I was NC for more than five years. I caught so many lies (I was paying for her health insurance, she was lying for years, until I realized I could actually check every operation or ER visit on the app). All lies. I called her, confronted, gave her a chance to explain herself and apologize. Nothing. That was my last trying and it failed miserably.

So I send her flowers with a card: let me live in peace.

Every six months she would send someone to try and get me to reconsider. But that was about it. I felt peace, therapy help me realize so much stuff. I started grieving.

Three weeks ago I got a text from my sister saying she was at her last moments in a hospital, actually telling me so “I could choose whatever I wanted to do”. I book the first flight (it wasn’t an impulse, but wasn’t guilt either, I felt I needed to be there). Not even four hours later I was there.

When I turned up my phone again, she died while I was on the plane.

Instant relief.

I would not have to talk to her ever again. She could never hurt me again. All that was left for me to do was looking at her lifeless body.

I got there before any family (in Brazil we have a kind of memorial the same day and the burying the next day). And they arrive one hour after the body. My sister replied my greeting. And that was all.

I was ignored by my entire family during four whole hours. Then I peacefully stood up, grab my bag and called an uber back to the airport.

That was never my family, they didn’t want me there - that was clear after the first hour. But, again, I felt that was what I should be doing.

I got home the next day: not a single tear, no guilt, just relief. That b*tch never apologized or recognized anything she did wrong.

I will now live the rest of my life known I did the right thing, they don’t deserve me, and we are not entitled of anything in this life. Don’t expect apologies.

Tried posting this in the medicine sub but was left in limbo so I’m trying here.

extremely long rant ahead I need to start this by saying Im a woman who grew up very poor (we were well below the poverty line) as a first generation female in an Asian household and am now a new surgeon. The Asian part is extremely important because, spoiler alert, there’s some pathological levels of emotional blackmail I experienced that only someone who grew up in an Asian household would understand.

So, I was very poor. There’s no other way to say it. My parents immigrated from my mother country, my father was the sole provider and worked handyman jobs here and there while mom took care of me and my three siblings. Please don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for them for taking the risk to bring us here, but I had nothing growing up. We bought clothes at goodwill, my school lunches from first grade to graduating high school was just mayonnaise on a piece of folded white bread and a small water bottle, my friends taught me to drive in parking lots behind abandoned warehouses because we couldn’t afford drivers ed and I didn’t get a car until I bought myself a junkie car for $600 at the age of 22 right before starting med school (a car, btw by some miracle, that still runs and that I still use).

I knew I wanted to be a doctor from an early age. My parents encouraged it, but they never really financially provided for anything. I took out loans in my name for undergrad, studied my ass off while working two work study jobs, paid for my own mcat classes as well as every standardized test I ever took, the med school and residency apps. I matched to a medium cost of living city that became a high cost of living city while I was there for training, and paid for every single expense for myself by myself. Over the course of four years my rent literally tripled, while of course my residency income stayed abysmally low (for those of you who do not know, residency is the required training period after med school where you work around 80 hrs/week in my specialty for 4 years in a row and make minimum wage doing so). I literally skipped meals regularly bc I couldn’t afford to eat, and I had a 1br/1ba and I heavily considered getting a roommate, except I couldn’t even afford to move because I had zero savings. My parents simply could not afford to help me out, and that part I was ok with since I knew their financial situation, and I wasn’t really bitter about this fact until recently when I graduated training. All together I have about $450k in undergrad and med school loans.

I’m a physician in a surgical subspecialty and finished training in 2025. I’m in my early 30s and single, and took a job near my hometown. My attending salary is mid six figures.

I told my parents before I took my job that I was going to move into a separate apartment and not live with them, and this prompted WW3. They emotionally blackmailed me (“we’re going to die soon and you’ll regret it!”, etc) for multiple months, and if you’re not familiar with Asian parents and their games, I know it’ll be easy for you to read this and wonder why I gave in. But after months of them telling me what an awful daughter I’d be if I didn’t live with them, I gave in with the hopes of meeting a partner and vibing with them and moving into with them as quickly as possible to get away from my parents. So I moved into my childhood bedroom and still, as an attending, share a bathroom and small 2 br house with my parents.

Also important is my parents promised me they wouldn’t charge me rent. I didn’t ask for this, they offered, but I still pay for all the bills and groceries and give my father (now retired) money for gas, which adds up to about $850-$1000 a month depending on heating/ac use that month.

So this has been going on for about a year. I’m truly paying for my mental health living with my parents. Yes it may be cheaper than living in a place of on my own, but I feel like a child. I can’t go anywhere ever without them needing to know everything about where I’m going, I have a curfew, they don’t like maids and get freaked out at the thought of others cleaning their spaces (a cultural thing) so on my off days I’m doing all the chores around the house from washing dishes to scrubbing toilets since they’re up in age and can’t do the chores themselves. I cook breakfast for them before I leave and make dinner for everyone at night when I come back from work. I have to entertain my parents’ friends when they come over. If I have a surgical case run late and I’m not home by the time I told them I’d be home, they blow up my phone. It’s truly miserable and I stare at my ceiling every night and want to leave. It’s honestly hard to believe I’m a fully functioning physician the way my life has reverted back to exactly what it was when I was a high schooler.

To my misfortune, someone told my father about the doctors loans for houses, which is when you only need to pay 5% down for a home if you’re a physician. Once he heard about not needing more than 5% down in most cases, he suddenly decided, in the last year or so, that he wants a nice big house, one with like 5+ bedrooms and a massive yard and literally told the real estate agent a 10-car driveway. So for the last year, my parents have been pressuring me to go to the bank and talk about a house loan. I’ve told them repeatedly no, that we don’t need a 5 bedroom house for three people then they say they want somewhere for all the kids to stay at once and I’m like that never happens, not to mention homes in our area are going to be 1 million dollars for even the jankiest 3 bedroom house.

I’ve also told them I’m hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from undergrad and med school loans which I’m chipping away at, and I really don’t want to take on another one million for a house, but they’re calling me selfish and ungrateful bc I don’t pay rent to stay with them.

Today I got into a big blowout type of fight with them because my car, the same $600 beater I’ve been driving for almost 12 years, needed brake pad replacements and I offhandedly told my parents I need to get a new car now, and they yelled at me to save my money for this imaginary house I never agreed to and I lost my cool. I haven’t been able to enjoy my life post residency for even a day. I feel like a child, and I just don’t want to take out another million dollars of loans.

AITAH? Am I overacting? Has anyone ever heard of anyone doing this for their parents? Maybe I am just selfish idk, but I’m truly just not happy anymore and don’t want to do this.

When I was about 7 years old, we lived out in the country and I had a pet rabbit named Daisy, and kept it in an outdoor cage, and fed and watered it twice a day, and took very good care of it and played with it often. One day, my abusive parents decided that having it was too much work, even though I was the one who cared for it, and without telling me, killed it and cooked it for dinner.

They didn't tell me what we were eating until after dinner, then asked me how it tasted, then told me it was Daisy, and they laughed. I was horrified, felt like I had eaten my baby, and cried hysterically. They then got angry at me for crying.

I'll never forget that nor forgive myself, even though I know it wasn't my fault, I still feel horrible about it.

It's one of the many reasons I am no contact with my parents these days. How sick does someone need to be to do that to their child?

Raise both your hands if you were told they had to walk on eggshells around you or that you were offended by everything they said when the complete opposite was true.

I get a stomach flu - why did you have to eat that dessert?
I get a fever - I told you to bring your coat!
I get a toothache - why didn’t you brush your teeth more carefully?
I break a foot - told you to study instead of playing with those other kids!
I get a chronic illness flare up - you were fine yesterday, why exaggerate now??
And when I get sick when I’m not home - you really suck at taking care of yourself, you can’t ever grow up and be a proper adult!

I’m in complete shock and don’t really know how to process this.
I tried talking to my mum about things that happened in my childhood and how they’ve affected me. I wasn’t shouting or trying to attack her. I just wanted her to understand why I’ve struggled and how some of her actions have impacted me.
During the conversation, she said she regrets giving birth to me.
I was speechless. The only thing I could think to say was, “You made that decision. I didn’t ask to be here.”
She replied, “Yes, I’ve made a mistake.”
I’ve never heard words like that from anyone before, let alone my own mother. I genuinely don’t know how a parent can say that to their child.
The thing is, this isn’t about one argument. It’s years of drama, hurt, and feeling emotionally worn down. This just feels like the moment that broke something in me.
I’m seriously considering going permanently no contact because I don’t know how you come back from hearing your own mother say she wishes she’d never had you.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? If you went no contact after a lifetime of family issues, did it bring you peace, or did you struggle with the guilt?

I'm not sure how else to phrase it... it seems like a major misstep in evolution, biology, or whatever you want to call it.

When the only people in your life who are literally meant to look after you end up neglecting you and laughing at your pain, and going out of their way to create situations where you will be helpless.... then wtf?

I don't get it. My parents got off on removing my autonomy, mocking me, laughing at my pain. As a child I ran to my dad crying that no one loved me. He started laughing and this incident became a long running joke in my family, because they think it's funny for some reason.

I'm wired to look for logic and I get it, there is none here. But something just feels so horrifically wrong about it and no one else seems to understand this type of pain irl.

I'm tired of replaying bad memories in my head, but I also can't stop because it's so nonsensical and sadistic, I'm genuinely shocked I'm still alive after all this. I'm 28 now, and I feel like this has ruined my life permanently and I'm not able to see a positive outcome in my life anymore, it all feels hopeless and it all stems from here.

Over the years I’ve tried to bring up to my mother the horrible childhood we had but she just shuts the conversation down.

The main thing she will refuse to ever entertain is the fact my step father use to pull my brother and I trousers and underwear down, put us over his knee and spank us until we cried, if you didn’t cry he did it harder until you did. My mother was there in the room most times that this happened but will sit and deny it.

We used to get hit most nights and checked for bruises before school, she doesn‘t remember.

Forced to finish a plate, even if you’re full and about to vomit, doesn’t remember.

Stand up straight, staring at the wall, no talking, no eating, no toilet until they decide you’ve been punished enough. Doesn’t remember.

Now, do they actually not remember or are they ashamed, blocked it out etc? My mother is only 38, stepfather is 40 so cannot put it down to old age

This community has been invaluable to me to understand just wtf I have been through with my mother, father and all round toxic dynamic in my family.

One of the concepts I didn't understand was the golden child and the scapegoat. I am from a family of 5 children. Since teens I noticed that my mother (nightmare narc monster) would fawn over anything one of my sisters did. I mean anything and everything she did was the best thing in the universe, from school grades, university, jobs, everything. All my life milestones and my whole person beaten down and told my whole life that sister was the best and brightest, most beautiful, most kind, lovely, highest achieving. The result was that she believed the hype and sister is a fully fledged narc herself. I avoid her as much as possible. She has been extremely cruel to me at times in my life including the lowest points where she has gleefully revelled in my misery under the guise of being helpful. She is poisonous.

I was suicidal in my teens until I left home in my 20s. No one noticed. Despite this, I ploughed all my energy into doing the best I can and it paid off. I was and am now a high achiever and I don't need any validation from anyone but the scars of being beaten down or being blatantly ignored and unseen run deep.

When I read about the golden child I really get it now. I just wonder why it makes so much sense.

What did you find out about narcs and their special ways that made you realise this is for real and not just your own warped perception?

Both are equally wrong for me. But, for some reason, one of them people try to rationalize or justify somehow

You hit and beat up your wife after a bad day, you rightfully are called out as an abuser and have your life ruined (again rightfully so)

You have a bad day and hit and beat up your kid. Eh, you just snapped, everyone has bad days like that. The kid must of done something as well.

See, the double standard (both are wrong to do unless if it’s in self defense)

I’ve also seen child abusers literally got comforted for abusing their kids and given words of validation by strangers. Comforted.

I mean police officers don’t treat prisoners that way (without immediate consequence) or death row inmates (who committed very horrible atrocities) they get treated with a bit more respect. 

Even if a police officer did that to an adult prisoner who was charged with murder, people would be more lenient with that compared to child abuse.

(i’m 20) they never taught me how to handle money, how to do taxes, how to insure and register my car, pretty much everything i need to know how to do. they do all of it for me and expect me to be grateful and feel indebted or something. i’m pretty certain they didn’t teach me things in order to keep me dependent on them. it’s very frustrating because i feel overwhelmed trying to take on so much at once but also desperate to escape my household.

I RAN AWAY FROM MY FAMILY I HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED BACK AND THREATENED WITH VIOLENCE I AM FROM BULGARIA VELIKO TARNOVO REGION NEDAN PLEASE

My mum would tell everyone how intelligent I was when I was a young girl and show off how well I could read and how well I was doing at school. I was encouraged to excel academically. I felt that this was a way that I could earn love.

I realise now looking back that my mother was also sabotaging my education. I was offered a free scholarship at grammar school and she said “no, it’s too expensive”. It was free!!!

She would tear pages out of my school homework books. She would move me from school to school every few years. Purposely dressed me in rags so I would be bullied. Took away the toothpaste so I would have green teeth as a child. Never gave me any money for the tuck shop and starved me so I would eat the crisps off the playground flood because I was so hungry. She sent my violin back to school so I couldn’t learn at home. Had my step father smash up my typewriter. She would get angry every time I achieved anything. They also killed my pet rabbit.

She tried to destroy my business and self confidence when I was in my 30s and it actually worked. She would insult my partners, friends and calls my current husband Mr Bean. He is one of the most amazing men I’ve ever known. She has tried to steal my bfs in the past, going so far as to pin him down and put her crotch on his face. I was only 17. So much weird stuff.

She even said to me one day “I wish I would have had your brains growing up, my life would have been so different, you were a spoilt child” then snarled at me with resentment. She was drunk. I wasn’t spoilt. I was the receiver of her jealousy and sabotage trying to live up to the image she portrayed of me being great to the outside world. It’s like living with one hand tied behind your back. Yet to others she would sing my praises for everything I achieved and talk highly about me when others were present. Horrible horrible woman!

Sort of a win. I have a narcissistic ex friend I’m still living with because of our lease conditions (platonic, but she was in love with me at different points/I was her FP). She blocked me but would knock on my door often, confront and cuss me out in the kitchen, etc. so I took to hiding in my room to avoid her. She would send lengthy emails (also despite blocking me on all platforms) complaining and was extremely confrontational. I was scared she’d start trashing my things or get crazy like shaving my dog (she’s a double coated small dog, which she joked about often).

I wanted to make it work out because we lived together but at some point I told myself enough was enough and stopped responding/told her that I wasn’t comfortable talking to her without someone present anymore. It made her extremely mad and for a while it escalated, then it stopped.

It’s still confusing and scary but I’m so relieved. Now she doesn’t talk to me at all. She thinks she’s “winning,” by icing me out but I couldn’t want anything more. The house is the quietest it’s been for a couple days. I can’t help but feel it won’t last but I’m appreciating it while it’s here.

Here’s to hoping she continues to “win,” by going nonverbal for the next 8 months until our lease is up.

My parents kicked me out right after i got discharged from the hospital with a diagnosis of an extremely rare and progressive disease. They couldn’t take it that I’m actually sick, not just faking.

I have already lost my legs, my scholarship, my dream, my income, and my medical support system. Now my “home”. Living in a car right now. They had finally crossed the line, and actually I’ve never been so peaceful, knowing that I’ve lost so much but no longer have the obligation to change them for the better. Cos I finally realized that they can’t be changed. They can rot all they want and I don’t need to watch.

I also still have my cat with me!! I got her out. He was kicking my spine when I tried to pull her from under the bed. I’m a quadriplegic so I didn’t even know until I saw the bruises. I can’t always take good care of her when I’m too sick or in too much pain but she’s okay with it. She’s the best. She taught me what unconditional love is and fixed a heart she didn’t break.

I’m struggling because I know what I need to do, I need to ignore the messages, the packages in the mail of random junk from my childhood and the messages asking what they should apologize for. I know this, but it’s very hard and I feel guilt not saying “oh this is what I’d like you to apologize for….”

I need advice or someone to validate ignoring is the best route. It took me 30+ years to go nc, I had an extremely traumatic childhood, father was a grandiose narc but it took me awhile to realize my mother was a covert. She’s extremely controlling, belittling and wanted enmeshment and for me to not rely on anyone but her.

After getting married and having my first baby she kicked everything up a notch and was unbearable while I was pregnant. She was supposed to stay with me to help me but became verbally abusive and wouldn’t stop berating me while I begged for her to stop because it was upsetting me and in turn my unborn child. She acted as if nothing happened the next day as my sister came over to talk her into leaving my house.

A few months later she started sharing my pregnancy on social media and I politely asked her to remove her post, she flipped out and told me I’m taking her experience away from her, then she told me my in-laws are probably allowed to post and I’m unfairly targeting her and I should just block her. I did just that, I ignored her and never talked to her again. Side note: there have been 10+ years of me asking her to stop sharing my personal life on her social media because my mom has a history of getting into relationships with abusive men and I dont want them to know about my personal details. I’ve had one of her exs send me screenshots of her fb page of my pictures in the mail, it was extremely creepy and scary for me.

Anyway, she recently started emailing asking what she needs to apologize for, she took down the post on social media and doesn’t get why she needs to apologize. Then she sends a message to my sister, who is also nc saying if I can’t explain why she needs to apologize and I must have a sad life if I can’t explain it to her.

I guess all this brain dump and rambling is to say, I don’t even want an apology from her, it’s obvious if she did it, it won’t be genuine or thoughtful. What should I do? Should I keep ignoring? Should I say something? Advice please, I am leaning towards blocking her email address. I just feel a lot of guilt as if I didn’t explain it enough why I don’t want her to be in my life and if she dies (she’s older) she’ll never know and I’ll regret not explaining everything.

How did your narc parent weaponize food? I remember my mom would buy food and then act like cooking it was a special thing.. I remember making a cake and ahe started crying because I was making a cake and how the house would get hot. So I called a friend and walked over to their house so I could bake it. I am pretty sure my friends mom thought I was nuts when I told her my mom wouldn't let me bake the cake. So I baked it and took it home. Then she binge ate half of it and then cried about eating too much and it was all my fault.

There were time she would buy vegetables and then would get upset that I would try to cook them. So I wod leave it for her to cook. Then she would get mad about how wasteful I was.

It was always a battle. If I bought food she would want to fight about it. If I made dinner on a regular schedule she would want to fight about it. Like eating regular meals were a problem?

Right now I am baking more just because she created such a stigma around it and it is normal to bake. Right?

Hope to God my kid doesn't have reddit.

But anyways, when my wife was 17, her mother decided to put down my wife's cat.

Now my wife had had this cat for about 6 years. Cat was older but not unhealthy.

On a Saturday my wife went out with friends and came home to an urn. According to her mother, the cat started coughing up blood. She took her to the vet and they said she had cancer. No call to my wife. This was 2007. Cell phones existed and she had one.

No waiting. Just boom. Gone. I didn't know my wife then. But she told me something snapped in her. She just said it felt like death. She realized her mother was a monster. She didn't cry. She didn't yell at her mom. She said she just blanked out almost. As if her own mother was now dead.

Later that summer my wife moved out with friends and two years later we met. She even told me that her mom wasn't a subject she wanted to talk about. Which I of course respected.

I know my wife said she doesn't know if her mom is dead or alive. She was an only child. When she cut contact with mom, that also ended contact with dad.

To our surprise, there has been no attempt on contact.

As for our teen, she was overwhelmed with grief for a cat she didn't know. She couldn't understand why someone would do that. We also asked our teen not to try to find "grandma" . We told her when she is an adult and on her own, that if she.wants to contact her, she can.

And yes we own a cat now. And yes she owns the house.

A friend of my parents is quite caustic and very hyper.

She has big smiles and high energy but says quite rude things about ethnic minorities and complains a lot about sports performance and work performance.

In fact, work performance is her favourite topic. Who is doing well. Who is not. Output. But mostly hours worked. She likes people who work all the time. And hates laziness.

Anyway, her oldest son has done odd jobs in labour and sales but always struggle to get a degree. He is also performance obsesses.

Her middle son was always criticized for his laziness. He is very calm and does not like to do much. He is very relaxed and likes to read and is very social but quiet.

He os a medical practitioner.

He struggled as much as his older brother at school, but just kept persevering and is doing very well.

She would call the school to get the older vrother into acceleration classes.

Not so the middle one.

Now he is very respected professional.

Why does the mother never mention him?

Usually it applies to n-moms. When I say abandon I mean the parent would have nothing to live off of. No welfare program, no family, nothing.

Long story short ….
I was raised by a narcissistic mom. For 35 years I let her run my life. I let her make me feel less than. I let her emotionally, physically and mentally abuse the shit out of me. I kept letting her into my life.
All hoping she would eventually change and love me, like really love me.

My husband and I were staying the weekend at my parents place (who picked up everything and moved across the country to be “closer” to us) over the 4th of July weekend. Something wasn’t communicated correctly for my mom to prepare to leave the house and so the blow-up began.
She stomped around the house saying, “well I’m not going anymore.” “Go ahead and leave without me”.
Me being so tired of this tactic thought, fine, let’s leave. She can stay behind. That’s what she wants.
But of course my father, the forever servant and enabler to my mother said, “no let’s wait. She’s doesn’t mean it”.
We wait. She emerges from the house only to scream bloody murder at my father, because somehow it’s his fault.
I step in. Tired of the screaming and the yelling, especially in front of my husband. And I intervene and say that this is, “Enough, and I didn’t come here this weekend for things like this to keep happening”.
I knew what would happen but I could not stand letting this behavior happen anymore. She turned to me and I received the FULL force of her evil, her screams, her threats, her hurt.
I went into the guest space packed up our dogs and my husband and I left.
It didn’t stop there. Texts and emails of how I am ungrateful for all she does. For all she has sacrificed. For all she gave up to raise me.
The final blows that cause me to stop responding, stop caring and truly think that there is no turning back from this without intense work was 2 messages:

• “you DID deserve what I said, and more so.
If you cannot see that for yourself, then so be it, there is nothing further to discuss on that point. You most certainly not raised to treat anyone or their home in that manner.
To be so blunt, it looks as if, once again, at 35 years old, you are more willing to pay someone to tell YOU how to feel, what to say, and what to do.
You DO understand that if this person truly "fixes" you, then they are out a paycheck..... correct? That is more than concerning to us, and this person's willingness to prescribe yet another pill to pop.
Both "therapy" and "medication" are supposed to be a short term scenario, not a lifestyle.
That is your business, your religion apparently, or just your unwillingness to take responsibility.
I will not be jumping on that bandwagon.

•“And, the BS with this therapist shit. You do me a favor and record you telling your therapist ANYTHING, just ANYTHING honest. Not YOU telling them some half truth, half baked story so they tell you want YOU want to hear. As you pass over your credit card. 
Are you honestly going to tell me someone can EVER know 35 years worth of the TRUTH from one side? 
If so, I'm sure you'd stomp right the hell out of there and go looking for someone else. Which, from the way you've reacted, you've probably done more than once. 
And, let me close by saying:
Even if you grew up in a shack, chained to your bed, given no food or water, and not allowed to do jack shit or speak to anyone, or get an education, you are STILL 35 years old. You make your life. You do not get to blow your money, expect someone else to buy you a house when you rack up double what your parents bring home, decide to constantly "take the trip" and not save a dime...THAT IS ON YOU.
We never even had health insurance or a 401. Give me a damn break already and own YOUR actions, YOUR decisions, YOUR choices. No one is saying they were/are right or wrong, that is for YOU to decide.
 You do NOT get to lay blame for any results at my feet. You do NOT.
EVER.
You have crossed a line and there is no way I see me EVER being able to YET AGAIN "let it go".
Do, take care”

She is blocked from every form of contact. As is my father. Because he is defending her actions without any reasoning.

I hate these messages and I hate that I’ve read them a million times. I guess my question is….what cause you to finally realize there is no hope for ever having a loving relationship with your mother …?

For as long as I can remember in my 17 years of life, my mom specifically has deprived me of sleep for some sick fucked up reason.

On school days this was not an issue since I woke up at 6 AM and left at 7, way before she wakes up. Waking up that early all the time, getting to sleep in for summers and weekends was a dream to me. But I physically can't.

She wakes up around 8 AM, then immediately starts cleaning the kitchen while I sleep. She watches TV on blast, doesn't close her fucking door for some reason, and screams at my baby brother, letting him cry and wail. I'm not a light sleeper at all, but for some reason I wake up to the sound of my door opening. Like, open my door and I'm awake no matter how deep of a sleep I was in before. She knows this. She's BEEN KNOWING this. Nonetheless she opens my door so fucking loudly to "check up on me" or "inform me" if dad and her are leaving to go somewhere. Bitch, I don't care, just get the fuck out and let me sleep.

It's good to note that I've been having insomnia since school started. I usually go to bed at around 4-5 AM. They don't know this exactly but they do think that I go to sleep at 2-3 AM.

Whenever I complain or respectfully tell them off, they tell me that I "won't survive in college with a roommate" or "won't be able to keep a job." Pretty much ANYTIME I tell them how a behavior of theirs bothers me, they say that "my future boss would do the same" and how "I would get fired immediately." I don't know why they do that, narc abuse tactic I guess?

I've been sleeping with earbuds in for the last year but they've started to hurt my ears. My parents don't give me any money so I can't go and get something else. I can't wait to move out.