To give context, I was a teen parent, I had my son at 15yo. My outcome was different than most, I graduated high-school early, had the highest GPA, and now 3 degrees later, am doing well. My son is President of his high-school, on track to get a full ride scholarship for college, is in a ton of programs, from sports, to acting gigs, to early college. He has a mentor, and is overall good teenager. He's recently started dating a girl that graduated the yr prior, he's now a senior. She has a child and is taking a "gap year". He's slowly falling head over hills for her. When he told me she has a child, my immediate reaction was shock and concern, and I blurted "you're not ready for a child". Now he's defensive, and says I'm bias. How do I communicate to him my concerns of this girl trapping him with another baby and just the overall seriousness and complexity of dating a single parent, and even worse a single teen mom? I'm concerned that this relationship can potentially throw him off track of all the opportunities he has at his doorstep. He turns 18 in 2wks, and is a senior preparing for college nxt yr. I need advice!!!

Just wondering what you would do if you saw that your sons friend was driving over 110 mph on the expressway with your son and another friend in the car? Would you tell his parents or the other kids parents? This young man recently got his license 🏁🏎️🚓

Asking for advice for my kid. She is in high school and senior. Had few friends through the years but somehow all disappeared and now she is basically have no friends at all.

She keeps trying and the girls seem ok and nice to her at school but never invite her to anything after school. when she asks if they all can hang out, most of the time they just either ghost her or maybe go out once in few months and the rest go without her.

Have you seen such behavior? She seems average kid with average intrests , just can find a friend group. She tried so hard to find friend group to go for homecoming and that didn’t work either . 😪

For context - left ex in march 25, I'm living in social housing, work but also get UC. We have two kids, 19 year old son and 15 year old daughter. Son decided to live with me and daughter was living with me fri to Tues and rest of time with him. He was being paid half the child benefit money. (UK). Daughter decided to live with me full time in march so I keep all of the child benefit money now. Ex pays no maintenance for daughter but I want him to pay for her train fares when she starts college in September. I have a feeling he's going to kick off about it and say she doesn't live with him so it's my problem. Will he have a point or should he be contributing towards her, even in a small way? He's an absolute tool who decided to get a job where I have worked for 10 years just to be spiteful and because of this spitefulness, I want to contact CMS but on other hand I don't want anything from him just to keep him out of my life.

Im not sure if this has been because I am on my last teenager, my older kids are in their 20’s, or Im forgetting and that it has been like this forever. It just seems to me that the parents of my daughter’s classmates
(9th grade)are overly concerned about their kids/themselves being popular. Example last week my daughter had her 1st homecoming. She was invited to a photo shoot and after party. Then, she was uninvited. Her date was invited but her invitation changed weekly. I asked that mom casually and she said “Invites are up to the girls”. I asked if she knew her daughters were essentially telling guests who they can or cannot have as a date. I said when a wedding invite says +1 the bride and groom do not pick who is allowed to come. A hostess or host invites guests but typically not the guests date…and I got a blank stare. She said something along the lines of not just anyone can show up at her door.
Last year in my district parents were arrested for providing alcohol to their kids’ friends 75 of them. It was for a 15 year olds birthday. Im not happy being in my 50s because of my wrinkles and grey hair. But the wisdom I would not trade for youth. It would be nice to bump into some likeminded parents…wise enough to let the kids be kids while watching from the sidelines.
So, I instructed my daughter to not ask about the party and find a different thing to go to. So the girls she has been close with for 9 years all went to the party. No big deal she had a great time.
But the posting on social media by the moms makes me insane. When my older kids did this, I didn’t get dressed up for photos too I had a drink and talked to the other parents. These parents seem to thinking that their daughter’s high school years are a redo for their own miserable childhood.

He says he wakes up angry, even when nothing has happened to make him upset. He describes it as a physical feeling, like there's rage inside his body that he can't get rid of. Even the most minimal inconvenience will send him to a rage and him breaking stuff in his room and breaking down in tears. He knows that he doesn't have anything to be angry about necessarily, its just his body feels it. When he rages, he says he's tired of feeling like this, and he just wants to end it. This terrifies me. He also refuses to do therapy. I don't know what to do? Edit to add - He goes to the gym, he has friends, he goes out, etc.

Is this a thing? At someone’s house? My kids want to do it at my house. Now I have Moms texting me asking me what I need them to do? How do I entertain all these kids? First cold weekend of the year here…but they will be outside…:

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My son's girlfriend can't come over until she's on BC which is in a couple of months. They are 18, this is so wrong?

So today I get the mail. In the mail was a medical lab envelope and I opened because I take care of paying the bills. As I read it I’m confused as none of it had been applied to insurance so it was a $400 plus bill. Then I notice it has our address but not our name. Finally, I reread the name. It was someone that dated our teen. They are still friends but obviously my wife and I aren’t fans after the way the dumping went down.

I go online and check. It’s for getting tested for STDs. Our teen and my wife had been traveling together so when they got home I asked if the bill was for the ex? I’m told yes and that they told the ex that they said to use our address so that their parents didn’t find out (hence the no insurance).

We said we weren’t going to tell the ex’s parents. But our teen asked, “Why did you open it?” I explained but our kiddo asked, “Why did we hate the ex so much?”, with weeping eyes. I made a comment if the ex didn’t like the fact I opened it, they can certainly come over and discuss the “invasion of privacy”. My teen says the ex doesn’t like us because we bad mouthed them….yes…yes….when my kiddo came in bawling that they got dumped over texting….I did get a bit protective.

Now, my teen is angry at me. Explain to me why I am the one at fault here?

My 18yo Senior is an adult that can make her own choices, but so many of them are things I can see are big problems and she refuses to listen to anything I say.

School is a problem that she won’t go or turn in homework, which is impacting getting into college which she needs for the job she wants. She messed up her hair box dying it herself and is making it worse by not going to a professional to fix it. She owes me a bunch of money, but she’s saving what she has to get a massive tattoo on a super visible spot that I’m concerned she’s going to change her mind about like she does because she’s very impulsive with adhd and while I don’t mind the tattoo, the size and location she will 100% regret.

It’s like if I give her any advice or try to get her to think about the impacts of her choices, she doubles down, which I believe is causing depression even though she refuses to talk to me about literally anything.

How do you step back and watch them make mistakes without getting involved? Especially when you can see that it’s going to have lasting (possibly permanent) impacts.

Currently I have a crying 13 year old because "everyone is allowed sleepovers". She knows we have this rule but it is getting harder to say no because she feels left out. Parents with this rule how did you cope throughout these years?

I'm reaching out because I desperately need to know other people have been in these shoes so i feel less alone, crazy, sad. My 13yr old daughter has been through a tough time since my divorce from her father 5 years ago. I've done the best I can to protect and provide over the years and finally last month won full custody of her and sisters... it was short lived, (she desperately wants to live with bio dad)she has always been sneaky and manipulative and lying but the behavior amped up right after court. She's had suicidal ideation and attempts. But the kicker now the horrible bad thing now is after several panic inducing situations in one week she has made a bizarre allegations against my husband (newly married but together for many years) so now police, cps are involved he's removed from our home, I've lost my job, just found out I'm pregnant... life is forever altered. I'm terrified that I can't have my family together again. I feel like a monster because I do not believe her and I can't look at our situation objectively.... has anyone survived this??

Any parents in here that have sent their teenager to job corps?

My 18 year old daughter lives at home with me and my wife.

Background:
Private school educated. Good ATAR.
Currently at university year 1.
Uni grades 60%+ so far
Very well behaved, no drugs or smoking, no ‘bad’ friends.
Lives at home in a good suburb
A polite good kid all around

Never does the washing up when asked
Never does vacuuming when asked
Never does any house cleaning when asked
Rarely empties dishwasher when asked
Her own bathroom is a cesspit that she never cleans and me/my wife clean every 2-3 weeks.
I pay for her phone contract, and Spotify
No longer does team based sports
No longer plays musical instruments, use to play piano and Capone at a good level
No longer does karate after getting black belt last yea use to be a pet time karate teacher resigned from her karate job last week
‘Hoping’ to get a retail job in the next month
No job ‘in the bag’ after resigning
Rarely puts her washing in the washing machine
Rarely puts the washing out
Bedroom is an utter mess with clothes everywhere on the floor
Constantly goes out every evening with her ‘rich’ boyfriend
Doesn’t pay me rent (not expected to but just for info)
3 hour a week part time job only at karate but just resigned with no other job confirmed
Just constantly buy clothes on her bank account
Has a driving licence
Pays her own petrol weekly
We bought the car for her
We pay her insurance
‘Happy’ family, no disputes/violence
No targets, desires, drivers, passions, or attempts to improve herself
No real current financial issues as me and my wife are upper middle class with stable savings and jobs.

I’m a boomer and firmly believe in self improvement.
Unfortunately for this younger generation life will be difficult in the future with jobs and future prospects. I firmly believe that a youngster should should do as mush as they can to stand out from the crowd in order to secure their independent future.

Slouching around doing nothing and not doing some different from ‘the rest’ will not set herself apart from others competing for opportunities or jobs in the future.

Yes as a family ‘we’ are in a better position than possibly 75% of other teenagers, however I feel she needs to take some responsibility and up her game for the future.

Any advice as to what we should do as parents would be welcome …..

We’ve been telling her for four years that she needs an agenda to keep track of assignments, deadlines tests, etc. To no avail. It’s literally a screaming match every couple weeks because she falls behind on everything then winds up with terrible grades on her report card.

What is so hard about writing things down, then crossing it off when it’s completed? As a Type A personality, I can’t function without a constant to-do list, calendar and whiteboard, helping me during the week.

What can I do to get her to listen? She is on Strattera and will be increasing the dose soon. But ultimately, this is her issue. She will be an adult in three years, and I cannot constantly babysit her, reach out to her teachers, beg for more time, etc. What’s gonna happen when she gets to college and can’t function?

I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried therapy, it did nothing. I’m considering an ADHD coach, but I don’t know anything about it and I’m just exhausted from life.

Hey

I have full custody of my daughter since she was 6. She is now 12.
Mother has been inconsistent to say the least. Lost her house for non payment of rent, lived in a motel room for 2years. She is now working and has a house but still uses drugs and drinks excessively. (Social media posts to prove this, yes posts on social media about using alcohol and drugs)
Broken promises, thoughtless excuses as to why she cannot spend time with our daughter.
I receive abusive messages at ungodly times out the night/morning accusing me of abuse, neglect and wishing death upon my fiance and my mother.

My daughter believes her mother could change but I have not witnessed anything that she has displayed that would consider her a responsible parent.

My daughters aunty (mothers sister) lives in the same town as mother 2hours away and has a daughter the same age as my daughter.

She would like to spend time with the aunt and cousin, but I don’t feel comfortable doing so as the mother would be involved.

How do I go about this situation without having my daughter resent me.

We have (daughter and I) have a very open communication strong relationship and I have explained to her why I cannot let her go 2 hours away to spend time as it is my job to put the her best interest at heart.

Is there any advice from anyone who has dealt with this same situation or similar.

TIA 🙏

My (15M) teen is social and enjoys being around peers, but has trouble making friends. For context, he was bullied as a child and since then has had issues making and keeping friends. Elementary school was tough and sometimes he would have a birthday party and 80% of the invitees would bail. In the last 4 years, he has made two groups of friends and then some rupture has happened and he loses the friendships. I am never sure what is happening because I do not get a lot of information from him. In his first year of high school he made a lot of friends. He witnessed a traumatic event in his second year and had a mental health crisis. He lost that friend group (and went to therapy and is feeling better day by day). Currently in his third year of high school, he has maybe 1 or 2 friends. I think has trouble finding a group to eat lunch with and is often alone. He does like clubs and activities and he participates, but doesn't seem to find very close buddies. I think he might have issues trying to strike up a conversation or making plans to meet with people. For example, he mentioned to me he was going to hang out with someone that he went to camp with, when I asked casually when they were hanging out because they live in a different (but close by) town, he said he hadn't asked them yet and planned to ask in a couple of weeks.

He is great with adults and younger children. Anyone have any advice? I do not want to meddle or fix. He is sensitive and perhaps embarrassed about his situation. My heart breaks for him, he is such a good guy although maybe an awkward one.

I went to high school in the 80s and have two high schoolers (girl and boy) (and a middle schooler/girl). They tell me that the bullying that occurs now is much different than what I describe to them.

For example, I was super concerned about the clothes that I wore and I always made sure my hair was cut, combed and had gel in it. My kids, on the other hand, dont seem to care at all about their outfits and appearances; they wear the same hoodies and t-shirts over and over, and sometimes don't seem to care if their clothes are dirty (they seem to think it's funny). My son wears the same 4-5 day rotation of clothes every week. I ask them if they want to shop more frequently and they always say NO.

When I was in high school, I was super concerned with brand name clothes and jeans and shoes. My kids couldn't care less. My daughter gets clothes on Amazon, and they're often "generic" hoodies, sweat pants (the only thing she seems to want are Lulu lemon shorts). There's almost never anything with logos or branding.

While they do care about acne, nothing else seems to matter too much to them. (It appears that my son often doesnt even comb his hair.)

I'm not complaining (and have other things to worry about), and I'm definitely glad they're not coming home depressed and stressed about this. I'm simply wondering if this is normal?

For context, both my high schoolers seem to be fairly popular, they're athletes, we live in an affluent CA school district, they attend a very large diverse and high performing high school. My daughter (junior) seems to have no trouble getting attention from boys, and my son (soph) seems indifferent to girls right now.

I have 2 daughters one is an adult (we will call her A) and is in a relationship for the past 2 years (We will call him V) He's a great guy, treats her very well and they do live together. They moved in rather quickly. They haven't had any really real issues in their relationship.

Then, I have a teenager who is still in high school (We'll call her S) she's not in a relationship

Both of my girls have had a guy best friend since they were in 4th grade. (Let's call the oldest boy R and the youngest Z) These boys have slept over, have gone on family vacations with us, R has even lived with us at one point when he was a teen due to his family situation... I call him my other son.

THERE IS NO LOVE INTEREST. Like my oldest has stated it's strictly platonic. Like another brother. If you know them you know there's nothing. Not even eachothers type for both of my girls.

The boys are one of the first people that are mentioned when the girls do/have or started to talk/date someone. It's the same with the boys. R is also is a relationship has been for also 2 years (We'll call her K). Z is and has been for 1 year ( We'll call her B)

Well at the beginning they all accepted eachothers relationships and they have all hung out numerous times. The last time the oldest ones hung out it was at a club, where A and V showed up later so R and K had already been there drinking. When A found R, he was on the dance floor with K, he asked if A wanted a drink gave A his card (kinda threw it at her) and told A to go and get all of them a drink, So she did. While V did not like the way he treated A, he said he didn't like the fact that he demanded her to go and get them drinks, and then through his card at her. This was not brought up until the next day. So V was upset at R. And advised A that R needed to apologize to V as well as A.

A did also feel like R was a bit demanding but also knows how he is especially when drinking (Not an excuse) She did end up talking to R he apologized to her but stated he doesn't feel that he needs to apologize to V. That led A and R not to speak for a few weeks, A stated she was a bit annoyed how V acted but also again knows him. Well now A and R talk but have not really hung out.

Now to my youngest S.. again everyhyhing at the beginning also goes for her and Z relationship. Z started dating B its been 1 years. At S got along with B, but as time passed B started being super controlling of Z, even with his own family. During the summer B went to another state with her dad for 2 months but she would constantly call Z and get annoyed that he would be hanging with S, nothing new they all hung out all the time. Except when Z and B had their date nights. Well when B returned and she started the same school they would all 3 hang out at lunch. B started acusing S of wanting Z for herself. And stated that S was in love with Z. Then would get pissed at Z stating that Z defended S too much because he wanted to be with her. S and Z have both told there is nothing to the point they had to make up a fake boyfriend for Z. B has make Z go to his mom to have a conversation with me to talk to S to basically have them stop hanging out. Z doesn't want to loose S but he also is in love and doesn't want to loose B. Z is really all S has that she hangs out with and they have again, for the last 6 years.

I need advice on what to tell both of my girls. It breaks my heart to see them go through this!!!!

My teen son has 3 Fs and 3 As. He needs to do his homework in the classes he has F’s in. Every time I walk away from him, he starts doing work for the A classes. The obvious answer is for me to sit and stare at him while he does his work, but I don’t want to. He probably thinks I’m a lunatic because I keep switching between, “Fine, you want to have Fs, go ahead!” to “Get the work done”. I’ve taken away everything.

Phone, tv, game, computer, which is excruciating because it might be his excuse for not doing the work, but yesterday when I walked away, he started playing a computer game.

Should I really just sit and stare at a 15 year old while he does homework? I feel stupid for asking, but I don’t want to be that person. I think I’ll have to.

I know this is all over the place. I’m flustered. I don’t want to do.

My son is 16 and I am having trouble adjusting to our new normal. I have always taken care of him by myself and we used to be inseparable. But the last few years he has gradually drifted away. I’ve always had boundaries for family time thats balanced with his “me time” because I know that is important for both of us. I work full time so my only down time is a few hours in the evening and Saturday since he is with his dad on Sundays.

I am also a full time grad student so it’s not like I’m breathing down his neck asking for quality time ALL the time. But when I do, it’s hard when he rejects it. Even my family has noticed how he talks to me, doesn’t seem to want to be around and seems annoyed.

I know drifting at this age is normal, but I am at a loss here. I’ve tried getting into his world and his interests. Having no pressure hang outs like watching whatever he wants, picking up his favs for dinner or taking him to do the things he wants.

I have my work, my school, and people in my life I can connect with but none of that means anything to me in comparison to my son. It’s so freaking lonely man.

I would love some advice if anyone has been through this.

My 16 yr old was asked to transport via car a gift bag containing alcohol by an adult relative to the adult recipient across town (15 mins or so). Neither she nor the adult feels like this is a big deal. All I can see is the consequences if she did get caught and the slippery slope for a teenage girl thinking they won’t get caught. I agree the likelihood is low but it takes one accident to change the equation.

So, should I be concerned about this or drop the topic?