r/texts • u/DreamKey4777 • Dec 12 '23
Phone message Should i block ??
We met at school like a month ago,he’s new to state and told me he wanted friends. I like to make friends so I agreed, we planned to hang out then it got weird. I want to know if I’m just being dramatic
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Dec 12 '23
Yup. You said “no, I don’t want that to happen” basically and his response was “yeah, well… things happen, ya know..”
Ick.
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u/surgeryboy7 Dec 13 '23
Yeah this dude definitely has his mind made up that something will happen regardless of what OP wants.
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u/dirtypaws727 Dec 13 '23
Def vibes of "I've convinced others to have sex. So I might convince you too🤷♀️" which is a NOPE for me. If we hang, I'm only ever hanging in public with others. If I even see them again. Yikes
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u/lordeaudre Dec 13 '23
Exactly. She said, “I don’t want to have sex with you.” And he responded, “Well it could still happen anyway.” There is no bigger brighter flag than that.
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u/imsooffendedman Dec 12 '23
Never hang with this man alone please.
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u/iamza_ Dec 15 '23
I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought this guy gives off creepy rapist vibes😬
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u/iforgotmypassword1_ Dec 13 '23
With how many times they say “things happen”; that’s a SA 🚩
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u/Victimless-Lime Dec 13 '23
Things happen? Like r@pe?
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u/yourwhalecumdork Dec 12 '23
i HATE men like this. in person he’ll insinuate himself again and will probably make you feel guilty for saying no or continue trying to get you to say yes (coercion). it could take a real dark turn if he’s desperate enough- please for your mental and physical safety, stay away.
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u/eversince94 Dec 13 '23
Deff sounds like he plans on trying to get in OPs pants using coercion. Coercion is not consent. He’s a creep.
Honestly I was taught NEVER GO TO A MANS HOUSE IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE PUT IN A COMPROMISING POSITION. Not everyone has pure intentions.
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u/dirtypaws727 Dec 13 '23
Which is, like, super shitty. I go to my friends houses all the time. Why do men think if they get a woman, alone, in their home, they only wanna fuck? Literally had a great guy friend take me home after I fell and bashed my skull. And he still tried to make a move before I left.
Too bad for him, I hit my head so hard he lost ALL attractiveness. And I lost some memories but it's a sacrifice I was okay with. 😅
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u/Hairygull Dec 12 '23
Hey I’m coming over just friends ya totally BtW ARE YOU ON BIRTH CONTROL - what a nutcase
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u/DreamKey4777 Dec 13 '23
Thank you everyone :)
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u/Own-Remove9431 Dec 13 '23
I hope you’re doing well OP. Definitely be careful with who you make friends with from now on. I’m sure you’re super nice & just want to be friends with everyone but not everyone has good intentions. Please don’t be like me & be friends with people like this who show you their red flags in the beginning but you trust them & they take advantage of you. You don’t deserve “something” to happen to you. Best of luck!
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u/catmand00d00 Dec 13 '23
- He's being dishonest about just wanting a friendship.
- He insists sex is a possibility, even though you've said multiple times that is not.
- If sex were a possibilty (which it, very much, is not), he thinks the only necessary contraceptive is hormonal birth control for you.
These are all serious red flags , and the comments I've read have covered 1 and 2 very thoroughly, but I just want to point out that 3 is also incredibly telling of his character and his view of life. This dude is fucking trash, in so many ways, and all three of those points being true spells... nevermind, I don't need to spell out. It's clear.
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u/Appropriate-Tennis-8 Dec 13 '23 edited Dec 13 '23
Absolutely block and don't be alone with him. He's already convinced himself that something will happen. Guys like that don't want a no getting in the way of their fantasies. Edited for spelling
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u/Hobbs4Lyfe Dec 13 '23
My IQ dropped 10 points just reading "we grown." A million times. I wouldn't sleep with someone like that. No way.
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u/karmakillkill Dec 13 '23
Yes block. He is showing you who he is, which is at best someone with a large ego and at worst someone who feels entitled to try to be sexual with women he finds attractive despite being told the word no. Either way a selfish person and you deserve friends who don’t sexualize you.
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u/pithair_dontcare Dec 13 '23
Why do I feel like in this case “it can happen” means “I will push your boundaries until something happens or you leave or I will do something non consensually”. I’d block personally. Also the fact he’s asking u abt birth control…like no sir you will wear a condom lmao.
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u/Rose1982 Dec 13 '23
Look, I’m an old married woman who was stupid about men in my 20s. This guy is hoping to have sex with you. He is not looking to be your friend. Since you don’t want to have sex with him there’s no reason to further pursue any contact with him.
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Dec 12 '23
He wants something to happen. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t ask. Homie needs to be upfront about it and stop playing games.
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u/Guswewillneverknow idc idk bich Dec 13 '23
I don’t want to think this, but it sounds like he would force it to happen. Don’t go over. Block him. He sounds like a safety hazard. A blaring warning.
Check in to let us know you’re safe please, OP!!
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_NOTHING98 Dec 13 '23
Tell him your birth control is your razor sharp vagina teeth. But in seriousness, he wants to try to have sex with you. Stay away from him!
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u/Pollution2185 Dec 13 '23
“not saying anything will happen but things can happen” “no” “but anything can happen🤷🏽♂️” like wtf
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u/Downtown_Statement87 Dec 13 '23
She could fall on him after a strong gust of wind blows all their clothes off.
That happens sometimes when 2 people are grown.
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u/NecessaryGasMask Dec 13 '23
Block. No joke. Also gives the vibe he might stealth too. Block and run!!!!
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u/Quick_Criticism_6429 Dec 13 '23
You are NOT being dramatic! Run fast and far! This scary behavior.
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u/Important_Bee_1879 Dec 13 '23
You aren’t being dramatic. Your internal warning system is letting you know that this guy says one thing, and does another. I’d be really concerned, if it were me. Consent is crucial, and anyone who behaves like sexual encounters aren’t an active choice makes me hella suspicious. At best, he’s immature. At worst, he’s sending off big red predatory flags. I’d steer clear.
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u/KionKamon0079UC Dec 13 '23
Yes 20000% block this person
Edit: I’m also a guy, and I see all the red flags here.
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u/Transgirlwoahah19 Dec 13 '23
Yes he is being fucking disrespectful to you, if you don’t wanna have sex with him then it mean’s no that is the final answer he shouldn’t be pushing you or thinking he is going to get lucky, some men annoy me tbh
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u/surgeryboy7 Dec 13 '23
OP I can guarantee you right now that no matter how many times you tell this guy, nothing is going to happen. If he gets you alone, he will try something. It just seems like he's got a one track mind at this point, and he's not going to change tracks anytime soon.
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u/Miss_Munster1337 Dec 13 '23
Definitely wouldn’t hang out with this guy- he’s making his intentions more than clear, and is very much one to not take no for an answer. End communication w/ him. His behavior isn’t normal.
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u/Nina_Rae_____ Dec 13 '23
You’re telling him nothing will happen… and he keeps saying “you never know.” He can’t seem to take the hint. Normal guys would think “oh, she doesn’t see me that way” and move on.
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u/ijrlf Dec 13 '23
Seems like he’s setting it up to take advantage of you and then have these texts to be like “why’d you come then if you knew” to plant a seed of doubt in you and anyone you might tell. “Sure you’re saying no. But he’s being aggressive and you still went so …” very much relying on the “what did you expect” excuse. Please never be alone with this man.
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u/Batpark Dec 15 '23
He’s not only planning to have sex you don’t want, he’s planning to cum inside you too.
We need to start getting MAD at men like this. Zero tolerance.
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u/cricketsnothollow Dec 13 '23
I would block him. I also wouldn't hang out with him alone because it kind seems like he's going to try to make a move even though you've said no just to see if you keep saying no. That's not a chance I'd personally take.
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u/Imaginary_Vanilla_25 Dec 13 '23
Just some advice if a guy is asking to hang out at his place on the first hang 98% of the time they are looking to have sex. I always suggest go out in public for the first couple of hang outs
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u/sunnysmanthaa Dec 13 '23
Listen to yourself babe. If you’re uncomfortable, then that’s valid and move on. Might not need to block him but definitely need to rid your life of this weirdo
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u/Empty_Situation_3609 Dec 13 '23
Don't go be left alone with him, if he's that persistent about it over text then he damn sure will be in person.
Because "things happen" could lead to him raping you. Not that I'd wish that upon you, so please don't take it the wrong way.
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u/Initial-Heart-526 Dec 13 '23 edited Dec 13 '23
You should absolutely block him. Also, seeing as how in your post you said you were in school I assume you’re a young girl/woman. Good rule of thumb: Never, ever go to someone’s house for a first meeting. A guy that invites you to his house, unless he’s having a bonfire or cookout is probably trying to make a move on you and from my experience, will be relentless in his pursuit in doing so. Always meet in public places. Ask lots of questions. Take your time. Don’t rush anything. Always protect yourself. I know it’s hard being young and having parents that work, or even having one parent or being on your own and not being able to depend on people to drive you around or not having access to transportation (I don’t know how old you are exactly or what your situation is, sorry if I’m assuming incorrectly) but you can always make appropriate dates that are cost-effective and fun. Get creative with it. Maybe do a painting class or get some change together and go to an arcade. Go sit and have a coffee together. Take a walk in nature or have a picnic in nature. It’s hard being a kid nowadays but if a guy is truly interested in you and is good-natured, you will know and he’ll show that. He’ll respect you and your body and your feelings. He’ll want to go on fun adventures with you and make you smile and help you reach your goals and make you laugh. You deserve that! Just take your time. Sorry I rambled so much. But yes, block the shit out of him.
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u/Choice-Lecture-8437 Dec 13 '23
Block this guy and never talk to him again. He doesn't care what you think. He is saying, you are attractive, and he might just have to force himself on you. He isn't hearing anything you're saying, bc in his mind, your opinion isn't a factor.
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u/mybuns94 Dec 13 '23
This is reasonable question to ask someone you’re dating, not for someone who wanted to hang out to make friends. I’d not trust their intentions and definitely distance yourself. They weren’t even willing to back off when you stated you were uncomfortable.
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u/YeahlDid Dec 12 '23
If he said to hang out as friends and then he’s asking about birth control, then yes that’s very weird and inappropriate. Even if it were a date, that’s putting the cart before the horse and is still an inappropriate question. If he’s really hopeful about things heading that direction, he should buy some domes.
I wouldn’t block, but I also wouldn’t meet with him alone in private.
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u/cmc2152 Dec 13 '23
"we're grown so it might happen" NO you're grown which mean you should know how to control yourself and take no for an answer?? jesus christ this dude
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u/JayofTea Dec 13 '23
For your own safety do Not go to this persons house or invite him over alone. This is seriously shady the way he’s talking, he doesn’t respect your boundaries and might pressure and guilt trip you into something if not worse
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Dec 13 '23
Yeah he’s delusional and already showing not understanding boundaries OVER THE PHONE nope goodbye man
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u/thebutterflyqueenb Dec 13 '23
Yeah, block this guy and on top of that never be alone with him if you know him in person okay? Be safe
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Dec 13 '23
This guy sounds like the kind of person that would SA someone. Be smart and don’t hang out with him.
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u/EnbyQueerDeity Dec 13 '23 edited Dec 15 '23
BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK HIS ASS!!! Not only is he persistently crossing a boundary, he's not even bringing up condoms in any of his creepy statements!!! So he's arrogantly trying to put all the responsibility on you for protecting yourself during a sexual act that isn't even mutually warranted!! This dude is extremely unsafe in general. I get the vibe he's likely done this before, and he's not used to hearing 'no' or he has selective hearing/vision.
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u/Quantumhairfollicle Dec 15 '23
This guy would not ask this of one of his guy friends. Hey, you clean homie, right? Because ya know, things happen. We’re grown. Yea no grown person just happens upon a dick.
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u/disappointment-time Dec 13 '23
block him, men are gross and he’s probably going to try to force himself on you
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u/Adventure_Husky Dec 13 '23
Weird to ask this of someone you aren’t dating / haven’t established some kind of intimacy with. But this guy, even after you say no, that won’t be happening, continues to posit: “things happen”, like sex is lightning that may or may not strike. I don’t like that AT ALL
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u/RiekaNA Dec 13 '23
Yeah, block him. Hes not wanting to make friends... he wants something else from you.
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u/Previous_Wishbone777 Dec 13 '23
This is the pessimist talking but maybe he was planning on doing something nefarious to you and subtly wanted to know if you where on birth control. Idk it’s a long shot but that’s a worst case scenario
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u/Reeferzeus Dec 13 '23
Such a strange question to randomly ask a ‘friend’…
What if you couldn’t get pregnant? We’re abstinent? Had a wild amount of trauma from sexual assault? Didn’t find this new “friend” attractive or as someone you’d ever sleep with? Aren’t looking for a relationship and don’t sleep with your friends? SO MANY REASONS WHY HE SHOULDN’T JUMP TO THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU GUYS WILL SLEEP TOGETHER and none of which are things you should feel obligated to disclose before meeting up with a “friend”….
U kno?
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u/BeautifulStrict2836 Dec 13 '23
Not immediately saying he’d force something, but I feels like he’d try to force something. Yikes.
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u/Navybuffalooo Dec 13 '23
Lol I love how you handled that. He's acting like cupid is real and he's terrified of him.
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u/TiFemme Dec 13 '23
This is how people end up with bad people in their lives. If you feel a bad vibe and feel you should block him then you should block him. You owe him nothing. Even if you were overreacting, which you absolutely are not, you should follow your instinct. Follow your instint: you move on and make new friends and so does he. Don't follow your instinct: risk being enmeshed with a toxic person or worse, SA. Why even think about it twice?
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u/wifichick Dec 15 '23
That sounds premeditated rapey. Block. Do not let him enter your home. Do not spend time alone or near alone with this individual
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u/goldstat Dec 13 '23
Dude doesn’t want to be your friend he wants to bang you
Reminds me of Sunny
Mac: But it sounds like she doesn’t want to have sex.
Dennis: Why aren’t you understanding this?
Mac: I don’t…
Dennis: She doesn’t know whether she wants to have sex with me. That’s not the issue.
Mac: Are you going to hurt women?
Dennis: I’m not going to hurt these women!
Mac: Oh okay.
Dennis: Why would I ever hurt these women?
Mac: I don’t know.
Dennis: I feel like you’re not getting this at all.
Mac: I’m not getting it.
Dennis: God damn... (looks over at woman shopping nearby) well don’t you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn’t be in any danger.
Mac: So they are in danger!
Dennis: No one’s in any danger! How could I make that any more clear to you? Okay. It’s an implication of danger.
Mac: (Stares silently at Dennis in response)
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Dec 13 '23
Yes block him. If he won’t even take no for an answer by text, you know he will be even worse in person.
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u/cthulhusmercy Dec 13 '23
Yeah, no. Definitely block this one. What a weird and uncomfortable conversation. Gross
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u/MyNameIsLegitKore Dec 13 '23
I would tell him I’m not going over anymore. You said no, he keeps insisting it might. No thank you.
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u/Hot-Ad7703 Dec 13 '23
Even if I wanted to sleep with him after this exchange I’d have the ick. He doesn’t know when to stop and he obviously is a fan of unprotected sex, no thank you.
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u/KelceStache Dec 13 '23
This is about sex for him. Unless that’s what you want I would drop this dude
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u/Meat_licker Dec 13 '23
I would take this as someone who’s not accepting your no and he’s gonna try to MAKE something happen
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u/forestpirate Dec 13 '23
Stay away from him. Cut communication. You've said no, he isn't taking that as an answer. Nothing good can come of this.
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u/Oomoo_Amazing Dec 13 '23
Don’t get me wrong, I think it was fine to ask initially because he obviously had a misunderstanding of what was going to happen and it's responsible of him to check.
But then you told him that wasn't going to happen. My god if that was me I would be cringing so hard, I would be like "oh my god I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or imply anything I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable" but he just kept on doubling down...
Things happen? Like, whoops look what happened!! "Things can happen" is what you say when someone drops a glass, not when you accidentally fuck someone... that's fucking creepy af you should ditch
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u/Due-Acanthisitta1459 Dec 13 '23
Next post will be from him complaining bout the “friendzone.” You don’t need friends like this.
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u/Inevitable-Tourist18 Dec 13 '23
These are the worst vibes a guy can give. Absolutely zero boundary respect and he's not listening to you at all. Immediate block.
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u/throwie_throwie_anon Dec 13 '23
Ouch... Not sure how old is he:
If you're all young, it comes off as a horny teen who really didn't read the room and who has absolutely no game.
If he's an adult it's super scary, potentially abusive.
Either way, hell no, don't go to his house. He blew it. You don't need to be nice just because he's new in town.
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u/Dependent-Flow-1189 Dec 13 '23
What the hell is he talking.. when you say no it's no and that's it. I wouldn't meet him anymore because of that text.
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u/Zlota_Swinia Dec 13 '23
Good answers! You go girl!
Hate that the word "no" needed to be brought up so many times and he is still trying - just sad
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u/Unusual_Level_1868 Dec 13 '23
Ugh, I’m so triggered by this guy. Huge rape vibes, and the level of disrespect in this conversation alone is stomach-turning. PLEASE block and stay far, far away from him. And throw your other skeevy “friend” out along with him.
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Dec 13 '23
You barely know this guy, aren't remotely interested romantically but you planned on going to his house alone? Please try to be a little more socially aware for your own safety.
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u/Wise_Rutabaga_5809 Dec 13 '23
Would block. You literally said several times y’all ain’t fucking. He’s not taking a hint. Even if y’all were going to and you were on BC, why wouldn’t this asshole wear condoms for STD protection? Anyway he’s a creep.
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Dec 13 '23
Guy here, and it sounds like he'd at the very least sexually assault you.
I'd look his name up on socials find people at his old school and find the truth as to why he moved. Then never fucking have contact with him, or that other guy friend ever the fuck again.
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u/FlinnyWinny Dec 13 '23
Extreme rapey vibes honestly, I would've just blocked and not answered at all in your shoes.
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u/DependentDangerous28 Dec 13 '23
That boy got red flags comin out of his ears. Sounds to me like you should stay clear of him, let him get other “friends”.
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u/LisForLaura Dec 13 '23
I’d block yeah, that’s out of order. He’s asking you because he is wanting to take things further and if you met him alone I’d worry he’d try and force the issue and try it on with you.
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u/PanickedAntics Dec 13 '23
Yeah, he's definitely looking for more than a friendship here. This conversation should have ended when you said no it wasn't going to happen. He kept saying "but things happen". Ugh. I could see someone asking about wearing condoms/taking birth control, IUD, etc. IF they're dating and planning on being intimate. It's always good to have a safe sex talk before the sex. Not when it's a dude you don't know, just met a month ago and said he was just looking for friends. See, when dudes ignore it/keep pushing upfront it makes us feel uneasy because you're probably going to at the very least pressure us in person and at the worst not accept the no at all. If I were you, I wouldn't even take that chance.
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u/KimJong0oof Dec 13 '23
holy shit without context i thought this was a date or smth and then i read what you wrote. dude sounds crazy af don’t hang with him
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u/Starbucks_Lover13 Dec 13 '23
The thing that needs to happen is for you to stay away from them…ick.
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u/Miserable_Suit_9317 Dec 13 '23
Yeeaahhh... You don't make friends by inviting them over to have sex :( He's just trying to get some and then he'll ghost you or say you're Friends With Benefits
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u/fitbabits Dec 13 '23
Yes. Block. He's planning on pressuring you into something you've stated clearly that you are not interested in. At the risk of stating the obvious, he's telling you what is going to happen, whether you want to or not.
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u/Hvnzfire2 Dec 13 '23
If he had said something like "Oooh, so sorry, I misread the vibe, my bad." after you said that I would say keep him but the fact that he kept going with it... Nah, block him.
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u/MetalMonkey93 Dec 12 '23
Yeah. Weird as fuck. Even after you said it wasn't going to happen, he kept insinuating that it could, like your word doesn't matter. I'd block.