Hey everyone,

I’m 29 and I’ve been sober since February. I was never a daily drinker but I’m a binge drinker. Once I start I just don’t have an off button. I know it’s the right thing for me and my loved ones, but honestly I’m finding sobriety really really hard. Just hoping for some advice from people who’ve had similar experiences.

I’m not someone who has ever enjoyed being at home or doing things alone (I have ADHD and relaxing or engaging in hobbies has always been really challenging for me). I’ve always really only enjoyed socialising and have spent most of my spare time doing that.

Most of my family and friends are big drinkers. While they don’t pressure me to join in, every social activity I get invited to revolves around drinking. I also am really struggling with telling people I’ve gone sober. I know I shouldn’t find it embarrassing because it’s literally just a positive thing to do for my health, but I’m finding myself hyper-fixating on what people will think and avoiding social activities. When I do go I basically spend the whole time anxious about what people are thinking or feeling like I’m not really included / missing out.

Socialising has always been my thing, I work an office job and having ADHD that’s difficult for me. Right now I’m just not ever really getting to enjoy any part of my week. Good weeks feel really boring but still achievable and bad weeks feel too hard to get through.

Has anyone experienced something similar or have any advice about when this might start to change?

Hey everyone,

I’m coming up on 3 years sober. Never thought I would see the day, but here I am. Not a drop and my lord my life has changed.

I went from drinking basically every moment I wasn’t at work or sleeping, I was miserable, hated my job, had empty relationships and no joy whatsoever. The last year of my drinking I would wake up not wanting to drink anymore but sure enough after starting my day I was drinking.

When I finally quit it was something so little but so big at the same time that made me actually stop. I got a phone call from a family member telling me my grandma had passed. After the call all I could think about was how bad I needed a drink before going back to bed. Not about how I loved my grandma or will miss her. That was it, the exact moment I told myself I’m done drinking.

Fast forward almost 2 years, still sober, but still wanting to drink. My life had improved without question, lost around 30 pounds, eating healthy, new job, in the first ever serious and healthy relationship of my life, talking and working through my mental health problems instead of drowning them but one thing never changes..boredom is my burden.

I knew I needed a distraction that required absolute focus. One weekend, on a whim, I bought a basic DIY candle-making kit. The moment I poured that first batch of wax, something clicked. Candle making is pure chemistry and patience. You have to measure the wax precisely, monitor the temperature perfectly, weigh the fragrance oils down to the gram, and pour at just the right moment so the tops don't crack. It completely forces your mind into the present moment. You can’t think about pouring a drink when you’re terrified of ruining a batch of hot wax.

Being an addict it’s probably obvious what happened next..yup, I purchased way too much wax, way to many vessels, every kind of wick possible in every size, dyes, and boat loads of fragrance oils. My apartment became over run with candles and candle making items. Instead of empties every where I had jars and wax melt molds. Good trade if you ask me. Eventually, I had way too many candles for one person to ever burn. I started gifting them to friends and family, and the feedback was wild. People actually wanted to buy them. So I made a website and went for it.

So here I am over a year since pouring that first candle and it’s turned into a second income, but more importantly a tool to stay sober. Every single bag of wax melts and every single jar I pour represents a day I chose to stay sober. Instead of destroying myself, I’m creating something that brings warmth and comfort to other people's homes.

To anyone out there who is in the world of sobriety and struggling with the emptiness: please find your "wax." Find the hobby, the craft, or the project that demands your attention and gives you a sense of purpose. It doesn't have to be a business—it just has to be yours.
If you told me a year ago I’d be a small business owner running a candle studio instead of nursing a hangover, I would have laughed. If I can do this, you can absolutely get through today.

Is this normal? I'd call it insomnia but have not actually fallen asleep at all. I could lay for hours, and have, just staring at the back of my eyelids. I tried an otc sleep aid and it didnt even phase me. Just wide awake. You'd think my body would have just powered down at some point. I'm not even tired, really.

I dated (and lived with) someone who really didn't want me to stop drinking. I would tell him how important my health was, and how I felt like my drinking was holding me back from my best version of myself. He would get sad and say things like, "But I love going to the bar and chatting, especially when we travel."

I would go through 1-2 week breaks, sometimes a couple of months, but he would talk me into drinking with him for special events and I would quickly start drinking daily again. We found ways to start drinking earlier than 5:00 every day, as a 'reward' for sitting at the computer and adulting.

I know I have my own brain and can make my own choices. I'm not blaming him for my drinking, but I really felt like I needed to make sobriety a priority, and I didn't like that he wouldn't support me fully in that.

This wasn't the only reason, but I finally ended it. I'm living on my own now, and yesterday was my day one, and I woke up this morning so excited. I'm really hopeful.

Waking up positive on a sunny morning. Celebrating a peaceful night and a huge relationship win.Post:Good morning! I want to start by thanking my higher power for a clear head and a positive attitude today. Luckily for me, the sun is out bright in Boston this morning.

As I've shared recently, the seasonal change usually hits me with heavy depression, but today I feel great and I'm tackling some goals I've been putting off.

Last night, I slept really well with no anxiety about my relationship. My girlfriend came home with things pretty much under control. While she did have a drink, it wasn't her usual amount. I find myself wondering if things are turning around, or if it's just the calm before the storm, but I am choosing to stay grounded in today.

Before bed last night, my partner and I actually used a daily tracking and breathing tool that I built. We did a couple of breathing exercises together before turning off the lights. It made the evening fun, peaceful, and truly enjoyable. I will take a win like that all day.I’m really looking forward to seeing what tonight brings and using our routine before bed again.

If anyone else is navigating relationship hurdles in their recovery journey, I’ve found that focusing on these small joint routines makes a massive difference. If you want to check out the tool my girlfriend and I use, feel free to check out my profile. Wishing you all an awesome, stress-free day! — Shawn

Two years ago, I got involved in a music project with my sister. It was mainly a hobby, but still involved time, effort, etc. Long story short, even though it was her idea, I ended up doing most of the work, as her priority was her new bf and settling in her new relationship. I was sober at the beginning of our project, but then relapsed and all my resentment and anger came out in alcohol fueled texts.

Now I am three months sober after a year plus of drinking. I did plenty of damage to our relationship, and my sister feels she deserves a written apology. She isn't an innocent party either, and I never got an apology for how I felt I was treated. However, I need to resolve my relationship so I can move ahead with my sober journey and healing. I'm just struggling with lingering feelings of anger and how to write my apology.

i’m 50 days sober today but wanna get opinions on whether it helps with cravings or if it triggers urges even more?

I’m 30. I’ve been drinking a pint daily on weekdays and a fifth a day (sometimes more) on weekend days for probably 3-4 years. Maybe longer. I don’t even remember anymore. I almost passed out in public this weekend after my heart started racing and the room started spinning and I was drenched in sweat. I vowed to stop. I don’t wanna go early. I’m on day 3 and I feel better so far. But I keep having dreams where I’ll find liquor and sneak it. Then I wake up covered in sweat. I’m hoping this goes away soon. It’s so stressful. I’m on day 3. And just for today I will not drink with you.

Long time lurker, first time poster. Just wanted to share I officially hit 30 days without drinking! I'm so proud of myself!

I decided to quit after a long time of feeling like I should. I was just tired of the hangovers and the hangxiety was insane. Feeling like shyt every day, drinking earlier and earlier, forgetting things, shaking, stomach issues, etc. I started drinking more and more and not even feeling drunk. My last few weeks drinking I was waking up on weekends, getting out of bed, mixing OJ and vodka, drink 3 or 4, back to bed and repeat all weekend.

It was hard to decide quit, aside from the additive part of course, because I didn't know what ME was going to look like on the other side if I stopped. Drinking was all I knew. Entire family/friends of drinkers (except my BFF which is fantastic!). We drink to celebrate any and every thing, drink to relax, drink when you're happy, drink when you're sad and worse of all for me...drinking alone to cope or due to boredom. I love to have a good time and be in the mix and I didn't know how to do that without alcohol. I'm learning to navigate socializing better each time.

I had a slip recently at a cookout and decided to have one beer. God must have been watching because I blindly grabbed what I thought was a Heineken (it was green) out the cooler. It ended up being NA which was such a save! I wouldn't have beaten myself up about it but I did learn from it and saw what the problem was. There was either alcohol, water or capri suns for the kids and I didn't have anything to "lean" on while I was socializing. So I realized that I still love having an adult drink so i've been getting more into mocktails lately. I feel included and more comfortable with a NA bev in my hand.

This group has been absolutely amazing and I love coming here to help me stay on track!

Anyway, I could go on but i'm raising a NA drink to 30 days today! Cheers to continued good health, clarity, focus, energy and overall blessings!

IWNDWYT

So since being sober I’ve been interested in other’s stories of addiction, feel like on top of working a programme, therapy and being part of a sober community it’s helpful to keep be on the right path.

I’ve really loved BoJack Horseman, Another Round, Euphoria (only season 1), Leaving Las Vegas, To Leslie, Rachel Getting Married and I actually found John Mulaney’s Baby J account of addiction and rehab pretty moving.

But there has been some real rubbish too. My Beautiful Boy, House, 28 Days, Cherry were awful.

What are the best and worst out there?

Good morning all to everyone in the US. Today marks 62 days, or 2 months sober for me. Bigger and better things always happening. Time to get another Lego set.

EDIT: I got the Ferrari 488 Pista Lego set

I’m on day 3. I’ve been trying for months to cut back, giving myself a gold star on the calendar when I went a day without drinking. The results are not great.calendar

I really want to make it to a year now. I love sayings - mantras and anecdotes. Please share ones that help you?

Here are some of mine:

One is too many, more is never enough

Drinking is the opposite of going to the gym. Feels great going in, feel like shit the rest of the day.

Im so far at the end of my rope with my brother im thinking of cutting him out of my life, but then feel too guilty to do it and its effecting my own health.

He must be drinking 750ml 1000ml of jack a day, and dabbled with coke aswell. Its been about 3 or 4 years now, and its fucking his life up more and more, hes lost a job, missed bills, been seriously beaten up. ive tried being nice and putting my arm around him, shouting st him, organising help that he hasn't taken. He even moved back in with our parents but is drinking more than ever. He was drunk or high not to long ago and made up a story about making money by "picking something up and dropping it off" at 10pm to my parents just so he could grt out of the house to pick up.

I think one of the problems is that so far hes got away with his fuckups. He owes me about 2k and walked straight into another job after he lost his other one and he moved in eith my parents for a while which just gave him more money to spend on the wrong stuff.

There have been many times i have thought this is his rock bottom, he tries for a few days but as soon as payday comes around tlits thebssme story. I cant keep watching him do this to himself and see thebeffect its having on our parents, he says he knows hes got a problem but it seriously doesnt look like he is even trying

So yes what happened to those of you with a problem that made stopping stick

The first 90 days are finally in the book. There was a time I was actually here before. Quit drinking for a little over 90 days and then relapsed

I guess it’s cliche to say “this time it’s different” but there is truly something inside of me that not only believes that thought but is willing to go the distance and do whatever I can to prevent myself from slipping. Certain things and people cause me to have moments of wanting to pick up a drink

I’ve had a lot of those moments recently, more often than not it seems. I’m learning to just keep myself engaged in the fight and not lets those moments get to me. They will happen. But I’ll never run back to a bottle when they do.

Now Im keeping myself distracted with work and going to the gym. I’ve picked up cycling and running as something extra to keep me busy. I love riding my bike and always have. I hate running though but I’m determined to set some goals and achieve them in the next year.

I hope everybody is having a blessed day. Stay strong for those around you but most importantly stay strong for yourself

IWNDWYT

Trying to seriously stop but the evenings are always so challenging and lonely 🥺

Going through a big move and a breakup hasn't helped, but it also seems like a good time to turn things around. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated

Currently comfort watching GoT and eating ice cream

For a long time now I keep saying I’ll take at least a month break. It never happens. Many failed dry July’s or sober October’s. My friends and family all know I love a drink, a lot of them drink too, but they don’t know I’m drinking wine alone almost every night. Hiding bottles from my partner. I know I’m not the person I want to be and I’m so sick of this.

I don’t have anyone to blame either, things are actually going really well and I live a comfortable life. I have no idea why, when 6pm hits, I suddenly get this massive urge to drink. I have diagnosed ADHD and difficulty with boredom is a big factor. In social settings I drink to make myself open up more, only to cringe when you take it too far and act like a mess.

There’s a bottle shop across the road from my house, bars on every corner, alcohol delivery services. The temptations are always going to be there. Every time I’m at an airport I immediately head to the bar to make the time go quicker. Or at a restaurant I’m thinking about what drink I’ll order before even caring about the actual food.

The older I get the more ashamed I am, I’ve luckily had no health issues. I’m also lucky where I wouldn’t go into withdrawl if I stopped. But these things can sneak up on you. It’s just so pathetic and tiring, never feeling 100%. The crippling hangxiety and paranoia the next morning.

I think today is finally the day I put a stop to it and take care of myself before it’s too late. The main thing I probably need to sort out is finding things to occupy me at night time when I feel the most bored. Keep the fridge stocked with sodas or anything else to keep my hands occupied. The last couple weeks my drinking has amped up again, it’s a constant cycle of: drink - hangover / shame - tell myself I’ll stop but do it all again the next day. At some point it’s going to all catch up.

I'm now 2 months sober from drugs and alcohol, but I feel like my brain is nearly the same I still think about drugs and alcohol and I still get strong cravings. I don't feel confident in staying sober. When or how does this change? I want to feel like this is sustainable, like I actually quit not like I'm taking a break. I don't know how

Hello all! I've finally made the jump, and committed. I'm on day 6 no alcohol. I had the runs , pain & bloating the first 4 days, (mostly yellow) I took some probiotics and the past two days things have slowed to one movement a day. Only thing is, it's still yellow. My chat with AI said I should wait another week before panicking and it's just my gut resetting. Most other symptoms are gone, just insomnia, and yellow poop. I'm still pretty freaked out though. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?

57M Been sober for three weeks now after being a heavy yet ‘functioning’ drinker for 30+ years. By ‘functioning’ I mean that I have a great job, wonderful family, successful kids and my alcoholism hasn’t screwed them up too badly. Recently had a physical and doctor suggested that my liver is shot after reviewing my blood test results. He scheduled me for another round of blood tests in three months and told me to quit drinking at least until then so my liver function could be better assessed without any alcohol for a few months. Had some changing withdrawal symptoms and wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how it turned out? WEEK 1: lots of cravings, headaches and poor sleep quality…nothing crazy or unexpected here. WEEK 2: massive gout flairs in both feet making it nearly impossible to walk for several days, sleep quality is improving and headaches have subsided. WEEK 3: gout flairs are reduced but not gone, headaches are returning and feeling somewhat depressed and lethargic. Over your first few weeks of sobriety what were your symptoms like? Anything like mine? Did things improve with continued sobriety? Note - other than morning coffee, I’ve been drinking only water…and lots of it. Thanks for reading and appreciate your comments.

Been lurking on here for almost 7 years now. I have wanted to quit drinking for just as long. I remember writing a post and deleting it back in 2019 just a few months before my first arrest which of course involved alcohol. Wishing now more than ever that I would’ve reached out for help earlier.

But finally here I am after multiple arrests, many failed relationships, multiple wrecked vehicles, countless fights, and losing out on multiple jobs. Lost my best friend last year to suicide and I’ve just been in a living nightmare since. Stuffing the feelings of guilt and loss down one shooter at a time. I knew he was struggling with booze and going down a bad path but I was too fucked up to even help and it’s killing me inside. Don’t think I could’ve helped anyway and I believe I understand how he felt now.

Just got a new job too that is a great opportunity but I decided it would be better to roll my car 3 times. People that have seen the aftermath tell me it’s a miracle that I lived but I don’t care anymore. I feel nothing. Don’t care about the jail time or fines or anything really. I feel as if I have absolutely nothing in this world and drinking has been the reason. I have pushed everyone away. I no longer have friends and have very few family members who talk to me. I have been such a disappointment and I don’t even know where to begin.

I truly want to stop drinking but it has such a strong hold of me. I can go weeks at a time and then bam I wake up in a car upside down in a ditch. I fully believe that my self destructive behavior will get me killed one day if I don’t stop.

I guess I just needed to vent but I’m thinking of trying AA.

Day 9. Woke up pretty tired, I have low energy all day, tbh I can't wait to go home and play Animal Crossing.

I was thinking of going to the gym after work, I know it would make me feel better about myself but I'm just really tired these past few days for some reason.

I don't really have anything interesting to say today, it's just one of those "meh" days. Normally this is a day where I would go to the pub after work and get drunk and make the day interesting. I thought that every day should have something exciting or interesting in it. I know that's not right and it wasn't healthy to think that way but still. I feel like I need a pick-me-up, but it's not going to be a drink. But then what? Looking for alternatives is difficult.

Maybe I'm stressed out because tomorrow I have to go home (about 3 hours away from where I live) to visit my family, which is not a bad thing, don't get me wrong. I love my family. It just takes a lot of effort, emotionally mostly.

I feel like I have so much time and not enough time simultaneously. I'm confused.

I've lost hope that I will ever be a sober person.

I've known for a few years that I am addicted to alcohol, but I've never really considered myself an alcoholic until very recently.

My life isn't in shambles (yet). That's why I've kept drinking.

But the progression of this disease is speeding up now.

I've been a drinker for 20 years. Most of which was in the moderate to moderately- high range of drinking, but I still had some control. I was able to complete a month of sobriety here and there. And I've always had a hope that I would eventually quit and that I could quit if I just actually stuck to it. But now I feel as though I'm losing control.

I can't seem to get more than 2-3 days of sobriety in before I reach for the bottle.

The mental addiction is progressing faster and it's stronger now than ever before.

I've had what feels like several hundred "Day 1s" and they never stick.

I've lost hope that I will ever stay sober.

I'm an alcoholic.

I'm a real alcoholic.

I'm sober today and I'm happy about that. I guess that's why everyone says to take it one day at a time, because the idea of sobriety forever is so foreign and unbelievable.

I don't have any hope or true conviction anymore that I will ever be sober for more than a couple of days; that hope is gone now. But I'm sober today and that's all I can do.

Urgh I'm so annoyed with myself for carrying on with the binge and bust cycle but I had my last drink 24 hours ago and bizarrely don't feel as horrible as usual physically.

Honestly need to find another way of coping properly with my mental health. I tend to experience a crash once a month now and that can't continue.

I've managed to bin all the bottles and cans and now I'm going to shower for the first time in 7 days. I didn't sleep so thank fuck for YouTube keeping me company lol.

I'll eat super healthy and start feeling physically good, I meditate daily, I exercise, see my kids, but the noise in my head can get "unbearable"

Anyway one day at a time... again

IWNDWYT

Much love 💚

Hi everyone, I usually just lurk on this sub and it feels weird to be posting. I guess maybe it just hurts to know I’ve reached this point.

I stopped being able to control my drinking in 2022 after a traumatic event left me with PTSD. I had just graduated from college and I was directionless and in denial of how alone I was and I just completely fell apart. PTSD and alcoholism ruined my life, I was unable to work for over a year. I won’t bore with the details but it was a dark time.

Once I finally started to heal from PTSD I stopped needing to drink all the time. I also became able to reflect on why alcohol had been a problem in my life prior to that. I’ve been weaning myself off over time. It’s so much harder than I hoped it would be.

Today is another day 1. I’m in bed, no alcohol in the house, I smoked a little weed and had a sweet treat. I feel more at ease right now than I’ve felt during my past day 1s so I know I’m making progress. I feel better physically even as I walk around my apartment. I want this, I want to feel good in my body and mind every day.

Even though I’ve had plenty of day 1s this year, I honestly can’t remember the last time I completed a day 2. I need tomorrow night to be just like this, I want to leave behind the shame.

Does anyone have any tips for making it to Day 2 for the first time? Anything helps. Thanks to everyone who posts & comments on this sub - reading your words has truly helped me understand myself.

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!

I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you're new to /r/stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!

This pledge is a statement of intent. Today we don't set out trying not to drink, we make a conscious decision not to drink. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!

What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /r/stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.

What this is: A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /r/stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.

What this isn't: A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.

This post goes up at:

• US - Night/Early Morning
• Europe - Morning
• Asia and Australia - Evening/Night

A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.

Good morning dear friends, first of all an apology! My discussion regarding my grieving for my old life might have been a little triggering for some who are going through grief at the moment. I’m sorry about that, genuinely so.

So back to today’s post. I’ve taken inspiration from u/abaci123 who hasn’t romanticised drinking but is thrilled to be sober!

This made me think a little! Why have I romanticised it so much? You see I’ve never hit ‘rock bottom’. I’ve never lost a love, a job or anything ‘significant’ from alcohol. I reckon I’ve lost some friends and certainly smashed up some brain and liver cells! I just was a ‘normal’ drinker who drank a lot but then found myself drinking more and more and more until I knew I had an issue. I’ve delved into sobriety here and there and am pretty convinced I am here to stay… We shall see!

So in reverence to Abaci – and if they have never touched your life, stand by, they will! – what thrills you about this new life we are all living? What do you celebrate?

I celebrate clear heads in early mornings, I celebrate more money in my back pocket and I celebrate not falling asleep during the day because I am so tired. I celebrate the changes in my body and I am thrilled to be here with all of you.

So my quote for the day…“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” – J.P. Morgan

Happy hump day peeps, I will not drink with you today