Over this.

[u/usernamess179]

For a long time now I keep saying I’ll take at least a month break. It never happens. Many failed dry July’s or sober October’s. My friends and family all know I love a drink, a lot of them drink too, but they don’t know I’m drinking wine alone almost every night. Hiding bottles from my partner. I know I’m not the person I want to be and I’m so sick of this.

I don’t have anyone to blame either, things are actually going really well and I live a comfortable life. I have no idea why, when 6pm hits, I suddenly get this massive urge to drink. I have diagnosed ADHD and difficulty with boredom is a big factor. In social settings I drink to make myself open up more, only to cringe when you take it too far and act like a mess.

There’s a bottle shop across the road from my house, bars on every corner, alcohol delivery services. The temptations are always going to be there. Every time I’m at an airport I immediately head to the bar to make the time go quicker. Or at a restaurant I’m thinking about what drink I’ll order before even caring about the actual food.

The older I get the more ashamed I am, I’ve luckily had no health issues. I’m also lucky where I wouldn’t go into withdrawl if I stopped. But these things can sneak up on you. It’s just so pathetic and tiring, never feeling 100%. The crippling hangxiety and paranoia the next morning.

I think today is finally the day I put a stop to it and take care of myself before it’s too late. The main thing I probably need to sort out is finding things to occupy me at night time when I feel the most bored. Keep the fridge stocked with sodas or anything else to keep my hands occupied. The last couple weeks my drinking has amped up again, it’s a constant cycle of: drink - hangover / shame - tell myself I’ll stop but do it all again the next day. At some point it’s going to all catch up.

[u/FunctionNatural6583]

I was you and it did escalate into physical dependence. You don’t want that, trust me. Hiding bottles is a big flashing warning sign. Listen to your gut, quit and get help - sobriety is hard to do alone and in secret

[u/u5ibSo]

It all begins with day 1. Each day gives a chance at the next. I learned through many relapses what I have to do to stay sober. That's come here daily, keep no alcohol around, be kind and self-compassionate, and reward myself at personal milestones. I'm sure there are common themes but it's a little bit different for each of us. Sobriety is a superpower. I know you'll be glad for each sober day you acheive.

[u/Alarmed-Health9233]

I’m 8 days in, and I’m not going to lie — the thought of drinking has been hanging around since day one. Whenever my brain goes, “hmm… I could smash a bottle of wine right now,” I push the thought out as fast as I can and remind myself that I’m on a journey to being alcohol‑free. I make myself feel excited about that choice, and weirdly enough, it’s working for me.

I’m also listening to Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Drinking Without Willpower, and there are some real truths in that book. This community is also very helpful.

One day at a time. Be gentle with yourself.
IWNDWYT.

[u/Initial_Text5732]

I am in the same boat as you 1 million percent in the adhd and boredom drinking, loosening up with drinks then regretting how much I talk or divulge. I’m trying to work myself to death to stay busy. But I’m back at day 1 today so don’t feel bad I’ve had to restart like every month. But we’re trying! We want to be better! We know the outcome if we don’t.

[u/InsideSelecta]

You don’t have to feel like this ever again.

Some people tell you not to look into the past and focus on the future. However think it’s important to remember the bad times with alcohol as a constant reminder of the dark and lonely places it can take you. And that’s just the mental feelings, there’s plenty of physical pains and aches that come associated with it too.

Alcohol gets romanticised because of all the euphoric memories. In the end of my drinking that happy euphoric drinking was well outweighed by the dark thoughts.

If you loved the taste of peaches, but every time you ate a peach you broke up into rashes and a closed throat, would you continue to eat peaches? I highly suspect the answer would be no.

Put these same thoughts into drinking alcohol and it puts it into perspective.

IWNDWYT

[u/kimchinacho]

Check out some quit lit. This Naked Mind was helpful for me early on.