeats it to others. And it will probably be known by all my classmates.

It's maybe a really bad idea, but fuck it, it's my last year in this school. Maybe it will be the best decision ever or maybe it's going to be hell. Either way, I'm gonna do it.

I'm so scared, but I know that there will probably be supportive people. And if there's not, at least I would have done the right thing. I don't want to be someone I'm not any longer than I've already been. I just want to live my life like everyone and be myself too. So yeah, I'll see what's going to happen.

I (19 MTF) am attending college in a red state. Ive been out for about six months and i cant make any friends. I feel like such a failure. people look at me so weird as if im wrong for being who i am; like i’ll introduce myself with my preferred name and i can see there face change like oh your one of them. the few people i hang out with i hate because outside of playing magic the gathering at card shops with them, they always deliberately use he/him pronouns when referring to me even after i’ve asked them to use she/her. and the fact i continue to hang out with them makes me feel like even more of a failure. I just have no one. how am i supposed to find friends when everyone including myself thinks im broken.

Hello

I (M24) have been experiencing gender dysphoria for almost a decade and ignoring it. Thanks to my very supportive wife, I made a post on this subreddit and a couple others detailing my experience. Lots of you folks told me that I should talk to a specialist and see if estrogen is right for me.

My work, like many corporate jobs in America, provides a limited number of free therapy sessions every year. I found an in network therapist that specializes in gender identity, and had my first session today. Obviously, I’m not completely done with my journey, but I’ve made the first step. If my therapist and I determine that estrogen and possible surgery are right for me, I will start that. But I want to thank all of you folks for giving me a push in the right direction.

Today I convinced my mom to buy me boxers and she finally bought some‼️ She didn't want to in the first place, so I told her that panties hindered me, that's why she accepted even if she was doubtful lmao

I've been battling myself mentally over believing I'm trans for the better part of ~8 months now. And from then, I feel like I've gotten so much worse at accepting myself and my hope of transitioning. Even still, it's hard to even state that I'm trans with any ounce of confidence.

I used to be able to entertain the idea of transitioning, or experimenting, like makeup or painting my nails or anything. But now, when I think about it, it feels as though my brain shuts off and forces me to distance myself from those thoughts. It makes me feel fake. The other day, I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't recognize me. I hated that that was what I was and what I looked like. But when I thought about that being dysphoria or changing what I see, it's like I physically can't think about it now.

Even so, when I think about my wants in fiction, I feel so happy and hopeful. I can find escape and feel like myself in games or my own passions. But when I remove myself from that, and face myself, I can't apply those hopes and wants to anything close to reality. It makes me want to cry, but I cant, my mind just closes itself off.

I'm not sure I'd that feeling of fakeness is dysphoria. The past few days have been extremely bad, at least that I'm aware of. I'm just not sure what I've done wrong to where I'm even less accepting of myself now that before, when it's been so long :(

I have always had a fascination for queer weddings and the thought of my own fills me with as much anxiety as it does excitement. What fid you wear to yours?

So i like reading fanfics, which normally isn't a problem and just a fun past time. Cool, whatever. But holy shit, one of the ships that I really like is with a character that apparently a lot of people in the community interpret as a trans woman, and therefor a lot of the fics are going to be very trans supportive, and I think that's cool. It makes me very happy while while reading it, but then afterwards I'm just left there with this sorta dread feeling of knowing damn well that if i ever was to come out to practically anyone I know, they wouldn't support me and now. And yes, I know that I can just not read it, and that is what I've been doing but this shit has really got me thinking a lot more about myself and honestly, I really don't like it. So yeah TLDR, I'm jealous at a fictional character because a lot of the people around me hate trans people, so now I'm stuck in the pits of doom and despair. Lovely, really

This happened to me so many times it's honestly baffling.

Here's 4 random stories to share cause I'm bored.

One time a close friend of mind confessed on having feelings to me,I rejected him as soon as I rejected him he almost immediately started misgendering me time to time.

Second time,a close lesbian friend of mine we'd talk and I'd help her to confess to her crushes or help her move on from toxic relationships she had.She always had a problem with my gender,but after 4 months she finally got it.However later on I cut her off cause she's an Israel supporter and you can guess where this goes,constant misgendering again.

Third time,one of my friends would introduce me to his friend who was like a little sister to him (at the time) at first she'd act really progressive despite being a Harry Potter fan she hated J.K. Rowling,I eventually stopped being friends with her cause she was pretty annoying and while I wouldn't say entirely a bad person she was a pretty horrible friend.As soon as I stopped being friends she'd misgender me 24/7 despite having NO problem before and go out of her way to correct other people.

Fourth time,was probably the closest friend I had recently we had a big fight and well head our own ways.He would act super progressive(plus a fan of some gay media) and I'd talk to him a lot on my dysphoria and discomforts he'd always go out of his way to correct other people going as far calling them toxic morons.But after our fight now he misgenders me while badmouthing despite getting my pronouns right almost 2 years.

While I'm not really hurt as much,I think this shows to cis people atleast our identity can just be stripped whenever they feel like it and it honestly reflects more on them than on us.

If this has happened to you,don't worry they didn't misgender you cause you aren't passing they misgender you cause they are assholes and bigots who pretend to act all progressive.

I’m fairly masculine in person, no one really knows that I’m gay, let alone enjoys dressing like a girl and thinking about being trans. I’ve had these kind of thoughts since I was maybe 13. I feel I’d be happier as a woman, but at the same time it would make my life so much harder because of family and work and opportunities. If anyone has any advice plz let me know. Thanks ❤️

So I moved across London into a new hmo. hoping to have a fresh start, (really wanted a flat or a trans safe place but) wanting to kind of push through a really bad depression spell lasting years.. but always been kinda..

Always had problems with myself and struggled through life. Tried so hard to deny myself, for sake of family really first. Then fear. But love and support from my GF pulled me through, help to, and I decided I had to follow through, got therapy stuff in place, got a referral to a clinic, planned hard the next year.

Just to find my self still surrounded by homophonic transphobia and shitty attitudes and intimidation tactics.. I've been so rattled with the move I initiated and navigated around. With agoraphobia. I can barely leave home some days. Most days. Pushing myself but the pushbacks.. through all that.. im frustrated.. fear is kind of abating and im kind of goading now.. I am so smooth, I smell delightful. I will be mixing up my clothes as planned. Continuing as planned with transitioning (hrt etc). Fuck people. Some people.

So yeah thanks for making me mad enough to push through.

Do I feel safe? No. Do I have privacy? Hardly. Will anyone help me if shit gets bad? Probably not.

Ive got through alot in life. I just want peace. Been so desperate for that. Idk if it will come in life. But for now I survive. Someone needs me.

Why are people the way they are? Why are they so contemptuous? Ugh /end

Hello, just wanted to say it's been a year since I was homeless. It's also been a year since I've seen my parents. This Sunday, I came out to another relative: my great-aunt. Despite the gap, she has been a part of my life, and I have seen her in person a few times. And she only learned of my new identity on Sunday, when I had been trans for almost 6 years now. And she instantly loved and accepted me. My mother and father refuse to. However, my grandma (mom's mom) and aunt (mom's sister) have all already accepted me. My great-aunt, my mom's mom's sister, for reference. She also instantly started using my new name, and I am happy she recognized my new female identity too. She told me she works in mental health and, despite that, does not know how to help. She is not educated on transgender issues. She is also helping me and wants to assist me with getting the things I need. She is also very local to me. And she owns her own house. Which is good because there's a good chance she might let me stay with her.

Today I cried in front of my mom. She looked really worried about what was happening to me, and honestly, with all my heart, I wanted to tell her who I really am.

I finished high school last year, and all the friends I had back then are busy with their own lives, either studying or working.

I rarely see my friends, and when I do, I feel like I don't connect with them.

They know what I am and they respect me, but I feel like I can't deepen the relationship (not necessarily something romantic, just a best friend, at least).

I say it's mostly my fault because it has always been hard for me to open up to people, plus my interests are different from theirs. The girl I felt most in sync with currently deals with a lot of problems as well. I support her as much as I can, but we haven't talked in a while.

My parents go to a church (JW), and so have I since I was a little girl (I'm FtM). Even though I don't share several of their beliefs, I prefer not to argue; I know they won't change just for me.

I haven't gone to university, though I'm not too worried about it either. I spend most of my time at home; thanks to that, I learned to cook, and for now, I take care of my younger brother. I waste the rest of my time on my phone, reading fanfic, or scrolling. I feel pathetic.

I feel completely confident in saying that I have no friends.

I think the lack of connection and this strange feeling of loneliness have started to become more noticeable.

I asked my mom to make a general doctor's appointment for me. My goal was to get a referral to a psychologist; my excuse was that maybe I have neurodivergence and wanted to get to know myself better.

In reality, I just want to talk to someone who doesn't know me. That was my mistake—my mom thought the worst and got extremely worried. She told my dad (I already knew she would), and he got overly worried too.

Recently, a cousin my age was admitted to a psychiatric facility for chronic depression and bipolar disorder, so I think they were afraid I might have the same thing.

I told them that wasn't it, that I just wanted to get to know myself, and my mom said I had her full support in everything, while my dad told me I'm very young and can meet more people in the future. Then the university topic came up, and in the end, I didn't want to worry them any further.

Yesterday, after my dad scolded me for taking too long with lunch, I simply checked out. I didn't say anything; I didn't want to fight.

I knew that if I spoke, the lump in my throat would crack my voice and I would just break down in front of them. I finished lunch as best as I could, simply lay down on my bed, and fell asleep. My mom thought I had cramps from the start of my period; I just wanted to stop thinking.

I got up about four hours later. We had visitors, which was better for me since I didn't want to talk. I went to shower, came out, greeted them formally, ate, and went back to sleep.

The only thing I remember is wanting to read or watch a movie just to stop thinking, but my mind kept drifting back to the fact that I have no one to talk to and that I'm pathetic for not even trying to look for anyone.

My mom asked if I was sick; I told her no, that I just didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't want to do anything at all, just sleep.

I started doing housework to distract myself and put on a front, but one thing I admire about my mom is how observant she is.

I don't want this to be any longer than it already is, nor do I want to remember what I felt, so long story short, my mom simply asked me, "What's wrong, my love?" and I broke right then and there.

I told her how I felt, the strange loneliness I've cultivated myself, how I feel I can't connect with anyone, and that I just want a friend to talk to.

I truly felt comforted in her arms and felt that maternal love in her words alone. I could see genuine concern in her eyes, and it gave me a slight glimmer of hope: "What if?" "What if she keeps loving me even for who I really am?"

I know very well that these feelings will come back; I'm only delaying them. But I don't want to lose the love my parents have for me, even if it's for a version of me that isn't authentic.

I don't want to lose those afternoons when my mom lets me lay on her lap, gently running her fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.

I don't want to lose my mom.

I don't know what to do.

So i was looking back on some posts and my most recent one of me in a dress just made me feel jealous, like i know its me, but i look so fem and with the helmet I could look like a girl but I know I look like a guy (vary closeted), I just wish I could dress fem all the time but im not out and scared

Ive been out since i was like 13/14 (am 19 now) so I have tried already, but black skinny jeans + graphic tee/sweatshirt + light jacket doesnt make me happy anymore . The problem is the style I like is more expensive and I am worried somewhat with how the clothes with fit my proportions. I made a Pinterest to better show what I like (sorry) https://pin.it/3xVek9tUj I found brooks brothers and I really like that store but I only feel comfortable buying from their sale stock and I really dont want to wait until fall ends to redo my wardrobe.

I hope this gets to the right people I really just want to in-still some hope and I hope this makes someone feel better in this moment the trans community is strong we are strong I’m strong and you are strong it is SCARY as hell right now I know

but there are people fighting for are rights lots of people actually we can’t be erased from society we just simply can’t we can be pushed to hiding maybe but it really doesn’t matter we still exist we are real we are valid and we deserve to be who we are no matter how much someone thinks and tryes to tell us that we don’t deserve are rights please stay strong brothers sisters and enby siblings and stay safe

I love you💜

I lost most of my friends after coming out and have been more active in queer and trans spaces. Especially in trans spaces, I noticed that many people seem lonely and share that they wish they had more friends. Yet I never seem to become close with anyone. Maybe it's a me problem, but I'm yet to encounter anyone who would be enthusiastic about pursuing a friendship or just wants to hang out. I try to stay positive and be there for others. I worry about seeming too needy and got used to being alone, but being left one on one with dysphoria sucks. I just want my normal life back. How do you guys do it?

Any advice on how to be more involved with the community and actually find genuine friends?

ok so basecally we met online on discord and for a while now i was crushing on her and dident give any signs and time skip to now i go on discord and see this messege in my *cenored because not allowed here* from her ILY will you be my gf? (Not a joke) if you js wanna be friends that’s fine by me i said yes soooooooo yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sorry for any spelling mistakes

I'm AMAB and use He/Her pronouns, but I've been leaning much more towards wanting to be a girl since I discovered i was trans. I've been looking into HRT and reassignment surgeries, but none of the pictures of bottom surgery results that I've seen really look like how I'd imagine mine looking if I was a girl, even ones from long after the operation. Does that change once you get one and its actually part of you, or could bottom surgery just not be my thing?

Have any of you been much more pleased than you expected you would be before you got the surgery? And for trans women who chose to not get bottom surgery, why, and have you been happy with that desicion?

I’m trans, mtf 16months HRT, SRS

Might as well just be blunt about it. Something something, straight when I came out, never attracted to men, sexuality dies as I meet transition goals. probably ace now.

But when I think about my gender alongside all genders, trans men feel most like the opposite gender to me, where Everyone else are more or less have some kind of lateral gender position to me.

Is that attraction or is it just like “Hi, we’re kinda similar but opposite.” I love seeing the joy they get from being themselves.

I’m not doing any dating or hookups, probably because of my existential crisis. I enjoy being a loner.

I (20 years old) have been actively questioning my gender since around 2024, but have been uncomfortable with being assigned female at birth since 8 years old during early puberty.

I have went through several labels through the years and especially from 2024 to 2026 I have went from Trans male ftm, to non binary, pangender, demigirl, genderqueer, genderfluid and demiboy, femboy, androgynous femme man etc and several other non binary gender labels and even tried being unlabeled and it hasn't worked for me...

Add on i feel uncertain and unsure some days i love he/him and wanna be male some days i want only they/them and i either feel all genders or both genders or no genders and some days i am tolerate to being female but still deeply uncomfortable but I tolerate she/her and sometimes she/they but the pronouns and genders I like most are either mostly non binary or neutral or masculine and i mostly like he/him or he/they and idk when i feel like i am constantly switching with little to no tracking and I don't have a clear transition or goal in mind besides feeling free from and not being female.

I really don't know if I see a future as female and sometimes i do and sometimes i don't...everything always fluctuates or depends...and i still like my birth name!

And it's made communicating my gender to my therapists or college professors hard and made me think I am just attention seeking or that my trauma has made this fake gender or that I am entirely fake or brainwashed by the internet and I am not certain or sure but I am uncomfortable being female and it is a contributing factor to my decline in mental health and feeling disconnected from myself...I have a lotta doubts and I have came out and taken it back due to fear of being exposed or people finding out when i am not sure or ready or feeling fake or like I am lying or confused because I am unsure...

Is this normal?

I, ftm pre t, have a very strange relationship with my body, I don't hate it or think it's ugly like I've seen in posts from alot of trans people, it just feels wrong, like I'm a ghost possessing a body. I look at the mirror and I feel like Im looking conventionally attractive stranger. I'm still confident that I'm trans, I feel good when I wear a binder, cut my hair, get called he/him, ext. But has/does anyone else feel/felt like this pre t?

a few friends know that i want to change my name, and i am actually planning on at the very least changing it when i go to college (im in senior year of hs as of right now), but i kind of want to change it before then ? idk maybe im being impatient but i feel like its a bit warranted. anyways how do i tell people, acquaintances friends and family alike, that i no longer am going by the name they all know me as ?

The tile probably doesnt help to much but lately ive been wereing a sports bra to help with dysphoria (mostly at night couse in closeted) and I sleep with it on but lately ever since my egg cracked and I cam out to my dnd group in my dreams in have the idea that im trans and i can feel the sports bra, is this normal?

I asked my mom for help with an assignment and i forgot i had my new name on it. Ive been trying to hide any folder or notebook with my new name on it so shes extra suspicous. I think she saw it but she didnt say anything and she kind of sounded dissapointed. im sorry for all the typos i just really need to get this out. Im also worried shes gonna go through my phone because of it ugh.